30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

Thank you HB!!! Lyra hahahahahahah! I was about to agree to exlamation mark restriction!!! But then I was so relieved to finally understand the MSDP explanation from HB that I just can't control my fingers!!!

Lyra has a fetish for aquatic mammals, that's all. She can only get aroused if her DH plays a whale sound CD at top volume and squeaks at her to grab hold of his 'fin' and enjoy the ride

Oooooh, am v happy to be Poll's best girl. And after all, I am the one that got her pregnant.

So who is your ladywife, Lezra?

I saw that fred about boozy stripclub scan-missing arsehole man last night and was soooooooooo and Reading about what some people have to put up with really makes me smug about my lovely TYF. His shyness can be a bit annoying at times, as can his love of puter games, but apart from that, he's just about darn-tootin' perfect Aw, and he just came home from work and smooched me soggily (is chucking it down here)

Muser, your mister might be my long-lost brother - I have to always be reading summat!

And last but never least, Gin, I hope work got sorted but if not, I knows how to cheer you up. C'mere, Luvverr

Perma-headache here too SaladGirl.

Not that we are the cool kids or anything, HB.

Squish I was not subjected to such strict rules! I think these two want to spank someone.

Spank me! Me!

neighter neither

thanks chaps. I was actually quite proud of that.

have just realised am also responsible for ffj and 2woofl which are perhaps not as good.

lyra rewrote mn acronym list with SWI tho, now that is impressive.

And cam started us on the road to droid with RTOD....

I actually made 2 fuck ups today, one very expensive but it could end up as A Good Thing (equally it might not.)

The other thing is just grr and arrgh at I am now depending on the whim of a stranger (pretty much) as to whether it can be repaired.

I should not be in charge of anything.

Babydust is allowed. If lined up on a mirror and snorted thru a rolled-up twenty.

Are we going to have a His Dark Materials themed thread next time?

Ok, BESHters, I need advice. Ok, strictly speaking, I do not, but my German friend does. She is not even a BESH, hell she is almost not even in her 40's anymore, being 48. Actually, she probably was never a BESH, just did not meet the right man until her 40s. Anyhoo, she is desperate for a baybee now. She is also past menopause. She is thinking of going for IVF in the Czech Republic, because in Germany (and this is news to me) it is not legal ti use donated eggs. So there is not much information she can find there about post-menopause diffment, as they just do not do it.

Now, am I right to think that there is a technique where they can still get ya eggs out even if you stopped droidage? I dunno why, but I had a feeling I saw summat on MN that suggested diffing past droid-stop was possible for older laydees.

Does anyone know anything? Dunno why you would, but BESHes are always my first point of call! Off to research the rest of the site...

P.S. She is so desparate. This is what she always wanted, she just could not find the bloke! I personally think that maybe it is healthier for her to let go (they have been at it for 2, 3 years, and then her droid went), but who am I to judge? By the way, the bloke is proper lovely.

Can you see I am not a literary type?

At the probable moment this thread implodes I will be getting wankered with a Pretty Boy to mourn celebrate another month of not-diffed.

I have therefore opened the BESH Harem several posts too early, because I am a colossal loser haemorrhaging from my genitals and would like one tiny small achievement in my bleak and humourless existence.

Wander in when you need to. Thank you and good night.

ead the problem with being so sparklingly witty is that you make people like me snigger when you are sad. This is because you utter such gems as 'i am a colossal loser haemorrhaging from my genitals...' which is ludicrously funny in a rather black way.

Am sorry you are blue but you are very much not a loser. You are Ace McAces from Aceville

I will seek out new Fred.

blimey so lyra really IS an internet goddess. Well i am off to the pit, have just had blazing row with MrB as he came home drunk from a works do this afternoon. I think i may have over reacted a little from reading the strip club thread (plus being pre droid) Even tho I know he would NEVER do such a thing, the day time drinking really annoys me esp as he is a bit of a cocky (although funny with it) drunk. There are mitigating circumstances as his faculty is breaking up for the summer and the Uni are having a reorganistion, quite a few redundancies so in effect this is THE END of school, not just the end of term. But that last time this happened he got refused entry on the trains then i couldn't track him down as he couldnt remember what we had arrange re pick up etc. And I know he only came home cos I rang up and harangued him, which makes me feel like a shitty nag. My main issue is that whats the point of us going to the FC is he cant go out and drink moderately. I hope I am not representing him as an arsehole cos he really is lovely and this happens VERY rarely but I know if I posted this in AIBU I would probably get told he is an alcoholic and to leave him.

Sorry for me me me post, all your banter has really cheered me up but bit too fucked in the head to reply individually and need to vent before i get don't for husbandicide (sure there is a proper term for that)

Uxoricide is the killing of a wife, not sure about husband.

