Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

He he hippy excellant.it's Soo hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes when I see all these smug pg women .... It would be So lovely to say whatever I wanted and let them know the reality.

lou I know what you mean. They just have no clue of what could go wrong and spend their time blissfully unaware (and worrying about the size of the nose!)

I have to say that for my first 2 pregs I was pretty confident and didn't really expect too much to go wrong and fortunately I was right. Although my horrid GP at the time told me at my very first visit that i was more likely to MC due to my endometriosis and laproscapies. His charming prediction was wrong though!

Ahh well, lets hope she doesn't actually mention the nose thing to me directly. I might be tempted to tell her what I (and you ) think!

diege - fear not it's more of a 'biscuit' but i thought that sounded a bit pretentious ...!

bought some logs as well when i was out - think we might need a delivery but these sacks will keep us going for a while

welcome Porth and desty ( i think we are the same age)

i am obsessing about OPKs now that i am not obsessing about the clearblue conception indicator tools of doom any more ...

aaargh - get over yourself 40somemum

So much to catch up on. Hippy, sorry RTD found you. And Spotty, so sorry you are no longer on the bench. I'm keeping it warm for you. My arse is so large I can keep it warm for about 10 of you!

Sorry can't remember everything I have read, so will just say a general hello,, and good luck to everyone, no matter where they are at.

lunatic, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I hope your little one can hold on til 34 weeks, and that you'll feel better soon.

Well...5 weeks today, looking forward to 6 weeks, then, 7,8,9,etc...Geez I wish I could fast forward. It is so difficult to enjoy this time. I saw my acupuncturist last night. She says, just relax and enjoy the fact that you are pregnant(she obviously didn't read the stats!!)

Incidently, for you ladies who get H.G., Dolphina, my acupuncturist, told me she is treating a lady who is normally hospitalized in the first tri with hg, but this time (5th preg at 41) is coping with twice weekly acupuncture sessions.

Acupuncture is not for everyone, but I really believe it has helped me in so many ways, including getting pregnant.

How early can you detect a heartbeat on a scan? I'm not sure when to go see my GP and arrange it. Also,, don't want to have to have the wand thingy up my whatsit, so how early do they do an abdominal scan?

I think a scan might help with the anxiety, but maybe it'll make it worse??

Hippy, I can understand how you feel about the coworker and the "nose" on the scan. Bloody hell, i wish people would think about what they say. Being on this thread has certainly taught me a thing or two about taking things for granted. I am embracing my morning sickness and fatigue, welcoming it and asking it to stay, I know how lucky I am to be preg right now.

Tank, thanks for the group hug, I need it too!How are you feeling? Have you had an early scan at all?

Chocolate brownies for everyone if you want one....

gum i know it seems like an age at the beginning. one day at a time, sweetie.

Not sure how early you can have just the abdominal scan (I've had dildo cam 3 times this year!!!) You can see a heartbeat from about 6 +3 ish but I think that is only with dildo-cam.

XXX

looney good to hear from you. 24 weeks is wonderful. Keep plodding along. Sorry to hear you're see-through.

gum my consultant said the earliest time to have a scan is 7 weeks onwards. With Georgie I held out ( god knows how ! ) to 8 weeks as I couldn t have stood it for me to go and be told " mmm.... We might be able to see a heartbeat we might not . Come back in a week" I too have had dildo cam each time I ve had mcs , actually didn t need it with Georgie. Can only imagine how slow time is vaguely remember with Georgie in jan/ feb this year how it dragged and how I nearly ended up a basket case. Omg it ll be a trillion times worse next time !!!!

hippy you go girl give her a good old slap!!! Oh wouldn t it be lovely if you could actually do what you really wanted to instead of having to act properly and correctly??!!!

I too used to have accunpuncture up to about 5 months ago. Really enjoyed it , don t think it made any difference to me conceiving I just enjoyed it. Going to try reflexology soon. Anyone tried it ?

