Impact of death on daughter constipated sick and accidents

[WinterRach]

Long story short my father in law died last weekend in an accident. DD and him were best of buddies doing everything together so she’s devastated we all are. Since Wednesday she’s been feeling sick not had a poo since Tuesday. I thought perhaps stress might slow her poo down she is eating less. Being sick and wetting at night which again putting down to stress. She has been sick tonight with the pain

My neighbours daughter is a pharmacist she told us to try dulcolax suppositories which I gave her around 6. She’s managed to poo about 10 hard rocks of poo some in the loo some not I’ve had her in the bath to try and help go she’s been on in and out of the bath on the floor and back on the loo. Im pretty sure its just her constipated but I guess you never know what grief can do to them.

Her hands and feet are ice cold too. Ive popped winter fluffy pjs and fluffy socks on now popped towels on the bathroom floor and giver her a hot water bop for her belly.

So sorry to hear this, OP! Are they running any tests? Is she still on antibiotics? Are they giving her fluids in any way? Sending you lots of hugs!
Don't hesitate to demand a2nd or 3rd opinion. You have rights! It's called Martha's rule.

@WinterRach OP I am truely upset and perplexed at everything your daughter is going through. Have the docs had a multidiciplinary meeting yet to discuss all likely diagnoses and treatments yet? I think this is the only way to get to the bottom of this. gasto, urology, general and paediatrician need to all get a time together in a meeting room. this is going on for too long and mistakes have already been made! they need to join the dots!

@CabbageWater the family are in southern Ireland ,Martha's law isn't applicable there .
@WinterRach what is the reasoning behind the reluctance to use a catheter

They still have no idea what is wrong yet?

Your poor girl and poor you too xx

The doctors haven’t managed to
diagnose. I only asked if they performed cultures and empathised on what the OP was experiencing.

But they aren’t managing her pain correctly. The nurses have told the OP that the obstruction is putting pressure on the bladder but they aren’t even treating an obstruction and it sounds like they are medically negligent.

I don’t understand how they aren’t treating the cause.

Have they performed a scan of her abdomen to check for an obstruction?

I wondered that. A friend had a bowel obstruction. Was very poorly. I hope 🙏 they've scanned higher

I’m so sorry your son had that happen to him. I’ve witnessed medical negligence in the children’s public hospital. Too many nurses standing around chatting and not doing anything, one nurse being the only one taking any vitals for every single patient and disappearing because she was obviously needed elsewhere. There was a kid with head injuries who was never even checked on in the six hours we were there - nor was he given any first aid.

A little girl died at that hospital due to their incompetence. They basically ignore patients after the initial triage and only rostered on one junior doctor for the night shift when we were there.

We’ve driven across the city to another hospital during an emergency because we couldn’t trust that our child would be seen.

Touch wood living in Wales children are transferred to Alder hey And sometimes great Ormond Street. Our health board throws in the towel fast openly admitting it's beyond them.

Weird things happen medically. Friends six year old was transferred from Wales to alder hey after excruciating symptoms. Stones in his gallbladder, so rare at that age. But it happened.

This was just our local hospital which had a children's assessment ward but nothing much more than that. The nurses were wonderful but had their hands tied by those further up the food chain.

He was moved to a children's hospital because he needed a children's intensive care unit and emergency surgery which the local hospital didn't do on children. They went above and beyond and never gave up on him, despite just how poorly he was.

My son was at a different children's hospital but due to his multi organ failure, he had a cardiac arrest and though they got him back, his heart wasn't in great shape and his hospital basically asked Alder Hey for advice about the ECMO life support which rests the heart and/or lungs because Alder Hey deal with ECMO more often than my son's hospital do and they advised my son's hospital to put him on it which is what began his turn around and recovery so even though my son wasn't at Alder Hey, they definitely played their part in saving him.

She’s been diagnosed with constipation and IBS which they are not overly concerned about which was the main reason we came in. The local hospital caused the perforation of the oesophagus and there’s also tummy’s ulcerated. The urine retention well that’s anyone’s guess because they are being useless. The gastric team today are adamant she won’t have any more problems with the advice drink more, walk more, have a less anxious bladder... She was given soft food diet but they took away again. I wouldn’t even give my dog some of the food she’s been given She doesn’t yet but could develop sepsis rapidly if the perforated oesophagus leaked into her heart or lungs that’s the risk. It’s been clipped closed and should come out in her poo. But there is only so much straining she can do she needs laxatives. We asked does her bowel have anxiety too? 😰

We have had her out of the ward today walking around and change of scenery. Tomorrow we are taking her out for the afternoon if she’s well enough.

