Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome! (Part 17)

[MarathonMama]

Hello! Just miscarried and ready to start again, come and join us...

marathon how old is your DD?

Heya, hope a good weekend was had by all...

Thanks MissG, was reading your handy thoughts to pebs earlier on the hcg issue as well (plus foolishly consulting Dr Google, oops), and agree that it's all slightly baffling (and surprisingly contradictory). Aaargh - but guess they don't call it the WTF cycle for nothing! Thanks IQ as well, good thinking on the weekly chart, found that on the web too once you mentioned it, v useful. Think I'm going to hold out for that poas -ve and magic 5 score, then not stress about the ovulating biz, as suspect having a positive in a few weeks with no idea if I was ultra-lucky or just still going from the MC would be the worst!

Ah, Blue, sorry to hear about your grandparents (and also joining MissG's toast to all the wonderful grandparents we've been lucky enough to know). Can imagine that even when you're able to have said 'goodbyes' it's still so difficult. 73 years though, wow - so inspirational :).

Pie, glad you had lovely hols, sorry the witch got you, but it's getting cosy in da June Squad Massif . Word. .

Aw, Summer, soooooo cute of your DS, bet you're still smiling :). And awesome work with the counselling by the sounds of it, really pleased for you that the PMA is going so well

Hello all,
Sorry for the late responses. I have been too hungover to face turning on the computer, instead my day has been spent walking the dog in the rain and clearing the house ready for a productive week starting tomorrow!

Firstly, got a text at 7am from my cousin - their baby boy (they knew it was a boy) Freddie was born at 5.35am. He is 6lb 8 and it was apparently 'the mother of all labours' which ended up in a forceps delivery. Ouch! I have to say, it would have to be life or death before anyone could come near me with those bloody things! Barbaric!

I may have got the days wrong, but is or was anyone being scanned today? Or soon? I would trawl back and have a look but my, er, eyes are sore today.

Thank you for all your kind words. I guess you guys know just how I feel having been unfortunate enough to have gone through it all yourselves. I am now desperate for my cycle to get back to normal so we can crack on with trying again!
At the moment I have no idea whatsoever what's going on with it, and am guessing it may be like that for some time. I am also, more possibly as I want to do something toying with the idea of getting one of those Clearblue Fertility Monitors but as you have to wait at least two cycles anyway I may end up going off the idea, they are bloody expensive. I am hoping that once my cycle goes back to normal it'll be pretty easy to work out what's happening when, it worked last time. I am also hoping like mad that I have this surge of fertility that some seem to get after MCing. PMA and all that! I cannot stop thinking about TTC and what might happen when and it's driving me mad! I also have this idea that I will manage it again by Christmas, but whether this will happen or not I have no idea - it's only three or four chances after all!

IQ what kind of dog have you got? I have a border collie.

Summer your DS sounds adorable! His speech will come soon enough too, I think boys can sometimes be a bit slower at picking these things up than girls (I used to work in a nursery so know a little bit.)

Pebs it seems weird you going to a family planning clinic although I suppose it is still family planning I think of these places as more for contraception. Good luck with it and let us know how you get on.

Right, time for some dinner I think. Will be checking the thread on and off all night I reckon. Bye for now! x

Having another moment. I think it might be connected to Freddie being born and suddenly every bugger seems pregnant. I am not resentful at all, but I do feel very sad and empty about my own situation. I did wonder if I'd feel like this after the MC but haven't really till now, but now I feel very down but also quite stressed about everything. The MC will be close to 8 weeks ago but it only seems to be hitting me properly now.

I am normally pretty laid back but have been, and I know I shouldn't but I couldn't stop myself (and no, have not been drinking!) looking up OPK's, fertility monitors, threads on concieving after MC and so on and on. I think I am also worrying that it might take ages to get pg again, even though I realise there is no actual 'fact' behind this and also, surely, it stands me in good stead that it only took 3 months the first time...?

