Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling or settle yourself down in our padded cell. All welcome! (Part 19)

[Poppyjen]

Another new thread for some more serious metalling - we really are a chatty lot!

Here's to making it through the WTF cycle(s), metalling* like a teenager from the early '90s in the 2WW, BFP colds and other classic symptom spotting and hiding in the (nice and comfy) padded cell post BFP

If you have miscarried and are ready to TTC again, come and join us!

• For those currently wondering what our mosh pit antics have to do with ttc post MC, a fabulous typo in an earlier thread resulted in "mentalling" becoming known as "Metalling" - a far more fitting expression I am sure you will agree!

Welcome!

Morning all

So sorry I have missed so much. Will catch up with you all soon.

Welcome to all the new comers - sorry that you have had to join us but I promise you your time will come, the BFP on here show you that it does happen.

Pie hope the scan goes well, you have been in my thoughts.

Hope those little bumps are not goving you all too much grief.

Jnr is nearly 17 weeks - where has that time gone! Midwife on Tuesday. Fingers crossed all remains well. As there is always that doubt isn't there.

Anyway we have broken up for Christmas am so excited going to do lots of nice stuff with DS this week. Then up North for Christmas next weekend.

Trying not to think about baby that we lost due date was Christmas day, just focusing on bump and DS. I count my blessings.

Hello Maja and Tasmanian, welcome to the thread.

Pie good luck for scan tomorrow.

Right I really need to catch up with you all - been busy with all my life drama's!!

The week back at work was ok, it was lovely to see the team and thankfully there was no weirdness with anyone. my boss is already throwing me her work, it is obvious she has let lots of things go and is now expecting me to pick up the pieces. I've not had a return to work so she has no idea she can only do this for a little while becuase she hasn't realised how much annual leave I have left. So I'm not letting it get to me cos I only have about 6 weeks of work left until I start maternity leave.....yay !!!

On a sad note my gramps has been taken into hospital today with a suspected stroke which is worrying but to make it worse he is due to have open heart surgery in the new year - I'm trying not to panic at the moment though as I have to try to stay positive and I haven't had any real updates yet. baby any news on your grandad?? Thinking of you!! Xx

pie best of luck with the scan tomorrow!! Will be keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well for you and it is a lovely experience. Really hope that your work stuff isn't putting more pressure on you.

eve good to hear from you!! I feel exactly the same about the time just dropping away - I thought I was 26 weeks today and looked at my baby centre app and realised I was in fact 27 weeks. Hope everything is good at your next check up too. Fully agree on counting your blessings, hope you have some lovely pre-christmas time with DS!!

maja welcome to the thread - sorry that you have to come round though!!! We can all sympathise on the post MC rollercoaster of emotions....try to be good to yourself and take it easy. I got pg straight after my MC but the main thing is to make sure you get a BFN before you start again. Otherwise you could end up thinking you were pg and it be 'left over' hcg from the last pregnancy. When I got pg after the MC my GP said not to worry about it being so quick because I'd had a BFN and the all clear from the hospital.

blue so pleased that everything went well for your mw check up. It is a brilliant feeling and just such a relief for you I'm sure. Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you when you have your 20 week scan!! Xx

marthas no need for 'sorry' here with us - everyone knows how you feel and it is a hard road to go down especially when you have faced such bitter disappointments. We adore your ways and wouldn't change you for anything so come on in and rant away!! Xxx

Big wave to newton, mseltoe, tasmania, bauble, wellies, far and jaffa. Sorry to anyone I've missed - the brain is not exactly what it used to be!!! Xxxx

Welcome Tasmanian and Maja.

I still haven't heard anything from the hospital or MW or doctor or anyone, not a thing since I came out of the hospital after my induction - except a reminder letter for my 20 week scan which was scheduled for 2 weeks after I MC. It's been 10 weeks now and not a word :(

mseltoe is there anyone you can ring to see what is happening? I know you said before that they had given you 12 weeks as an idea but it does seem a bit that you have had nothing at all in that time.

Hopefully it won't be long now!!! Xxx

Hello all, so much to catch up on - I have just got back from 4 days with my parents (who live abroad) as it was my mum's birthday so absolutely exhausted after long drive last night but just read through the last few days' posts....

