The PESH Deli - The drinks might be virginal, but that's about all...

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in to the new haven for diffed BESHies. I think a group effort is needed here (and I'm being a lazy preggo), so please add to the deli whatever you crave/love/can stomach.

Nominations are also open for sexy fathers we can hijack to serve our mouldy cheese and cured ham

And the best mocktail recipe wins...well, bugger all to be honest

Curly That's brilliant news and I hope you get seen to asap! Not brilliant about the SPD obviously, but very good news that you're being taken seriously and will be looked at. Is it worth contacting the consultant to see if the physio can be arranged any quicker or do you think it's all in hand?

My good coat no longer does up, but that can't all be blamed on bump... the situation has been coming for some while. Thankfully I still had a coat left over from my much bigger days and it gapes - quite frankly as it's minus 8 again this morning I don't give a fuck. I want to get in to sleeveless, flowing dresses asap though!

iggy Just for you, my fb status started off with aspirations to become vets and has descended in to bumsex.

Violence and bumsex - a heady combination

Ladies I had movement last night, definite movement that was not to be mistaken for wind, trapped nerves or hunger pangs. Felt like a sucky poppy type feeling really low down which went on intermittently for about 10 minutes. Same this morning but I'd have to be really concentrating to tell if I was doing anything other than idling about in bed.

Texted Hom (didn't tell him last night cos he came to bed after Animals Do the Funniest Porn or something and I was asleep by then). His response? 'Yey' xxx

I'm sure he meant "woooooooo fuckin hoooooooo, yeay!" cunty. Emotion is so hard to determine on text
That's amazing news. Did you know right away that it was definitely baby? And had you been having similar feelings already, but dismissing them as wind or whatever?

ski. I think it's all in hand. she said it's usually Mondays, but i can't do this Monday anyway. And she asked if the physio could have all my phone numbers to sort out an appointment for as soon as. It's the Rheumy consultant that's a nightmare to reach. Thinking I might actually write to him, seeing as phone messages are not working!

ski how delightful

cassie glad they looking after you - and sounds like your MW will be good.

casser yeah I thought I wouldn't be able to identify baby movements from all the other odd noises and feelings there are, but I'm 95% confident that baby is what I felt cos it was SO unlike anything else and couldn't be mistaken for any other of the above.

I suspect for the time being I won't feel it very often as it will depend on where the little twizzler is resting as to where its limbs are. Quite exciting though, despite Hom's ennui

(he told me he was excited but he was with a customer)

cunty fab news!!! It's just luuurvely. I love that.

cassie good (sort of) news. Meaning that it looks like they're going to help, and take it seriously. I really do hope it's not anything horrid

Incidentally re maternity clothes, I've bought quite a lot off ebay which massively reduces the cost (and as an off-shoot is of course eco friendly )

Smacking - I think words like "brutal" are unhelpful. The word "smacking" means different things to different people and I really think it's something which should be less controversial to talk about. pony said I raise controversial topics but actually it's for a reason. I have no problem saying that I've smacked LC. I have. I have done it once in anger which I regret enormously and because of that I have gone along with YOB's strict no-smack policy generally, but other than one other time where I smacked him and thought in retrospect some other punishment would have been better, I have always done it with thought and consideration.

Smacking isn't beating or even really hurting a child. It shouldn't leave even a red mark - and obviously anything worse than that is wrong. But that isn't smacking - that's beating.

I agree that generally it's not the best option - but I believe that sometimes it is. I guess that I've smacked LC maybe 5 to 7 times in his life - it's not a regular thing - and I refuse to feel guilty about those, even where I regret it - which is different to feeling guilty - I learnt from the mistake, apologised to LC, and moved on. After all, when any of us is perfect...

I guess that my point in raising this is that I've been thinking a lot recently about how LC will interact with the new baby, and therefore parenting in general, and as many of you have I'd had lots of people trying to give me advice - although if one more person says, "oh DON'T find out the sex, it should be a surprise" I'll probably smack them. I feel that there is far too much of people making judgements about aspects of parenting that they chose not to do themselves. Therefore the point of my OP was to encourage those especially whose first time this is to really ignore the judgements and make their own choices from the opinions and advice they're given, their own experience and their own beliefs. And don't allow people who say that this or that or the other is wrong to influence you IF you believe you are right and your child is happy.

That's my advice. Feel free to ignore it.

I can't guarantee I won't smack (as carrots describes) my child. I'm lucky enough to accept that I am imperfect and that sometimes I can make mistakes. I've not got my head in the clouds wrt my own actions, nor am I planning to raise a little brat.

Which makes me perfect!

rots I find the opposite... people keep asking if we will find out the sex - I say no - they look at me oddly and say 'well I did'

I should know what I am having come March 6 . Now that we've made the decision I'm quite excited about it. But I'm banned from talking names or buying any more baby clothes till we know...

