Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

Ah bugger! Don't give up. Have wine, and then go to it again when AF has buggered off! Have a lovely weekend despite it all x

Hey hey, gusset fans!

Still nuttin' more than brown spotting so far, & has been 2 days of that. But 374 BFNs can't all be duff tests, so I am assuming that I am not pregnant, just very, very late. It's CD38 in the Big Brother House and Jars is trying to get up the energy to go out on the piss tonight...

End of term night out checklist:

Stylish yet affordable summer sale bargains outfit: check
Babysitter: check
Bone-crunching tiredness: check
9, count 'em, ninemouth ulcers: check.

I love my stupid crappy thankless underpaid job, me.

Will check in tomorrow if I live...

Wino, you coming out tonight? Get the lambrini on ice, girl. Sorry about your stupid period, wretched unwanted thing.

Gosh Jars....I really hope you were joking about the 374 BFNs!!!

Any news today?

Sorry re lack of posting but I got sooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed on Sat & have been alternately recovering & hiding in shame.

I actually fell off my shoes. Twice.

Anywayyyyyy... 2 updates:

1. not pg: got period on Sunday. Bummer. Onwards & upwards, eh?

2. I had my followup appointment with my lovely consultant today and it seems I have what is basically varicose veins in my pelvis (ew!). Yay on so many fronts as it is a) a real thing and therefore, pace my shite GP, not fucking imaginary pain , b) not cancer and c) not damaging to fertility. She has also taken bloods for Day 2 & given me instructions to come back on Day 21 for more artery draining.

God, I luuuuuuuuuuurve it when doctors take things seriously. I now have a massive crush on my consultant and will try to restrain myself from looking her up on Facebook etc.

[nutter]

Right, off to eat Ferrero Rocher in bed.

Night all!

PS 374 sounded better than 7...

Scuse giant post.

How's everyone else?

LOL Jars!!! Shame on you! (Says she who has never EVER got pissed in her life )

You fell off your shoes?! See now this is why I don't wear high heels - and if you were wearing flats, can I suggest you don't admit that publicly :o

1. Bummer. Don't give up.

2. Awesome! Well, not to the varicose veins, obviously, but awesome that you got some answers. Even MORE awesome that you have a doctor who is actually doing something to help you and keeping you informed.

Ferrero Rocher in bed?! How decadent LOL! Where's mine? Oh sod it, I forgot, I'm on a diet. I'm saving up the extra calories this week cos I'm at a wedding on Saturday and I would like to have a little drink (emphasis on little as this is our weekend for SWI!). Here's hoping boyfriend doesn't get so paralytic that he falls asleep before I can jump him!

7 sounds much more sensible than 374, but obviously more boring :o

Jars, good on you for falling off your shoes. Sounds like my kind of night out!

Good news about the varicose veins, IYKWIM, even though they sound like they suck ferret balls. Not so good about the lack of upduffedness, but like desperate* says, don't give up.

• WTF is it about Mumsnet that everyone else calls it "updiffed"? Sounds like bollocks to me - you don't go round saying "I'm up the diff" do you? Am I missing something? Or is it eversoslightly wanky exclusive messageboardese, which makes the wider world think we're all total prats? Grrrr...

PS: I'll see your Ferrero Rocher, jars, and raise you Clarnico Mint Creams and a mug of hot Ribena. I know how to party, me.

Well, I am pleased to be able to report that there is at last some good feedback from Camp Miscarry. Just had a long weekend at some friends' annual mini-festival and it was rather lovely. And I am nearly finished antibiotic #3 after which I will (fingers crossed) be off the meds and all clear and normal again.

Sorry about all the unwanted periods going. Tis tres typique/ironique - I'd rather like one at the mo and my body's not even doing me the courtesy of a light spot. Ho hum.

Laters gang.

going on

bother my sweaty fingers

Blimey Fish, we're coming round yours for a party! :o

Bwahahahaha...and just tell it like it is Fish. I love you ladies, no tossing cliquey bollocks here, just straight forward trying to get shagged until we're preggers, and having a laff and the odd bottle of pop (hic) along the way. Refreshingly normal :-)

Yes, we take the whole business seriously, but there's no need to take ourselves too seriously with it :)

No, not the dying refrain of a soon to be laminated mouse.

jars awesome, gotta love a night with a shoe fall - even more awesome about pelvic veins! Very chuffed for you! Nice to finally get some answers! pass that Lambrini please love? Ta

jewels glad to hear some more positive sounded postings from you, hopefully womb will be open for business again soon.... will do my best period dance for you

fish I think you hit the nail on the head with 'eversoslightly wanky exclusive messageboardese'

desperate totally agree, refreshingly normal, well, not me but the rest of you anyway... :)

well, in my camp I had my HSG yesterday, which was a bit grim but only for a few minutes so nothing too terrible and it was good news - no blocked tubes and the dye flowed straight through my ovaries and out into the abyss that is my abdominal cavity, more clearly on one side than the other so they are sending me for an ultrasound to check my ovaries out but very pleased in teamWino!!!

right, so I'd a like a bit of what would you do if you don't mind...

Not trying to be patronising but to those who don't know a HSG an xray of womb/tubes with dye - I didn't know until I googled it!

The leaflet they gave me before and afterwards said that because of the radiation I've been exposed to we can't try again until after I've had a period (I'm currently on day 8)

However, when the lovely, down to earth, normal nurse who gave me the HSG was finishing up with me she said that the dose of radiation I had been given was less than going on a plane so she said, if I was trying to get pregnant the NHS wouldn't tell you to avoid a plane in case it affects the egg would they? She obviously wasn't allowed to tell me to ignore the leaflet but did say in a roundabout way that they are over cautious and to just crack on this month.

