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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Any tips about having a baby please. I am young and scared.

347 replies

Fluffy00 · 26/02/2019 18:24

Hi. I'm new here. Has anyone ever given birth alone? I mean completely alone like with no midwife or anything? I'm young and expecting a baby which I think will be here very soon. I don't really want anyone else involved but I know it will be safer so if anyone has any tips that they can give me about anything to do with giving birth to a baby really it would be helpful because I don't know what to expect and I'm quite scared. Thank you to anyone who replies.

OP posts:
Merchantgirl · 27/02/2019 08:55

Please tell your Mom too so she can help you get the bits you will need, from memory I took a hospital bag with those items but at 14 you may not have much cash so tell your Mom and let her arrange them;

Nightie
Dressing gown
Slippers
Hair band
Lip balm
Some money for drinks if you are there awhile
Phone charger
Socks
Baby vests
Baby grows
Baby blanket
Baby hat
Baby cardigan
Formula & bottles if you don’t breastfeed
Toiletries for you
Nappies
Baby wipes
Something loose to wear home from hospital
Maternity pads for after birth
Book/magazine-you probably won’t get chance to read though!
I’m sure others will add to this list but don’t worry too much about it, hospitals do have a stash of emergency bits and most are near shops but you will want your Mom there so give her the chance to step up and be there for you

Good luck- you can do this

ATailofTwoKitties · 27/02/2019 08:57

God, you must have abs of steel to get this far without every teacher at school spotting a nine-month bump. Surely, surely someone there should have brought this up with you much earlier than this and helped ?

Karigan195 · 27/02/2019 09:00

I feel for you so much. I’m so glad you’re going to the medical centre as like many others I wouldn’t be alive today if I hadn’t had medical assistance giving birth the first time. Baby got stuck and I had to have an emergency c section. Sounds scary but I’d had an epidural so it wasn’t painful etc.

If you’re scared about telling your mum have you thought about perhaps speaking to a professional maybe social services and having some support there when you tell her?

Let us know how you get on but have to say it does sound like that baby might be coming soon so please do go through with going to the medical centre

mangolover · 27/02/2019 09:00

I think most people would assume their mums would be angry at that age but I bet she will just want you to be ok and rally around to support you. That's all that matters really.
Best of luck this morning

littlecabbage · 27/02/2019 09:04

Best wishes for today Fluffy. You are absolutely doing the right thing by getting help. Well done. Please let us know how it goes x

IdaBWells · 27/02/2019 09:11

Fluffy I am so glad you came to Mumsnet and very glad to hear you will be seeing some medical professionals today. Everyone’s concern will be to make sure both you and the baby have all the support and care you need, Because you are still young and growing physically and mentally yourself their responsibility will be to make sure that you have just as much care as the baby.

SubparOwl · 27/02/2019 09:30

Just wanted to send you lots of love and luck for today Fluffy xxx

Hotpinkangel19 · 27/02/2019 09:58

Oh sweetie- you're just a year older than my daughter, it makes me sad to think you are going through this alone ☹️ good luck for today xx

Hugtheduggee · 27/02/2019 10:43

Medical attention is so important because they will need to check a few things with your baby. For example: Most babies come out head first, but sometimes they are the other way round, or sideways, or butt first and that can make delivery tricky and dangerous if they don't know about it in advance (if they know its OK, because they know what to do!) There are conditions where the placenta (which is what connects you to the baby inside) grows very low 'blocking the door' as it were - again, can be managed fine if they know about it, but could be dangerous if they don't know.

None of these are things to be worried about, but they'll want to do a scan just to check these things. They'll need to have a feel of your tummy, take your blood pressure, and measure how fast your baby's heart is beating.

By doing these checks, they can make sure you are safe and well.

And some people might disagree with me here, but once you've spoken to the hospital/health clinic, and have talked to your mum (or mums friend) then please try and take it easy. Most women stop work a few weeks before their baby is due, and you'll have things to organise, so I'd stop worrying about school just now if I were you.

Once a plan becomes clearer you/your m can talk to the school about whether they want to give you any work to do at home, but right now, as a 40w pregnant young woman, have a rest, and maybe get a book on looking after babies as it will help you have a bit more confidence as a new mum.

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 27/02/2019 10:48

Thinking of you Fluffy and we’ll done for posting very brave if you. I hope everything has gone ok at the medical centre.
If you aren’t ready to tell your mum what about a kind teacher at school if they let you go back today? X

Igottastartthinkingbee · 27/02/2019 11:07

Good luck today fluffy.

