TTC after a MC (I'm really rubbish at thread titles sorry)

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

[SaltySeaBird]

Such a sad thread with so many going through so much pain but lovely to read some positive too.

I was back at the GP today as no sign of my cycle returning after my ERPC - it was almost 9 weeks ago now. My GP just said it can take 12 weeks to get back to normal and not to worry.

It puts me off having an ERPC as my cycle was back within 38 days when I had it medically managed.

I'm just so frustrated with waiting.

[Tassel]

All the fours so sorry. Often feels the whole world collides against you when you are going through miscarriage.

Tang can I ask purely selfishly if you did anything differently ??

[Treaclepie19]

Congrats Tanny :)

Another one here who just wants to cry. Had a text off someone I work with asking if I'd bought new tablecloths and a sheet for the writing table as "we did talk about it before the holiday".
She makes me feel so fucking incapable of anything. I'm dreading going back to work and annoyed that I'm not pregnant. Gah :(

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Saw this article in the Daily Fail and wanted to jump for joy - she basically writes what has been going through my head for the last few months....


www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2736074/Why-shatter-pregnancy-taboo-We-told-pregnancies-secret-12-weeks-But-just-means-no-one-shares-pain-goes-wrong.html

[Marmaladecat1]

allfours I am so so sorry for your loss and for a really shitty day. I worked throughout my last miscarriage. It was ducking hideous.

treacle going back to work is going to horrible here too without annoying colleagues! Ignore as best you can.

dulcet I'm ok, just had a moment of not knowing what to do because I could not just cry there and then.

why is there a tardis?

[Marmaladecat1]

Congratulations tanny so lovely to hear good news!

[Boozle80]

Can I bob my stats on please?
Boozle: 34, TTC #2 since Sep '13, DD 4 years10 m, 3 mc, I natural Dec '13 @ 6 wks, 2 MMC, 12 and 10 weeks, March '14 and August '14 - both ERPC.

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

There's a to keep me happy! Anyway, time to get on with life today. Off to Catterick to do a Paras training run - why? That's a good question, I do get a shiny medal, a finishers t-shirt AND two days in Richmond with hubby - at about the right time of the month! (It's a miracle).
Off to make some Rocky Road pancakes from the marvellous The Little Pancake company. And send him off to the gym so I can pack and finish cleaning. Here's hoping for a race finish and some opportunities to DTD.

[Marmaladecat1]

boozle sending you hugs
donna sounds a brilliant wkend you enjoy it!

Why does the bleeding stop then re start? What kind of fresh hell is this?

[knittedmittens]

Morning. Hoping for some advice. In the midst of a natural mc (6 weeks, bleeding started Sunday morning). Bleeding has now pretty much stopped and the hope is that HCG will be 0 when I have a blood test on Thurs.

We've decided not to wait for AF before trying again, but try to be relaxed about it.

Did anyone use OPKs in a similar situation? If so, how soon after bleeding stopped did you start? I usually get pretty clear ovulation symptoms so I'm not sure if it's worth the bother? Will I just go through loads because I won't be able to predict when it will be happen?

Sorry, that's a lot of ???!

Thanks in advance.

[knittedmittens]

Marmalade The stop - starting drove me nuts too. Hope followed by crap again. Sorry you're going through it.

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Doctor - I hope you have a lovely weekend. Good luck on the run!

Knitted - I don't think you can really confidently rely on OPKs during the wtf cycle. Your body will throw up all kinds of hormones. My advice would be to just start DTD lots and hope for the best. Some people ovulate, some don't. So by charting it could just make things more stressful.

[BlinkAndMiss]

knittedmittens I'm currently in the first cycle after my mc, lovingly known as the wtf cycle as that's what we spend our time thinking the whole way through! I've used OPKs this cycle as we wanted to start straight away but I'm not sure that I'd advise using them. I've ended up a lot more stressed out that I would have, resulting in a meltdown yesterday caused by a bfn (the straw which broke the camels back tbh).

I thought they were a good idea because my cycles have usually been regular, so I started them the day after the bleeding stopped. I was using the clearblue dual hormone test which you must use FMU for. I got a flashing smiley on the second day and then this continued for a week - the flashing smiley is supposed to be for about 2 days, so this was the start of the confusion. During that week I also bought one of the normal clearblue OPKs with the smiley face which appears when it detects the LH surge. I did these on the afternoon. I had 2 days of flashing smileys and positive OPKs in the afternoon, and then my am test showed a solid smiley and my pm was negative for 3 days - they were completely comtradicting each other.

After that week I thought it was over, so I stopped spending a fortune on sticks - very, very expensive if you don't ov within the usual timescale. It does tell you what day to start testing according to the length of your cycle so I suppose you could do that. However, you can't trust that your body will ov on it's usual time because in wtf anything goes! I started to get ewcm and stronger of cramps about a week after I stopped testing - which made no sense at all. So while I assume I'm in my 2ww I could,have actually only ov'd last week.

