TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Bitterness is best digested with copious amounts of wine Boozle ! I find anyway...!
I've been such a bitch to dh today. I need a good slap. Ah well...they have it easier though.

boozle honey, do not apologise!! We all know exactly how you feel and that's why we are all here for you. God knows I was incredibly self indulgent when I first joined this thread in March, not sure I even asked how anyone was when I posted, I was so caught up in my bubble of sorrow because I felt so damn alone in RL. You rant and cry away, we will hold your hand and wipe away your snot without a second thought xxxx

knitted, I second opks not being that reliable in your wtf cycle. Your body is recovering from an almighty event and as such your hormones are racing about doing crazy shit, so an opk could throw up not altogether accurate readings. Of course, this is just my opinion and there's no saying your body will click back into normality straight away. I hope so

Hugs to you ladies who are struggling today. It's such a rubbish time and there's so many reminders everywhere of what we should/could have by now.

I should be just two weeks away from meeting my baby, probably less because it'd be our second and they often come early apparently. DH's brother and SIL are expecting their second the same week I was due; they came round on Monday to see our new house and the bump is just delicious. I felt an absolute bitch for not even asking about it/how she's doing or wishing her luck with the birth but she understands as she had a mc before her first and sat with her coat on all the time she was here (defo not cold so I'm sure she was protecting my feelings).

Hey ho. X factor back tonight and we are having a date at home - Indian takeaway and champagne we didn't open when we moved in a few weeks ago. I happen to be oving so who knows how the night will end....

Oh ladies theres so much sadness on here today. Sending you big hugs.
So sorry marmalade, it really isn't fair.

boozle it is shit, look after yourself and allow yourself to be annoyed with it all.

mademoiselle I wish I could help you feel better. Youve had to deal with so much and been so strong. Massive hugs to you.

I actually had the same thought yesterday. I should only be working for 8 weeks before being on maternity. Instead I'm not even fucking pregnant. I also had a nightmare last night that just relived the whole miscarriage. Arghhh!
I'm also a Christmas lover but Little Seed would've been born on Christmas Eve and I can't even bear thinking about how I'll feel then.

Oh and broody I'm also looking forward to x factor to take my mind off everything. Only minus is I can't have wine with my antibiotics!

knittedmittens I have spent weeks telling myself the exact same thing - I just wanted to make everything better. Time is helping, and thankfully that's something that can't be taken away from us in this situation, time just keeps going on and on and it's all we can think about. I hope you feel better soon, you could try the OPKs, it did make me feel in control at the time but now I'm no closer to knowing wtf is going on!

There are so many teachers on here, I'm one also. I've been dreading going back, you're right Boozle and mademoiselle it's so unfair that things have changed so much. My friend is the same amount of weeks as I should have been, a she is also a teacher and keeps telling me she doesn't have to worry about this year. I wish I didn't, it's bad enough at the best if times but knowing what could have been is just so upsetting. I hope everyone is ready for next week, I've never been this disorganised after the summer but all I can think about it my miscarriage. I just can't concentrate.

Chin up everyone, we need to stay strong xx

Thank you to all you lovely people for your support and advice.

I'm a teacher too

Blink I feel the same. Like this school year shouldn't even be a worry. Instead ill be there until June at the very earliest (if I got pregnant now).

I was thinking about that today too Treaclepie, I'm struggling to imagine how I'll even get through this year. But it will fly just like the rest of them I suppose. I think this has been the hardest school holiday I've ever been through and now I have to go back to work and be all breezy like I've had a great time. Truthfully, I just don't want to be away from my son. I just want to stay in my house with him where I can just be me, instead of putting on this brave face and sharing what a great break I've had with everyone who has actually had a great time.

I promised myself I'd either be a stone lighter or pregnant by the first day back. I'm neither - I'm a stone heavier and look like crap. I too have spent a fortune on clothes that will actually fasten in an attempt to look smart and professional Boozle. I'm tempted to go on the sun bed in an attempt to look less awful and I quit those as soon as I knew I was having DS. Urgh.

Now I'm being very self indulgent.

I feel the same blink.
I've put on 5lb after losing a stone before getting pregnant. So annoyed with myself.
Problem is I miscarried in May. I need to kick myself into gear and get out of this rut I'm in.

