Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

Hi ladies, just wondering if I'd be able to join you lovely people? We are ttc #2 after I mmc'd. It was two weeks ago now, had light spotting at 11+5 but found out baby had died at 8+6. Now the complete, earth shattering devestation has eased a little, I'm just desperate to be pregnant again. Whilst DP wants us to try again and have another baby, I don't really think he gets the desperation that I (my body?!) have to just be pregnant again. Does anybody else feel this?

Have added to the roll call

TCC

baublelugs82, 29, married. TTC for 10 months and BFP on 28th Oct, MC'd on 2nd December. DH is 29 also but 30 in 3 weeks. Not other DC, only pets.

Poppyjen , 30, TTC for 10 months, MC in May 2011, Chemical pg in August and November 2011. Currently on Metformin for PCOS and due to start Clomid next cycle. One DS (20 months)

MsEltoeNWhine, 27. #1 - TTC for 17 months, MMC at 14 weeks. #2 didn't TTC - DD age 5. #3 - TTC 2 months, induced MC at 17 weeks, awaiting post mortem results. TTC #4 for 2 cycles.

leedy, 39. #1 - TTC for 10 months - DS aged nearly 2. #2 - got pregnant straight away, MMC at 12 weeks. Just started TTC again.

Welliesandpyjamas, 36 (really?! Already?!). Have two gorgeous boys. TTC #3. Recently missed miscarried and on cycle number 2.

JaffaSnaffle, 31, DD nearly 2, #2, got pregnant straight away, MMC at 17 weeks in August. Had break from TTC, just started again.

Farfallarocks, 31, TTC#1 for 10 months, MC at 5/6 weeks in June, chemical pregnancy in September. Took a break from TTC whilst having some tests. Diagnosed with impaired impaired fibrinolytic response and PCOS which means I will need heparin in next pregnancy. Now actively TTC again.

Newtonupontheheath, 27, #1 DS 14mo, BFP 5th Oct (day before DS's first birthday) mmc at 11 weeks in November, v actively TTC again

BFPs

Manda, 38 3DC aged 16yrs to 20mths, DS3 mmc around 14weeks, induction of labour at 16+5. 5 whole cycles before they settled down/lp returned to normal, BFP Sept 6th, currently 17+3 EDD 16th May.

BlueCrane, 31 No DC, MC in May - MMC found at 12w scan after no sign anything was wrong until then so had ERPC 9th June. BFP 18th Sept, currently 15+4 EDD 29th May and trying to stay calm!

PieMistress, 39 . 1DS aged 23 months. M/C in May at 7 weeks. BFP 20th Oct. Currently 10+5w, EDD 30 June. AM BRICKING IT!

bauble I think that that BFN is the worst one, ime. But things can get better from here....

bauble well done for testing and I know the bfn is so so tough to see but at least it means your body is getting back to normal again and you can start with ttc again. I found it quite final not to see a line and though I had wanted to in order to get to that point it was still v hard to see...take it easy

Welcome newton so sorry you find yourself here but please make yourself comfy on the sofas, this is a good place to be for understanding and advice...or just a listening ear.

Hello Newton , really sorry to hear about your loss. I completely and totally remember that desperate feeling soon after mc. I can remember every fibre of me just wanting to be pregnant again, like an obsession, that was part of my mind and body. Never known anything like it. It is hard to deal with because it is so muddled up with grief. Sending you a big hug.

Bauble , agree wholeheartedly with Blue, it is the finality of something that you did not want to end, staring up at you, despite you knowing it is important to help you try again. Big hugs to you too.

Baby so sorry about your grandad being poorly. I am thinking about you and your family. And hugs for you too.

Blue, so relieved at your relief! Fab news that it was something so lighthearted and treatable.

Martha and Wellies, I am always struggling with those feelings, and I often feel worse because I feel guilty for :( and . The last time I counted, I know 11 pregnant women in RL, and there are times when I really really struggle to hold it together. My DD is nearly 2, so lots of people I know are having their 2nd DC, pg ladies everywhere.

I am feeling fed up, had a grim day, with not enough sleep for me, followed with toddler with exploding nappy out in public. Of course, I had spare trousers for her but not for me, 20 min drive home with wet smelly leg, had to have baths, soaking all the clothes... Gah! Just want to get on with Christmas stuff, but no, I have been cleaning up poo. And on that note, I should be off to bed. Tomorrow is another day!

