Shh! Don't tell anyone, but the whisky-sodden, foulmouthed, Silk Cut smoking, 30 something etc TTCers are hiding from babydust under a mound of wine bottles - come & join us!

[openerofjars]

And there we go...

Shiny, winy (but never whiny) new thread!

Come on in then, settle down and pass the gin. No baby dust, no huns and no fecking glue, just lethal combinations of dodgy duty free and the confidence to use the word PERIOD required.

Awwww :)

OK, so that's not a very good look for me.

God I'm piss bored. I'd like to go home right now, but I can't, cos I'm off to Mr D's this weekend. We really do need to move in together, this is getting silly LOL! But we're so broke we can't afford to - and yet I'm thinking baby...feckin' hormones! :o

Yo ladies!
How you doing?
Great to hear from you folic - good luck for the next 13 or so weeks.
jars loving the nerd joke, i am a fully certified geek so virtually high fiving your nerdiness.
jewels you finished the bastard ABs? Hope they made you better and you're feeling otherwise ok.
Hello to wino desperate loopy and fish. Also think the nurse lady was defo advising you to not postpone the shagging!

I've been to weddings so offer trays of canapes and buckets of champers and pimms. To be drunk whilst wearing uncomfortable shoes, on an empty stomach and standing out in the midday sun. It has been amusing being the only sober one for once.

Good luck for sexy times - as always may your wombs be full of spunk.

Saffron Gin is the dogs. It's a tasty gin that I buy only on occasion due to it's dearness. It's kinda herby and assume it must have saffron in it, it is saffron coloured and makes you feel aw sofistikated an that. Oh yeah.

I've kinda not been anywhere really. I was in a wee preggo bubble when all I could think about was staying pregnant and going to bed at like 8pm every night exhausted and then been in a work hell really. Finish up in 8 weeks though Would have stayed on longer but I'm working so hard I need to stop and have some time off before baby arrives. Fuck em. Got box sets to watch maaaaan.

Morning ladies. Me post coming up, sorry...

Shit weekend. Mr Desperate and I nearly split up on Saturday night/Sunday morning and after shagging for England this weekend I'm really hoping I'm actually NOT pregnant as I'm not sure if we would survive a pregnancy on top of the problems which have now reared their heads. Feeling utterly depressed and the last place I want to be right now is at work. I'm sleep-deprived and in turmoil.

Sorry ladies. Just needed to get this off my chest. I'm going to go and crawl under my desk now and drink coffee to try and keep myself awake.

Hope everyone else is OK. Hand over some of those Malteasers Folic...

Bollocks, desperate that's really horrible. Do you need a nosebag for those maltesers? More importantly, do you want to talk about it? IME TTC is guaranteed to put the dampers on your love life. DH & I keep having to remember to be actively nice to each other as a matter of course rather than default to "aggrieved whining".

Oh, to be, say, 7 years old again, just for a couple of hours. Being a grownup is too bloody hard sometimes, hence the saffron gin.

A nosebag for the malteasers would be lovely Jars.

Well, he did the whole "I don't want to get married, not even for you, and I don't want to have a baby". He's freaking out and I really would rather keep him than have a baby (I think). This is the longest relationship he's had - he admitted he's in over his head and doesn't know how to cope. Being that I'm so many years older and have had a fair few long-term relationships, I can understand and sympathise with him. My only problem is that in 5 years time if he decides he DOES actually want a baby, I won't be able to give him one and I certainly won't want one at 49 in any case! But then there's always the chance that we will still fall apart anyway, and then I won't have him or a baby. Ah fuckitty fuck fuck fuck!

OK, aggrieved whining over with. We have talked and things are better, but if a baby suddenly drops into this mix, then I have little doubt things will go almightily tits up! :(

And the love life is fine...well, the sex life is anyway.

Sorry, another feckin' me post. I'm going to make a large cup of tea and wallow in it :o

But thanks Jars, I appreciate the caring response, really I do. I'm off round Folic's now to watch box sets and drink saffron gin (well at least one of us can!)...LOL!