I spoke to the diabetic nurse the other day and she made me feel pretty grim to. I am very well controlled (there is one nurse who says she wishes all her patients are like me and this other nurse who, while very friendly, tends to assume the worst) and have excellent blood test results but she still said it was better to wait three months at the least to 'get things under control and start testing.' (By testing she means testing blood sugar, something I do between 2 and 10 times a day and have the fingers to prove it!) I explained to her that I am a) very much in control and the only time I found it slightly unpredictable was when I was pg so I, BY MYSELF as the doc was pretty crap and just assumed I was eating sugary foods, altered my insulin doses to get things back under control and b) that I am 37 on Sunday and would rather get cracking. The nurse then suggested I come in for tests every THREE weeks at the hospital as that's what they advise for diabetics. When pressed she did say that most diabetics, especially the Type 2 one's, aren't as well controlled as me hence the guidlines. She also asked me, when I explained about the looming birthday, why I have decided now and didn't TTC earlier 'as it can be a lot harder just being diabetic and even riskier when over 36.' Grrr! I have been diabetic for 32 years, have never had any complications, have never had to go to hospital due to it, have travelled all over the world on my own and been fine, managed my own doses and food ratios, done two Olympic distance triathlons and so on and ON! So I would prefer to be treated as someone who knows what they are doing, and not be harassed into lenghty hospital appointments where I have to sit there and be told to do things that I either do anyway or know more about than they do!

Sorry, know the diabetic stuff is quite dull but I had to get that off my chest. All of it.

Me again (well you did say I was welcome to drone!)
To summarise, I think I am getting stressed out with 'possible' scenarios' which don't have any proper basis. I am just as likely, possbily, to concieve within three months than I am within twelve and its not like I am pushing 45 is it?
The diabetic nurse irritated me as she makes lots of assumptions and doesn't actually listen and there was also the hint that the MC was due to being diabetic, even though nobody knows that for a fact and it's actually, due to me knowing what I am doing, highly unlikely.
I have also realised that I don't currently want to see either pregnant friends or those with brand new babies. Not convenient in the least considering recent developments in my family. We are also due to see some friends in October who are expecting their first at the end of Nov and I know now, I really don't want to see her. Terrible really but I'm finding it really tough.

Right, will shut up and go to bed. Thanks for the loan of your ears x

baby so sorry you are feeling down but that's what we're here for - we'll always listen

Great news about your cousin, totally understandable that you're having mixed feelings about this and the other new arrivals/imminent arrivals. Take your time and don't force yourself into situations that you know will make you upset, that won't be any good for anyone! You are perfectly entitled to look after yourself and your emotions.

Grrrr to silly medical profession. Sometimes they are amazing but it is astonishing how they can make such assumptions. Stay strong in the knowledge that you feel on top of things - as you said this has been a part of your life for 32 years.....

And as for being 37 on Sunday (my birthday on Saturday btw !) I have 4 friends who had their first at 37 and 2 of them are now expecting their 2nd so you can safely up the PMA on that front!

That said, it WILL happen for you and we will always be here to remind you of that if you need us