Morning all

baubles the mantra on here is Positive Mental Attitude - PMA all the way. I remember the BFN all too well and felt bittersweet, but you will get to a point where you think 'right thats it' and you can get on with TTC. Good luck and see it as the beginning of a new journey.

Welcome newton but sorry you have found us in the circumstances. I had a similar experience in March in that i started bleeding at 10 weeks and the baby had died at 8 weeks. I then had a CP in August which was actually tougher to deal with than the first one... but yes it is a perfectly normal reaction to just want to be PG again, i felt it both times.

jaffa 11 pregnant women god yes that would finish-me off stress me out a bit. Two of my v good friends who had DS's the same time as me have just had their second DC. And of course my lovely friend now PG.

Anyway, its chriiiiiiiiiiiiiissstmaaaaaaaaaasss so lets get all festive

Oj jaffa 11!!!

I know the feeling though, in my office of 30 people, 6 are pregnant or wives are pregnant and 2 on maternity leave. A good 4 or 5 have had a baby in the past 18 months. It is pretty soul destroying but remember, you don;t want their baby, you want yours.

bauble I know that first BFN is really hard to see and be prepared that the first time you dtd might seem a little odd/weird. I personally found it a bit emotional and upsetting but then we got back into the swing of things!

newton so sorry you are joining us here but you are in the right place for some great support.

pebs I hope you have a truly wondeful holiday, you really deserve it!

Am posting from my phone so cannot see what others have posted to thank individuals but Thanks for the warm welcome working from home today but not getting much done with ds racing around the place! We've already had one bumped head this morning to add to the egg he's got from falling into/against the car yesterday. Ho-hum, I'll just have to work once he's in bed tonight (with a glass of wine!)

I've just re-read my original post and realised its actually been 3 weeks...I think I've blocked out that first week! Can totally related to the emotions when dtd for the first time. I cried the first couple of times, think it freaked dp out a bit as had been fine until that point.

I know my cycle will be up the wall at the moment, but I think I may have ovulated late last week (or it could have been my imagination) so might crack open the cheapie a tests in a couple of weeks if AF doesn't arrive, as wont know if I'm late or not I suppose.

Feeling rather Christmassy and ever so slightly positive (in keeping with the thread )

oh god yes farfall i remember the first time we DTD after the MC, i was in floods of tears, poor DH! But it did get better over time.

I am indeed the Clapham Commoner. That is good that your system might be firing up again so quickly.
I think its fine to take the preggo vits until you finish them.

I still have my pregnacare vits in the kitchen cupboard and it was a bit depressing going back to the pre-conception ones I must admit :(

Hi Peeps,

I don't think it's been that long since I posted but I can't keep up !

I also cried after we first DTD post m/c. It's so emotional isn't it :(

I've got my 12w scan on Monday and am petrified. Although I saw a heartbeat at 9w I know that doesn't mean anything and it's totally possible that things could have gone wrong inbetween now and then. My next fear is that I'll get a high risk nuchal result (likely as i'm 39). Can anybody advise what other soft markers they should be looking out for ie/ nasal bone etc?

I can't remember if I said but I had bumped into a colleague and his wife in the EPU who had also just had a miscarriage (this was back in June). He came to see me yesterday to say they'd just had a 12w scan! I am sooooo happy for them, and if all goes well with my pregnancy then we will be due at the same time (head still buried firmly in the sand though that I might actually have a baby to take home at the end of this).

bauble I think the conception vits have higher B vits in them that the pregnancy ones but not sure what else? I'm 11w and still taking conception vits and too scared to change until out of 1st tri (how silly does that sound!)

newton welcome! sorry you have to find yourself here but you won't find a more lovely group of ladies to talk with. I would have been totally lost without this thread!

Two of my close friends are due in January. I am happy for them, yes of course but one of them is constantly moaning about how fat/tired etc she is which is somewhat vexing!

jaffa how old is your DD? Sounds like there are a few of us with DDs in a similar age group. DS will be 2 on Christmas Day (poor toot!)

