Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

Blue i am so sorry to hear of your family friend it is tough when you cant be there too (i know as i was in France when my Dear Grandad died).

I am having a day too, it would be Grandad's 78th birthday today (he was a young grandad - my nana's second DH and toyboy ) its the first milestone.

Anyway, on a cheery note here is my addition to the roll call: oh and BTW - i think that i didnt know that pie was PG as i have worked out i was 'on a break' when you would have got your BFP - so woo hoo Pie!!!

TCC

baublelugs82, 29, married. TTC for 10 months and BFP on 28th Oct, MC'd on 2nd December. DH is 29 also but 30 in 3 weeks. Not other DC, only pets.

Poppyjen , 30, TTC for 10 months, MC in May 2011, Chemical pg in August and November 2011. Currently on Metformin for PCOS and due to start Clomid next cycle. One DS (20 months)

MsEltoeNWhine, 27. #1 - TTC for 17 months, MMC at 14 weeks. #2 didn't TTC - DD age 5. #3 - TTC 2 months, induced MC at 17 weeks, awaiting post mortem results. TTC #4 for 2 cycles.

leedy, 39. #1 - TTC for 10 months - DS aged nearly 2. #2 - got pregnant straight away, MMC at 12 weeks. Just started TTC again.

Welliesandpyjamas, 36 (really?! Already?!). Have two gorgeous boys. TTC #3. Recently missed miscarried and on cycle number 2.

JaffaSnaffle, 31, DD nearly 2, #2, got pregnant straight away, MMC at 17 weeks in August. Had break from TTC, just started again.

Farfallarocks, 31, TTC#1 for 10 months, MC at 5/6 weeks in June, chemical pregnancy in September. Took a break from TTC whilst having some tests. Diagnosed with impaired impaired fibrinolytic response and PCOS which means I will need heparin in next pregnancy. Now actively TTC again.

MarthasHarbour; 38 39 in January TTC for 12 months, BFP in Feb 11, MC at 10 weeks in March 11. CP on 1 August and still trying, but have the most beautiful DS age 2 (B: June 2009)

BFPs

Manda, 38 3DC aged 16yrs to 20mths, DS3 mmc around 14weeks, induction of labour at 16+5. 5 whole cycles before they settled down/lp returned to normal, BFP Sept 6th, currently 17+3 EDD 16th May.

BlueCrane, 31 No DC, MC in May - MMC found at 12w scan after no sign anything was wrong until then so had ERPC 9th June. BFP 18th Sept, currently 15+4 EDD 29th May and trying to stay calm!

PieMistress, 39 . 1DS aged 23 months. M/C in May at 7 weeks. BFP 20th Oct. Currently 10+5w, EDD 30 June. AM BRICKING IT!

I was obviously having a severe brain fart baby brain moment when I added the sub-categories... For some bizarre reason, you guys are TCC - Trying to Call Cats? Topiary Conifer Classes?

Anyway, you all agree with my mistake me as it keeps getting copy/pasted so I MUST correct it:

TTC

baublelugs82, 29, married. TTC for 10 months and BFP on 28th Oct, MC'd on 2nd December. DH is 29 also but 30 in 3 weeks. Not other DC, only pets.

Poppyjen , 30, TTC for 10 months, MC in May 2011, Chemical pg in August and November 2011. Currently on Metformin for PCOS and due to start Clomid next cycle. One DS (20 months)

MsEltoeNWhine, 27. #1 - TTC for 17 months, MMC at 14 weeks. #2 didn't TTC - DD age 5. #3 - TTC 2 months, induced MC at 17 weeks, awaiting post mortem results. TTC #4 for 2 cycles.

leedy, 39. #1 - TTC for 10 months - DS aged nearly 2. #2 - got pregnant straight away, MMC at 12 weeks. Just started TTC again.

Welliesandpyjamas, 36 (really?! Already?!). Have two gorgeous boys. TTC #3. Recently missed miscarried and on cycle number 2.

JaffaSnaffle, 31, DD nearly 2, #2, got pregnant straight away, MMC at 17 weeks in August. Had break from TTC, just started again.