I shall catch up with the rest of you in a moment but thought I would tell baby about how things went for me - be prepared this is going to take a while:
Firstly it is great that your cousin has had her baby but really just because your pleased for them it doesn't mean you can't be sad for yourself nor do you have to beat yourself up for feeling very rubbish because of it. Having an MC is like being given something amazing and then having it stolen....yes stolen is the right word here!!! It feels like you had this amazing and precious thing happening inside you and some horrible force took it away - before I got pregnant the first time I was working all hours, taking it home, working over weekends, basically depending on DH to do everything at home and then not even making any time for him. Lying on that bed with my legs in the air and a consultant looking inside my fanjo and having it translated by my sister in law was horrendous. But as I lay there I prayed and I promised anything and everything I had that they would see a little sac in there....when they rolled over my tummy with the ultrasound and it was empty something just crumbled inside me. It felt like my baby had been taken away and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Our holiday resort was filled with families with really young kids - the youngest was about 4 months and I had to time when I would go to breakfast so that I could avoid most of them. When we got back I went to the GP and was given the "one in four and the it happens speech" - I was told to use protection for a month and try again. With my DH's leaving date looming, my feelings about the MC, work ect I broke down ran in the house and locked myself in the bathroom. DH basically had to damage the lock to get in - which he did and he carried me into bed. I told him what had been said but really he didn't understand and I don't think I was able to explain myself so I went to sleep and tried to act 'normal' over the next few days. Even after we got back home I would only go to the supermarket late at night because I couldn't bare to see babies in trollies, I secretly hated people with children they just made me feel such and I kept having the urge to go up to people with more than one child and ask "how did you do it?" "How did you get it so right and I get it so wrong".....I was angry and I didn't care that it happened to lots of people I just cared that it happened to me!!!

So after carrying this burning anger around for a few weeks I ended up having a total blow out with DH and actually hit him....now not like domestic abuse but the kind of pathetic thing you see from women in films where they kind of lash out and then just end up sobbing endlessly. Once I was less hysterical I told him how I'd been feeling. I said that I felt cheated and angry and how much I hated pregnant people and people with babies. It was awful to say out loud all the terrible and horrible thoughts that I'd had against these innocent women but you can't help how you feel and that is what DH said. Because of the MC we hadn't been intimate for weeks and after everything that happened I just felt like I wanted to turn a corner and at least I could enjoy this with my husband. I cried afterwards not because I felt sad but because he was so tender with me and he promised that he would "give me another baby no matter what".....it felt like I was back, like we were back and those feelings of resentment didn't just magically go away but I did start thinking...."What have those women been through to have those kids or get pregnant" and it helped me push through those feelings.

Then I joined this thread and it has been like a life raft in the open sea - I have told these women things I could never tell anyone in RL and to be honest I don't think a lot of the people I know in RL would even understand or not be unbelievably shocked at my previous 'evil' thoughts!! And life just started to get better.....I talked with DH more - made more time for him and went back to doing what I used to do before we started TTC....I seduced my husband - repeatedly and shamelessly!!! In my post MC innocence I never thought I would just get pg again and so thought...."It took 7 months last time, I have another 7 to wait for the next one".

Fast forward 2 weeks and after some 'encouragement' shouting from summer (adore you really ) I went to get a clear blue digi and realised my lapdancing skills had given my husband more than he had bargained for!! I can't say I don't think of the baby we lost before....I think I will always think of them and I think I will always feel cheated about it. But I can say that I no longer have 'evil' thoughts about pregnant women or women with babies but then carrying post MC is a mine field of highs and lows!!! So what is my point following this lengthy and drawn out summary - don't feel bad for feeling bad. Don't judge yourself for wanting to avoid all pregnancies and babies. And don't push yourself to be ok or feel ok when you don't. All the ladies here can tell you that their grief/anger over their MC's has hit them at different times and has been stronger and hardest to cope with when someone close has fallen pregnant - when you get announcements on facebook - or when new babies arrive. Just be gentle with yourself and don't judge yourself too harshly, 8 weeks is no time at all and if I remember correctly doesn't even cover the amount of weeks you were pregnant for!!!

