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Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

241 replies

EmilyMumsnet · 15/06/2015 12:30

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
OP posts:
Eatsleepwork · 28/06/2015 20:35

Dd took the game pooh sticks too literally once. Throwing stones and sticks off a bridge into the river when she turns round with a big squidgy dog poo in her hand and tried to chuck it in, only it was really gunky and stuck between her fingers [shudder]

cozza777 · 28/06/2015 20:57

My little boy was using my Cath Kidston flannel to wipe the toilet seat before he had a pooh!!! I caught him doing it one day so have not got a clue how long this had to been going on for. ewwwww

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 28/06/2015 20:57

dd about 18 months took her nappy off and smeared poo all down the stairs and then rolled around our bed. it was disgusting!

then most recently at 6 I caught her sticking her fingers in her bum and sniffing them.

lilbooboo · 28/06/2015 20:57

when he was about 2 my lil boy touched his bare bumhole with his finger then of course...said finger travelled straight up towards his mouth...managed to stop him just in the nick of time...

Maclairey · 28/06/2015 20:58

My 2 year old was in the bath the other night and I was sat on the floor feeding the baby. I noticed that my son kept drinking that bath water and I told him not to do it but he wouldn't stop. Anyway I got up to get him washed and noticed he had done a poo in the bath. There bits floating in the bath where it has broken up. I won't lie, I feel like I failed as a parent!

elQuintoConyo · 28/06/2015 20:59

Gatorade that is priceless Grin

DS had a bum obsession when he was being toilet trained. In amongst the mantra "fingers aren't for bums, fingers aren't for bums" I found myself saying "baked beans aren't for bums" as he stuck a spoonful up there. While at the dinner table. He was 2.7.

We have NEVER had a poo incident as pp, painting walls with it etc. I count myself very lucky.

lori123 · 28/06/2015 21:10

My son did a poo then took his nappy off, stepped in it then walked it all around my bedroom :(

kimbers85 · 28/06/2015 21:13

my son used to eat his own toenails x it would keep him busy for hours if he was allowed to get away with it x

freefan · 28/06/2015 21:21

Hasgot to be the day my three year old tried to wash their hair in the toilet - boak ! luckily it ws clean but still!

dannydyerismydad · 28/06/2015 21:26

I've just remembered the perfectly round boulder of poo I found on top of the Brio bridge.

To this day I have no clue if DS squatted over the tracks or retrieved the deposit from the potty.

pfcpompeysarah · 28/06/2015 21:29

I can remember giving my son his bottle as a baby and him dreamily falling asleep as he was finishing it, then all of a sudden he let rip with this really loud fart and the entire back of his sleepsuit turned a nasty shade of brown... I literally didn't know where to start cleaning him, getting it up and taking it off over his head just made it worse, nobody told me about the sides you could roll down!!

informer365 · 28/06/2015 21:41

projectile poo'd on my wife's face!

Mintyy · 28/06/2015 21:42

I think this is a tacky thread and totally dumbs down Mumsnet.

clarejw24 · 28/06/2015 21:51

I found half of a strange looking bug dangling from her mouth!

mattlins · 28/06/2015 21:55

I thought my darling son had rabies! But he was just eating a slug

lhlee62 · 28/06/2015 21:55

I think my daughter ate poo. We were potty training and she was doing really well with the wee aspect, but not so well with the poo. She would hide and only do a poo if no one could see her, she hid behind our patio curtains and did a big poo that I didn't find into she walked into my living room with no trousers or pants on and said icky and pointed at her mouth. I could smell poo so I walked around the house where I found the poo. She had poo on her hands so I think she ate some!!

southeastastra · 28/06/2015 21:56

ate a fag butt

jubles · 28/06/2015 22:01

When we were living in Africa and DD1 was about 8/9 months old (twice) tried to eat a live cockroach. I have no idea how she caught it but she managed to get it in her mouth. I will never forget that moment of horror when I realised I had to choose between the knowledge she'd eaten it or touching it to get it out of her mouth, both options being pretty disgusting. I chose to remove it, but it was a close call!

hailstone101 · 28/06/2015 22:39

This. Unsupervised for all of two minutes and my daughter decided to take herself to the toilet on my desk chair.

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
sweetsomethings · 28/06/2015 23:23

He was sick all over the aisle at a supermarket it was everywhere

annii80 · 29/06/2015 06:34

When my daughter was 18mth i got out of bed one morning to the sound of her laughing her head off, i wondered what she was laughing at so went to her bedroom to be greeted with what will stay with me for the rest of my life! The whole room was covered in poo, she had stripped off, done a houdini out of the cot and was playing with it smearing it all over the walls, carpet, cot and herself. you've never seen owt like it but at least she was having fun haha x

stewaris · 29/06/2015 07:25

When my DD was 2 and when Woolworth's was still a shop that was on the high street. I went in to pick something up - can't remember what. When I paid at the checkout the lady on the checkout asked if I'd pass her the socks. I didn't have any but DD had helped herself to half a dozen pairs and put them in the buggy. Didn't notice and was most embarrassed that I had a 2 year old shoplifter!

StarDustMonkey · 29/06/2015 08:43

The most disgusting thing I remember DD doing when she was about 18 months old (she's now 4!) concerned poo. The day started off with me and DH waking to her having taken off her nappy and spread poo everywhere in her bedroom...on the bed, the walls, the door frame and also squelched and walked into the carpet Shock she was covered head to foot. After somehow cleaning all this up DH goes to work. Later that morning I am so tiered I fall asleep accidentally on the sofa with her climbing on me. I wake up about 40 minutes later to the smell of poo and the sound if her retching. I at first thing she just needs a nappy change. ...until I open my ear to find her with a hard lump of poo in her hand Shock the retching was due to her tasting the poo...she would have a rate and retch, then try again and retch, and so on... worst thing to wake up to ever Envy (vomit)!

funkyfish586 · 29/06/2015 10:20

On my sons 5th birthday last year he woke up looking a bit peaky but assured me he was ok. So out we went on a birthday lunch to a pizza restaurant where he proceeded to eat his body weight in pizza, doughballs & ice creams. When we got home lots of people arrived to bring presents & we were sat on the sofa & he said 'mummy' and proceeded to projectile vomit all of his dinner in my face much to the horror of everyone. It was disgusting. I didn't know what to do so got in the shower fully clothed... YUCK

happysouls · 29/06/2015 10:45

My son got at the cat litter tray, despite the precautions we'd taken! It was in a hall cupboard, with the door removed, and a wire gate over most of it so the cat could get underneath. My son could reach underneath too we found. I found him with hands full of cat litter, I am not sure if he'd had a taste or not, I suspect so.