30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

My first ever fred start . Without authorisation, I know, but it was an emergency! And Scorps wanted to hold off till September!

Or did I fuck up with no BESH in the title?

Schoolgirl error, wizardsleeve last post on the previous thread - nobody responds to it. Post it again on here...

So, back to me... that writer thing then said I write like Steven King and Charles Dickens. I'm not sure I can see the synergy between the 3...

Thanks for starting the new thread, Fairy

Perhaps we won't get a thousand people on the thread asking what BESH means now

lol goodqueenbess over been diagnosed with MPD?

cheers for the new thread, MTF i like the theme. its a bit chilled so hopefully the summer vibe will help calm the menkul (fat chance)

i really really should do some work :S

*ever. sorry really should proof read a bit more thoroughly.

Not sure WOOFL or MSDP is any more self-explanatory .

It's still better than mine, what was that, Doctorow something? I'd be very happy with your selection.

Thanks Beshie123 .....And thanks for the new thread started in double quick time Fairy.

Welcome squishymarshmallow! I'm a noob too, I've already had my head flushed down the toilet and my daily wedgie, that's why I'm staying here.

Writer thing = David Foster Wallace? Apparently his last book is "Equal parts philosophical quest and screwball comedy". I am strangely pleased with this.

Scorps What a royal shitter finding out about your job like that. Hope you can grab the bull by the balls and get to do a job really worthy of your talents. Oh and

My smear went ok, thanks for asking The nurse was a bit shocked I ignored the modesty blanket but at this stage it seems a bit pointless.

Squariel great news of the mini-neph! Onwards and upwards I hope.

I think you will find the t shirt idea was mine - but I'll let you have one per cent of the royalties if you do all the advertising, manufacturing, distribution and so on. I'm kind like that.

Hair pulls to the rest of you, apart from Twinks and saltycrisps who get back rubs and out of date Twirls.

BESH means Bloddy Excellent Slaaaags n Harpies.

I like thinking up new meanings for BESH.

Hullo, like new fred. Is pretty. I came to say to HeadsupSkirts that I bet the spotting IS smear related. I had mucho spotting after mine. Now stop menkulling and be diffed. I command it!

No, I didn't want there to be no fred until September, I just wanted to use BESHory Towers at the most appropriate moment! No fred? Are you mental? Oh, yes, you're a BESH, sorry...

Am crying due to my usual 'am never going to be a MumRa' nonsense, which has now turned into 'I'm going to a worthless, useless Nobody who never has children or a decent job, waaaah'. Please to apply violence as soon as possible.

Oh yeah, what the fuck is the modesty blue paper towel about? How does that preserve modesty? I had one for dildo cam. Scuse me, my legs are akimbo, feet in stirrups, and you're down the business end staring up my chuff. But clearly I'm worried about is exposing my stomach and pubic hair.

Ooooo nice fred: I likes me some Gershwin I do. Can't spell it mind, and have no intention of Googling.

Bess I am at your results.

Re the spotting - yes it is and in equal measure. Of COURSE I immediately think implantation, each time, as it's textbook stuff, but then I have a period (and, as I said, odd ones).

This is what sparked the trip to the GP. I am convinced they're unsticky BOCs (I won't use the MC word for something so early and minor), and the GP said 'very possibly'.

I hope the tests and smears and whatnot shed some light up my fanjo I really do. Presumably if my trouble is a teflon uterus then there's something to thicken the wombular lining or similar? (I think I did some early days when I didn't keep a lid on the menkul).

re testing - first time it happened I tested twice - 5 days before the droid, and then 4 days. Both negative. Er, I wonder why (silly cow).

The second cycle we agreed that I wouldn't literally piss on ten pound notes until I was at least one day late and of course by then the brown string had set in so I didn't bother.

So this is why all is seen through a glass darkly etc. etc.

oops soz stinkpalm was on my mammoth 8 page catch up so all got a bit muddled... you do drive a hard bargain. if the 1% is augmented with unlimited feffing rights then you got a deal.

How's that for a fishy slap? Eh? Eh? You will be a Mumra, by the power of Greyskull I command it!

(d'ya like my conflating of cartoons there?)

PS Muse yes you are quite right, this time round it is merely the smearage and all is well with my Wimbledon Common

A mug of PG Tips to that and no mistake.

I think the t-shirt idea was MINE (or at least my catchy BESH slogan). There's only one way to find out... FIGHT!!!

Muse, you are mean, teasing the Noobs with false BESH explanations

Scorpolina all the buzwams did not help? You will get updiffed, you know, us BESHes, we're sloggers. Takes a while, but brings results.

Banger, ok the testing suggestion was stoopid.

Ancient spirits of evil, transform this decayed body into Mummmraaaaa! The Ever Mentalling! And yes, we the BESH's are the ancient spirits of evil, and we will help Mumra aka. Scorpette become diffed! The 90's cartoon foretold it so it must be true.

Whew, that hit the spot, cheers, AmuseBouche! How refreshing!

scorps some amazing job will come up soon, probably next month, just as you realise you are diffed.

Headbanger I know someone who had teflon womb problem and she took a drug that temporarily put her into menopause so that ivf pre-fertilized eggies could be wooshed up her business and stick. It did work but it decreases the quality of the eggs you produce afterwards, so the earlier you do it the better.

WOZZNOT STOOPID Mountie!

Owing to my idiosyncratic upbringing I have no idea what you're all talking about with this Mumra biz, but I also decree that Score's top scores re. wombular fitness will result in le diffulage before you can say First Response !

clickety click, Headbanger

think we have found the new chant: its simple but effective

diff
diff
diff
diff
diff.

btw just phoned the gp surgery cos we hadn't received mrBs results: she seemed all proud that they had faxed them to the FC, but then admitted they had forgotten to post them to us. bloody FC dont need them til September you stupid woman, its US that are on tenderhooks. AIBU to be an ickle bit annoyed?

actually dont care if IABU. i am going to be annoyed anyway.

sod this is it to early for a raspberry gin topped up with elderflower fizz?

Ooo thanks Bess - I was missing out there and no mistake!

Salad YAsoNBU. Idiots. They seem to reserve a special kind of blithering boss-eyed cloth-eared fool to be GP receptionists.