Welcome to newcomers, sorry you find yourself here but it is such a lovely supportive thread, I hope you find it some comfort

Pie good luck today

Blue so happy that all was well at your 16 wk appointment - can't quite believe time had flown by that fast!

To those finding DTD difficult - I can totally relate, for a good few weeks after mc DH and I found it so hard. Then it got better, and now it has been so long and no BFP (only a couple of chemical pg to show for it) it is difficult again - I seem to have totally lost my mojo in that department - we are having so much sex it would make a teenager jealous but I have to say I am just not that in to it. I have tried so hard to not let DH know this but he is beginning to suspect. I would love the pressure to be off then maybe I can enjoy it again....

Well I think I o'vd over the weekend, but typically I ws unable to keep up with the temp taking as DS was in travel cot in our room and my thermometer beeps - there was no way I was going to be able to do it without waking him, and by the time he woke up I was on autopilot and just got up without thinking (and without taking temp) so I am just going by CM - lots of EWCM up until Saturday and then nothing so I am (educated) guessing that I ovulated on Friday night. I took temp this morning and it has definitely risen so it happened at some point over the past 4 days This is good of course, but it also means that the Metformin hasn't sorted my cycle out like the Consultant hoped it would oh well...

So that means I should be testing at New Year, which means i'll either start 2012 with a BFP (cautionary ) or by taking my first round of Clomid - either way this is the last crazy long cycle for me which is a very good thing

IQ your post has brought back all sorts of memories for me - with DS I went on maternity leave on 5th Feb (he was due 15th March) so the run up to Christmas was great as I knew I only had a few weeks left (mostly handover) when I got back in the new year enjoy!

Manda if you are still sneaking a peek at my chart pay no attention to fertility friend's dotted red lines, I am pretty sure it is wrong. I had so much EWCM thurs and friday I just can't see how I could be post O then. It seems much more likely at CD28 to my mind.

Sorry not to name check everyone, hope you are all doing well

It's nearly Christmas - hooray!!!

Sorry not to name check everyone, hope you are all doing well.

Hi All,

There is a baby! I was crying before I'd even walked into the room as was so freaked out and scared. But he/she is there measuring 12+4 :)

Have a very long 10 days wait now for my nuchal results but she said to expect them to be relatively high risk because of my age.

poppy I know exactly what you mean about DTD becoming a chore/losing your mojo. We would never normally DTD 3 nights in a row ! And it was crap sometimes when we were both knackered to muster up the energy and enthusiasm!

Sorry for lack of name checking, just wanted to pop on and give you an update from the scan x

awww pie how lovely, and how quick too, i knew your appointment was early but you have done well to get in and out so quick! here have some pretty blooms for your desk!

sorry not to name check everyone but just want to welcome the newbies, despite the circumstances you are all very welcome here.

and also want to give IQ a big squeezy (well not so squeezy given her bump!) hug and thank you for your kind words.

right my new years resolution is to (a) get pregnant (obviously) and (b) look 10 years younger! honestly DH took some pics of me and DS yesterday and i look like shit! my skin looks terrible (not spotty just saggy) and i look 58 not 38 i was in tears about it yesterday. Soooo i am drinking lots of water, trying to give up coffee and red wine (well i will after xmas maybe ) and i might nip over to style and beauty to see if anyone can recommend a good face tan (i am a ginger and have goth like skin tone)

also i am going to have a scoot on fertility friend tonight, i have always shied away from it as i dont want to seem too obsesssed but what the hell, TTC is a full time job and NOT an obsession (honest). I am going to be asking you guys all sorts about it, i just think i need to 'get on the case' a bit more.

Someone mentioned BDing earlier - i much prefer that acronym and cant understand why MN took it off the common list! We used it loads when TTC DS (for the newbies - BD = Baby Dancing = shagging!)

Quickly checking in to say YAY for pie.......sooooo lovely to hear that all is well with you and mini pie!!!!