Farfallarocks, 31, TTC#1 for 10 months, MC at 5/6 weeks in June, chemical pregnancy in September. Took a break from TTC whilst having some tests. Diagnosed with impaired impaired fibrinolytic response and PCOS which means I will need heparin in next pregnancy. Now actively TTC again.

MarthasHarbour; 38 39 in January TTC for 12 months, BFP in Feb 11, MC at 10 weeks in March 11. CP on 1 August and still trying, but have the most beautiful DS age 2 (B: June 2009)

BFPs

Manda, 38 3DC aged 16yrs to 20mths, DS3 mmc around 14weeks, induction of labour at 16+5. 5 whole cycles before they settled down/lp returned to normal, BFP Sept 6th, currently 17+3 EDD 16th May.

BlueCrane, 31 No DC, MC in May - MMC found at 12w scan after no sign anything was wrong until then so had ERPC 9th June. BFP 18th Sept, currently 15+4 EDD 29th May and trying to stay calm!

PieMistress, 39 . 1DS aged 23 months. M/C in May at 7 weeks. BFP 20th Oct. Currently 10+5w, EDD 30 June. AM BRICKING IT!

Yes BlueCrane I have to go back to work in Sept 2013. Which of course seems so long away but really isn't. I was supposed to have my baby in March 2012 and he was supposed to be 18 months by the time I had to go back.

Of course he didn't make it so back to TTC-ing. If I'd been pregnant this month and it had made it I'd have had an August 2012 baby who would have been 12-13 months by the time I have to go back. Every month narrows the time I'll have at home with any baby who comes and if I don't conceive in the next 5-6 months I'll have to give up TTCing completely as there's no way I'm prepared to leave a baby under 6 months and I must, must, must, go back to work, I would be missing a HUGE opportunity if I didn't and letting a lot of people down. If I don't manage a live baby before Feb 2013 I'll have to put off TTC for another two years at least. I'm lucky, I'm 27 now, I'll be 32 then even if it doesn't work out and we have to put it off BUT DD will be 10 by then. I want her to have a sibling so badly :(

Morning all - well the day has finally come - I'm going back to work.......not really sure how to feel about it all but I do want to go back and having spoken to my boss yesterday it was clear that they have realised they need to support me or really won't get anything useful out of me. So that's a plus at least, another plus is that I don't have many days to go until Xmas so I'm just hoping my body can hold out until the holidays!!!

Cant name check (my goodness you lot chat a lot) so will have to do an en masse catch up as I should technically be getting myself ready for work!!

Sorry to all that the dreaded AF managed to get but please remember over the Xmas break that you are also drinking for the bumps on the thread so don't feel that you have to hold back!!!

blue so sorry about your family friend passing away - it is a horrible time of year to lose someone and I hope that family blue are holding up ok!! Big hugs and kisses from casa IQ. xxx Also poor you with your current pain problems - I truly sympathise in all ways.

Adding myself to the roll call:

TTC

baublelugs82, 29, married. TTC for 10 months and BFP on 28th Oct, MC'd on 2nd December. DH is 29 also but 30 in 3 weeks. Not other DC, only pets.

Poppyjen , 30, TTC for 10 months, MC in May 2011, Chemical pg in August and November 2011. Currently on Metformin for PCOS and due to start Clomid next cycle. One DS (20 months)

MsEltoeNWhine, 27. #1 - TTC for 17 months, MMC at 14 weeks. #2 didn't TTC - DD age 5. #3 - TTC 2 months, induced MC at 17 weeks, awaiting post mortem results. TTC #4 for 2 cycles.

leedy, 39. #1 - TTC for 10 months - DS aged nearly 2. #2 - got pregnant straight away, MMC at 12 weeks. Just started TTC again.

Welliesandpyjamas, 36 (really?! Already?!). Have two gorgeous boys. TTC #3. Recently missed miscarried and on cycle number 2.

JaffaSnaffle, 31, DD nearly 2, #2, got pregnant straight away, MMC at 17 weeks in August. Had break from TTC, just started again.

Farfallarocks, 31, TTC#1 for 10 months, MC at 5/6 weeks in June, chemical pregnancy in September. Took a break from TTC whilst having some tests. Diagnosed with impaired impaired fibrinolytic response and PCOS which means I will need heparin in next pregnancy. Now actively TTC again.