Afternoon all!

rara glad to hear from you, hope all is well

folic hope the 8 weeks fly by then you can flip the bird to your office! Am going to keep my eye out for Saffron gin sounds

desperate sorry to hear that, sounds cack, you can't wallow in tea, it's too hot and you'll burn your lady garden... here, have a bucket of gin instead, that's much safer..

jars being 7 would be fab! My first port of call would be that absolutely bright red cherryade you used to get, oh and some 5p highland toffee...

Stupidly googled about hsgs and found lots of suggestions that having one can increase your fertility for the 3 months following it and have even more stupidly now spent the morning day dreaming about maternity clothes, names and how I will tell dh that I'm pregnant with twins, one girl, one boy etc etc etc

Idiot! Have slapped myself round the face don't worry...

Next month we will have been trying for a year - and I know that's not as long as some of you at all but it kind of feels sad pyschologically if that makes sense? I have always been able to say when people have asked oh we've been trying for less than a year and a bit scared I won't be able to say that anymore :(

obviously unless my twins turn up this month :)

right, who fancys a margherita? Haven't had one in a while and I feel the need for something with a bit of bite!

Hey gang. Just popping in to say hey and clink a consolatory glass with desperate. Sounds tough, dude. Sympathies. I hope you can work it to a resolution that doesn't feel too much like a compromise.

On my me-me-me news, the upward trajectory continues (sort of). I'm off the drugs, back on the booze, I think I might be starting to get a bit periody (CD 102 so I'm bloody due one) AND my place hasn't been looted or set on fire. Yet.

Oh and I too have done googling that says I am terrifyingly fertile post MC so will race you to the twins wino.

Peace and love.

Evenin'
Hope you've all avoided the looting and thieving. A friend texted me last night to say she'd been barricaded inside a Sainsburys in Balham on her way home from work. Said she was just disappointed she hadnt made it to the Waitrose nearby!

Sorry to hear of weekend desperate - blokes can be shit sometimes. I hope you guys can work it out so you're both happy.

Good luck, Bon chance and viel Gluck with the shagging jewels and wino. Doing a little ovum dance for you...

Hello everyone else - hope you're well.

jewels 'terrifyingly fertile' - sounds awesome! Hold onto your hat mrj&b!!! Fingers crossed for period soon, now this may be a bit TMI but I have found that when DH 'rings my bell' so to speak this has helped to hurry along my period- I have noticed the morning after that it has started?

I seem to have avoided looting/fire so far but I have a lot of burnt warehouse residue in my garden where the wind has carried it so I will need to clear it up tonight (when I say me, obviously I mean DH)

Right jewels feet on the starting shagging blocks, ready, get set, GO

fingers crossed for a draw eh? :)

Cheers Jewels and rara. You ladies rule. Wino, I'm not too sure that gin will be any better for my lady garden, but then I suppose it would bypass the whole getting blisters on me fanjo from the hot tea :o

Mr Desperate and I are talking and as long as I don't mention the "marriage" word, things should be ok. Then again, if on 22nd my period doesn't arrive, we could have a whole other issue to deal with! I'm so torn. I do still want to have a baby, and I want HIS baby, but if he's going to freak out like that again, I just can't cope with it.

No looting and thieving where I'm living, which is nice :)

Hello!

I didn't mean to be gone so long..time kinds of runs away from me sometimes.

I haven't read back fully - there's a lot to read - but I have seen some posts and I'm sorry for what happened to you Jewel. There is apparently a fertility spike post-MC (as well as post-birth if you don't breastfeed) so I hope you get those twins soon.

For myself, I am expecting triplets. Well, the pregnancy tests are +ve, and I ovulated 3 eggs this month..

OK, technically-speaking I had 3 large follicles at my last scan and I took a trigger shot of HCG on Saturday hence the +ve tests...but there is a rule of 'pregnant until proven otherwise' and I'm going with that this month. It'll be a couple of weeks before the 'fake' HCG leaves my system - in the meantime, it's nice to see some +ve tests, even if they are fake!