NCKitten · 27/02/2019 11:24

I'm a secondary teacher and I have a five month old baby. If one of my year 9 or year 10 pupils told me they were heavily pregnant I would do anything I could to help her. I promise you there would be no judgment from any teacher. I can't guarantee I wouldn't cry, but it would be because I feel so sorry for you that you felt you had to keep it a secret. In fact, I'm almost in tears reading this thread. I'd make sure you got the help you needed and lots of hugs from appropriate peopleSmile I very strongly believe that the arrival of a baby is a joyous event and I am sure your mother will feel the same way once the baby is safely here. All the best of luck today, please let us know how it goes.

Also, you might want to get in touch with @MissKatyKat. She was in a similar situation to you and is doing so well now!

NCKitten · 27/02/2019 11:27

I had a quick read of the thread, and I don't think anyone mentioned the baby blues. For about a week immediately after the birth you will feel very emotionally unstable, cry at nothing and get angry very easily. It's normalSmile

bebeboeuf · 27/02/2019 11:35

Good luck for today Thanks

Hugtheduggee · 27/02/2019 11:42

^ basically baby blues is like PMT but x 100.

I didn't get the normal baby blues, instead I felt really, really happy and giggly, but I cried a lot because I loved my baby so much.

So you may feel very down and overwhelmed. You may feel very happy, but it's like your emotions go upto 20 rather than 10.

Also, while some people feel love for their baby straight away, for some people it takes a while. It doesn't make you a bad mum, and it's really, really common. So if after your birth, rather than feeling love, you just feel relief and want to sleep, then that's ok too.

Nutellaoneverything · 27/02/2019 11:46

Thinking of you today Fluffy Smile.

Feel so sad for you that you've kept it a secret all this time, hope you get the help and support you need.

PointlessUsername · 27/02/2019 11:56

Good Luck Fluffy.
Flowers

ItsABeautifulDayNow · 27/02/2019 11:58

@Fluffy00

Thinking of you today - you can do this and we are all right behind you

StarStarStar

Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:02

Hi again everyone. I've been to the medical centre and everything is healthy and normal. It was very scary though and I've been crying a lot. I am very pregnant. The baby is laying very low down with its head engaged which means it is ready to be born. They think I am about 40 weeks maybe a few days over that which they said technically means I am overdue. I thought they would say I had at least another couple of weeks before it would start to come. They said I shouldn't really be at school anymore now until after. I told them that I'd told a teacher which wasn't true but I didn't want them to call social services or anything. My friend's mum is out at work all day and my mum isn't at home at the moment. I've used all of my money to buy the clothes and a blanket and nappies that people put on the list and I've packed it all in a bag. I know this will be a really stupid question but I have to ask it. I'm guessing having a baby isn't the same as when you need to go to the toilet and you can hold it in for a while. When the baby wants to come I won't be able to do anything about it will I? I'm going to text my friend to ask her when her mum comes home from work. I don't know what else to do at the moment.

OP posts:
Fluffy00 · 27/02/2019 12:03

I forgot to say thank you everyone for your messages and for giving support and information to me.

OP posts:
ItsABeautifulDayNow · 27/02/2019 12:06

@Fluffy00 we are all SO PROUD of you. Well done love! ThanksThanksThanks

ItsABeautifulDayNow · 27/02/2019 12:09

Ps do you think maybe you could ask your friends mum to come and see you later to tell your mum with you?

She can take over if you're finding it hard to get the words out and it means someone is there to help your mum process it and perhaps talk to her if she is overwhelmed too.

Keep going - you're doing brilliantly and using all of your money to get things ready shows you're already putting baby first which is what being a lovely mum is all about.

Sending you so many best wishes as is everyone here!

JuniperNarni · 27/02/2019 12:10

Well done for being brave and going to the medical centre. I'm glad everything is good.
In answer to your question, no you won't be able to hold it in, and you'll probably be in labour for a good few hours, which will hurt, you'll know baby is getting ready to come out.
Make sure you pack some loose fitting pyjamas for yourself, some big pants and you'll need some maternity pads for the bleeding, although if you don't have them hospital will probably give you a couple till someone can bring you some.

You've already been very brave, but if you can manage to tell your mum or your friends mum today that will be really good. You're really going to need some support and you're going to need some more bits for a baby when they arrive.

ALargeGinPlease · 27/02/2019 12:11

Fluffy, you've done really well, facing up to the reality of it all. You're on a roll now and can tell your friends mum as soon as you can.
In terms of holding the baby in like you would a wee....no you can't, but you do go into labour and that can take a while from start to finish, the timing is different for everyone, so no-one can advise how long you'll have. To start with, though, its often bearable and you can do what you have to do, before labour really gets going. Good luck, you'll be fine Thanks

hairymclarey152 · 27/02/2019 12:12

Have been reading this and thinking of you today. Have you got some maternity pads and comfy pants for yourself for afterwards in your bag? Some soft pyjamas as well.

As for the baby coming quickly try not to worry my waters went and then it builds up slowly but make sure you tell someone so they can support you

If your overdue they might help bring baby along

Please keep asking anything I hate to think of you on your own

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