Now at least you can chill for a bit and then deal with the nuchal results after the new year. xxx

marthas sending lots of hugs back from here - ahhh your a ginger - I'm really hoping that my little one is ginger because I just love the colour but as I'm Black with an afro I don't think I will be getting lucky but there is some hope as DH was quite ginger in his younger days!!!

xxx

well well well IQ i wouldnt be too sure if i were you, my friend is chinese and her hubby is white blonde and they have one of each (both adorable!)

i bet you have the beautiful flawless non saggy skin

Hooray for Pie

pie fab news!! Hope the meeting goes well this afternoon as well!

mseltoe I would give them a call today if you can...if only to ease your mind that you are at least trying to chase it up, what a pain to have to wait sooo long!!

poppy yeah to last crazy cycle - here's hoping for a bfp rather than clomid but at least there seems some light with the option of starting the clomid available for you!

marthas it's so tough, your body goes through so many ups and downs when TTC, pregnant, MC etc that it's no suprise that it takes a toll but it really is the last thing that you need when you want to be feeling good about yourself for moving on from MC, TTC again, life in general etc IYSWIM. Hope you're able to find some 'pick me ups' and try and keep up with the PMA, but not easy I know!

IQ glad work was ok - and great that you can already see the end in sight in terms of when you will go on mat leave too!!

Apologies for the lack of mulled wine on Friday

Yay for pie!

martha and everyone talking about shagging - I've not found SWI or even SWoutI emotional. Possibly I'm a hardhearted harridan. Or maybe I just don't really connect the shagging with the baby or the lost babies resulting. We're still pretty active in the bedroom department, we always have been really, but we've only been together for ten years, maybe we'll calm down one day. It's nice I suppose not to feel under pressure, and it's one reason I don't feel the need to obsess over TTC, we're always going to catch the egg with very rare exceptions, we're generally together at least once a day and often more :fblush:

blue and IQ

I wouldn't have the first clue who to call. I was dealt with in maternity assessment and then induced on labour ward, went home straight after the baby came and that's it really. I can't imagine either mat assessment or labour ward would be able to help me. I assume I'll be referred to a consultant but have no clue who that may be or in what department that'll be in, I've never had a consultant before - I assume it'll depend on if there's actually something wrong, or not - if it's a genetic or structural thing or me or the babies or what. I don't have a named GP just a practice and they wouldn't have the first clue, are utterly awful, probably haven't even got the message I was pregnant yet never mind the loss.

I think I'll wait two more weeks. Then it's 12, right?

poppy I was actually just popping on to moan find out why your chart hasn't been kept up to date and also say I was predicting a CD27/8 Ov (which you seem to agree with!).

I have to say, of all the people I've read about taking met, it's never come across as a miracle drug working within one cycle. It does work, but probably not within 10 days of taking. But you've kept up the ac/B100 so I figured you would O around the same time as last month and lo, it is so!

Fingers tightly crossed here for success this month! or very VERY soon

pie Yayayayayay! Don't assume high risk results (although wise to be prepared). What was baby's nt measurement?

Arghh, DS2 being a royal pain so gotta dash - although will quickly add I shall have to stop talking to you now, martha in case I catch The Ginger... (hehe, if you check my profile, you'll see I'm 'auburn' so all but a hairs breadth away anyway!)

Oh, and IQ I knew a mixed race dude with freckles and a red 'fro. Just sayin' - you might get a fiery red girl after all!

Gah. I also wanna say MsEl I didn't get my results back (was told I would - they only tested the placenta though, I turned down post mortem) nor did i get my consultant appointment that I was told I'd have... I didn't chase it though given we're pretty sure my extreme high temp/viral that ended the pregnancy so I concentrated on trying to get pregnant again rather than raking over it all... but understand my case was my own and we're all in the same boat but taking a slightly different journey. IME, if you don't start chasing, it all gets dropped...

Yay for pie so pleasing, well done you! I am sure your nuchal will be fine.

poppy I am sorry it has not helped straight away but as manda says, it might take a while to kick in?