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm just so sorry to read about the shit times people are having.

Boozle I know it's probably the last thing you're thinking about, but you do qualify now for RMC testing, and it is heartbreaking to find out nothing is wrong with you, but it can open doors to extra support. The RM thread is really useful for advice and support. If anyone has experienced recurrent miscarriage, it is a useful thread for what is out there.

Someone asked if I'd done anything differently this time round, and the answer is yes. After my third MC I started having tests for RMC. Like many women, nothing showed up and I was told it was probably linked to my "super-fertility" (I just need to look at DH to get upduffed) and one would stick eventually. Next one didn't. Or the next one. It was completely shitbuckets and I went through a dreadful time at home and at work. I nearly gave up then, but decided to have a break and think about my one last try and what I would do.

Advice on the RM thread led me to look at the Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Coventry who run an implantation clinic. After a few months break from TTC, I saw them privately for a biopsy to check for nk cells. As I have super-fertility, I got pg the following cycle, and as my results weren't yet back I was treated as if I had high nk cells, with progesterone, heparin and prednisolone.

My nk cells were normal, but I was continued on the treatment until 12 weeks, although I started to wean myself off sooner. I've also had fortnightly scans to check progress and have been having weekly acupuncture to calm me the fuck down.

The treatment has left me feeling pretty ill, a stone heavier, and incredibly tired, but it seems a distant memory (after a couple of weeks) and I am still pregnant.

I strongly believe that my issues were with implantation, the biopsy "scratch" and progesterone helped enormously with this, and the heparin and prednisolone helped keep things friendly in there. We'll never know for sure why it has worked so far.

This is definitely my last go. I'm old and tired, and my family need me, with or without the baby.

I don't want to worry anyone. RM is very rare, and most women will still go on to have a healthy pregnancy even after 2 or 3 MCs.

Sorry for the ridiculously long and rambling post. I'm happy to answer any other questions, and am still on the RM thread a lot.

Treaclepie May was very recent - you probably still need time to grieve and make peace with yourself. It's odd, when I first miscarried I was quite factual and dismissive. It's taken me this month (and this thread!) to actually accept what has happened and realise that I can't just pretend it didn't happen because I didn't want it to! it did happen, it happened to me and I lost a baby. I've never admitted that to anyone but my own mind (and even then...). So now I think I can start to heal, which I didn't think I'd need to do because it was 'so early'. This month has made me realise that that phrase means nothing, despite my previous beliefs. I was so convinced before that if I got pregnant again I'd be better, but sadly that is just not true. I'll be better when I accept it but it's never going to go away, being pregnant won't make it go away. But it will give us our much wanted baby #2.

I'm trying to ignore my poor eating habits but I fear that if I don't do something soon I'll be putting my health and fertility at more risk than they already are. I'm too heavy and the rubbish I'm eating is playing havoc with my mood and my skin too. 5lbs is easy to get rid of, you'll do it :).

How many teachers are there on MN?! Insane
Another one here who is a whole bloody stone heavier with nothing that fits.
At least I take a tiny little bit of comfort in knowing that "it's not just me" - shit happens randomly and to quite a lot of people actually... Including a whole bunch of really lovely ones like you all! I made the mistake of having a quick read on my "due date thread" here on MN the other day and now I'm just so upset / obsessed / annoyed because everything seems so bloody hunky dory for everyone on there. It really is a very lonely place to be, all this grief.

Treacle thank you for being so sweet. You've had a rough ride since your mc - I too would have simply assumed I'd be pg again by now (I even thought I'd be pg again myself!) and so it's more than understandable that you are disappointed. I hope you do manage to feel better soon, at least physically. The psychological wounds heal at their own pace, don't they...

Totally empathise with those feelings of wanting to stay with your son blink and with the fact that you can't concentrate. I'm actually still struggling to read a newspaper article until the end. I also feel so incredibly protective of my daughter, I hate the idea of leaving her. It's all consuming and hits without a warning.

I'm off to bed in the hope that tomorrow will be a more positive day for us all xx

Hi all, just read thread, everyone is so sad at the moment and going through such shit times. Apart from Tanny woo hoo, thats amazing!!!!