MarthasHarbour; 38 39 in January TTC for 12 months, BFP in Feb 11, MC at 10 weeks in March 11. CP on 1 August and still trying, but have the most beautiful DS age 2 (B: June 2009)

BFPs

Manda, 38 3DC aged 16yrs to 20mths, DS3 mmc around 14weeks, induction of labour at 16+5. 5 whole cycles before they settled down/lp returned to normal, BFP Sept 6th, currently 17+3 EDD 16th May.

BlueCrane, 31 No DC, MC in May - MMC found at 12w scan after no sign anything was wrong until then so had ERPC 9th June. BFP 18th Sept, currently 15+4 EDD 29th May and trying to stay calm!

PieMistress, 39 . 1DS aged 23 months. M/C in May at 7 weeks. BFP 20th Oct. Currently 10+5w, EDD 30 June. AM BRICKING IT!

InsomniaQueen, 27 No DC, MC June 2011 at 5 and a half weeks, BFP July 2011 because of too much wine and not following the Dr's instructions. Currently 26+2, EDD 18th March and hanging onto my sanity by a thread!!!

Ok I really must get myself sorted or I'm going to be late......love to all and will catch up properly when I'm at work I have a few minutes!!

Xxxx

Good luck today IQ - hope they have realised they have to look after you

Hi all, will add myself to the roll call in a sec.
I have had some shite news, my grandad has had a stroke and it's looking grim. He is due to turn 90 on Boxing Day and was in a rehanb centre doing physio as he slipped 5 weeks ago and fractured his hip. He was due to come home this week but the staff found him on Friday collapsed. He has been unconscious, to varying degrees, in the HDU since.
I also have my suspicions about how it happened in the first place - he has had blood clots in the past and, due to this, takes warfarin (sp?) but he hasn't been given it to take since he was in the rehab place. So, he has had a stroke. The doc dismissively said to my mother that it was due to 'recurrent falls' and they didn't want him to 'bleed to death' if he fell again but this sounds like bullshit as there is no documentation of this anywhere and it is the first we heard. Also, he has fallen twice in two and a half years, which doesn't say 'recurrent' to me. I think it was forgotten and they are now covering their arses.
All very upsetting really, hence I have not been around much.

Anyway, below I have added myself to the roll call...

TTC

baublelugs82, 29, married. TTC for 10 months and BFP on 28th Oct, MC'd on 2nd December. DH is 29 also but 30 in 3 weeks. Not other DC, only pets.

Poppyjen , 30, TTC for 10 months, MC in May 2011, Chemical pg in August and November 2011. Currently on Metformin for PCOS and due to start Clomid next cycle. One DS (20 months)

MsEltoeNWhine, 27. #1 - TTC for 17 months, MMC at 14 weeks. #2 didn't TTC - DD age 5. #3 - TTC 2 months, induced MC at 17 weeks, awaiting post mortem results. TTC #4 for 2 cycles.

leedy, 39. #1 - TTC for 10 months - DS aged nearly 2. #2 - got pregnant straight away, MMC at 12 weeks. Just started TTC again.

Welliesandpyjamas, 36 (really?! Already?!). Have two gorgeous boys. TTC #3. Recently missed miscarried and on cycle number 2.

JaffaSnaffle, 31, DD nearly 2, #2, got pregnant straight away, MMC at 17 weeks in August. Had break from TTC, just started again.

Farfallarocks, 31, TTC#1 for 10 months, MC at 5/6 weeks in June, chemical pregnancy in September. Took a break from TTC whilst having some tests. Diagnosed with impaired impaired fibrinolytic response and PCOS which means I will need heparin in next pregnancy. Now actively TTC again.

MarthasHarbour; 38 39 in January TTC for 12 months, BFP in Feb 11, MC at 10 weeks in March 11. CP on 1 August and still trying, but have the most beautiful DS age 2 (B: June 2009)

BFPs

Manda, 38 3DC aged 16yrs to 20mths, DS3 mmc around 14weeks, induction of labour at 16+5. 5 whole cycles before they settled down/lp returned to normal, BFP Sept 6th, currently 17+3 EDD 16th May.

