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Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!

241 replies

EmilyMumsnet · 15/06/2015 12:30

We all know that children can be the most delightful, innocent little angels - charming, sweet and pure. They can also sometimes be the most disgusting creatures to ever walk this earth. Every mother has seen their child do something outright revolting at least once, if not repeatedly.

We're asking you to dredge up these horror stories for the chance to win copies of Dirty Bertie: Jackpot! An expert in all things yukky, there’s nothing Bertie likes more than to be surrounded by worms, fleas, bogeys, burps and suspicious smells... And if his enthusiastic young readers are anything to go by, he’s not alone!

Tell us the most disgusting thing your child has ever done for the chance to win one of 6 copies of the book. The most utterly disgusting story will also win the poster a £100 Argos voucher!

This competition is now closed. Winners will be contacted shortly

This competition is sponsored by Little Tiger

Reveal the most disgusting thing your child has ever done to win £100 Argos voucher and more!
OP posts:
nicctaylor · 12/07/2015 11:10

I caught my 18 month old grandson trying to drink water from the dogs bowl.

abigailflo7 · 12/07/2015 11:16

When my daughter was a six month old baby I asked my ten year old son to keep watch whilst I put the washing out . I came back into the room to discover my daughter had taken off her dirty nappy and proceeded to eat the contents and my son was oblivious tapping away on his game boy ! How I never threw up cleaning that up I will never know. We still laugh about itand my daughter is now 15 years

Dessallara · 12/07/2015 11:21

Dipped her fingers in her potty where she just did wee wee and put them straight in her mouth :/

MrsFruitcake · 12/07/2015 11:21

When DD was being potty trained, I once put my foot into my beloved pale blue nubuck Menorcan sandals to find that she had helpfully left a large turd in the left one for me. She hadn't indicated she needed a dump at any time that morning!

The sandals had to go straight in the bin I'm afraid.

JWalker23 · 12/07/2015 12:30

Nothing really happened yet, which is great expect for things like nose picking LOL

andy07 · 12/07/2015 14:16

My little girl has a sensory difficulties so she did go through a phrase of eating strange things like dirt, stones, shells, money, wood all sorts but this one day when I asked to open her mouth to see what she was eating this time it turned out to be a snail. Yes a snail. I actually did gag.

dirtypop · 12/07/2015 14:36

using her toothbrush to brush her hair

PiaMaria79 · 12/07/2015 15:37

As a Mum of 3 little ones there's plenty of things my darling daughter and sons have done but one of the top ones would have to be when our middle child was around 2 he came in from the garden with a live wasp in his mouth, who knows how he avoided from being stung but he started screaming like mental when Daddy took his new pet away from him lol

FrenchieMum2Be · 12/07/2015 16:38

She used one of the dog's toys as a teether (whilst under grandparents' watch)... Gross!

piggypoo · 12/07/2015 17:33

Making "twiglets" with the contents of the cat's tray, she didn't eat them though! :(

alibubbles · 12/07/2015 17:35

Eaten the gall bladder of a rabbit that the cat bought in and left on the floor, I wondered what he was chewing for hours on end, it is a hard green round object, quite vile really!

pixiedust1 · 12/07/2015 17:37

Does pooping in the bath count? It has only happened once or twice but my little girl was so bewildered when it happened, she didn't even know what she had done, bless her :)
My youngest is potty training now and has had 'accidents' around the house, mostly number one accidents but did a number two in their wendy house, needless to say my older daughter was not impressed by this! She also refuses to sit on the potty and insists on going to the toilet, to the extent that we put her on the pot but she stood up and peed all over the pot and floor...she gets her stubbornness from her father...
:)

frodoald1989 · 12/07/2015 19:09

When potty training my DS1 I had to leave the room for a couple of minutes to answer the phone. When returning I was pleased to see he had done a number 2, but not so pleased to see he had decided to post it into the video player!

mellforster · 12/07/2015 19:31

My daughter managed to take her nappy of first thing in the morning,we heard her giggling went in to get her and she had covered herself and her entire cot in her poop,

Doodygirl2009 · 12/07/2015 19:37

My son got poo under his nails yuk it took ages to clean out

daisydalrymple · 12/07/2015 19:43

When ds1 was 3, I noticed a row of dirt along the line of his toddler bed, stuck on the wall. It was only on closer inspection that I realised it was actually bogies and he'd obviously been picking his nose in the night and sticking it on the wall, goodness knows for how long, or why I hadn't noticed it sooner as it was disgusting. Unfortunately I only remembered this as he had a similar line next to his new cabin bed, which looked familiar. Yes, the same gross habit, except now he's 8!

mamabluestar · 12/07/2015 19:45

When my DS was 2 months old my friend, who was heavily pregnant, came to visit us.

DS needed a smelly nappy changing, which I dealt with quickly. Too quickly, as once I had cleaned him and he had a nice clean nappy under his bottom, ready for fastening, he started to strain again. Only this time it was as a different colour and consistency. It was as though somebody had squeezed hard on a primula tube, it just kept on squirting and squirting and squirting out. I grabbed the nappy and used it as a shield, in a vain attempt to trying to contain it - it was everywhere.

My friend was in hysterics.

CactusAnnie · 12/07/2015 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grannybiker · 12/07/2015 20:16

You know how little ones put everything in their mouths to explore?
You know how new-born's navels eventually drop off into their nappy?

Best not to mix the two unless your reactions to stop the former are much quicker than mine! :O

sarah3875 · 12/07/2015 20:20

My eldest pooped behind his door once and it took me god knows how long to hunt it down!

Think I'm the gross one though. When I was a child I ate a woodlouse and bought and ate horse feed on a school trip! Weirdo!

88shirley88 · 12/07/2015 20:41

unbeknown to me , my son put his hands down the back of his nappy and touched the poo in it , he then came over to me and said smell mummy, he then put his fingers in my nose and needless to say i gagged all day grr :(

mulgrove · 12/07/2015 21:10

When my little boy was young he started to wipe his dirty nappy all over his bedroom wall, it was a night mear as you can imagine he only did it for a few months, and dont no why.

ksouthcott · 12/07/2015 21:34

Did a massive poo on my bedroom carpet

AnneEyhtMeyer · 12/07/2015 21:37

DD had a bug. She vomited all over my top and down my bra and all over herself.

I stripped us both, shoved the clothes in the washing machine and came back to find her projectile-pooing as she turned round and round trying to see what was happening, spraying diarrhoea everywhere and tramping it into the carpet and between her toes.

I just didn't know where to begin clearing it and us up.

cathyov · 12/07/2015 21:40

Performed on the display toilet in the centre of B+Q - then cried because there was no toilet paper!