Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Morning All. Bloody men - it's their natural instinct to worry about providing for their family and another child in the mix is always a worry to them. I know what it is like with my DH.He's the same. It took three miserable years for him to turn around and have his vasectomy reversed, and all the while saying "I don't really want another, I want to travel, have money,retire,blah,blah,blah", but once he realized he'd be doing that with a bitter,sad wife, he decided it wasn't worth it!

And now, seeing him with DS is just lovely.He adores him.

The news of this pregnancy has hit him a bit hard though! He's already planning house renovations.It's his way of coping.However I don't really see any renos going on as we have NO MONEY! And I won't be going back in July (if all goes well).

I think I shall wait for 8 weeks for the scan. At least by then I'll be able to see the heartbeat. Fingers crossed I'll make it that far. I do have a good feeling about it, but I'm not sure that my intuition is always right...I'm not feeling sick at the moment, but I still have the yucky taste in the mouth and the nausea comes and goes.It's worse when I'm tired in the evening.

It's funny to think of it snowing over there, the sun is shining and it'll be a beach day for us. (smile)

right
part II, sorry DS was poorly today and needed lots of TLC, he was asleep on my lap when I started typing before, and he woke up...

right hippy sorry about insensitive eejits. I know lots of them. Grrr.

lunatic great to hear from you, am thinking of you as I can imagine it's all a bit kwhdwdhoiudyhkajsckhadhs.

alba thanks for your lovely thoughts; am in the temp rental til at least end Feb; and the joiner we'd hoped to use to put the stairs in (useful in a four storey house) has gone a bit flaky on dates. Hmmm, useful. So may slip back one month, but I hope not.

Italian hmmm, job dilemmas; glad yours working out, have no blimmin idea what to do about mine. Am being Octavia Ostrich about it all at the mo.

detsy welcome; nice to see you. I had DS at 40 (concieved at 39) and the first of my MMCs was 41/41, so am wistfully cheered by your situation IYSWIM .

Have probably missed stuff - apologies if I have.

My best friend has her CP this weekend (civil partnership) so am very excited. It starts on Friday night. A friend is having DS for the afternoon on Sat, so am planning to let my hair down. Apart from nursery no one has had DS for an afternoon ever (he's 2y6m tomorrow!).

Right must go to bed.
x

Hello! Well looks like things are back on track and dh is back on message . I think he does have his concerns, as I do myself if I'm totally honest, but it is something deep down that we both want and would regret at least trying for this final baby. Hoping you have similar luck BB - it really is a horrid place to be in. All the same, I think I'll keep my any symptoms etc to myself and try and keep the whole thing low key etc...
Gum wow that 3 days must have been stressful for dh's reversal - how did you get through that? 8 weeks sounds a good time to have a scan - no coming back and checking etc. I have a strong feeling all will be well x
Jollster enjoy the CS! My friends tied the know last summer and it was a really great day. In fact I've been to more CS's than conventional weddings, and I must say they seem far more relaxed and enjoyable (though I'm sure there are exceptions!)
Inspired now to diet, so having a healthy lunch and may have a look ay the davina dvd that is yet to be opened
LOve to all x

Arghh Gum I meant 3 years . Wishful thinking eh!

Thanks everyone. It's loads of info to take in. This is only the second month this go that it hasn't worked (lost first to T13 last year). As well as being a bit disappointed, it's another month to lose a couple of pounds, get a bit fitter, and work out what vits I should be taking. If anyone can be arsed please advise, people keep handing me packets of vits saying TAKE THESE. In my 20s, that might have been fine, but I'm very wary about what I put in my body now. Ha!

I think dh will be fine actually as long as we don't talk about it, have no discussions and I don't allude to ovulation at all. I haven't got to that time yet, so no idea whether he'll shut up shop then or not. hey ho!

tracy there are lots of vits that you could take! I think some people on here take the Marilyn Glenville (Glanville?) ones which are expensive but tailored to ttc. Zita West has a similar multi-vit too I think.