Hi lunatic sounds like you re plodding on well. Good. Not long now fx for you xx

Night, night all sleep tight xx

Hello everyone. 40 years old (how?) ttc. Have completely gone off sex. Is this normal? It's not spectacularly helpful if it is.

mmetracyt I guess it is par for the course, if you have to do something you kind of resent it don't you!

Louise rose wine, please, and are you doing food? Sorry to hear about your infection. I know it is awful rude to make jokes but when you said you needed to give a water sample I wanted to say 'It's meant to be urine not water!" Scrap that, or I won't get my wine!

Hippy chin up, next month is a new month. When DD was in the womb they did a scan and said her legs were a bit short. I was dead worried. When it is your first baby you tend to expect it all to be perfect! But yes, annoying when colleagues or friends talk about baby's nose!

Lunatuc all the best and thinking of you.

Diege how are you?

Jolls is that sea air bracing and are you OK?

Gum, fortysomemum, Muchlove and all.

Well, me, irony! I got offered the second job, which I did not want as much as the first BUT amazingly in the minutes after I got the offer and heard the news I felt this amazing sense of peace and I realised I was totally happy to get the second job and at peace not to get the first. The money was more with the first job but it would have meant more pressure! With fertility treatment looming in march (I hope) which is just 4 months away! Yay, almost 4! I certainly don't want to be job hunting then. So staying in the place I work in a new role which is also temporary is fine, I will get my redundancy money if I eventually go and so I am not having to learn a new place and new people but just a new job within that place, which is fine. Does that make sense! Nothing to do with babies!

Gosh Lunatic all sounds quite scary, though also that you're getting all the care and monitoring you need. I still have the consultant's 'no guarantees till they're out' ringing in my ears, reinforced by everything I've read recently but oddly I'm seeing that quite positively now, cherishing it all and feeling zero guilt for taking a rest when there's loads of things to do but my body is demanding it. Not that I'm not pretty hectic in last few weeks at work but somehow keeping the baby in mind is reducing my stress levels. Just do what's best. That's rather a long winded way of saying I hope you're finding some calm and that all turns out well, thinking of you.

Gum I had an abdominal scan with this one at 8+5. Earlier this year had a 7+4 which was dildocam. It can all depend though on position of uterus and how full your bladder is whether they can see well enough with transabdominal scans. But have heard quite a few others who waited till after 8wks and avoided the dildocam. Thinking of you and Tank on the bench, those early few weeks take soooo long to get through!
Congrats on the job IGH, I love that feeling when you just know something's been the right decision.

Diege and Spotty, you're both sounding remarkably upbeat, but big hugs anyway because I remember how I felt in the same situation.

Beattie, my DH was so sure we should have no more kids after DS he had a vasectomy... I absolutely know how hideously depressing it can be if you badly want something you just can't have. I hope you can make your peace with the decision, or if you find you just want it too much you are able to convince him how much it means to you. (my DH not a monster, it had been a joint decision before DS arrived, but then the broodiness and hormones kicked in again for me which I really hadn't expected. Thankfully he eventually realised quite how much it meant to me...)

Hippy I don't care if DS2 has a big nose (high chance in our family anyway!), babies all look like Winston Churchill and we all love them more than anything on earth despite that. Still hoping for your Xmas bfp.

Jolls, are you getting closer to moving out of rented house into your own? I seem to recall it was only short term? And are you going to take fab job? I imagine it's an exciting but pretty scary prospect... First day back after mat leave was scarier than first day at a new school... Hope the fear isn't putting you off (it fades quite fast). It would indeed be quite likely to tempt fate onthe getting pregnant front too!

Wave to Lia, hectic this week but see you soon once work all finished...

Louise, here's to a good day today. It's sunny, hope that helps?

Stop it !!!! italian being naughty or else you re be sent to the naughty chair!!!! Glad you ve made a decision about your job that your happy with.

Hi mmetraceyt it does all become a bit tiresome at times .such a shame , another casualty of this bloody ttc lark.

