Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

'ey up Jars 'ow goes it lass? and the rest of yous?

I've 'ad a terrible day t'office, I'll tell you that for nowt.

Cheers.

Nah then, 'oo's that under't owd feller's 'at?

As I live and breathe, if it in't our Jewels! Well, I'll go to't foot of our stairs!

Fuck me, that were was hard work. No wonder I type in Southern normally. Keeping up with all the apostrophes is't worst on it. So think on.

What's kicking off in the old workplace, then? Is there trouble down't mill?

Shit, where'd Loopy go? She just jumped off the other thread but hasn't landed on this one yet.

I'm here, I'm here!!!!

I was typing away & my bloody phone died but I'm here & marking my spot for posterity...

Lovely shiny thread, yay! Nice one Jars and welcome back Jewels I wondered where the buggery you had got to!

Hmm, nice new thread...do we have any nice new bottles of vino to go with it?

And you cow Jars can't believe you stole in at the last second on our other thread - crafty!

You should see me on eBay...

Glad to see you made it, captain. Too early for a crafty gin?

Hello lovelies

What a great thread. All shiny and clean.

Well, I like the cut of your collective jibs. Would you mind if I joined you? I am TTC and still gagging slightly after someone said "wishing babyglue to you" on another forum.

I have taken solace in yesterday's cooking wine watching Nadal's arse bob around centre court.

Hello spout

Babyglue sounds beyond revolting. Euphemistic, even. Ugh.

Welcome spout! The more the merrier, I say :)

I'm currently watching telly with a , DH gone to bed already as he'll be up with the birds tomorrow & am listening to the neighbours crucify 80's rock songs as they are having a BBQ party for no particular reason...80's rock sounds shite at the best of times but when 6 drunken 40/50yrs+ plus wankers are singing along to it, my God it sounds rough!

So went to the docs last Friday & completely forgot all about mentioning it - must ring them tomorrow to see if results if my hormone profile are in - and she put me forward for an ultrasound/pelvic scan at the local hospital. Slightly scared about that if I'm honest - what if they find something hideous? Or what if they find nothing at all? THEN what am I supposed to do? Tis rubbish either way...

Any oldies around? Phoebe/Sherry/Tante/Folic? Also Rara/Wino? How are you gals doing?

Best top up my , the neighbours have put on Bon Jovi...

Evenin' all
Love the new thread - specially love what you've done with the drapes.
Hope you are all well and welcome sprout - not heard babyglue before but that is impressively vomit inducing.
Also what's with people using Hun instead of hon? I approve of neither and feel like posting links to wikepedia for 'Atilla the...'
All quiet on the western front - first scan tomorrow so will see if there is anything in there or just cobwebs and tumbleweed.
Hope you are all well and filling yourselves with babyglue - mmm what a lovely thought!

Hey Rara is that your 12 wk scan? Hope everything goes fabulously...

"Babyglue" refers to women who have just found out they're pregnant & others wish them "babyglue" as in 'hope your baby stays there and doesn't miscarry'...

As repulsive a concept as the babydust frankly, we may as well wear pink tutus & buy fake fairy wings from Claires Accessories while we're at it!!!

I phoned my doctor yesterday to see if blood test results were back and was told "no action required"...NO ACTION REQUIRED, what the fuck does that fricking mean??? I said to the receptionist that that didn't really tell me much and she asked if I'd like another appointment with the doctor - errrr, NO....Anyway, doctor phoned me back this morning & explained the results. As far as they can tell (why DO doctors get paid so much????), my results are normal & it doesn't look like I've gone into early menopause and she said that, as she has referred me to the hospital, to await a letter from them for an ultrasound/pelvic scan date.

Joyous - meanwhile, if my hubby really fancies it, he can also go into the docs to get his health (which is rubbish), lil swimmers, etc checked out but the actual concern for the doctors at this point was why my periods haven't returned

So that's me! Rather feel like going on a Sherry type shopping trip but have already done that several times over in the sales .....

Hello! anyone? I've only bought red I'm afraid. (Although normally when gatecrashing like this I'd just bring a bottle of Blue Nun and leave it in the kitchen... )

Welcome Terra! May I call you that or do you prefer Viva ? :)
Either way, booze of any variety is welcome here except maybe Lambrini Not even underage teenagers drink that shit!

It's only Tuesday but bugger me, I feel like cracking open the Tequila???

Ooh I've never been asked that before Loopy (or La?)! Do y'know, on reflection I quite like Viva, but will answer to any old thing really :)

I considered saying Lambrini, or even cherry lambrini but just couldn't quite go that low... Pass that tequila over here though .