I spent ages reading the conception boards here and ended up with a cocktail of different ones which were meant to extend my luteal phase - vit b6, agnus castus, epo. I also took folic acid - a fairly high dose. I'm not taking them at the moment (because I'm taking some time out) but I know people do think they work. The EPO made me a bit mad so I stopped taking that.

Then there are various other supplements which Gum knows more about I think! I don't do anything either - just dither around and then decide against them as I worry that they'll mess my cycle up.

Diege I wish my dh was as positive as yours! hope you got some swi in while you are in the vest stage!

jolls hope you have a good wedding. I think my ds is about a month older than yours. Such a cute age isn't it?

hippy at the risk of advocating violence, I would be tempted to punch your colleague next time she makes such inane comments. People don'tknow how lucky they are do they? Then again I had my first when I was 27/28 and blithely sailed through the whole thing.

40somemum Yes, I can imagine that I would be brought down to earth with a bump if I went in for a dildocam in early pregnancy. I can't imagine how stressful being pg again will be for me if I ever do get there.

Anyway back to work now. Its blimmin freezing here!

I'll just drop a list of what I've been taking. Who knows if it helped me conceive, but I'm sure it didn't hurt:
folic acid - 1500 cgm
Blackmore's breastfeeding and pregnancy gold multi-V
Royal Jelly
Co Q 10
Super B complex (better to take the B6 in a complex)
2000 fish oil

Then in a smoothie I'd have: Vital greens, Maca powder, L-arganine powder and colloidal minerals, in freshly squeezed orange juice.I also added fresh grapefruit juice in the lead up to ovulation for cervical mucus, but never did get much in the way of egg whites, so used pre-seed.

I'm continuing with the folic acid, fish oil, b complex and multi as well as the smoothie. Apparently the maca helps regulate hormones and will keep progesterone levels up if they are low.So I guess it can't hurt during the first trimester.And it is a super food, so it might help with energy.

My energy is pretty low, but I am still BF my LO.Mainly at nap time and bed-time, but also through the night. God knows how I'll wean him before this baby comes along. I'm just taking one day at a time. I suppose there will come a time when I'll have to wean him if he doesn't do it himself.I have heard plenty of women say that their milk dried up later in the pregnancy.So we'll see...

Yes, Deige those three years were a bit hell. At one point we thought we might have to separate. Now we are stronger than ever. I sometimes wonder what might have happened had he not had the reversal, but there's no point in thinking about it.

I had one of those weird pregnancy dreams (actually a bit disturbing) where I was having a scan and there were three babies, but one was ill and wouldn't make it.The awful sonographer said, "It's likely when that one miscarries, you'll lose the lot". What a horrible dream! I do not know what I'd do if I were told there's two in there? Like everything, I'd just have to take one day at a time!

I hope everyone is okay. Hippy, are you at vest stage???

just a quick one from me as I am in a coffee break from a meeting.

I am on cd8 (or possibly 9) - have got bloody cm, (sorry tmi) does anyone know why this might be? I don't think I am close to ov (and my secret cbfm test this morning doesn't show I am either).

am worrying about having cervical cancer now.

hope everyone is ok, gotta go back into the meeting now...

stuck at home with a poorly boy, and with swollen glands myself and feeling cold and achey... Hmmm, great.

BB wondered whether as you said last month was a short cycle, whether this IS in fact sign of impending ov? Know nothing about CBFM but presumably they're not 100% accuracy guaranteed? I know it's easy to worry about any unusual symptoms and often totally irrationally fear something's wrong, but I doubt it's a sign of CervCa.

gum am in AWE of your wholesomeness!!

Hope everyone else ok. Feeling gloomy and grey today - partly as I don't think my plans for friend's CP will go as scheduled with DS being poorly. Also my other bestest chum who moved home to Oz in Feb emailed me today and he's currently unemployed and fed up. I miss him :(

Off to make hot choc in the vain attempt it'll cheer me. It IS Montezuma's Xmas blend so if that can't do it, nothing can...