I too have suffered with the "over involved nurse" situation (obviously not quite the same but I get where you are coming from) I have been underweight since the day I was born (please don't hate me everyone it is natural I promise)!! Every doctor, nurse, specialist has recommended something different ranging from powders to add to my food, adding meals into my day, thyroid tests, copious blood tests....it has been pointless and annoying!! My mother was exactly the same and was in fact a size 6 after having 3 healthy children but did anyone want to listen - of course not because I couldn't possibly be eating the required amount of food and not gaining weight! When we started TTC I went to the nurse to discuss what the best "tactics" were - the first thing she said was for me to gain at least half a stone to put my bmi properly in the normal range...trying to explain that this wasn't even possible simply fell on death ears. So I went home crying and told DH I was 'too thin' to have babies - he promptly reminded me that this woman has no idea what is 'normal' in my family and is simply reading the advise out of the book....he also said "when have you let other peoples doubts convince you that you couldn't achieve something" - the man is very insightful at times so we simply ignored 'advice' and got on with it. Now that I am pg I have gained enough 'fat pouch' and baby to take my bmi into 'normal' and I am for once the 'correct weight'.....I see this as a personal triumph to be honest and smugly informed the horrible nurse on my way out of the surgery!!

Your situation is made more difficult because you are a diabetic but not impossible and the assumption that you don't know how to care for yourself is ludicrous to say the least....additionally halle berry (one of my fave ladies) and fellow diabetic (not sure if its the same type but also controls hers by diet and excersise) gave birth to a beautiful baby girl age 41 so your nurse and doctor can go shove it as far as I am concerned. No it may not be easy but your not an idiot you have looked after this condition for most of your life and would never risk your health or your babies and so would get help when and where needed!!! Baby you will get there with all these emotions - you will get there with this looming birthday - you will get there with the house and when you have your beautiful mini baby and I want you to take said baby and tell the stupid nurse that she was wrong and you did it and look how bloody well you did.....I utterly refuse to give up on you and so even if you don't think you can do it right now all us ladies are 100% behind you!!

Hugs and kisses from here xxx

Poppy and IQ - thank you! I am now all a bit tearful, but in a sort of good way rather than a down in the dumps way. I suppose the arrival of Freddie has rammed it all home, and previously I either didn't think of it or didn't let myself think of it too much, not quite sure which. When you put it like that, IQ, about 8 weeks being less (I found out about the MMC at the 12 week scan but was actually 12+5) than I was actually pregnant for it makes a lot more sense.

At the moment, all baby related stuff does seem to be taunting me and the nurse with her assumptions has just rubbed it in. However, I guess it is all part of the grieving process. It may make sense to try and avoid things to an extent, but at the same time, weirdly, I find myself strangely drawn to it too. Its almost like I want to 'get it out of my system' but also, possibly, because I can't think of much else other than the MMC and TTC again - its doing my bloody head in! Last night I kept looking up post MC TTC and such like, and while most of it is pretty positive you still can't help but wonder if you'll be someone who takes ages, or has another MC or some other gloomy outcome - and, like I say, I am normally a very chipper person!

As for the diabetic side of things, yes Halle Berry is a diabetic but a quick Google had some sites saying she is a Type 1 (like me) and others say she is a Type 2 so not really sure! I thought I had once read she was a Type 1 though which would make more sense as she's clearly fit, slim and healthy. Steve Redgrave is also a Type 1 although I don't think he had any post 35 pregnancies, but he is a good example of someone who's very fit!

It seems, IQ, that you have had similar frustrations, and I can empathise with how annoying that must be at times. You just want to be credited with some common sense, don't you?! In your case, surely you would not be starving yourself but also expecting to concieve? And also surely you'd not even be sat with the bloody nurse discussing it if you were pretending you were eating more than you actually were!

I think also, nurses have such large caseloads a lot of the time that they get confused with who's who and instead lump people together. One nurse, the other diabetic nurse I saw in the post natal (the one who said she wished all her patients were like me - smug!) said that as the majority of diabetics are Type 2 - the lifestyle associated one - they tend to struggle more with control, especially as they have generally had 30+ years of relatively unhealthy living first and then often assume they will be fine if they just take the tablets or whatever. The type I have is one that generally develops in childhood and there is no option but to go on insulin immediately. Anyway, enough of that as I will start to even bore myself!

