Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

[EmilyMumsnet]

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

My Ds liked to use his finger to check whether his bum hole was clean..

Dd1, at about 4, her nursery were doing a little easter show for the parents. All the kids were sitting, singing nicely, when the child next to dd had a good rummage around in her nose, and pulled out a massive green bogey. She looked at it for a second, then showed it to dd, who took it, admired it, and ate it.

Around about the same time, me and exp took the kids to the zoo for the day. Stuck in traffic, approx 2 hours from home, dd (who was sitting behind me) announced she didn't feel very well, and promptly threw up. She managed to miss herself, but coat the back of my head, my top and my jumper. I had to spend the whole day at the z oo stinking, and, of course, it was a really hot day. Every time I moved, I wanted to be sick, and that was after I'd washed the worst of it off in the toilets.

putting a discarded half eaten lolly into her mouth

I've read the first few posts. Feel ill. Can't read anymore .

16 month old drank out of the toilet brush holder. Never had one since that day

One day in the supermarket, I noticed people looking at my son in his forward facing pushchair with horror on their faces. I walked round to see what he was up to, to find he had eaten almost a whole packet of butter, the remnants still in his hand...I still feel sick thinking about it!

A few years ago my boys were eating their dinner at the table with their older cousin. All of a sudden we heard a lot of noise coming from the kitchen followed by shouts of "Dad!!" My youngest who was about 4 years old had stood up on the chair and peed on his dinner.

My DC was sitting on a bus with her legs wide apart showing pooey knickers

DD used to lick snot from her friends faces. In fairness she licked everything but the snot was a particular low point.

She also likes to pick babies noses and eat that.

A child I look after is quite partial to picking up spiders and letting then run around in his mouth.

DS likes to observe and discuss the contents of his potty. He once managed to poo out a perfect question mark.

"Look everyone! I've pooed out an idea".

Nothing unusual just eating bogeys - yuck!

A three-year-old I looked after in a nursery insisted I come and see her poo as 'it looks just like a dolphin!' I did not see the resemblance but dutifully oohed.

When my son was younger his father built a storage area to keep the full bin bags in,One day he put a full bag in and closed the lid he heared a crunch and opened it up to see several squashed snails.
Before he could move my son stuck his fingers into the squashed mess and quickly put his fingers into his mouth..............yuk

Just last week mine decided to eat a 2p

My son was about 12 months at the time and had a few loose poops due to teething.
I thought we had reached the end of the dodgy nappies so the morning after, I changed his bottom and left his nappy off for a few Mins to prevent a sore bum, I went to the kitchen, put nappy in the bin, and saw my son had pooped on the carpet and rolled around in it!
I proceeded to take him upstairs to the bath and as I was running the bath, my son projectiled pooped across the bathroom, so I quickly put him down to clean up as the bath was running,
All of a sudden in he comes, running, he slipped in the Poo. Making sure we were covered head to toe and in our hair, and all over the bathroom walls!!!
Worst day ever haha

Pooing in the bath wasn't enough for my daughter. She pooed in the bath and then used a toothbrush to smear it round the taps and chain "to make them.shiny"!
Her brother was always on "dirty protest"! He could get his nappy off with ease and have the contents smeared far and wide! It was the devils own job to find it all too! There was always a smear or lump that he'd "hide for later"! His best hiding place was inside his money box! He'd unscrewed the bottom and dropped a lump in! To get it out he shook it out! Complete with poo covered coins! Which his sister brought to us as "chocolate money"!

I cannot think of anything really disgusting. Probably the worst thing was being sick in Pizza Hut.

when my youngest was around 18 months he used to take his nappy off and run free as we used to say his older sister come in from the garden one afternoon to tell us he had striped off and was sat in the garden eating maltesers as you can imaging our horror as we hadnt giving him chocolate and it was from his nappy

If DS gets to hear about this he'll kill me, but I once caught him with his bum in the rabbit hutch attempting to bond with them by pooping with their poop....

We have a Pug dog that licks everything and now our 11 month old licks the bin! Take him to soft play and instead of socialising with other babies he wants to socialises with the bin!

My toddler picked up a dry small pellet of poo that had fallen from her nappy and ate it!!!!!!!!!!!

Started to eat a dead wasp that was on the conservatory floor, luckily I intervened and fished it out his mouth before chewing took place

I remember wallowing in a lovely hot bubble bath one evening when my DD toddled in and sat down on her potty. She chatted away doing a number two which somewhat spoiled the ambience of my bath.

When she finished she picked up the potty and looked at me. I said 'don't you dare!'. She said 'I dare!' and emptied the contents of the potty into my bath.

I didn't stay in for much longer ....

DD2, aged about three, when I went to kiss her goodnight, said to me "Can I stroke your face, Mummy? I'd like to stroke your face."

Oh how sweet, I thought, and said "Of course you can stroke Mummy's face, darling."

A couple of strokes later, I noticed that DD2's fingers stank to high heaven, so I asked her what she had been doing with them.

"I put them up my bottom," she said, cackling evilly.

She's now 14, and still known as "Bottomfingers."

Her first poo was the most disgusting thing ever, I had to get the nurse to change it as I thought something was wrong with her, it was that bad. The Nurse said it was normal though