Lettuceleaves, on your behalf. At least he's not stripper-scan-misser-boozo man. Erm...

Lyra, I've seen a vision of the future birth of your child and it is THIS

Well, just checked mail and have got letter from my GPs surgery saying I need to book an urgent appointment with one of the Docs, but doesn't say what for. It does say in brackets, 'your partner is also invited', so I guess it's their cryptic way of telling to come to talk about AC and shiz. Perhaps they make it so mysterious so that only clever wimminz win a baybee?

haha thanks scorps hes just boozo man :D have calmed down a bit. still a bit pissed off with him but pretty sure i am just pre-menkul as would normally find it quite funny. He's just being a div. Hope the GP appointment is A OK. kind of cryptic tho innit? Maybe you have already one a baybee but it got put under the wrong gooseberry bush. That IS how baybees are made isnt it?

I thought you weren't sposed to go in with dolphins if you are diffed as they get confused by the 2 heartbeats, although I never understood this as they are mammals too. must be hocum.

Are we moving over to the Harem then? I wouldn't mind mrBs antics being consigned to the MN vaults...

Forgot Cass was ma bitch. Can't I have Lyra too?

Menkulmenkulmenkulmenkulmenkulmenkulmenkul menkulmenkulmenkulmenkulmenkul menkul.

That is all.

SIX DAYS of scant brown smears. I have used up an entire loo roll checking for more and aside from two bright red smears SIX DAYS ago it's been nowt but tiny smudges of Horlicks and the odd delicious bit of brown goo.

Is this a droid? Is this the beginning of the droid? I don't fucking know!

Not POASing because I am teaching myself nerves of steel. But I am driven to comfort eating & have achieved the size of a house in 72 hours.

Going away now. But HONESTLY! This is HORRIBLE. I just want it to start properly so we can re-set the CBFM my lovely PESH pal is giving me and start looking forward to next month. AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

Hello everyone. Apols for rant. And apols for opening the Harem so early!

PS Gin you are an angel and thassafact. A dangerously sexy hard-drinking one but an angel anyways

I really fucking wish I hadn't posted that. Talk about tempting the fates...

Is droid due or overdue? If overdue POAS! Resistance is futile.

Hello M'dear. Hello Moosical. I know I am being ridiculous but...

I was due Fri/Sat (Days 25 or 26). My last period came Day 23 though. I started spotting early Tues morning (day 22) and it was two very bright pinky-red smears, so definitely new blood, so I assumed game over and a short cycle, then it changed to deep brown sludge and very little of it.

I know I should POAS, but I am trying to train myself out of the menkul (it's working beautifully, as you can tell). It's perfectly possible to have 6 days of spotting before the droid right? I've had 3 or 4 days before. I can't do this to myself every month, or spend a fortune on piss-sticks every month . So I'm trying to man up. If by Monday evening there's still no full blood-flow then I'll test 'cos that will have been an entire week of spotting and that's definitely odd.

By the way - if you search re. brown spotting on the NHS you get a)cervical cancer, b) the clap/sundry other SWIs, and c) menopause !

PS hello and thanks for being nice.

Oh and I did have a random 27 day cycle a while back, so I'm not going to consider myself late until mid-Day 28 at the earliest.

God, imagine how foolish I'm going to feel when it starts, having menkulled all over the thread

Do not search for brown spotting! That way lies menkulness. I had loads of brown spotting the first month we were trying, what a mindfuck that was.

Ok, waiting until Monday sounds like a good plan, I like a plan. And I am not advocating persistent POAS. But a clear plan for Tuesday am is all rational. Don't do it Monday evening, you'll menkul about it not being the first pee of the day and then will do it again Tuesday anyway.

You are not allowed to feel foolish. It's not called the 2WOOFL for nothing. I menkulled for weeks on end and insisted I was not diffed and droid was messing with me. Look how that turned out.

Thankyou so much. Oh dear, I feel tearful .

I am going to cling to my plan. Tuesday morning is a very good idea because you cannot argue with strong wee, can you?! I am going to put it out of my head for today and have a good sob at Toy Story 3.

The thing is that, in the greater scheme of things, really I am quite early on in my endeavours. So when I thought the droid was coming I was quite philosophical about it and just looked forward to a really healthy month next cycle - sunshine, long walks, punnets of blueberries, early nights, folic acid, and lots of SWI! It's being messed around with I can't stand.

Anyway thankyou THANK YOU for being wise and nice and kind. I am going to have a rummage shower and play with my new Dior eyeliner. Nothing takes my mind off these things like make-up funtimes!

don't feel foolish, it's quite natural to be confused when you body is messing with you.