We are doing the deed this month before AF but not using opk's - we are just enjoying each other and comforting each other.

I'm exhausted though and dreading going back to work on Monday after sick leave. Big hugs to everyone xx

Thanks blink, i think I was very much the same. At first I just dealt with the physical pain. Got to say I haven't felt well since the miscarriage though.

Mademoiselle I do that too. I shouldve been 24 weeks by now and I know they're all so excited.
Gah.

I am dreading work monday too. I sort of thought the holiday would make things easier. Instead I just feel worse.
Especially since this infection hasn't gone. Pretty sure it's actually a kidney infection. Won't get time to go to the doctors when I'm back at work.

Anyway, thinking positive... It will go away and ill be ready to go on a dtd fest in a few weeks.

to the impending dtd fest Treacle - if I remember well, you and your dh are actually quite the proactive type

Haha thanks mademoiselle :)
To be honest, we're not normally! I get obsessed with ttc though and DH is never one to say no :p

Af has arrived earlier than expected so going to hop back on the September bus!

I shall join you there treacle

So it appears my dh does actually understand/has heard me talking about the whole cycle thing and when I am oving/at my most fertile.... And has used this scientific info against me!! He got me drunk on one of my fave champagnes last night and then took advantage of my state! Afterwards, he said "well, you should be ovulating today/tomorrow/Monday because you started your period on the Sunday, so another few shots over the next few days and we stand a good chance of getting upduffed this month - if it's another 28 day perfect cycle". What?!?! Was astounded!! He desperately wants to get ttc properly again and give dd her sibling - so so much for waiting for a bit while we settle into our new home and me getting stuck in with the painting and decorating, rather than his interfering, mollycoddling parents

Hope everyone had a good Saturday night and enjoyed the wine/X factor combo. Must be nearly Christmas now that's back on

Hi All, you'll be pleased I'm not feeling quite as crappy today :).
Tanny, thanks for that - we've been referred to RMC. We self referred to St Mary's in Manchester because our local hospital was so appalling we walked out and they've been wonderful. They also said as soon as I get pregnant again they'll get me on those three things and then ween me off any I don't need. They were pretty surprised that the previous hospital hadn't even mentioned asprin to us. They've also sent the baby off to be tested so we may get some answers there. So there's a little hope for next time. They said as I've had 3 D and C's since March to wait until I've had one cycle at least to make sure my uterus lining is as good as it can be and booked me in for a scan in the next two weeks to check it.
Do you think I should be asking for anything else as well? I'm sure they'll do whatever - they're so helpful. They said they'll do 48 hour bloods and regular scans for the first 12 weeks too next time. Really wish I'd found this place in January!

Hello everyone,

I don't post on here very often but I lurk!

I'm so sorry that everyone is having such a tough time. This really is an awful process, and the fact that it is kept secret in real life seems to make it even more painful.

Big hugs everyone, we will get there, and thank goodness we have each other for support.

Urgh, still waiting for AF to show up. Been cramping since yesterday, I wish she'd just hurry up so I can get it over with...

Boozle that sounds like an excellent service. You are in good hands I'm sure. Really keeping everything crossed that the next one works! x

Me too Metalhead, I'm completely in limbo now despite using OPKs and promising myself that I'd just relax and see what happens. I have the worst pmt ever, poor DH.

I have one FR left, from looking at when I got positive OPKs the tww would finish around Tuesday so if I don't get AF by Wednesday then I'll test then. I just don't want to waste anymore money, I feel sick at how much I've spent on OPKs and HPTS lately. I just don't think I actually ov'd because none of my pmt symptoms are similar to the pregnancy symptoms I usually get.

Obviously AF will show up tomorrow on my first day back at work, roughly about half way through the first important meeting that I'm in. It will also be stupidly heavy and painful. Because that's just how I roll these days!

"Boozle* that sounds great indeed! I'm really pleased for you that you have found them eventually.
And glad to hear you are having a better day so far.

Have a good Sunday everyone, or as good as can be

Urg i so shouldn't keep testing to check my lines still dark. I swear it's a bit paler today. Plus I'm cramping a bit, we finally dtd this morning for the first time since we found out so I'm sure the cramping is that. Doesn't stop me panicking though.