Anyone want a roll-up?

Me & DP started TTC about 8 months ago. However I had a massive freak out about 3 months ago and am currently in limbo... I figured hanging out here for a bit would be a good idea. At the risk of sounding forward you seem like my kinda crowd

Agree 'babyglue' is just the most repulsive term ever. Wrong on so many levels.

Hello Terra :)

although I have eaten a bar of chocolate bigger than my head already this eve. A sure sign that it's nearly period time. Humpfh.

Fuck me, where does one purchase chocolate the size of a head?

Welcome, spout & Viva: hope you managed to find an upturned beer crate or similar to perch on.

I need a night out. I want a fag and a margarita. I want to wear my stupid shoes.

Ooh: we got an offer of £65k for our house (no, Londoners, you read correctly: we live in a ghetto in the North and this is not the cheapest house in town), which is on at £70k. I have spent the best part of 20 mins trying to persuade DH that we can afford to take less than £70k but he keeps going on about "what the house is actually worth", which is bloody ridiculous and meaningless: houses have no intrinsic value . Am terrified he will refuse to accept £67.5k. He has no sense (is out at the pics watching The Green Lantern with his brother tonight, FFS).

Rara, good luck with the scan. I'm sure it'll all be fine but have digits crossed for you anyway.

Loops, you too. I've had 2 ultrasounds and they're ok.

Bugger, posted too early. Sorry,hun.

Hey ladies!
Welcome viva - I can't believe they make cherry Lambrini. That sounds so wrong it might actually be right.

Rubbish dr nonsense loopy - super helpful with a good bedside manner as always. What's next then? They've not just left you in limbo have they?

jars take the money and run - that's my completely (lacking in any skills or knowledge) estate agent opinion.

I had scan, it was fine, I cried like a twat at the miserable cowbag sonographer. So yippee! Although kind of feel like that means I shouldn't post on here anymore as dont want to annoy you with my (currently, unexpectedly and rarely) working womb. I may have drunk too much virtual gin - imagine mascara strewn face and a slight slur to the voice - but I love you guys.

Hope the rest of you are well - I leave an offering of buffet snacks and the obligatory vat of gin (and a slice).

Oh. Wow. A normal talking thread with a scarily low use of acronyms. Mind if I hang out? MrC and I are not trying, not preventing, mostly freaking out. Currently. I dunno, 15 years of not trying to be pregnant, this feels like accidentally stepping over a cliff.

Mine will be half an ale, thanks. And don't laugh, I'm small so by the time I make it through a pint it's warm. Bleugh.

If I stick a pint in a wine bottle cooler (you know, one of those weird plastic ones with no ice in that that you get in bars, that shouldn't work but does) and pass you a bendy straw, will that help? I like to encourage pints.

Hmm.

You're in. Welcome! Gissa fag, then...

My mum has been sitting with me all fecking evening, getting help with her new smart phone, and driving me slowly mad.

How is everyone else?

Rara pleeeeeease stay for a while at least...we acknowledge that you are with child but makes the rest of us feel there's still hope out there for us - plus it's only fair that you offer your soon to be expanding belly for "lucky rubs"

I'm sure I'll post again later - probably tomorrow as I'm "working from home", an oxymoron if there ever was one , but for now, welcome Mrs Crow And beer? Respect to you! My first proper drink was Fullers London Pride & I have much fondness for it, even now 17 years later!

Respect to the ale drinkers. Shockingly I have recently discovered a fondness for bitter shandy .

MrsCrow The acronyms are bloody scary aren't they?! I don't have a clue what's being said in half the other threads. Although as I am supposed to start fertility treatment soon, I guess I should start learning a few.

Wonderful news rara, nice one. Must be such a relief after a couple of MCs.

Opposite here, sadly. Lovely scan person (unplanned one at 10 weeks following my casual mentioning of a few cramps at my booking in appointment this morning) but, fucking horribly, big empty looking sac & no HB. Looking at an ERPC tomorrow or Mon. I did a lot of crying like a twat this morning - pushed bike three miles home wailing the whole way. Now feeling calmer but a bit dazed/in shock. Can't face telling anyone in RL yet. So you lot get that dubious pleasure. Lucky people.

Make us a rollie, would you viva, golden virginia if you will. And jars mine is DEFINITELY a pint.

Oh jewels that is beyond shit I am so sorry. Are you feeling ok? Have you been through this before? It's rubbish but physically shouldn't be too horrendous.

Mentally...well here's a massive un threadlike hug, one if those enormous goblets of wine, tub of ice-cream and shitty film of choice.

Hope you're ok, can't believe you pushed a bike home!