By the way, ladies, this thread is a bloody godsend! Like many of you, I'd find it hard to be this open in RL, and it is extra fabulous (in a weird way) that we've all been there so can relate to each other. Thanks again x

ps just on messenger with my cousin - the one's who's girlfriend had the baby yesterday. I think, with my current frame of mind, it is better to 'speak' to him on screen instead of on the phone and face to face. The last thing I'd want is for them to feel as if they have to pussyfoot around me or to feel awkward in any way. He has a humdinger of a hangover, by the way. I wonder if he also smells of Cuban cigars (not that he actually smokes, but still....)

just a quick one from me - will catch up later promise!

rang the doctors to find out about family planning and they ended up giving a doc's appointment on monday night. the surgery is open until 8pm now which is good as i work mile away from home, travel on train etc. getting to appointments during the day is a nightmare.

Well, it was cut very short. He said he was 'just glad he (Freddie) is safe and J is going to be okay as it was very traumatic' - he then had to go and sort himself out as they may be coming home later. He said he'd tell me about it more when he see's me and will text a pic in a bit. I am very glad it was done via messenger as now feel both and despite the fact that J is probably hobbling like John Wayne and stitched up to high heaven!

to Baby - I'm not so good with advice, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Think I'm at a fairly similar stage, and can thoroughly identify with the urge to run screaming from all things IRL that are pregnancy and child-related - a good friend of mine gave birth the day of my erpc, and whilst I've managed to make all the requisite happy noises for them, it's been a pretty rough reminder of where I am (or more precisely, am not). Oh, and I point-blank refused to have coffee in a cafe full of kids the other day . Also feeling that sad sense of emptiness, and frustration at being back at the beginning of what suddenly looks like a frighteningly long and difficult journey, when before I naively had no fear.

IQ, thanks so much for taking the time to share your story. One of the things I'm finding hardest is just plodding along and going through the motions (what else can you do, right?), and sometimes I'm wondering where the heck that corner has got to. It really helped me to read your experience and be reminded that the corner WILL be there, and things really are better around it.

Right, back to trying to dig up some PMA. I've returned to work today, so trying to be positive about that being another step along the way .

Mega busy at work (was out yesterday from 8.30-8.30 at meetings across 4 locations) but just wanted to say big hugs to Baby
It must be incredibly frustrating for you re the diabetes issue. I can certainly feel your pain to a certain extent regarding your cousin's new arrival. My cousin sent out a group picture text the very day after I had my ERPC, with her 20 week scan pic, saying everything great, baby is waving to the camera, etc etc and my first reaction was to burst into tears and shout "F&cking bitch!" at my phone. I felt awful, but it was out of my control in many ways. It didn't mean I wasn't happy for them, but just the timing meant that my emotions were focussed elsewhere. I felt the way I was behaving was irrational and really quite horrible - further compounded by the fact that my DH was annoyed with me for having a rant about it to him, even though I just had to get it out, and didn't really mean what I was saying.
And, My Bro and SIL had their first baby (my utterly fabulous nephew I never shut up about ) less than 2 weeks after I had my ectopic last year. I kept it together when visiting them in hospital (he was in special baby care for a few days) and even in front of ny DH and DD, but inside my heart felt like it was breaking. When I had told them I was pg a few weeks before, we had talked loads about what Christmas was going to be like with 2 new babies in the family (my DD being 14, and the only child until then), how it was amazing that our kids were going to grow up together, my Bro was even considering moving closer so that they could go to school together . It's metal what plans can be made in just a few short weeks before it's all ripped right out from under your feet. It was really tough but here I am, super Auntie and I worship the ground that wee man walks on.

I can't put it any more eloquently than IQ has. Don't torture yourself about feeling and/or and/or . These are the normal range of emotions in this most emotionally charged rollercoaster. You will get through this, and this current cloud will lift x

And, we know that if we send enough virtual PMA your way, it will reach you eventually!

