Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

[EmilyMumsnet]

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

My eldest son used to love playing in the garden when he was little, he was hardly ever indoors. But i had to watch him like a hawk because he used to have an awful habit of sucking on Caterpillars if he found them. I was often finding them curled up in his mouth.... snails were also a favourite of his! Yuck!

my eldest was a toddler and she was walking around one day just after I changed her nappy, then I noticed she needed changing again as she had done little "smarties" in her nappy, later that day I noticed one of those smarties on the floor, and when I picked it up with a tissue, it had 2 small teeth marks in it. ugh

oh dear, this would be while visiting my mother during our son's "poo" stage of life many years ago. He used to hold it in for as long as possible and then have to go as a matter of urgency only asking as it was on its way out! I was talking to my mother about it in her kitchen when he said he needed to go so I took him upstairs and left him in the bathroom (he was at the stage where he liked to be alone and usually no problem) and I waited downstairs. No noises.... after 5 minutes my mother said she would go and I should have a rest and finish off my cup of tea. Within 10 seconds she was back downstairs and I will never forget the look on her face! On entering my mothers bathroom I found that (and he had NEVER done it before) he had smeared poo over the toilet seat, the floor, the taps, the bowl of the sink and the pedestal, he had touched everything on the bathroom windowsill - which included all the toothbrushes there, the hair products, soap dispenser, pump toothpaste and the left hand side curtain. His pants were on the floor covered in it and he had it on his legs, bottom, hands and right into the fingernails....ewww. Everything got thrown out and the rest sanitized within an inch of its life. He never did it before and never afterwards so still to this day I have absolutely no idea why he did it! I just wish he had done it at home rather when we were visiting!

Picked up a slug .... Yak

DS once ate a woodlouse when he was 1, i didn't move quick enough because i thought it was a stray raisin at first

I sat down on the sofa a few years ago and felt something sticky and moist on my arm. I turned to see what it was and saw snot. Thick, gooey and green snot all over the cushion. Asked the DD did she know what it was and she told me she'd run out of hankies so she had decided to use the cushion instead.

My Dad took my nephew to his first public toilet in Blackpool so he showed him how to use the urinal. Dad went to the wash basins to wash his hands & turned back to see Paul bent down washing his hands in the urine filled trough, disgusting but hilarious. Needless to say lots of soap & antibacterial wash was needed.

This one was actually someone else's child. I was a nanny to two boys and Tom came up to me with something on his finger and asked 'what's that?' (aged 3-4). I looked closely and removed the blob from his finger onto my finger so I could take a closer look, he watched me shrugging my shoulders and saying 'I don't know' before innocently proclaiming 'bogey'!

Called a waiter fat

Picking his nose and wiping it over the bedroom wall. It was a few weeks before I realised what he had been doing and so there was quite a lot to clear off!

Well, if you were enjoying yourself in the swimming-pool, you wouldn't want to leave for something trivial, would you?

Tried to eat her own poo, enough said : / whilst doing a nappy change, delightful

When my youngest was about 8 months old and just learning to get around, we were visiting some family in Turkey.
My mother in law is crazy about knitting and she had been knitting some little black and white socks this one day.
Later in the afternoon I went to the kitchen and when I walked back in the room, I saw my little cherub crawling around the floor with a piece of black wool hanging from her mouth. I flashed her a little "tut tut" smile as I thought she was mimicking Nanny who sometimes holds the end of the wool in her mouth whilst knitting....
I bent down to take it off her and it was only when I touched it that I realised it wasn't wool, it was a long, thin, black creepy crawly, centipede type bug... ughhhhhhh!! I screamed so loud I scared her and Nanny half to death.

DD1 often would put slugs and snails in her mouth. She also used to drink from the watering can and stuff garden soil down her nappy.

i still cant believe dd did this. she was 3 and was going through a jumping in muddy puddles obsession due to too much peppa pig watching. anyway, she was still having the odd accident, and she didnt make it to the loo and peed all over the kitchen floor. i stripped her down and went to get mop etc, and when i got back to the kitchen she had went, put her boots on and was jumping up and down in the pee. when i lost it with her she really couldn't understand why, and was most put out that she wasn't allowed to jump up and down in pee, she cried the whole time i cleaned up and got her changed.

My youngest daughter once attempted to brush her hair with the loo brush and my eldest son ate a lump of wet dog foo from the dogs bowl!

how I can really picture the toddler outrage at not being allowed to jump in pee

With my youngest, I was holding him above my head and making silly noises to make him laugh and then all of a sudden he projectile vomitted into my mouth!

Well when I was younger, my mum said I used to eat woodlouse. I would say 'mummy look' and chomp! It makes me feel sick to think about now because I hate insects and bugs! Luckily my LG hasn't been that disgusting yet, I hope she won't follow my footsteps!

When we were on the beach, Olly decided to go and sit in the muddy sand and put seaweed down his trousers and on his head!

Picked her nose and wiped it on the wall by her bed.

When my twins were 1, they both decided that as mummy was out and daddy was having a lay in, they would smear the whole contents of their dirty nappies around the bedroom walls. When i came home i could smell a potent smell so went to investigate, i have never seen anything like it. It was everywhere, on the bedding, on their faces, behind their nails. That was the most disgusting thing i think they ever did, i think they had fun tho as they had lovely big smiles on their faces when they seen me! What an absolute poo day that was! (excuse the pun).

My 2 year old daughter was having a lovely potter in some rockpools one day, when I got distracted by something. When I looked back at her she had half a dead crab hanging out of her mouth.

He ate the puppy food whilst my back was turned. He is fine, however he developed a barking cough!

Probably pooing in the bath has to be the most disgusting thing ever especially as I had to get it out. Makes me sick even to think about it.