Now Me and MrWino are quite laidback casual souls and given our 0% success rate so far to get preggers we are thinking that we'll just carry on as normal this month and not use any contraception? Whadda you all think?????

Mmmmmm cheers for the goodies Folicacid :)

Wino, I think calling me normal would be pushing the bullshit needle close to critical given my status as a crazy person with manic depression, but thanks for the vote of confidence :o

Thanks for the clarification on the HSG. Didn't have a scooby what that was until you explained it. Sounds like the nurse was talking sense. If it was me I'd probably go on shagging like it was going out of fashion if it's less than going on a plane.

Jars is rather quiet...do you think there are more stories coming out from her night of falling off her shoes?!

Jewels - good news and as Wino says, let's hope womb decides to stay playing the game properly from now on.

yay! thanks folic nice to see ya, hope all is well?

Folic! How's pregsville? You must be cruising towards third trimester now, no? Anyways, v good to see you.

Wino WWID? I'd go for it. My attitude to risk assessment may sometimes be a little laissez faire, but that really doesn't sound very risky. Mr j&b and I haven't used contraception on the (admittedly few) occasions we've got down since the erpc.

Hey y'all,

Preggerville is a good town on the whole, have some complications and a couple of hossie stays but just trying to chill and waddle on through. Just 13 weeks to go.

Jewels sorry to see about your shite time at the moment, I wouldn't dare say anything about vomit inducing baby dust but hope it comes right for you again soon.

Wino I concur with my learned friend here on the right, the nurse was clearly telling you it would be fine and air stewards get up the pole all the time and don't think twice

Folic! Where, apart from hospital, have you beeeeeeeen?

Hope all is okay chez Acid & all 3 of you are fit & well. Just one question: what the frel is saffron gin? It sounds interesting.

Wino, I say go for it. But then I don't get enough at the moment so am biased...

No more shoe stories, but had to explain huge elbow scab at work today as was wearing a short sleeved top. Oh dear.

Jewels, good to hear from you & glad you're sounding a wee bit better.

Got to go, Wok This Way won't phone itself & order kung po chicken for tea without me, you know. and neither will DH.

Happy Friday all, hold out your champers flutes!

folic glad to hear all ok, 13 weeks, yikes that will go pronto! Hope it is dinstinctly uneventful and dull for you. Oh and as jars asked - saffron gin? eh?

Don't get me wrong, it's got the word gin in it so it's got to be nice...

Thanks for opinions all, I knew you'd say go for it but just had to ask you know? Watch out mrWino...

jars my mother who rarely eats takeaway or anything remotely naughty (how dull) has just discovered kung po chicken at her local chinese and is currently trying to eat the country out of it so order fast whilst it remains!

oh, and if you found anything on folic, bagsy sharing!

Hope you all have nice weekends planned.

Wino, I agree that saffron gin sounds gorgeous. Saffron - check. Gin - check. The only potential problem I can see is that I have a teensy drink spillage tendency (yeah, and a a shoe/pavement balance issue, very funny) after the first medicinal shot of anything and am worried that it might stain, but on the plus side, after the second shot I don't usually care any more about that sort of thing.

Anyway, ha! to your mum, in the nicest way possible, because she totally failed to snag my kung po chicken last night and it was lurvely. All your takeaway is belong to me! [nerd emoticon] Do please high five her for me and tell her she has excellent taste in Chinese food (and it's probably also quite healthy, considering, with all those veggies in).

I might have won an iPad2 - just waiting for confirmation from MNHQ...

Anyone else doing "trailing round tile and flooring shops" this weekend? Oh yes - the kitchen is GO!

Oi Jars...how come only Folic gets a snog?!

Mr Desperate had better watch out this weekend as I seem to be ovulating...bwahahahaha! Sounds like Mr Wino is in for a similar treat :o

I'm at an outdoor wedding tomorrow - here's hoping it doesn't piss it down, but as it's in fields and woods, there's always a chance later on in the proceedings to drag Mr Desperate into the woods for a quick fondle LOL! Not that I wouldn't do that anyway, ovulating or not. I really should probably start acting my age and not my shoe size...it's not my fault he makes me behave like a rampant teenager everytime I see him

I think I need a or two if we're having vino this early ladies, cos I'm at work and it really doesn't do to be hiccuping at one's desk :o

See, this is why you don't need a snog...

Not that Folic needs one either, but it had been a while since she was around, you get me?

If I acted my shoe size I would be happily playing in the water tray or the wendy house instead of work avoiding on here. I so want to do painting instead of filing and marking.

Good luck with the ovulating: go, follicles, go! I am not on the egg this week but have been instructed by the doc to jump my husband every 2-3 days. Not going well so far: "Bugger off, dear". Oh well.

Hey! You can never have too many snogs, I say - and this is why one of the reasons Mr Desperate despairs of me

I gave up channelling any kind of yoof a very looooong-ass time ago, although my mate is very much 'down wiv da kids'. Ok, I'll stop that now before I embarrass myself so much that I'll need to find another forum to bother folk on

See when I was my actual shoe size (5, in case it matters), I was pulling the heads off dollies that well-meaning rellies thought I wanted. When my brother came along and was old enough to have Action Men, however, I had MUCH more fun setting fire to them with him :o

Don't worry Jars, I get "Bugger off dear" too...You'd think that given he's 14 years younger than me that he'd have the energy to keep up, but oh no! But these things are sent to try us and I've told him quite plainly that even if that's the only bit of him that's awake, I shall take advantage of it regardless of whether or not the rest of him catches up! :o

Well, if you put it like that...

Innit.