So

PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA......

baby, zebra (and others still struggling) first, never hesitate to offload here because, more importantly, secondly, you'll find we've all been there, understand and can offer hope that it WILL CHANGE.

It's my due date on Monday which has been bearing down on my harder than I can say... yet the universe has heeded my PMA and and offered some solace - I got my bfp this morning (11dpo).

Shook for a while. Doesn't feel feel!

OMG! Manda !!!! That's fabulous news!! So so happy for you. Your PMA has paid off indeed. Yeah!

Oh sorry, also should have said I hope Monday isn't too tough a day for you. I hope this bpf and the positivity it will bring will help you through x

Zebra I think we are very much in the same place in many ways. While I am generally quite positive, I do feel as I am set back on the long and difficult journey too, and its not a nice place to be!

MissGiraffe I got a pic from my cousin earlier on and my initial reaction, and I am not proud to say this, was 'urgh, he's all squashed' followed by 'well, it just looks like a baby, they all look the same' said (in my head) in an agressively dismissive way. And then I started to cry. Deep down, what I really mean is that I am jealous and resentful as well as a little bit angry and frustrated but I obviously can't let on. I don't even want to to my DH, to be honest. I don't think he fully understands. A very good friend of mine, who also had a MC (an early one, about 5 weeks, but she had a D&C the next day as she was due to fly back from holiday) said that her DH said 'we can just make another one' - she said he meant well, but couldn't quite get his head around how she was feeling. She apparently snapped at him that she wanted to have a cry / come to terms with 'this one' first and he didn't really know what to do with himself. Incidently, they got pg again on the first try two months later - PMA!

New baby excitement is NOT what I want at all right now! I wouldn't want them to know that though, I think people feeling as if they have to tiptoe around me while also feeling sorry for me would make things ten times worse. Like you ladies, I have managed to make all the right enthusiastic noises and while I do mean them to a certain extent, I still can't help the and Bit admiration for you who had the new baby thing days after ERPC's too - that must have been really fucking tough!

Onto brighter things - Manda whooopeee! I know it doesn't remove the gloom of the miscarriage but I hope it helps you feel more positive and able to look forward.

BIG admiration, not 'bit' - doh!

Yeah, I've been consumed by the thought of monday and now... it seems far away and dreamlike. Odd.

And, also, I didn't mean to sound all 'just be positive and it'll happen' in my last post. THat's not what I meant at all and god knows I've had some major wobbles on here/the complete opposite of PMA. It took FIVE cycles for my body to sort itself out

i am mega busy at work but just jumped on quickly, and what a rollercoaster we have here!

first of all baby PMA PMA PMA all the way. i am going to make a bizarre suggestion, but i wonder if you should visit your cousin and the new baby? the reason i say this is; on Saturday i held a newborn and was worried i would be a bit choked. well. i wasnt. all i kept thinking was - i am not hankering after this baby - i want my own baby. i felt no attachment or emotions at all. i know it is so soon after your MC and it is going to be a struggle but maybe little Freddie can give you some comfort? i wonder why the birth was traumatic, it sounds like they have been through the mill too

oh - and your diabetic nurse(?) was bloody insensitive - how rude of her to question the timing of your TTC

IQ thank you so much for sharing your story. i had no idea when i was bullying encouraging you all those weeks ago that you had so much on your mind. i am sitting at work with a tear in my eye, i must refer back to your post when i am having a day. thank you again xx

manda what an amazing interlude to the thread!!!!!!! so many congratulations and wonderfulness! i will be thinking of you on Monday. Mine will be 10 October so am pondering as to whether i will get a BFP before then

Right i have to go back to work but will try and catch up tonight as DH is out. But sending bucketloads of PMA to you all

oh gosh one of my colleagues at work has just left today to go on maternity leave and i have said goodbye to her.

she is due the same day i would have been

PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA.......