BlueCrane, 31 No DC, MC in May - MMC found at 12w scan after no sign anything was wrong until then so had ERPC 9th June. BFP 18th Sept, currently 15+4 EDD 29th May and trying to stay calm!

PieMistress, 39 . 1DS aged 23 months. M/C in May at 7 weeks. BFP 20th Oct. Currently 10+5w, EDD 30 June. AM BRICKING IT!

InsomniaQueen, 27 No DC, MC June 2011 at 5 and a half weeks, BFP July 2011 because of too much wine and not following the Dr's instructions. grin Currently 26+2, EDD 18th March and hanging onto my sanity by a thread!!!

Babysaurus, 37, no DC, MC July 13th at 13 weeks (but the embryo stopped developing at 5/6 weeks). Now 13+4, EDD 15th June.

baby so sorry to hear your grandad is poorly, i am thinking of you when you feel ready may i direct you to this organisation it is basically their job to sort out care organisations who are not doing their job. not the right time at the moment i realise but something to keep for when you are all ready to kick-up a fuss make your feelings known

good luck today IQ no doubt we will hear lots from you today

well i am feeling a little bittersweet we got a xmas card from some really good friends last night and they announced their PG in the card. We are so happy for them but i did feel a little when i saw it. DH told me off for feeling but i have to admit it on the thread as you all know where i am coming from. I dont think they have been TTC for long as she told me in March that they were going to start in the summer. Thing is she has had a shite year like me and so she truly deserves this good news. I. Just. Wish. It. Was. Me.

Rant over!

Morning all...well, I have a new friend... Lactulose worked absolute wonders on what has transpired to be extreme pain caused by trapped wind from my constipation of all things! Yes, the bedroom did resemble the guts of a nuclear reactor when DH came to bed (felt quite sorry for him it smelt soooo bad, but the relief I was feeling from the release of wind and pain going meant I didn't feel too sorry ) Far TMI I know but oh, the relief this morning of a) not being in so much pain and b) actually having had some sleep and feeling more awake I still have some pain in my left hip and lower back but much much better than it was!!

IQ really hope today goes well and that your bosses have well and truly learnt their lesson re. taking car of you!

baby so sorry to hear about your Grandad, that is v v tough. What's the prognosis for his health and care now?

marthas I must confess to having written our news in a few Christmas cards this year but they are all to either singles (definitely not TTC) or are older and have already had all of their DC already so really hoping I've not caused any upset!! Am quite pleased that I have still managed to keep it off facebook mind you. I can so imagine it feeling like a kick in the teeth for you though

dont worry blue i wasnt annoyed that the announcement was in the card, it would have thrown me which ever way she said it, it just made me bloody

anyway - must get off MN and do some work

Oh baby I am really sorry to hear that, its hard enough when GPs are ill let alone if you think the situation has been made worse by neglect. You poor thing, I hope it gets resolved and you manage to take of yourself in the meantime.

martha we all totally understand how you are feeling. My DH also does not understand why I get so upset at other people's preggo announcements. Its not that I am not happy for them, it just acts as a reminder to our painful situation, usually when I have just got my period or had a chemical or something grim like that. I actually had a couple of sessions of counselling after my first MC as I was concerned about the intense anger I felt about friends getting pregnant. He said something really helpful which was that its nothing to do with you being a bitter or horrible person, its purely a reactiona bit like post traumatic stress, its a reminder of the pain you are in. So that really helped me make sense of it but I don't expect DH to understand it particularly.

blue I am chortling away at my desk thinking of your nuclear reactor bathroom but pleased that has done the trick!!!

iq best of luck at work today, take care of yourself!!

bauble how are you getting on? Are you feeling any better, thinking of you lots

farfallarocks thank you for that, i shall try to remember that as a mantra

What's that smell? My sinuses are still jammed with gunk, and yet...

blue! Totally happy the pain was (mostly) as innocuous as noxious gas!

baby Your poor grandad. My grandad is 88, just moved into sheltered accommodation last week after coping this long on his own (with home help, and family popping in). I'm hoping the relief we feel that for someone it's their job to make sure he's ok doesn't end similarly (I know there are many angels in the care profession but sadly many who are not). Hoping your Grandad surprises everyone and is health rallies.

martha We all know it's a perfectly normal response - and that you don't truly mean it in a nasty way.

