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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

347 replies

Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:24

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

OP posts:
Butternutsqoosh · 27/02/2019 12:12

Well done for going, you're so brave. I hope you manage to tell your mum, and hope she's supportive, I'm sure she will be once she is over the surprise. Thinking of you and good luck for the birth.

jcmayj · 27/02/2019 12:12

@Fluffy00 you've been so brave! Thanks

Karigan195 · 27/02/2019 12:13

Fluffy you will need things for you too. You’ll have what is like a really heavy period after the baby’s born, you’ll need some pads for your nipples as they will leak. So so proud of you for going to the medical centre. Now is the time to let the adults close to you know so they can help. That baby could come any minute and you will need support and guidance on how to care for him/her.

Thatsnotmyotter · 27/02/2019 12:13

Did they not send you for a scan or arrange for you to see an obstetrician @fluffy00? Usually when they are unsure of dates they would scan and even consider induction.

Girlinthegarden · 27/02/2019 12:14

Ah well done, that must have been so, so hard. Have they put you in touch with the midwife or the hospital?

No, you won't be able to hold back labour when it starts, but it usually takes hours.

I think if I were you my main focus now would be telling someone in your family or your friend's family, today if at all possible.

friskybivalves · 27/02/2019 12:14

Well done Fluff! You've done a grand job there already. Have they booked you in for a hospital for the delivery itself?

As regards labour, no you won't be able to hold the baby back. Your body kind of takes over. But it is unlikely with your first birth that it will be quick. You might start with back ache. Contractions start far apart but gradually come more often as the labour develops.

Sweetheart, you need to summon up more of your amazing Flufftastic courage and tell your own mum. She will swing right into helicopter parent tiger mode and drop everything to sort you out. Is your own father around? Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Keep strong. ThanksThanksStar

ALargeGinPlease · 27/02/2019 12:15

Just one more thing, in case the midwives haven't mentioned it yet, you will have to use (maternity) pads after the birth, you cannot use tampons, as there is a risk of infection, inserting anything while your cervix is still open. You will bleed more than a period, which is why maternity pads are bigger and thicker, but it's all perfectly normal.

ItsABeautifulDayNow · 27/02/2019 12:18

Just a thought can any mums (I'm not one yet so totally in awe of how incredibly brave you have been today and I am double your age!) explain the feeling of waters breaking as @Fluffy00 may not know about this?

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:18

@Thatsnotmyotter yes they have booked me in for tomorrow. I told them I couldn't go today. I thought I should try and tell someone today so that I can take someone to the appointment with me tomorrow.
Yes I have a dad and a grandad who live close by and an older brother who lives at home with me and my mum sometimes.

OP posts:
Ilovewillow · 27/02/2019 12:22

You are awesome, you have done so well! I know you're scared but you have done the hardest bit. Tell your mum sweetheart, she might well be cross but I'm sure she would want to help you! I will be thinking of you Flowers

physicskate · 27/02/2019 12:24

If you're anywhere in Yorkshire and need any help at all, I'm here. I'm currently nearly 39 weeks pregnant (my last period started June 1st last year).

I'm so inspired by how brave you are.

I think all the offers of help and support are exactly how your mum will react (but she might be a bit shocked first).

olderthanyouthink · 27/02/2019 12:26

Well done fluffy

When I was in labour I wanted it to stop/slow down because we didn't have any medical help but it wouldn't. My body eventually pushed without me trying, I compare it to being sick of that make sense my uterus push the baby out like you stomach can push vomit out.

If you start having contractions you must contact the hospital/Midwifes.

TillyTheTiger · 27/02/2019 12:28

@Fluffy00 I'm so pleased you and baby are healthy, well done for going to the medical centre even though you were scared.
I hope you manage to tell your friend's mum today, you really do need some support. Whatever the relationship with your mum is like, I'm sure she wouldn't want you facing this alone. Have you considered texting her to tell her? If you messaged something along the lines of 'Mum, I need to tell you something. I've just been to the medical centre and I'm 40 weeks pregnant. I'm scared and I need your help' then she would be able to process the shock without having to be face-to-face with you, and I'm sure she'd want to look after you and help you prepare for the birth.
If you have any questions at all about labour, birth or caring for babies, please do keep posting them here - we all want to help you!

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:29

Ok thank you. I think maybe I should have gone for the hospital appointment today but I was getting scared so I just said I had to go and I'd come for an appointment tomorrow but I don't think they wanted me to do that. They said the hospital will have my notes now and they made sure I could get to the hospital if I started going into labour which I said I could.

OP posts:
Angelmiracle · 27/02/2019 12:30

@Fluffy00 well done for going to the Health Centre!!

You are much stronger and more brave than you think. How would you feel about telling your dad instead?

Labour is tough you'll want someone with you. Or wait at your friends until her mum's home?xxx

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:34

I think I'd be too embarrased to tell my dad. He still thinks I'm quite young I don't think he could deal with knowing there's a baby inside me.

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 27/02/2019 12:34

You have been so brave! The idea of a text to your mum is good if you can’t face telling her in person.

If your waters break you will feel like you wet yourself. It can happen with a huge gush and you might feel a pop or it can happen slower and be a trickle. It smells kind of sweet rather than like a wee smell. Sometimes it doesn’t happen until you are well into labour and baby is close to being born but sometimes it happens before contractions start.

Gunpowdertea · 27/02/2019 12:36

Could you call your mums work and ask her to come home? Don't be scared of professionals as they will only want to help and support you and your baby. You could always call the medical centre back too. You will not be the first scared person and they will understand. You are a priority. The most important thing is to be as calm as possible and have support. You can do this.

ALargeGinPlease · 27/02/2019 12:36

Fluffy, I'm sure you could go back to the medical centre if you wanted to get the scan done today. They will want to help you in whatever way they can.

NC4Now · 27/02/2019 12:39

Oh bless you Fluffy. I know you’re only young but you sound really mature in your posts. You can totally do this.

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:41

Thank you every one. I've texted my friend and asked her if she could come to the medical centre with me this afternoon and I've asked when her mum will be home from work. My mum isn't at work at the moment she's just out.

OP posts:
SheRaTheAllPowerful · 27/02/2019 12:41

Well done Fluffy, do you know where your friends mum works? Could you go and see her? X

Original poster
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:45

I don't actually know where her mum works. My friend says she can come with me to the medical centre after lunch.

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 27/02/2019 12:46

Fluffy I know you think your mum and dad are going to be cross with you, but they may be cross that they haven't been able to help you over the last few months as they haven't known. Please try and tell them as they are going to know very soon anyway. Why don't you ask your friend to be with you when you tell your mum ?

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 27/02/2019 12:47

You’ve done so well, I think thars a good idea to go back to the medical centre, maybe your friend can get her mum to meet you there?

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