Hi to all ; jolls , gum, 40somemum , hippy and anyone I ve missed.

Going to spend some money I haven t got to kill some time. My whole life seems to have become about " wasting/ killing" time. How did that happen? Oh yes I know since Georgie died not a lot of it makes any sense any more

Morning A bit of a 'difficult' evening yesterday as dh has said he's getting cold feet and thinks maybe we should stop with what we've got What is it with these men? . Am just sitting it out at the moment, as I know to start trying to launch an offensive is the worst thing I could do at this point. It think it might be linked into fears he has about work though, so the softly softly approach might work...
Gum I managed to hold out till a scan at 8 wks with ds as I too feared the 'having to come back a week later' scenario. All sounding very positive with the sickness anyway xx
Hippy I would have been so cross with the scan comments from your colleague . I have always baulked at people like that, having never had a scan where they haven't seen 'soft markers'/ordered an amnio. In fact I am in 2 minds whether to have any scans at all (though of course I will) so fearful am I of them. Anyway, I digress! I really hope we can be bump buddies this time round
Louise hope you're ok - I know this coming month will be particularly difficult for you- remember we're always here for you xxx
Hi Alba, hopefully my dh will come round as your's did - just a bit hard to take as the one thing that has got me through the last fortnight has been the thought that we could try again straight away.
Hi Italian that's great news about the job, and that it feels so right. Congratulations!
Big hello to everyone else I've not mentioned. Full day of teaching beckons so back later tonight probably!

Hi all. I am going to sit with GalwayGirl in the cheerleader squad for now, but just saw your post diege . bloody men, don't they know how much it messes with our minds making these statements? My dh says the same, and is also very worried about having baby with a disability etc - says we have been very fortunate so far and should count our blessings.

so I barely spoke to my dh for 2 days, I was just wondering how he could make that decision at all if he loved me. (I know that wasn't totally rational by the way), and was pretty much hating him for doing that. He is now wavering a bit, but actually that is nearly as bad. he keeps bloody changing his mind which is not doing anything for my sanity. I also don't really want to do this if he is dead set against it, although I know he wouldn't regret it if we did have another baby.

I don't even know how to opt out of this - It will be very difficult for me not to be aware of when I'm ovulating that's for sure. and by coincidence we are supposed to be going away for the weekend round about that time. we would usually be quite active [god knows why im being coy here!) when we're away. (perhaps he will produce some condoms at the appropriate time and I will punch him maybe?) so yes, it's all a mess here.

Welcome to the new people porth tracy detsy.

spotty sorry you're off the bench - hopefully not for long.

louise I can't imagine how hard it is for you, I really hope you get up-duffed soon, although I can see that won't make everything alright.

hippy I would be your cycle buddy if I was doing that ttc business but I'm not of course, so I won't be. (iysim).

I can't type anymore my hands are too cold and I am wearing gloves, but hello to everyone else on the bench, off the bench and in the cheerleading squad with me!

I've got to have dildo cams every other day for a whole cycle if I go ahead with the follical tracking. I quite like them when there's no foetus to track/see. I could get quite into looking at my follicles!

Not that I'm doing that of course as I'm not ttc anymore, oh no.

Hi BB . I know what you mean about the changing minds thing being even worse...My dh's current line is his age, but he has also thrown finances/future possible illness/university fees, and of course the classic 'why push our luck??' line into the mix. I spoke to him a few mins ago on the phone and raised it again, and sense there may be a possible thawing, but no time soon. So I will wait...sod's law I've got EWM today too! Hoping your weekend away is maybe a turning point? Know what you mean about practically not getting pregnant anyway when we're so aware of our bodies..

