Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

Bloody sodding twatting arsing HEARTBURN.

And right now I dislike my job so much that I'm tempted to go on maternity leave, take their enhanced maternity pay and all the benefits, and then serve my notice.

(BTW, did you chaps know that childcare vouchers are - at least so far as HMRC is concerned - a non-cash benefit which cannot be withdrawn simply by virtue of the fact that you're on maternity leave? And that they cannot be deducted from statutory maternity pay either? Astonishing.)

Bloody hell you can almost see the tumbleweed in here can't you?! Where IS everyone!

Sorry to hear about the heartburn Fish that sucks. Can you swig Gaviscon or is it not allowed? Mind you, it tastes like liquid Germolene to me - bleurgh!

I didn't know that about the childcare vouchers, but then I didn't know you could get them in the first place - I'm so clueless. I guess I'll look into all this when/if I get preggers. I'm losing heart to be honest :(