30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

Wait, so what did they saw back on if your fingertip is still on the board? I am feeling very bad for you and yet somehow feel like I am in the episode of Monthy Python or summat.

Yep - deffo symptom of diffment.

Are you ok? You've already been to the A&E, right?

Joey

yes been to the clinic. Not enough skin to sew back on!

put some stuff on to stop bleeding.

It was like a shaved off the nail if you see what I mean, and took some finger with it. MUCH less finger than last time so no surgeon etc. just the nurse.

Feel TOTAL idiot. Am fine and drinking amaertto - only booze in the house!

THANK YOU for being here, the OM is on nights and my pal round the corner is out!

PS - yes to the Monty P. Of all the RIDICULOUS things to do. At the hosp. clinic reception Iwas 50% shaking and 50% laughing and the recpetionist was laughing too. I said "I'll see you on Friday" (going back to change dressing) and she said "Oh thinking of doing it AGAIN are you?!"

Witty, very witty

Oh god, ick and ouch and poor bangers. Here, have some gin.

Black humor. Very fitting for this fred.

Is your nail going to grow back?

I have a frown and a smile on my face. I do not think I ever pulled that grimace before in my life. You deserve some kind of a reward or something.

You ok? Shaken? Bleeding stopped? Enough energy to go out and get some proper booze?

thank you Muse. It flipping throbs. I am going to lie on the sofa and watch shit telly and eat hummus but obviously not with the nice salad I was shredding parsley for

PLiz not to think one second more on my massive cocking bell-end kitchen behaviour but continue as you were. I shall come back later and pretend this never happened. Just spoken to my Mum who was v. v. sympathetic last time and this time only JUST managed not to laugh...

Mount am not shaking now I have had boooooooooooze. bleeding stopped - did you know they make special non-bleedy gauze out of seaweed? TRUFAX according to handsome nurse.

last time they said nailbed cut out so half of nail missing but it MOSTLY grew back. who knows if it will this time. It has probably HAD ENOUGH and I will spend my days with scarlet manicures with a perfct half-moon shape missing from left index finger. Maybe I'll set a trend among the emo crowd??

Poor ickle Bangers. I hope there is some repear Glee or Desparate Housewives just for you. And ice cream.

REPEAT

Dear Bangingfingerache I think you should use fingertip for diffment voodoo ceremony of some sort...

I am sympathetic, but you did do a bad apostrophe missing out in your post, so I am leaning towards finding you comedic....

How you doing youngMusicianoftheyear?

Here is hoping that you can tell your offspring: "See, this is what you did to me! I sacrifised my nail and my best years to you." Ok, maybe not.

Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.

Just checked my voicemail messages and had one from the stupid midwife at my GP saying 'You're due to have your booking appt on Tuesday could you please call so we can confirm the time, hope you're doing well, look forward to speaking to you'.

Fucking stupid non joined up working.

I really don't have to ring her and explain that no, I won't be coming to the booking appointment because there is nothing to book as there is no freaking baby

Fuck.

Oh Salts, just ignore the call. As annoying as it is.

BTW, welcome back!

oh salty. I'm so very sorry. what an utterly wretched thing. I wish I could say more. my thoughts are with you. I'm so sorry and I wonder if it's worth making a complaint -that is really shocking, actually.

Salty what a shit thing to happen, hate community midwives (only from my personal experience, during which I managed to find a couple of human ones but not mine!)

Also, like the idea of using HB's finger for voodoo.

ExpensiveHerbBun we may have ignored your BESHtionnaire in all of this evening's action, but I believe you have passed with flying colours and may now strip to your tighte wighties and proceed serving JFizz with the other newbs. Start with the HeadBESHer.

Squash, this thread seems to attract readheads and/or freckly people. (Fake one myself, but freckles real.) It is very funny though . I say there must be a higher power here. Shall we ask HB's fingertip? (Too early, Headie?) On a more serious topic, when can you go to the GP to get checked out, and for your man to get checked out?

Yes, meant to comiserate about HB's fingertip - very painful.

MTF my GP tells me they'll start to take me more seriously after a year and I can be referred. However was referred for podiatrist appt in March which should have been 6 weeks and the appointment came through for 5 months later, so not holding out huge hope for positive action. They think I have one PCO and aren't completely sure I'm ovulating (great!) but have given normal FSH and LH in blood, which I assume is a good sign.

Keep getting waves of not wanting to have a huge gap in between DC's - didn't start trying until I was ready as conceived at the drop of a hat (or of the knickers!) last time!

"MUCH less finger than last time" WTF? VOMMMMMMMMMMM Really hope it's all okay, HB. and try not to turn into THIS woman (Roll over 'spoilers' for key words )

Mmm, glad I've already eaten. Well, my brother was clearly overjoyed to see me; he decided that he had to walk to the shop to get some cranberry juice the second I arrived (30 mins there and back), then he listened to music off his computer via headphones, then we ate and he bombarded me with questions and just took the piss and said I've become really boring and old (yeah, cheers) and then he played a computer game with his headphones on and kept saying 'WHATTT???' angrily if anyone tried to speak to him. the only time he showed any interest in me was when I gave himm his birthday pressies. It was his birthday the other weekend, but I didn't post em as knew I'd see him today. He is now 34, for those of you who were imagining he was 17 or summat He's treating my folks like this; like seeing us is a dreary trial he must endure to make us happy by being in his presence

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, sorry to moan. Just rather upsetting that your only sibling can't even pretend to give a shit about being around when you only see each other twice a year

Am also getting terrible gravy browning and feel that this is a menstrual step backwards from all the improvements that beedling has brought me

As for doing everything right re: food, well, you know what a big girly swot I am about all that and everything else: flawless, absolutely flawless womb, perfect patent log flume fallopian tubes, Faberge eggs, Child genius test results, Olympic swimmers courtesy of TYF, ridiculously healthy GI diet, don't drink, don't smoke, don't have caffeine, don't even have sugar and YET I am overweight and childless (unless you count my dear Clothilda, my used sanitary towel child). FUCK IT ALL!

Salty I'd stick your response on a piece of paper and hand it over to the surgery or post it; I found that easier than talking to them. Boo for NHS-joined-up-services-fail.

Am liking the voodoo ceremony idea. Not the amaretto though, bletch.

I will ignore call. However, I do feel as though I should start objecting to life rubbing my fecking nose in what was, after all, a moderately traumatic experience already.

I'm open to suggestion as to the form this objection should take.

Hello squishedtomato I don't believe we've met?

Fucking crappy badly joined up services. Can I go slap her for you salty?

Squished what is a podiatrist? I am sorry, I am no use on pcos. Did you trawl MN for advice? Did the man always smoke, etc? They can do his analysis at the GP's without referring you to the clinic.

Salts I really do not know. Apart from scribbling them a note and saying they should really check their facts. But somehow that does not seem to be satisfying. I would suggest random violence, but I am not even sure against whom.