Hi Beattie and diege . know totally where you re both coming from. Pre Georgie it was me doing all the pushing for a child my dh was very happy with our life ; holidays and going out etc...at times it was very stressful as I knew when I was ovulating and would have to coerce / beg/ entice ant for sex and it did become ttc sex nothing more and I found it all very stressful and know I put demands on ant. But this time is totally different and Anthony is totally on board he said it all came together for him when he held Georgie ( which I knew it would and told him so !!!) and he wants another child as much as I do he even asked me last week when I was ovulating !!!! Now , that's a step too far !!!! Hi alba hope you re well ?

hi Louise we had a cycle recently where dh wanted to know every detail of my temp/opks etc. It was just Too Much Information for him to deal with. I won't be doing that again that's for sure!

diege my dh is worried about his work, about money, about our retirement, etc etc. I can see his rationale, and just have to hope he comes through it by next week

oh and hippy I know what you were saying about deja vu too - i had just got pg this time last year, and was facing Christmas with a bfp and sickness. I went away with dh for his birthday last year too and had heartburn after the meal and felt sick and then I knew. I also went to the school disco (which is this friday) and had to refuse drink surrepticiously. it's very odd being in that place again.

BB Just love the image of you two getting fruity and Dh producing condoms and you decking him!!! Serves him right if he did do it.

I think it's just easier for men to be rational about stuff and yes we will all be fast approaching 60 when these babies grow up and yes university fees, old age, high risk etc ... it's all true but the fact is us women bloody well want another baby!!

i am very lucky that my DH is totally on board and he wants another one as much as me. Not that he did to begin with but I thnk he does now. He just keeps saying it'll happen when it happens!! (I don't think he realises how freakin' old I am!)

The young girl at work is doing my nut in!!! They were all teasing her about her baby's nose and she said, "Don't, i'm really sad today!"

Why? they all asked.

"Well my friend yeah, whose like 1 week behind me in her pregnancy yeah..."

At this point I thought she was gonna say her friend had lost her baby and it had scared her, so i was ready to be nice.

then she says"...Well she had her scan yesterday right, and she's like having a girl and I like don't know what mine is cos i wanted a surprise and it's just like so unfair!!!"

i swear i'm gonna get that girl!

Then the 2 preggos decided they would both try drinking fanta cos it makes the baby dance about so they did a little experiment.

I know, I know, they're young and it's their first pregnancies etc. But it's fucking hard not to be jealous.

Anyway, hello to everyone on the bench. hello to those whose hubbies are being utter gits and saying they want to stop. And hello to everyone else.

Ps. TTc sex does tend to make you go off sex mmetracyt - we do try to keep it fun as well but at the end of the day, as italian says - it's doing it when you don't necessarily want to instead of doing it cos you feel horny! welcome to our gang, lovey.

BB I would love to keep being cycle buddies with you if you do manage to sort this out with DH.

Even the snow being forecast is reminding me of last year. I got my BFP on the first day it snowed. Thinking of you BB.

hi all
did a big name check post yesterday and it bloody vanished... was so cross I logged off.

Ok what did I say...
Bench bods: gentle arm squeezes for Tank and Gum - think dildocam used always before about 7 weeks and sometimes afterwards. One of the reasons I put off an early scan was fear of dildo cam, but they are TOTALLY fine. In fact I giggle when I have one (BB, have had 2 at the clinic and am already getting a reputation...!). Massive bearhug for Spotty x

BB and Diege - so sorry you are both in such a limbo land, my DP only had to say the other day that he was really happy with our DS and if we didn't have another it'd be fine by him (said mainly as I was looking tearful about our chances of #2, and I think he was trying to make me feel better) and I was crushed, so can imagine how you must be feeling :(

going to post this and pop back for part II later

beattiebow - I had follicle tracking for dc4 and you get sooo blasé about the internal scans .....a couple of m/cs later i am a bit nervy again but at the time was so chilled

I love that i saw him as a follicle!!

beattiebow - I had follicle tracking for dc4 and you get sooo blasé about the internal scans .....a couple of m/cs later i am a bit nervy again but at the time was so chilled

I love that i saw him as a follicle!!

sorry about that - tired!