Hi all x Hope you're feeling ok Jollster and that the hot choc does the trick. Really hope your ds perks up and that you can make the wedding - is there no way you could go if he was still poorly?
BB panic not - the blood-tinged CM can be very normnal in the lead up to ovulation. I've had it at least twice in the past 12 mths and it is NOT a symptom of cervical cancer trust me!! (I have 6 monthly smears due to history of CIN 3 and every slight twinge/darkish looking cm has had me on the 'phone to the women's day care nurse . Not being morbid, but bleeding linked to cervical cancer is very dark and pretty much on and off throughout the month.
On that cheery note hoping everyone's well - those on the bench (I too am in awe of your dietary regime GUM ) and those of us waiting at either end of the slanket continuum.
NOt heard from Hippy in a few days - hope you're ok? Still waiting for ovulation here - temps dropped to lowest ever for me today, and no ewm, so fully expecting a late one after the mc. Nice actually not to know what's going on for once!

I'm here diege. all ok. Not in vest yet but AF is coming to the end so EW will surely follow soon.

The boys had an occasional day from s chool today. DS1 went to a friends dad's house (single and sexy - but we wont go into that!) So me and DS2 have spent the day watching christmas films and making cakes - lovely day with him. I'm trying to really enjoy my children at the moment. I think tank and louise have really opened my eyes to how much I take them for granted. DS2 keeps doing a very camp voice which is very funny but I have a feeling his dad wont approve

ps. The sexy dad turned up unexpectedly and we were having a PJ day up until that point (that includes a - hair needs washing day.) I was bloody mortified!!!

Love to all. BB Could it just be a bit left over from your AF? Mine takes a while to tail off.

Gotta go - fairy cakes are ready to ice.

ps. jolls So sorry you and DS are unwell. Hope the plans can go ahead. I've never been to a gay wedding - how boring am I?

Hi all.

Hope everyones well? hippy that sounds like a blissful day. You sound attractive with your unwashed hair !!!! Tee hee!!!!!

jolls hope you feel better soon and get to go to your friends wedding.

diege hope you re well?

Hi gumblossom , 40somemum , alba and bb oh and anyone I ve missed.

Hard , hard , hard here went in to town today sure I ve seen 25 million babies , or feels like it , half of them belonging to chavs who don t even seemto acknowledge their existence. Why ????

It's so hard to be shopping and see all the Xmas stuff for babies. Had my counselling yesterday was quite good my counsellor suggested we try and start the ball rolling with the whole adoption process in April whilst ttc at the same time. I know we can t be having any fertilty treatment whilst we go through the adoption process but I m assuming no one can tell us not to have sex , which is basically all we re doing.

Right, quick post as I m off out for a curry with friends. Sorry I m missing the snug tonight . Keep it warm and well stocked for me !!!

OMG Gum I am in awe that you managed to find any time to SWI whilst researching that lot!

Sorry I haven't been around - I am green and dormouse like, which is obviously wonderful No, I know it is - DH is delighted.

Saw MW today, who palpated my uterus - and she can't feel it - so that pretty much rules out twins which is good, as anything that decreases risk is good by me. I am 8 plus 2, so unlikely to be an ectopic now either. Not planning to do an early scan, as I find the thought of doing it really stressful... will just keep plodding on...

Jolly sorry to hear you're feeling poorly
hippy your beauty is on the inside m'darling xx
BB and Diege Have you own up that my approach with DH is to try and not involve him in important decisions, like moving houses, having babies etc. I usually decide, and then get him to think it's his idea - I thought all wives did that

Louise Not sure what to think about the adopting and ttc idea. You've just been through a major trauma - ttc now is a difficult enough. I find being pg hard. Adoption is another minefield. I presume the reason that they say don't adopt whilst you're doing fertility treatment is because it's too much to cope with. Please don't over-load yourself.

