Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

I am so sorry op. If I was you I would hire a lawyer now.

What can a lawyer do in this situation?

I’m so sorry to hear that it sounds like the care she’s getting in the new hospital isn’t any better and how much she is suffering. Definitely keep pushing for her to be put on fluids. Maybe ask at what blood pressure reading they would normally put a 12 year old on fluids to hopefully get them thinking. Also point out that she’s sleeping all the time which makes getting fluids in her even harder. Have you made it clear you are recording notes on her treatment? Sometimes that seems to make them think a bit more. Sending virtual hugs and support

Advocate and document for medical negligence. Hospitals hate litigation. At the moment op’s dd is one of umpteen requiring urgent attention. With a lawyer involved that would change. They shouldn’t have to resort to that but that is exactly what I would do.

Nothing useful to add to the more knowledgeable advice on here but just wanted to add that I am continuing to keep you and your dd in my thoughts.

Sorry if it's been mentioned and I missed. But what are they doing about her dangerously low blood pressure?

I don't know who you can call to help.

Maybe a legal team would be good. At the very least it may scare the staff into double checking their treatment.

Low blood pressure is a sign of septic shock. Are they regularly testing for sepsis?

The soup looks very unappetising and greasy .But offering it before 10am ???

I’m so sorry at the way you are being treated. I really hope they up their game x

Can you ask them to start documenting on her chart where your requests are being denied? Eg asking for a new team, transfer to Dublin etc. I did this with my DD and finally got them to take some notice. They will hate having that on a paper trail.

I’m not medical or knowledgeable but I’d be really concerned about that blood pressure. I’m so sorry to read you’re still going through it. My heart goes out to you all at this horrifically difficult time. Please keep us updated. Keeping your family in my thoughts.

This!!

Crikey -

I'm not understanding why they haven't done an IV fluid challenge.

I know you are not in the UK so my experience is of limited use OP, but I do live in a geographically isolated area so understand the difficulties of limited health care options and long distance transfer. But I know from experience that sick people can be and regularly are transferred safely over long distances in this country and I find it hard to believe that it isn't possible in the RoI. Don't let them fob you off. They should surely at the very least, be seeking advise from the specialists given your DD has suffered a serious complication from the endoscopy.
Here, I can't imagine any circumstances when a child would have had an endoscopy anywhere other than a children's hospital in the first place - my DS couldn't have been treated locally until at least 16. And that's not because the local team are "inferior", it's just a different skillset. If I needed an endoscopy I wouldn't want my DS's consultant, fabulous though she is, to do it. Our local adult gastro team would be much more used to caring for middle aged women and the type of problems they typically present with - it's horses for courses.
Nobody can be an expert in everything and there is no shame in that but doctors failing to recognise the limits of their own knowledge and experience isn't acceptable.

If you were in England I would be suggesting you contacted PALS to help you - is there anything like that in the RoI? Keep making a fuss. Yes, it's the weekend, there will be fewer staff around and they will be busy but there must be someone who has responsibility* *for your daughter's care. Whatever is making her so unwell doesn't care that it's Saturday does it? She's not getting better and she needs to be reviewed. I know it's awful having a child ill in hospital and that you will be exhausted and ground down but you are doing a brilliant job advocating for your little girl - stick at it.

Op im assuming you are in CUH at the moment ? Have you considered the private Paediatrics hospital in the Bon Secours Hospital Cork? I know that many people moved their children from cuh to there due to poor care . I think you might need a referral from your doctor but maybe give them a ring and check . They cover up to 15 years old.
https://www.bonsecours.ie/services/paediatrics/paediatric-assessment-unit-pau-at-bon-secours-hospital-cork

If I was in your situation I think I would try to make contact with the relevant paed consultants in Dublin and explain the situation, begging for them to review whether your daughter is suitable for transfer.

I am so sorry for you both.

Everything stops at the weekend at hospitals. It's ridiculous, nothing much will happen now until at least Monday but I would be asking who I could speak to because I'm unhappy with my daughters care.

I don't know how it works in Ireland but in England, you'd want to talk to the nurse in charge or the matron and at this point. I'd also ask about a meeting to talk about a plan going forward.

Thinking of you and your DD

I know my friend had success after asking the staff for a complaint from. Once she asked for this, her mother got treated immediately. (This was in the UK, so not sure how it works in Ireland.
Hope you have some success very soon. Unfortunately at the weekend there is only skeleton staff on duty.

Sounds like you are having the most dreadful time, Im so sorry you and your family are going through this.

If she is still drinking very little and passing very concentrated brown urine i would ask them 'what are the contraindications of iv fluids' for your daughter... it seems obvious she needs these especially with low blood pressure. Her blood pressure isn't worrying low as at 12 their average BP is 90 systolic but it is lower than her normal and put in a bigger picture, is a sign of dehydration.

They should be completing a fluid balance too, recording all her fluid input so how much she is drinking and receiving from any IV antibiotics etc, and her outputs so urine and vomit etc. As she is no longer catherised, she should be given pulp commode pans that can be put on the toilet for her to wee into so it can be measured. They do sound very complacent about her symptoms.

Thank you I’m pleased to say we managed to go out for a few hours today. We didn’t go to the park but managed to get 3 good hours out of her to see my other two kids, it was nice to be back together for a few hours.

While out she has some mild kidney pain and still has the pain down there which comes and goes.

We do have health insurance they are in talks about if they’d send / accept her because apparently perforated oesophagus requires a specific team. But we are looking at the Bons.

Right now all we want is for her to be okay. We will deal with the complaint down the line but not right this moment. The care is already poor don’t want it to be worse. She definitely has turned a corner today fingers crossed that’ll continue.

she’s not wee’d much today but they do want to test it now. I thought they had done yesterday but evidently not. The longer it goes on the more they struggle to get bloods from her. Is there not alternative like taking bloods for load of tests instead of 1 at 7, another at noon. Her arms are honestly black and blue

Just to add too op that I had the same issue with my daughters arms being bruised and sore from blood tests, one consultant suggested taking from foot veins and it worked brilliantly, also gave her poor arms a rest

I agree with pp that you could suggest doing it from her foot next time.

Other than that, unless they believe they will need regular access to her then just doing the blood draws is unfortunately the best option. If she needed a more long term solution, then a central line but that comes with infection risks so they don't do it unless absolutely necessary. My son required central line access and he ended up with several infections and line sepsis so you want to avoid that unless absolutely necessary.

It's also possible that they are doing blood gases which might be checked every 4 hours, every 6 hours etc.

Pretty much all of Ireland is like this for paediatric care unless you live in and around Dublin. It is one of the main reasons why my DH who is Irish has chosen for us to stay in the UK due to the infinitely better health services for children and won't move back no matter how much his MIL nags him.

I'm happy to hear she has turned a corner. Fingers crossed its onwards and upwards from here.

Sending love.