I said at the time that I wouldn't advise anyone to use OPKs during wtf, but it totally depends on how much you get stressed out. I'm still waiting AF or BFP but I've tested already and got bfn. I don't know if it's early or negative. The other thing to bear in mind is that OPKs detect the surge, but not ovulation, you can have more than one surge but usually only ov once, so you can't know which time it actually was. I'd temp tbh, it think it's more reliable.

Good luck, I don't mean to sound so negative but I started out very relaxed and now I'm in bits. I know others have had similar, the only positive was that I had something to focus on rather than being sad.

[knittedmittens]

Thanks Blink I really appreciate your advice and honesty. Sorry you've had a rough month of it. I've just read that traces of HCG can make OPKS look positive so that might explain why you had positives at the start?

I think you're right about it stressing me out though, will just have to try my best to 'go with the flow' - def not my usual way of doing things.

Thanks again and good luck.

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

Off in an hour. Won't be able to access the page while I'm away - take care everyone.

[knittedmittens]

Have fun Donna!

[DulcetMoans]

Just to echo blink, I am not sure how much use opks would've in the WTF cycle. I didn't really do it, just on and off, but I was still testing positive pregnancy tests for 3 weeks after so any opks I did were positive too. Just didn't tell me anything.

On a normal cycle though I sometimes struggle with those duel hormone ones - can easily have a week of flashing smilies. Once it was about 10 days! Doesn't help narrow anything down.

Not sure that helps knit as it doesn't tell you what's going on but not sure opks would anyway!

[Metalhead]

tanny that's lovely news, I'm thrilled for you! Hope the rest of your pregnancy remains uneventful.

Sorry about your car allthe, that's really not what you need on top of everything else.

My temp has dropped right down today so just waiting for the witch to show her evil face. At least this will have been one of my shorter cycles, so we can try again sooner...

[MademoiselleG]

Blink, thank you for your detailed explanation of the WTF cycle - it now all makes sense, in the sense that it really doesn't! I thought I ov 2 weeks ago (solid smiley and ov pains) and would be in the 2ww but had similar pains again last week followed by pink cm, which I tried not to read as implantation bleed/pains (if they are a real thing?), but pg tests don't lie and it's def a bfn.

I should be going back to school 22w pg next week and going on mat leave at the start of December. I was already quite visibly pg (15 weeks) before the Summer holidays so people will no doubt ask questions, at the very least behind my back. Which is fine in a way; all I want to talk about is our baby! I should be sitting in that first day 'welcome back' meeting feeling my baby kick and smiling to myself and thinking that I don't really care because I'm about to go on maternity leave. It doesn't help that dd's pregnancy was at the exact same time 3 yrs ago, they shared a due date down to the actual day, so I know exactly, 100% what sensations I should be having and the time scale, because I've already had it. Her birthday will forever be tainted by sadness and grief. For me at least - don't think dh even registers.

And instead, I'm not even pregnant. Or onto normal cycles at the very least.

I've just made myself sob again just writing this. It fucking hurts. It's so unfair. I miss baby G so, so much.

(((((Hugs)))))) to you all. We will get there. I pray and hope that we will.

[Marmaladecat1]

Hcg levels dropping so I guess that's it.
I'm out. Bleeding still isn't very heavy so I don't know what happens next. Awaiting a phone call

[knittedmittens]

Thank you EnglishGirlsReturned (somehow missed your post earlier, sorry) and Dulcet

I know you're both right, I think I'm just in that 'desperate to make it all better again' place. Will try and just enjoy being together for this cycle.

Hugs to you Mademoiselle and Marmalade

[DulcetMoans]

Sorry to hear that marmalade, hope you get a call soon so you know what to do.

[Boozle80]

Miscarriage is fucking shit isn't it? Stupid fucking body, why do all my babies keep dieing. Feel horribly miserable, I was meant to be on mat leave almost twice over now instead I know I'm definitely not going to be cuddling my precious baby in the next academic year. And I've just had to spend £400 on clothes I can do up because I can only fit into mat clothes or tracky bottoms for work. It's rubbish.

[Boozle80]

Sorry, I'm being horribly self indulgent. Hope you're all doing ok and the hospital get back to you super soon Marmalade.
MademoiselleG I know exactly what you mean, we shouldn't be at school, we should be rubbing bio-oil into our bumps and ignoring all targets for the year because we won't be there anyway.
Treacle, get a big bit of backing paper and get the kids to decorate it as a table cloth. Then tell the other teacher to do one and buy them herself if they're that important to her. Some things are way more important than work - I think it's telling that the majority of us on here are teachers!
Sorry I'm being a miserable cow - promise I'll return to my tree loving hippy ways soon, without the smallest hint of this all consuming bitterness that's hitting me at the mo!