There's an adoption board on MN - there's also a poster called thefirstmrsdevere who is lovely, who has also lost a daughter and adopted (but the other way round - I mean she adopted first). I think you might find her a useful person to chat to xx (pulls her sneaky beak out again)

Hi Louise, sounds like you have a great evening planned . I can secind what you say about adoption and fertility, as my sister has just completed the process (adoption). They had to stop fertility treatment, but as you say, natural conception not a problem and they could hardly police it anyway .
Hippy! Sounds like we might be on the egg race together . Cd 14 and no sign, so I'd expect it all to happen in a week or so, in which case you will win! I am also having a need to wash hair day (well, the second day if I'm honest )though no fit dads here (other than dh of course )
Sounds like we need the friday niught snug bistro...so to kick off I fancy a roast chicken dinner with lots of gravy (so that you can only see gravy) and a few of those tiny yorkshire puds. Mmmmm!! Oh and rhubarb crumble and custard for pudd. Anyone else?

x-posts Tank . I like your approach to marital decision-making, v.good (I certainly took that line when moving house last year . Pregnancy sounds like it's progressing really well - are you allowing yourself to feel exicted yet?

Diege thanks - am not allowing myself to feel excited at all. I did have a sneaky look at the maternity section in a couple of dept stores. I don't have any maternity clothes... even so, I will wait until I really need them We have also booked a nuchal scan - 12 weeks is 23 dec, which isn't ideal as we are in France for xmas, so we have had to fly back early and get it done between xmas and new year By then I'll be nearly 13 weeks... I hope I will be 13 weeks then anyway, iyswim. {touches wood}

I am also eating like a horse - have put on 1.2 kg in the last 2 weeks... so as the bistro is open I will have calamari to start, followed by a huge portion of lasagne with a side order of green salad and garlic bread.... and I suppose we ought to have some olives and nibbles while we're waiting ...

tank good news that you are over 8 weeks. It's not an official milestone but it's kinda half way between finding out and having the nuchal so it's nice to get past - IYSWIM.

Yes, my beauty is within - WELL within!!!

louise I know that italian has thought about adoption but has decided to have another go at donor eggs first. She was told she couldn't do fertility treatment and adoption at the same time, I think. I agree that obviously they can't stop you TTC at the same time, but, I think they might want you to be in the right place in your head eg. fully committed to adoption. Anyway, I guess the thought of being in the right place in your head is so bloody alien to you at the moment - so best to wait and see how you feel. So sorry to hear that you're struggling with all the babies in the shopping centre. Yes, the feckin' chavs don't deserve the babies that they churn out whilst smoking 20 B&H and then pretty much ignore except for the times when they lean in the buggie with a fag in their mouth. Life is definitely not fair, my dear. (Mad rant from Hippy...)

diege Make that 2 of the roast chickens please - plenty of gravy for me too
I'm on day 6 but still seeing a bit of AF so I recon I've got about 6 days before I get an egg. HURRY UP and catch me up!

ps. I have a DH who is on board about TTC but how the heck do I get him to agree that the house is ready to put it on the ma rket??? Over to you for advise on that one jolls.

Ok, ok, that's the calamari done and have a huge vat of gracy on the hob for me and Hippy . Are you also a custard person Hippy? (I find the 2 tend to go together)
My absolutely favourite programme returns tonight - Peep Show series 6 . I'm sure I'm alone as no-one else I've met has even heard of it, but I'll share my dvds of series 1-5 with the snug (to be shown in the grubbiest area, not anywhere near the cream/biscuit cushioned bench. Hey maybe by the old baggy pants drawer?
Right, better catch up on I'm a celeb - tis hard work this telly lark!

Diege - i HAVE heard of peep show as it is my ds1 all time favourite show and as we don't have tv i had to buy him all the dvds ! David Mitchell is so funny and we endlessly tease ds that David is his idol as by chance he ended up going to the same college as him at University!!!