I'm being scanned two days in a row

I can find out at my next scan on Feb 10th... but we have decided not to... even though everyone seems to think they already know

haha Curly You'll be the first woman in the history of the world to be scanned and you'll reply "bovvered" because you saw it all just "yesterday".

cunty That's lovely about the movement - mine is still farts.

Maybe ski! Mind you, second one is private, with better equipment (and a screen that I can actually see) so I reckon it will be more interesting. And of course, more light hearted than the anomaly one the day before. For some reason I wasn't comfortable doing the gender scan until after the anomaly scan. Otherwise I'd be having it at bang on 18 weeks!

I am admiring the willpower of those keeping it a secret.

iggy I can't believe just how many people expect you will know after the 12-week scan. Maybe you should tell them it's a hermaphrodite, just to see the look on their faces

We will find out... tomorrow!! But we have decided not to tell.
I am still not sure whether that means I'm not telling you lot though. I mean, none of you are actually real people are you, so maybe it doesn't count?

pone you must tell us - we are figments of your imagination

cas I might do that

ski what you said to cas, that was me at the nuchal scan after an hour of it. Couldn't see the screen anyway. I came back and people kept saying, "was it wonderful?" and I had to say, "no, it was bloody awful, and here's the crappy picture coz it wouldn't bloody turn over". V envious of cassie's lovely photo on t'other place!

And before someone jumps in and says it, yes of course I'd have bloody well preferred it if something had been wrong/I'd not had the option to be scanned/I wasn't even pregnant to go through it. [irritated emoticon].

But it was nice all the same for YOB who got to look at his babs for a whole hour, and hold my hand while I crushed it in pain as the scanner was jabbed further into my overe-filled bladder.

rots why did you have full bladder for the scan? I was told to go to loo first for the 12 week one...

Although needed full bladder for the 8 week one - and I know what you mean about the jabbing! But wouldn't have managed an hour!

Ski - I saw the responses I expected.

Just as Carrots refuses to feel guilty for smacking her child, I feel as strongly that it is wrong to smack. I absolutely do not see how hitting a child is anything other than a parent's inability to deal with a situation appropriately or effectively. Or that not being able to guarantee you will not smack is somehow an excuse for not taking responsibility for your loss of control. Of course, nobody is perfect and everyone loses control sometimes but the more you think it is acceptable to smack because you have lost control, imo, the more likely you are to do it.

I shall also leave this thread now. I find you unwelcoming and most of your views repulsive. So this is my flounce. I will be on the BESH thread, so I guess I will see you around.

iggy I was told off for bladder not being full enough at 12-week scan. But your place probably has better gear. (like a sonographer with x-ray vision ).

Despite peeing after 8-week scan, I drank so much I was in agony from needing again on drive home. I was nearly crying/screaming out loud I was so desperate. SFF nearly sent me into a bush But we made it home . Never Again.

By the way, iggster I might have found an opportunity to return to the big city in a few weeks (messaged you).

pone OMG tomorrow!! (wetting self a little). That's how I feel - don't know whether to tell or who to tell, just because I'm scared of someone "finding" me and letting the cat out of the bag. Maybe easier if we just tell people. But then, what if they are wrong?

Hey, was that a real or a pretend flounce? (Apols if is not real, cannot tell, have thick head today). If real, then Beshie sorry we have upset you. I thought the joy of the BESH/PESH threads were that we could agree to disagree and not judge one another about our choices (reserving judging for outsiders, obv...). Not sure what's just happened tbh.

I had managed to read bessie's views but miss the flounce, which, AFAIK, brands us all as unwelcoming and repulsive, even where we haven't even expressed an opinion. Very hurtful.

iggs I think that's it, it's the quality of the gear.

cas I also feel the same about what if they're wrong, espec after being told yesterday that it happens a lot at my place...

For future reference, I would add that, if I choose to ignore a topic of conversation, it does not mean I want to ignore the MNer involved (that I am being unwelcoming). Rather, I might simply not want to comment. I am an incredibly argumentative person in RL, so in the main I choose to stick with factual baby-related stuff and carefree fun while I am online. That's my choice and I don't care what anyone thinks about it.

BUMSEX!!!!

@ casper

I though this was really interesting:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8425901.stm

I just emailed it to a friend who has thyroid issues and a really hard delivery to think about.

If any of you lot do, it's worth looking into I should think.

Sorry, I have to say this:

"Of course, nobody is perfect and everyone loses control sometimes but the more you think it is acceptable to smack because you have lost control, imo, the more likely you are to do it."

I think that if you read what I said, I said that I once did in anger. I said that I very much regretted it and it was wrong, and I even apologised to my child for it. Noone has said that it's acceptable to smack because you have lost control. I personally feel that the most important time to not smack a child is when one is not in control of one's emotions. But, to do so does not make one a bad parent or bad person, either. Shit happens.