baby so sorry to hear about your grandad. There's nothing I can add to make it easier. Just wanted to know how you feel. I miss all my grandparents so much, especially this time of year. Spend lots and lots of time with him now,as they often say that it helps those in comas (and it will help you in the long term hopefully).

martha I completely understand. Only this morning I bumped in to the mum of my ds's friend at drop off time (the one who has the same due date as my lost baby, I know I've mentioned it before on here) and she looks quite pregant indeed now, making me feel all , and I overheard her talking about feeling the baby move the other night at a party....maaaaaaaaan, that was hard to hear!

blue congrats on the poo

bauble If you don't want to wait, there is no reason to hang on. For some women, their bodies instantly go back to normal and pregnancy is possible straight away (I would imagine they would ovulate 2 weeks after the miscarriage in that case).

But that's some women. I think many, maybe most women have a 'wtf' cycle following mc where their body seems a bit unsure of itself and will ovulate late, and then have a short luteal phase which makes pregnancy unlikely.

We've got no way of knowing which camp you'll fall in... or somewhere between. With that in mind, and you feelings of desperation, I think you should at least test until bfn. Imagine testing when you think af is due, knowing you're been 'trying' and getting a bfp... that is just a hangover from the mc. Crushing. (one of our ladies here had something similar happen).

Have you ever tracked/charted your cycle? It's not for everyone, but can take back some control, like you're doing something.

bauble we haven't waited after either of ours. DD was born 10 months and 9 days after I MCed my first baby, and we began trying again 5 days after our most recent loss - to no avail this time, as yet, but AF went straight back to normal, turning up 29 days after my baby was born.

Having said all that the sensible advice is to wait one cycle. I know it, really, but I also know how little I care for sense

What I will say though is that being pregnant again doesn't fix things. It seems like it should, but it doesn't. In a lot of ways it intensifies the loss.

oh wellies i just knooooow what you mean

bauble I would second manda on what she's said... I remember the trauma one of the ladies on here had when she got a bfp only to find it was left over hcg from the MC We DTD (using protection) until I got my bfn and then DTD freely in a 'hoping but trying not to be too impatient' kind of way until my first AF showed up...I did cry when that AF appeared, but there was also a tiny bit of relief that my body was getting back to normal and I felt I could be a bit more confident and with each subsequent cycle until we did get a bfp again I was able to understand a bit more about my cycle and when I was likely to be most fertile (I did temp or chart, just kept a bit of a record of CM, ov pains etc)

marthas and wellies there are so many reminders and it's not easy at all.

hey everyone!! hope you're all feeling festive! i am counting down the days to get out of work - go to australia and ttc!!

bauble the advice i was given was to wait until after first af. this would have been good advice for me as i had to wait 12 weeks for af after mc. if i was 'trying' i could have been thinking i might be pg all that time and getting bfns. i wasn't trying anyway but it could have made things more stressful. it's better to get your body back to normal first.

baby hope your grandad is ok.

blue lol @ the lactulose! i bet you feel relieved now - i feel sorry for your dh though!!

i haven't been charting this month as my thermometer is rubbish and i can't see the screen in the dark so i haven't bothered most days. i think i need a light up one.

i think i might have ov'd on friday as i had ewcm and the couple of temps i have taken since weekend seem high. we swi on friday as well after a couple of bottles of wine - oops!! i am secretly hoping it works but i know it is unlikely to work off one go! my cat was snuggling my tummy on sunday so she was giving me hope.she usually sits on dh knee. she didn't come near me last night though :(.

we will be swi properly from next cycle anyway.

bauble my DH also works shifts so I know the pain of TTC in that context...we were barely managing to see each other, let alone DTD at one point post MC so I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen again, but then our week away fell perfectly with the week I would ov, I somehow managed to stay as unfocused on that as possible while we were away and just DTD as much as possible and that was when we got our bfp this time around...but it did help that I knew we had a chance as it was that week of my cycle IYSWIM. I think, take the test on Sunday and see where you go from there - hopefully you'll get a bfn and you can just get on with TTC whilst you wait for AF/hopefully another bfp

pebs when do you fly - must be soon now! That's come around so fast!! I remember you booking the flights! Have you started packing yet? Exciting stuff!