Louise - personally i think the adoption ttc thing to be a good idea - sod the authorities . From a psychological point of view i am a real believer in 'things happening' when you stop worrying about them . Relationships happen when you are not looking etc. When ttc the phrase 'realx about it' can grate and be a lot easier said than done - so the adoption is at least a distraction. I did used to work for a woman who had a birth ds and adopted ds of the same age. Just as she was lucky enough to have her adoptive son she found out she was quite far gone with her birth son. Lovely!

Went to consultant yesterday who SCARED us rigid with fees for possible treatments.....deep breath and a long think needed here.....

NO IDEA where i am in cycle - feel like i could have ovulated only a few days post m/c but who knows???? I could spend hundreds poa ovulation stick to find out where i am!! GRRRRRR

Morning . YOu make me feel really old (or is it young? ) with your ds1 wathcing the same shows . Last night's episode was great - tell your ds he's in for a treat when the series 6 gets to dvd On ttc front, my cycle is also all over the place (15 days post-mc)and fully expecting this to be a very odd, possibly annovulatory cycle.
Christmas shopping today with the dds , dh staying home with ds. Have promised them a go in the shopping centre snow globe , a massive construction with whirling snow, plus photo, all for bargain price of £8...
Love to all - wrap up warm, except for you Gum* where I'm sure it is lovely and warm

Tank great news, so pleased. Hope France will be a nice distraction for you (stay off all that bloody runny cheese and uncooked meat that they love over there!).

Diege what is it that Hippy is meant to like with custard or as well as custard, you said the two went together??

Well peepshow I used to love it but I must say it got too rude for me - Italian blushes! - but I love David Webb or is it David Mitchell, the dark-haired one. He looks like my old boss!

Louise yes, it is tough when people all around are sprogging like mad and I agree so sad when people don?t seem to care about kids. I guess it is all tough and I think it is easier to just go places you will like, and avoid the crowds for a bit, shop on line and go to some nice posh no kids style place for dinner with DH.

Louise about adoption, well, whatever you do is totally up to you and I think the first step is finding out some info from the county council adoption services, or whatever they are called in your area. I think your counsellor is a bit naive to suggest ttc while adopting. The thing is while you are just researching it and looking into it you can do as you like and of course while you are in the adoption process they can?t police your love making but I guess it is also what is going on in your mind, are you wanting a new child to come into your home from elsewhere or are you really wanting a baby from you! If you are really wanting a baby from you I personally would wait before you start the adoption thing - I would just concentrate on some good quality love making and fun and relaxing and try and allow it all to happen or perhaps explore fertility treatment if you want.

Louise the only reason I am sounding a note of caution, which others may not share, is that when you are really in the process of adoption you are looking into giving a home to a child and if you do end up doing that and then get up the duff are you still going to want that child? It?s different if you adopt and then it happens naturally or whatever. Anyway, I have read the first Mrs Dever?s posts a lot too and she is an excellent person. You could pm her or whatever. Anyway, I don?t want to be down on it at all, I think you just need to get some space and if thinking about adoption helps then go ahead and when the time comes you may feel a strong pull to one or other route. I chose not to go down the adoption route this year as I wanted one more go at treatment and I sometimes wonder if that was the right choice but I did it and I feel it is good to be going down this rout. Anyway, I think you have been through a lot and you need to find some space for you. How old are you? Make a bit of time to just centre yourself, I know it is hard, maybe it is impossible but I think if you have the right support around you (and I hope you do) then you can just get a bit of peace before making any big decisions. Love and blessings and really don?t want to be negative about anything so if this post is crap then flush it down the loo!

Spotty how is it all going, what is happening, I am sorry if I missed something important from you.

Hippy Pj day, making cakes with kids, hair unwashed, sexy single dad ? are you sure you are not living in a Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney film!

