White women posting on Black Mumsnetters - all good?

[Sugarintheplum]

Hiya,

I'm just looking for your honest opinion here - feel free to get a new handle to respond to this one if you like (I do that sometimes!)

My view is this: I don't hugely object, partly because it's the internet, and I can't expect that to be truly for a devoted protected space, so it's kinda 'meh'. I just thought about it because of the 'are blonde women more attractive' thread, and there are lots of white women on it.

I've asked something similar before, and I ask it again here, if it's called Black Mumsnetters, why might non-black women want to post? I can see why they might want to lurk and read, but what might make you want to be visible, present and contributing to that space?

If it is a belief that no space should be 'exclusive', i'd think Black Mumsnetters might turn one off completely - ugh, yuk, segregation. If it is a belief that well, one or two white women won't change things (do they? My opinion is that yes, a space with just black women in it talking black women things is materially changed by having white women in it) I can see that too maybe, only things do have a way of being taken over and before you know it black mumsnetters has very few black women at all posting. If it is 'I should be able to be wherever I choose, thank you!', or 'i just love being in chats with diverse groups, I 'm not thinking about it that way' I'd like to know too.

But mostly, black women, how do you feel about it?

Like I say, I'm cool about it, I just don't get it. If there were a Trans Mumsnetters, or Asian Mumsnetters, or LGBT Mumsnetters, or Young Mumsnetters, I wouldn't feel any sort of compulsion to post, I'm black straight and over 30. My children's partner is from a different ethnic group to me and if there were a group for mumsnetters from that community, again, I wouldn't feel any sort of need to post.

Anyway, on this I am truly musing.

Ta!

@Quaagars

So glad I actually know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry I let V make me doubt myself Never doubt yourself - that's the way it is with some on these type of threads, where bigoted views show themselves They'll twist, or pick or turn your words around and have you doubting yourself. Don't fall for it

@Quaagars As you're now accusing me of bigotry could you please point out what I've said that fits that definition? Like I've said - I never post on this board usually and genuinely didn't understand why the OP would post her questions her if she was seeking responses from non-black posters - that was my misunderstanding which she corrected.

But that apparently has triggered a slew of name calling and personal attacks which I'm rather bewildered by. I thought that your previous posts were very thoughtful so I'd appreciate why you also feel the need to now attack me?

@samosamo you are are starting to sound a little unhinged.

I think it’s time HQ took this thread down. It was questionable from the start.

Why was this thread questionable from the start?

If MN HQ takes it down because it’s questionable I’d really like to understand the justification.

@Diva66 you do realise the majority of MN is white.

Do you know the definition of ethnic MINORITY?

Think about it!

@june2007

Black mum with mixed race kids whats books that represent a mixed race family...This is aprroved of. White mum wit mixed race kids wants the same so come on here to ask told to go and google them. Or some will tell her but it,s not their job to educate right???? This is the gist I have from some of the posters.

Oh June give it a rest! If you genuinely want that info on multicultural books there has been threads covering this topic ALREADY!

Why don’t you know this? Because you haven’t come to be educated clearly

I think people are just seeing it on active, not realising it's not a general topic.

Also I guess if it's about blonde hair it's a topic that feels very general (if you didn't notice the parent group).

I understand it could be annoying or feel like a takeover, but doubt many if any of the non-black posters think black women can't have conversations without them.

I don't know what could be done about it, because it's just how this site works.

I've never posted on Black Mumsnetters, and I certainly never will now. I didn't realise it would cause so much upset.

Littleyll I was giving an example based on some previouse coments, it wasn,t about me. It just pointing out hypocrisy and double standards. (And i do know about the books thread hence why i used this example.).

There is nothing wrong with a board for black people.
I'm just sorry there's not enough of us for a mixed race or other singular races and ethnicities.
As I said before would have liked to have joined in with the racism thread, lot's of races are persecuted.
I think we all come under the BAME banner even some white races.

@Pechanga you not realising the upset that some of the comments can cause to black women seeking a safe space to discuss issues pertinent to them says it all. That’s part of white privilege. In fact it sounds as if you are now feeling that YOU are the one being transgressed and who is now offended. Classic really.

How much longer must ethnic minorities be told they are making too much of a fuss over issues that impact on them and their future in far reaching ways, including psychological trauma that’s experienced through these micro-incivilities day after day after day.

It’s not a big deal when you’re not in the receiving end and you have no idea of the damaging effects these things have.

It is a big deal. A very big deal. That child have already received the clear signal that they’re not that important from the teacher.

Imagine going to work every day and your boss keeps mistaking you for another person. CONSTANTLY. I guess for you it would be just a little oversight. I’m pretty sure everyday you would have gone hone feeling excluded.

I've reported this thread.
It's a rehash from all the shit the first time round.
We got our subsection, everything calmed down and this thread just seems deliberately inflammatory. There are many comments on here bordering (or just plain) on racism and it's crap to read at a time like this.

Mookie81 sums it up.

I’ve re-read the original post and cannot see why it is inappropriate or goady. Granted I don’t recall seeing and I never commented on the so-called famous start to Black MN. I assume that there’s a lot of history behind all these posts?

Mookie I’ve reported it too.

If you are really seeking a safe space, then an open topic on MN is not the place to do it.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why the SN topics don't routinely appear in active?

@RoseAndRose does a safe space mean hiding and being inconspicuous?

So should Black women remain invisible and in the shadows with their pesky topics if they want to have a safe space and not make others uncomfortable?

Is there no onus on others to simply respect the safe space? Is that too much to ask?

Is it the discomfort that you feel that makes you think this safe space should be hidden from your sight to spare you?

What exactly is the issue here? Can someone explain precisely why this thread should be taken down? Also is it Black mumsnetters that are asking for it to be taken down?

This whole thing is so ridiculous. Black women needing permission to have a safe space. Needing to be allowed by others to have a safe space and now the latest that they need to hide and not be seen in the open if they want a safe space. What next? That they should shut up and disappear? Too much fuss? Making others uncomfortable. Even asking mumsnet HQ to shut them down?

Seriously what is going on here?

I think you should address your comments to MNHQ, not me, but I thought perhaps it would be informative to do so in the light of the history of MN and why MNHQ does not provide safe spaces, as evidenced by the SN boards.

And if you knew that history, I doubt very much indeed that you would ascribe my attitude to discomfort. But if you want to assign me motives that I do not have, without reference to the events which I am talking about my actually crack on

(Plus of course the general nature of the Internet that 'safe' spaces do not exist other than in verified membership sites, and trying to pretend that open sites are safe is usually unhelpful. But I think you perhaps have a different meaning of safe space to that)

I'm reading when people say safe space to mean somewhere people can talk about issues that affect them without being talked over or asked to justify themselves and why they're there every five minutes

I never commented on the so-called famous start to Black MN. I assume that there’s a lot of history behind all these posts?

Yes

@Quaagars

I'm reading when people say safe space to mean somewhere people can talk about issues that affect them without being talked over or asked to justify themselves and why they're there every five minutes

In which case you, if you are not already aware of the history of the SN boards, you definitely would gain my becoming so

*by (not my)

I’m assuming MNHQ allowed the Black Mumsnetter space? And if you come across this space, why would you not respect the spirit of it? Why would you do your utmost to get it banned and to cause controversy? Some people are even coming up with the equivalent of “all lives matter” and “white lives matter”.

I don’t get the underlying anger and yes, discomfort over this space. I must be missing something. I’m truly disturbed by the efforts by some to shut this down. It seems the Black Women mumsnet space is seen as an affront. But why? Why is this thread seen as an affront?

In the context of this board, my understanding of the safe space here is the same as Quaagars.