Waves to baby, blue, IQ, manda, martha, far and anybody else i've missed. Sorry I didn't manage to name check everybody but work is manic at the moment. Just tucking into my free graze box which arrived today :):)

Oh pie, will be thinking of you on Monday!!!
I think once you have seen a heartbeat your risk of MC goes down significantly so focus on that :)

I know about pregnant people. I find that hard too. I work with pregnant women and babies, and know at least 8 people personally who are expecting or TTCing naively (if you know what I mean)

The thing I find really hard actually is being overtaken. People who were two months behind me are having 20 week scans now and 'finding out the sex', and people who were due at the same time (March) are having 4D scans to 'meet their baby'.

I feel very cross that I have to find out the sex by waiting for my post mortem results - which still haven't come - and I've already met my baby. We didn't find out when the baby was born because we didn't want to poke him around too much he was too fragile. I call him a him at the moment.

There's a lovely advert for 4D scans at the side of the road near where I live. I have to see it every day. It says 'Why not... meet your baby?'

I want to hit it with my car

pie hang in there, will be thinking of you on Monday!! I think post MC all visits, scan and checks just make you nervous...we had a good scan at 8 and 12 weeks this time but even the thought of my 16w MW app tomorrow is making me v v nervous and stressed out...unfortunately I think it's just one of those things and we just need to keep taking mini steps and keeping sane (somehow)!!

MsEltoe I would've found driving past one of those adverts v v difficult...in fact I still might as the thought of having a 4D at the moment rather freaks me out!! And yes to the overtaking bit, a colleague at work who was due the same week I would've been had her DD last week, my secretary who would've been 8 weeks behind me is finishing work at the end of next week etc etc. The whole thing is just horribly tough and seems so very unfair.

newton to Ov pains and to feeling festive!

Right...back to work...

Oh mseltoe you poor lamb, I totally see why that is so tough. Huge hugs.

I am going to see a friend next week an hour away because she is so huge she can't travel (we were meant to meet up in London) and is moaning about her pregnancy all the time. She and I had the exact same due date, and she knows about what happened to me and all I can think is that I would do anything to be in her position and I will never, ever moan about anything preggo related :(
In fact I am wondering if its a good idea going to see her, I have not seen her with a huge bump yet and I am worried I am just going to break down when I see her :( :(

yep the overtaking thing pisses me off too. my friend who announced her pregnancy about a month after my first MC has just had her DS, and she is so frickin smug at the best of times (although to be fair she has been sensitive about this).

feeling right pissed off about it all today actually!

i'm baaackkkk!

farfall i am not sure either, if she is the 'smug/moany' type it would drive me round the bend. if you do go then you could come up with a tactful comeback - i am not sure - something like, 'you are blessed to be in that situation' etc

not sure - i am feeling a bit bitter today so i would prob tell her straight!!!

TBH farfall your quote says it all:

all I can think is that I would do anything to be in her position and I will never, ever moan about anything preggo related

Welcome newton! and oh, I totally get the need to be pregnant again.

It's funny, now that my WTF cycle is over I do want to try again but the sort of desperation seems to have diminished somewhat. It probably "helps" that I've been really sick with chest infections etc and the voice of reason is telling me that waiting til I'm totally, utterly better is probably not a bad thing. So if things don't happen this month then I'm actually kind of ok with that. Of course this means I'll probably have conniptions if I'm not immediately pregnant next month...

conniptions leedy! It's been a while since I heard/read that word! Love it.

Sorry I just had a little Whine. It's all in the name you know.

I am hating the who else hates being pregnant thread that's bopping around at the moment. I have been so close to saying yeah I hate being pregnant too but know how much worse it gets when you have to do it for no reward? Yeah shush.

But of course I won't.

Pie will be thinking about you on Monday. What time is your appointment? And DD is 2 in Feb. Very close in age to your little one.

Grrr to the lack of sensitivity around. I don't think it is really possible to understand the sadness of miscarriage until you have been through it, but I wish people would be a bit more thoughtful. My favourite foot in mouth moment from pregnant friend (who knew what I had been through), 6 weeks after mc, attempted start up a debate about how being pregnant had made her more pro-abortion. I just kept thinking, this is not a topic I want to discuss right now, and not with you!

I am having an attack of the flaps at the moment. Just coming to the end of AF, nearly time to TTC in earnest. Feel like I am as ready as I will ever be, but actually shit scared. I'm scared of TWW, getting -ive test, and I am also scared of being pg. I think when I do get pg, I will be bricking it until I get past my 16 week scan, and 4 months is a long time.