Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

[EmilyMumsnet]

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

My gorgeous little darling last week rolled in fox poo. Bad enough, but I hadn't realised she had got it INSIDE her wellies. So after a big clean up operation and running round sniffing things in the house to check them....yep, next day after walking out in her wellies, she spreads fox poo all over the sofa again.

My 4 year old son pee'd in his older brothers water bottle and gave it to him to drink saying it was a pee shake!

DD was about 6 months old and not very well. She was very upset and had been screaming for ages as she wouldn't go to sleep. I picked her up and lifted her up to my shoulder when she promptly threw up in my hair and all down my top and into my bra.

DH walked in and didn't even spot the fact that I was dripping with curdling milk. Gave him the baby so I could shower for her to promptly fall asleep all angelic in his arms.

I was changing DS's nappy after he had produced the most enormous and explosive poo. It was runny, smelly and totally vile. I took the nappy off and at the same time my phone rang in the hall. I dashed off to get it and when I got back roughly 1 minute later, DS was eating sweetcorn out of his nappy. There was poo all over his fingers, on his tongue, round his mouth, in his hair. I thought I was going to throw up

One of my DC had chicken pox recently. Said DC had the spots on the inside of the nose. That same DC picked off the scabs and ate them.

The DC is preschool age btw

I will never forget going in to check on DD one evening.

She was fast asleep in her little cot with 3 large spider legs hanging out of her mouth....I had to extract the others from inside her mouth.

I remember one morning waking up to my daughters voice shouting 'Mummy, I did it myself, I did it myself'

I instantly felt an internal horror, especially as she was in the process of potty training.

I walked into her bedroom where she had tried to change her own nappy and had used every part of her bedroom to try and wipe her bum.

When I walked in she was using a Beachball....

Hmm, it's a hard choice but here goes,

DS1 - has been known to 'save time' by eating on the toilet.
DS2 - will not change his socks unless I physically wrestle them off him and they stink like nothing I've ever smelt before.
DS3 joined DN in a game of 'let's post our poo down between the gaps on the decking.'

DS1&2 share a room and the smell in therein the morning of boxed in farts and socks is gross. They're not even teenagers yet!

Filthy creatures that they are!

My delightful two year old daughter Megan recently started hiding when having a poo in her nappy then sticking her finger in her nappy she came up to me and asked what it was I automatically wiped it off her finger not realising and had a lovely surprise, she then started rubbing faeces over my wall floor her legs and her slide, safe to say we are now toilet training which is going really well!!! im so proud of her xxx

During a karate grading (lots of kids, all concentrating hard), my son had quite a heavy nosebleed - it was all over his chin, neck, on his white suit. The instructor gave him a big wad of tissue to soak it up. I then had to sit and watch, along with all the other karate parents, as my son absentmindedly tore the bloody tissue into bits and ate it.

Eating her bogies always turns my stomach, she's eaten mud and had a fight with sudocrem-it was everywhere, she looked like my grandad (or father Christmas!!)

We got on a 12 hour flight and my 4 year old was behaving beautifully until he turned to say something to me and vomited all over me. It was awful. One of the lovely air hostesses gave me a huge t shirt so I had to try to wash my trousers in the toilet and then meet lovely family I hadn't seen in a year in stinky trousers and a huge smiley face t shirt.

Whenever DS has a nosebleed he takes great delight in picking the bloody bogies and eating them, some squidgy soft red ones others scabby and crunchy!

Secretly filling her room with snails that crawled out once she was asleep was pretty gross, especially as I'm not a slipper wearer. The slimy crunching underfoot was the first I knew of it.

DS4 at just rolling stage around 6 months. Had been exclusively lovingly bf then given equally lovingly prepared organic vegetarian weaning foods. First roll across kitchen floor ended with first finger food of a regurgitated dog biscuit. Yum.

Today, actually. My 17 month old DS has recently had chicken pox. He's also overdue a hair cut. Today I caught him pulling out the scabs that had come loose and stuck in his hair and eating them. With an accompanying "mmmm". Disgusting child.

DS (2) and I were in town yesterday, where I promised if he was good whilst we did everything we needed too, he could have an ice cream when we were done. So I buy him a lovely banana sundae plus one for me and we sit on a bench in the sun to eat it.

I take my eyes off him for two seconds to move the buggy round, look at him again and he's got a piece of used chewing gum that was stuck to the bench, in his mouth. Ripped that bugger out as fast as I could, don't think it was quick enough though...

Waking me up at 2 in the morning to tell me his finger was dirty because he'd had it in his bottom!

I was chatting to an elderly lady at a bus stop once and she complimented me on my adorable and we'll behaved DC. Only for us to turn around and see DD2 on her hands and knees drinking a puddle through a dirty discarded McDonald's straw...

Also DD2, made a sculpture in the garden that consisted of all of my clothes pegs stuck vertically into a dog poo. Like a hedgehog.

Also DD2, wee'd in my dad's construction helmet and left it on the landing for him to discover.

DS2, put a sheep poo nugget in his mouth.

DS2, poo'd in his bedroom and used a foam toy to scoop it up and cake it onto the wall.

DS2, gave a toy monkey a "poo afro" monkey was henceforth known as poo monkey.

DS2, shite. On a plate.

There is probably more, I have pictures of most of these too

DS1, when under 8, was a thumb sucker. Would come home FILTHY from rugby, absolutely covered in mud from head to toe.....except for one lovely fresh pink thumb.

ok when my daughter was about three, she picked her nose and put it in her mouth, I asked her to open the mouth and the bogey was massive and sitting on her tongue. I can still picture it now fifteen years later.x

Came over and gave me an unprompted hug. During the hug she swiped her nose right across my top. Snotty is not the word!

My boy once played with dried up dog mess when he was younger. It was absolutely horrible!

Played with his action figures in the cat litter tray because it looked like an alien planets surface