We are fighting for her but there’s only so much we can do! We have conversations with them every day sometimes every hour. We are keeping a record off all the things they’ve done wrong and it’s a rather big ever growing list. We will make a complaint but not now. I don’t want worse treatment in retaliation of a complaint.

It sounds so frustrating for you that there doesn’t seem to be any joined up thinking between the gastro & urology teams. Have they said what has caused the stomach ulceration? That’s certainly not normal for a 12 year old. Do you know if they have tested for Coeliac’s disease?

I hope her oesophagus heals quickly without causing any problems. Definitely complain about the first hospital once she’s recovered. Sending hugs and support to keep fighting for your daughter and hope she’s much better soon

They have said they think it’s been triggered by grandads death which has trigged the ulcer. They took some biopsies but had to do an emergency stop when they perforated her. They are planning on doing another scope in 8 weeks time with full sedation to look again. They did speak about open surgery in the hours after the error on Tuesday but they’ve not spoken of that again. Sorry I did also forget she has a hernia in there too. My head is scattered

It just seems relentless for you, your poor daughter. I'm sure you are, but is she seeing an actual pediatric specialist? A pediatric gastroenterologist? It certainly sounds like you're doing all you can, it is so frustrating not to be able to have joined-up thinking on her medical details by the professionals.

Have you heard of ‘Martha‘s rule?’
She was a little girl who had an accident on her bike in my local hospital. Many hospitals in UK have adopted Martha’s rule which is a way of giving parents a second opinion from a fresh team of experts.

I'm wondering what the mechanism of a sudden shock triggering an ulcer might be .
I've never heard of an ulcer being triggered .
A stomach ulcer is an open sore on the stomach lining, often caused by Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) bacteria or long-term use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs)
but perhaps it's something slightly different ? Ulceration/sores /inflammation?

@Onmytod24 the OP isn't in the UK ,she's in southern Ireland where they don't have Martha's Law

I’m so sorry you’re all going through this. So are they saying that she has constipation, an ‘anxious’ bladder, urine retention, a hernia and an ulcer and IBD as a result of her granddad’s death (which I’m very sorry about) and then the oesophagheal tear (caused by the other hospital) but that that they’ll take another look in eight week’s time?

Has the doctor who refused the catheter acknowledged the risks to her bladder if that’s the wrong call versus the right call?

I don’t expect you to answer these questions of course, I’m just really sorry this is happening and that as well as the stress about her being so unwell you’re also having to deal with the stress of the treatment itself.

The OP is not in England.

Martha's case is haunting though. I think about it a lot after reading her mother's article. It was so well-written and so harrowing.

Diagnosing all stomach/digestion related issues as ibs sounds like an easy way out. I have ibs. Never ever been in the kind of agony you're describing here. Try get a second opinion.

I am very sorry to hear what is happening with your daughter. Has anyone mentioned the possibility of crohn’s disease? Symptoms during a flare up can include urine retention and severe constipation (or diarrhoea). Could explain ulceration. Stress is a major trigger.

@WinterRach if they have her notes at the bottom of her bed, please take pics of the pages! you dont know when you will need them and if you do, invariably pages will go missing!!

It's certainly possible to be so constipated that you can't wee, and then the bladder to get so full that it makes it even harder to poo. When this happened to someone I know they catheterised then dealt with the constipation and only once that is done did they take the catheter out. They certainly didn't give opiate medication as that's notorious for causing constipation.

I'm confused here how they don't seem to be trying to deal with the constipation. If they were, being blunt, she wouldn't be going anywhere for even a few minutes, let alone possibly going anywhere tomorrow, as she'd need access to the toilet immediately at all times/be in pads/nappies, as what they'd be giving her (from either end) would mean she wouldn't have much control.

of her bed, please take pics of the pages! you dont know when you will need them and if you do, invariably pages will go missing!!
Very good point ,I experienced missing note syndrome after newborn ended up in NICS.