Support for those FF

[galonthefarm]

Not sure if this is the best description for a thread, but basically just somewhere for anyone who is FF who did not set out to do so - to chat to others about it, as there are so many feelings involved (yes, including guilt and also relief!)

My dd (5.5 months) is now exclusively bottle fed, using up supplies of frozen ebm once a day until its gone. She was 5 weeks early and we were advised to top up from the beginning so she put on weight. Now a very chubby 15 lb plus!

There are so many different stories I've heard from friends and on here, and I think it is so important to realise you are not alone in how you feel. I don't get on here much but thought would start the ball rolling! x

mandy very best of luck with your new DC and no you will never be flamed on here for not BF, that is the point. You do what is best for your DC without comment or judgement.

thanks so much, its horrible any new mum being made to feel less confident.. its scary enough without judgements.

xxx good luck to everyone i say xxx

mandy, absolutlely, we're not going to flame anyone on this thread, nor are we going to judge. Hope everything goes well when the big B-day approaches!

BUMP for filibear

See page 13 for lots of info on safe prep of formula

Bumping for CrapBag - hope you find this useful.

Bump for TwoWeeSausages

Thanks for bumping this for me Funny.

Reading the posts on here had helped take away a bit of the guilt I am currently feeling.

I am currently mixed feeding DS2 (9wks) due to problems with my supply. I started FF top ups 2wks ago due to DS not putting on enough weight and dropping through the centiles.

I am just finding it a bit difficult that my body has failed me in a way as I really enjoy breastfeeding.

I wish this had been round a couple of years ago. The fact I could still fit into a B cup when I was 40 weeks pregnant probably wasn't a good sign. I had to FF dd to keep her out of special care at 3 days due to her losing too much weight. I tried to cut it back again and guess what - weight loss again.

Breast is best is a load of bollocks - the truth is Breast is usually best. I doubt the research has been done on those who were effectively starved for the first 6 months. Comparing those who thrived to those on formula isn't exactly a fair test.

My daughter was EFF from 2 weeks. I felt like a total and utter failure. She's now 22 months and absolutely gorgeous. If I'd bf her she probably still wouldn't be back up to birthweight. I am glad that I knew what was best for her at the time, even though it made me unhappy.

Over time you learn there is a lot more to motherhood than breastfeeding.

no problem Two. See how you go and best of luck with BF. Whatever you do don't feel guilty if it doesn't work out though.

And brettgirl you are right, there is much more to motherhood than BF, but the guilt you feel when it doesn't work out and the pressure to 'succeed' is huge.

Hence the safe zone that is FF support, where you can go without fear of being told to effectively try harder!

Have been lurking here ever since I started the odd bottle of formula with ds2.
Thanks for the info on correct bottle procedures. I didn't realise the 70 degree thing by just reading the tin. It says "leave 30 mnts" as though it's to avoid me getting scalded!
There really isn't enough spot-on info on formula feeding is there? It's either wishy-washy stuff from the HV or hype from the manufacturers.
So, once again, thanks ladies for all the links on page 13.

Bump for happyfairy

Hi all. Just a quick post - dd is 5 days old and bf for the first day in hospital, but ff from next day.

Really good to find this thread as I am feeling guilty for not sticking with bf (though I would probably be worrying for my sanity if I had - first baby and a massive shock in general!) also great to realise its not just me feeling like this.

My milk has just come in and I am having that should I/shouldn't I try dd on the breast - all very confusing.

Any advice from anyone re: what to do about not bf when milk comes in - it may sound stupid but what happens?! Does the milk just go?

Quick post as have to see to dd, but nice to "meet" you all and I will be back soon hopefully :)

Hi ILovePonyo - I stopped about the same time you did and I don't think much happened when I stopped - a little bit leaky but not very. I was told not to express unless they got really sore, to have warm showers and to put cabbage leaves in my bra (never felt the need to though). I assume the milk is just reabsorbed. Bear in mind that tiny babies don't drink much, as they have little stomachs, so you won't be producing huge amounts of milk. Perhaps you should ask your MW or HV when they come to see you next.

So happy to find this thread - feeling v guilty and sad (but trying not to) about today's decision to start using bottles.

Got Hipp Organic and am going to express too - supply isn't an issue (everything else is!!).

Any advice on how to do this appreciated:

Is it better to go cold turkey and switch to formula?
Or can I express all her feeds?
If combining, what % works well? And will I be leaking / confusing my already knackered norks?

Will read through posts to see if already answered, off for a snuggle with beautiful DD now.

Thanks breatheslowly - I am also a little bit leaky but thats it so far. I think I will ask mw/hv too just to be sure, good plan.

Bumping for you cookingfat - I'm sorry I don't have the answers to your questions but I'm sure someone else will be along soon who does :)
Try not to feel guilty and sad - although I'm also feeling the same things, I think this thread could be a godsend!