Octavia Ostrich Jolls what is happening with your job then? When you say civil partnership does that mean gay wedding, I thought straight people could have cps too?

40smemum hope cycle will sort itself out.

muchlove, Gum, BB, GG and all ? thinking of you.

Now ladies, I need some inspiration/advice/kicking up my arse!

1. What is the best way to take folic acid, is it just straight folic acid or some sort of weird combo thingy. My pack of 100 is finally running out and I need to replenish stocks!

2. I am totally and utterly un-diet-minded and after numerous problems with work etc and having to work days I didn't normally due to illness (DD) and other stuff I missed lots of fitness sessions! . I am finally back at Rosemary Conley THIS Wednesday. WILL BE mortified if I have a) lost nothing, b) even worse!! put on weight. The house is a shrine to cakes thanks to DD's birthday and I finally got strong and THREW AWAY a small pile of Pringles because if I looked at that wicked, winking tube again I knew I would eat the lot! So can you inspire me!! I am going to PRAY as much as I can for diet help - as I must say (I am NOT being overly dramatic here I am being realistic) that only God can help me! I am addicted to just about everything except fruit and veg! Even ice cream, which I dislike, tempts me! So while I am busy praying can anyone give me anything to hang on to (and, no, a bread stick won't do!).

Thank you lovely, sweet, honey ladies

....mmm... honey!!!

Hugs, baby-dust and honey to all

Italian, come on now...remember all the reasons you want to lose weight? Remember how you want to be a fit, healthy body in order to receive your new baby????I'm no saint when it comes to food.I love it all, and I wish I'd started this pregnancy a stone or two lighter. But that didn't happen for me, it can for you!

Having said that, we went to my DH's department dinner last night and I made a pavlova to take. Wow, it was good, if I say so myself. So was the white chocolate dip.It was amazing!

I've spent the last day and night feeling totally paranoid about this pregnancy. I'm terrified I will miscarry.I wish I could relax. If anyone has any ideas on how I might do this, I'd love to know.

I know in the end there is nothing I can do about it, I just have to be patient and soon I'll be at 12 weeks. It is so slow going.

Oh my, I'm so sorry to be having a whinge about this when you are trying to conceive.Forgive me, I'm an insensitive twit!

Italian, I just took little 500mcg pills - 2 a day, plus there was(is) 400mcg in my pre-natal vitamins and about 50mcg in the B-complex. I think it is fine on its own. I heard large doses are good for us AMA mums, so that's why I took more than the recommended 400mcg a day.

Shite, shite and more shite. Had an ok day apart from we went to a shopping centre / mall and there were babies everywhere and I mean everywhere . I tolerated it for a while then had to rush out as I was welling up and staring at babies and could feel I was getting upset. Went to curries to look for a new laptop , our knacked, when bumped in to an old friend of mine who was lovely about Georgie and tolde about her sil who has had a stillborn child and went on to have 2 kids after. So , plodding on we went to the pub to watch football match , came home snuggled up when I saw my dhs Facebook. ( we are currently sharing the iPod and it's logged on as dh) when I saw an update re; some good friends of ours that are due on 27 th Dec ( I ve deleted them ant hasn't ) stating " oh can't believe only a month to the Babys due!!".

Well I hate her , them , the whole bloody situation. She's 10 yes younger than me got pg 4 weeks after trying had a textbook pregnancy never miscarried etc etc ..,,.. Her sil had a baby 2 days after Georgie , again no probs so her mum has 2 new grandkids my parents don't even have one. It's not fair . Why does it have to be mine thats died? Why not hers or someone elses ?

I ve told dh to delete them. They make me sick it's bloody cruel. Their baby will be fine no probs healthy and bouncing. It makes me sick , sick , sick.

Going to bed now ad fuc**d off with all and can t deal with it myself.

Sorry not to name check , not in the mood. too piss** off and sad and angry and bitter and unhappy.