I am gearing myself for the sexathon as I am on CD9 today. I can relate to those who say its become a chore. Must admit, I am always keen as ovulation makes me really horny but DH finds the pressure a bit much. We tend to only DTD at weekends so Monday night nookie always feels a bit weird. Sometimes he feels the pressure immensely and gets stressed out and then it does not happen which means I then get upset and its a horrible cycle. So this month I have told him when we need to be doing it but am going to wait for him to make the first move. I am hoping we can nail it this month!!

mseltoe I would definitely start chasing them after 12 weeks, I get the sense we have to slightly be in charge of our our tests and options and drive it forward, the lack of communication can sometimes be quite ridiculous!

Pie Hurrah! Hurrah! Such great news, best Christmas present. :)

MsEltoe would back up what Manda said. I mmc at 17 weeks, and was told I would be given an appointment 6 weeks after the event. Like Manda, I only asked for placenta to be tested, not full post mortem, but after 6 weeks, I still had not heard, so started ringing and chasing, and it turned out that I had got lost in the system. They had done all the tests, but just had not put me in for an appointment. I rang the main maternity switchboard with as much info as possible, like hospital and NHS number and it got sorted eventually. Got an appointment 3 weeks after that. If what happens with you is the same as what happened with me you will see a consultant or other senior doctor, and mine was a Consultant of Fetal Medicine. I guess it could also be someone in Obstetrics and Gynacology though. It was the consultant whose care I was under nominally when I miscarried, (but I never saw him then). Hope this helps. I have a lot of sympathy for you, I felt like I was just dangling until after the appointment, not knowing whether I had some inherent problem or whether it was just bad luck.

Far we are cycle buddies, day 9 for me, here's to a very merry Christmas ;).

Manda just been thinking about you. Sorry you didn't get your results.

:( I so thought they would get back to me. They were pretty confused, everyone I saw anyway, as we know that our baby was alive just two days before the loss, normal scans, heartbeart, MW appt, low nuchal risk, everything supposedly perfect until PPROM. Everyone kept saying we'll wait for the reason, we'll see at the follow up appointment, etc so I just kind of thought there would be one. And we signed all the forms for a full post mortem. They are the same forms you would sign if you'd lost a 17 year old teenager, never mind a 17 week pregnancy, which I found pretty odd to be honest. I'm not sentimental about stuff, I figured if there is something to be found out then our lost ones' job is to let us know and maybe help us in the future, maybe help their future siblings. Of course I have DD and she is perfect, which is wonderful and incredibly good luck. But I can't help but think losing two second trimester babies is hard pushed to be coincidence.

manda she took the measurement 4 times (it was 0.7mm, 0.8mm, 0.9mm & 1.2mm) then printed out the photos and examined them and said the 0.8mm was the most accurate measurement? I asked about the nasal bone and she said she could see it. It was all a bit of a haze to be honest (through the tears!). It was so amazing to see a lively bean that, at that point, I really didn't think I could risk losing him/her with an amnio.

Promise will be back to name check tonight, have to dash - home time! xx

Hey jaffa CD9? On your marks, get set, get shagging! Merry Christmas!

MsEl Perhaps Jaffa and I were just unlucky, or perhaps it was easier for us to fall through the gaps given we didn't opt for the full PM - I should imagine you will, at least, get PM results. But at this stage, I don't think it would be considered hysterical to do a little chasing to make sure it's in hand. You're right - it's almost beyond the realms of simple 'chance' or bad luck to lose two babies mid tri. It happens, of course, but there is likely a reason, and hopefully one that can be treated. Have you been tested for MTHFR? Or had any tests yourself? It seems there are some conditions that you can develop after a seemingly picture perfect previous pregnancy (that's a whole lotta P alliteration!). Answers are there, for most of us. We just may have to be our own advocate (sadly at a time when it feels most difficult). Sending you strength.

x post with pie - that's a great measurement! I can't see how your results will come back dire (unless your bloods are bad, but I feel the nt measurement bodes well).

pie Fanstastic news!!!!!
bugs I am glad that first day at work was ok & people were lovely. I also had a bit of meltdown last week on the day when my scan was due but I think it got a bit easier after that.
I've gone out and bought posh preg tests. Not because I think that they are more accurate but because then my stupid body might be tricked into thinking I'll be annoyed if some go to waste as f--cking if
As you see, I'm still keeping reasonable....