Hi cookingfat. I did bf for about 3 weeks or so and then mixed fed until dd was 8 weeks old. In those 5 weeks I expressed the day feeds, did the night feeds on the boob until 6 weeks old when I moved to formula at night and did the odd bottle of formula in the day.
In the last week or so I was just expressing 1-2 feeds in the day and the rest was formula.
It was actually a really good way (if not quite slow) of moving over to ff. It meant my milk decreased and dried up naturally with no pain, leaking or confusion and dd got slowly used to bottle and formula taste. It also meant she got the most amount of breastmilk I felt I was able to give her.
Expressing is a bit time consuming though but for me as dd was such a slow feeder I was swapping 4 hours on the boob for half an hour expressing and an hour on the bottle so was a good trade off!
Try not to feel guilty, I know it's hard as the message is pushed so strongly but there are no 'rules'. You can do things your way with your lovely dd.

Thanks pomme, have had the least stressful 24 hours if the last 10 days. Expressing day feeds (dh has just gone to buy me an elec pump!), and night feed was formula which she guzzled. Feeds are now lovely experiences with the bottle, rather than a hideous time at the breast. I'm going to follow your advice on the bf/ff balance, but for now I think we have a system.

i felt so angry about this. I had every intention of bf my baby, in the main because it is far cheaper! However, with all the will in the world it just wouldn't work for me. I would physically shake with the pain when she latched on and if she brought any milk up it would be pink from the blood from my sore breasts.
After about two weeks of pain (which is the last thing you need after giving birth) my husband went out to get bottles etc. He said he couldn't stand to see me suffer anymore.
We never looked back, the weight was piled on and it meant my husband could play a bigger part.
i felt a massive pressure from the hospital and 'do gooders' who would offer advice.
If i have a second child I will again attempt to bf but if it doesn't work for me I won't hesitate to change over to bottles. If nothing else, I think a happy mother is better for a baby than a mother that feels a failure and is in pain.

bump for a few new posters.

Posting to remember the thread, but I'll add my story while I'm at it and come back and read it all later.

I'm so glad this is here, just reading the first page has made me feel a little better. I've actually had amazing support from medical professionals, but am still finding this hard.

I had to be induced because of pre-eclampsia (was going to be induced for my diabetes anyway, but my GOD the meds for BP are horrendous). The induction went quite well all things considered, but I was exhausted, a night of 30-min obs and automatic blood pressure cuff the night before going into labour had done me in. I gave birth quite late at night so only had a couple of hours before husband had to go home, so our first night was pretty stressful as I was so tired and he was very mucussy. So our start at BF-ing was in a state of utter exhaustion, not to mention extremely high BP. The staff were all fantastic, and I didnt' even mind the manhandling to be honest. We were getting somewhere when he got severe jaundice. They put him on bottles to make sure he was getting enough fluids, and I started pumping, topping up with formula (which we gradually phased out.

After a week in hospital I BEGGED to be allowed home, but of course he hadn't gone back to the breast, so I was on my own. We went to the BF-ing clinic and tried for hours but he just screamed. Then he got reflux, and the screaming just got worse.

So eventually we gave up trying and I've been pumping for 8 weeks. I am exhausted and it has made my blood sugars impossible to control and is making me ill. Not to mention the stress of fitting in pumping sessions around a baby who needs to be held upright most of the time.

So I am gradually slowing the pumping down, and we have a freezer full of milk and we are going to start mix-feeding. But I've been saying that for over a week and still ahven't given him any. I just can't do it.

Every Dr, MW and HV who I've had contact with wonders why I haven't done it already given everything, but they don't seem able (allowed?) to offer much advice on HOW.

Looking forward to reading the thread.

Thanks for bumping this borrower

Going to take a few hours to read through!!!

My ds is 10 weeks this week and I have been expressing and mix feeding since he was 4 days old, am currently on 3 feeds expressed and 2 formula. I already feel guilty that I couldn't breast feed and today had my latest guilt pang that we have moved from carton pre made formula to powder today.

Having read the first page, I realise guilt is a huge factor and I know I am the only one putting pressure on myself. If I can get my head around that then that will be a huge part resolved.

heads off to start reading

Please don't feel guilty - it's easy to say I know but I think time is a great healer.

My son is now 9 months old and I felt tremendous guilt at the beginning - but actually it was only because I allowed other people (the mn massive) to make me feel bad.

These days I understand that I did nothing wrong and it makes me very rather angry when I see someone posting that they're struggling to bf and they're given the message "oh, if only you'd tried harder".

You are feeding your children. People can judge you when you offer your child and empty tit!

bumping

Bump bump bump

for those who have been reading the 'how do you make up your bottles' thread. Info is on page 13, posted by the lovely tabouleh

hi

am finally posting.

my baby boy is now 4months old. and on formula. :( we started out breastfeeding, and until 8 weeks all was going well. then the pain started. ds had a tongue tie causing me pain, him a poor latch. was snipped at 10 weeks. but still not latching on right. his weight was dipping through the charts. started expressing to top up. still a v v small gain. started mix feeding. good weight gain. then my PND hit hard. back on meds, feeling crap about feeding issues. so for my own reasons, inc anxiety, ds is now on formula. and gaining weigh