Hi Peeps, so much to catch up on and not sure where to start so will randomly jump in! :)

manda congratulations! That is really really great news, I am for you! Have your cycles been totally haywire then since you mc until now? Looking at my charts i've ov'd on CD17, CD12 and CD19 since the mc! I haven't a scooby what's going on :( It's most fustrating!

missg how are you feeling today? You and manda must have nearby due dates for these bubbas?

(missg and manda do you mind if I ask when you SWI this month and think you ov'd? My body is playing up so much at the moment!!)

IQ ditto what summer said about your story, thanks so much for sharing it. I deffo had a lump in my throat when I read it xx When is your 12w scan?

baby i've offloaded on this thread so many times! I really don't know what I would do without all of you lovely ladies to talk to and offer support and advice. I'd probably be in the looney bin or several bottles of gin down. A lot of my friends seem to be announcing pregnancies at the moment and whilst yes, I am happy for them I am definitely not happy for me! It's like a stab through the heart and I am envious of their pregnancy innocence. Miscarriage really does take that away from you.

marathon will be thinking of you and your scan tomorrow (?) and waiting here to hear from you! xx

summer my DS only says a few words really and doesn't string any together yet (he's 20 months) PMA for a June babba!

Off to acupuncture tonight, think that must be my 4th session now. Not sure how long i'll keep going but it is relaxing me which is all part of it. I started another thread a while ago on this conception board asking if people did anything differently with a pregnancy after a mc and there was an interesting link put up by a poster regarding vitamins, stress, exercise etc etc. I have increased my vitamin C intake however as i'm pretty sure i've got low progesterone and according to their research it can help. At least it won't do any harm?

My best friend is getting married soon and i'm a bridesmaid. I have such a vivid memory of us trying on bridesmaid dresses and I had just had my bfp. I was dying to tell her as we would have to get a suitable frock to fit over the bump which would be 6 months by then :( :( Oh well, I will just have to get utterly sloshed instead!!

Sending oodles and oodles of PMA to us all, big massive bozies with an american style ye-haw chant, WE CAN DO IT and fist bumps (can't remember who did that earlier but am loving it!!)

Sorry for everybody i've missed out, I keep having to hide this thread when people walk past and it says the thread heading at the bottom of my screen! Leaving work in 10 mins but am thinking of us all! xx

summer big big hugs to you, that must be horrible. xxx have a big fat bozie from me xx

backatcha homie

i am ok really i-think it was just a bit of a jolt

There's been a distinct lack of and this past 2 days.

What a mixture of highs and lows over the past few days, eh?! A few of you have said it already, but this thread has been a life-saver. Baby you said you didn't want to share with your DH how you were feeling? I can understand that. I did, but he made me feel worse . Then I came on here, ranted, knew I had been listened to, and understood, got some reassurance that I hadn't become the She Devil overnight, and felt like a massive weight had been lifted. Invaluable, you lot are Cheers ladies! (it's shloer obviously)

Pebs your post made me chortle, but also panic at the same time, as it brought back memories of my teenage visits to the FP clinic. I started sleeping with DDs Dad when we were only 15 . I felt so grown up - I so wasn't. But to think that my DD is now that age!!! God, it doesn't bear thinking about! Am so glad she doesn't have a boyfriend

Awe Summer what unfortunate timing. Hope you're ok. Chin up, @@ out! PMA! PMA!

Pie managed CDs 11,12,14,17 (DH just managed that one ) & 19 but have no idea when I ovulate. I too would have been a bookend bridesmaid at my BFs wedding had that pg not been ectopic . Sloshed just about describes it! I'm sure you will have a great time, and that your healthy living and PMA approach will pay dividends

And yes, my estimated due date seems to be 8th May, so very close to Mandas. (still very excited about this piece of news today!)

Marathon very much looking forward to hearing good news from you tomorrow

Eve did you say your little one starts school this week?

Hi to all the other metallers Blue Shimmery Zebra

Am away to order make dinner