I had a completely irresponsible booze fest on Saturday - my best ones all bit the dust (Cloudy Bayx2 and some lovely Margaret River Shiraz). £80 worth of wine in one night. Hangover was definitely earned..

yay sherry welcome back. fake-triplets count! we're going to have a one-thread population explosion at this rate.

foolish wino to give tips to the competition. I'm off home now to eat me some pies (priority one) and then use the pastry high to sex wow mr j&b so as to coax period along (either that or fall asleep in front of telly).

clarification of potential ambiguity. I meant use the energy in the pies to fuel my sexy-ladee-skillz, not do bad things with the actual pies.

I aint a perv or nuffin.

Hi there ladies,

Sorry for the radio silence. I've just been sooooooo FUCKING tired. Not sick though, which is a blessing. (Or not - I could murder a pint, and I'm sure if I was feeling barfy I'd be put off it.)

Desperate, I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties with Mr Desperate. I hope things work out OK.

For the rest of you, tonight's cocktail is gin and ginger beer. Try it if you don't believe me that it's nice. Me, I'm having a mug of hot Vimto and a pack of mini cheddars. Rock and roll.

Oh fan-twatting-tastic - the cat has just yakked up a hairball on the armchair. Scuse me....

Nice to see ya Fish! I could murder a pint too...of vodka! See ya in the virtual pub this afternoon? Pie and chips with it? :)

Ah, it's ok. We'll get there. Though as I'm now in the 2WW, I'm sort of in deep trepidation at actually being pregnant, when it is in fact what I want. I just don't want to lose wobbling fella at the same time, cos I do love him, despite the wobbles!

Gin and ginger beer sounds lovely! Tequila and ginger beer is good too (although don't use the good stuff) :o

Mmmmm, I remember hairballs from when I had cats. Can't say I miss it.

Off for a now, and if I could only remember to bring a bottle of something alcofrolic into work, I could add a livener to it LMAO :)

I gotta period! A bit tentative and insipid but its definitely a period.

Game ON.

hey sherry nice to hear from you! fingers crossed for triple sherries eh?! I salute you for your dedication to wine, cloudy bay = yuuuum! not heard of the other but am going to look it up!

YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEE for a period (not often you say that on this thread!) Come on the j&b womb! Let the terrifying begin!!!

Did you do the sex???? Told you the sexing works! Though I do think you protest too much about the pies dirtbag.....

Glad to hear about the lack of vom fish Ginger beer with booze sounds good ladies...

I got my peak egg sign thingy on my piss computer today so woke mr wino by jumping him at 6.15 this morning - he was well chuffed! (and half asleep to begin with)

Now in the 2ww too - virtual pub sounds good desperate, can I have a chicken and mushroom pie, oh actually a mince beef and onion one. Oh actually feck it, give me both....

Mmm pies..!

I make a lovely cheese and onion pie...calorie bomb with fat and fat and fat in it, as well as some onions. Mmm.

jewels, great news that your plumbing is now all functioning tidy like. Will you be availing yourself of the piss computer? (C) wino 2011, all rights reserved. Or will you just follow the "shag every 3 days" advice? Never could manage that myself; if I wasn't too tired, Mr F&J usually was....

Mmmmm, pies. I love pies. In fact I love them so much I would use them as a sex aid. Not sweet pies though - savoury ones. I used to live near a bakery where they made a heavenly pie; cheese, potato, onion and bacon in a pastry case, with a crunchy savoury crumble topping. 'Twas verily the mutt's. I miss it so. At least now in our village, there's a farm shop which makes its own minced beef pasties. Mmmmmmm...

Cheese, potato, onion and bacon?! Ok, I would not kick that pie out of bed.

Thanks for the womb cheerleading my lovelies. I have a felt a little bit sad about it, but it does also feel like a marker of returning normality.

I'm in the 2 week "oh my god" wait. If I AM pregnant, it could ruin my relationship with the way things are right now, but then I can't say I'd be sad about being pregnant cos it IS what I want. Ooooh, so confused!

I'm not sure a pie in bed is a good idea jewels, spesh if it has just come out of the oven! :o

Returning normality is good honey...once you know where you are again, then you can jump on Mr J&B with intent :)

Bollocks. Spotting and cramps. May be nothing but my GP is doing HCG levels today and Monday. Just gotta sit tight I guess!

fish ah bollocks, that sounds like utter cack, hope all is ok and at least gp is doing what they should, will be thinking of ya

Oh fish. Fingers crossed here too.