Due in Dec 09: counting down until the Xmas puddings arrive

[GoldenSnitch]

Oops, no-one made a new thread before the old one got full, hope everyone finds this one...

Yes I understand that feeling - I am someone who likes everyone to happy but learnt a few years ago that some friends just need to be cut out, or at least not relied on. The other friend sounds lovely, she's put some thought into things and that means an awful lot.

What do you think she'd be like around your new arrival? What if she made some nasty comment about him/her which sounds possible after what you've said she's said to you. Just a thought. If she's not sparing your feelings now there's a chance she won't change once the little bundle is here.

If you're feeling anything like me at the moment you need a stress free time with as much relaxing feet up time as possible. Try not to worry about this woman, tell yourself it is her problem, that she needs to deal with.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now, been on here far too long but I hope you can get a good night's sleep and try not to worry too much x

Sorry just read your last message.

I had a friend who I went through uni with and we were very close but she got really really competitive - if I got a new job, she overshadowed it with a payrise, if I booked a holiday she'd book a better one the next day, I got engaged so she took off to Vegas to get married quickly... you know the sort.

In the end I just realised that actually she wasn't adding anything to my life, she was making me cross and bitter, and we drifted apart and now never speak. There's more to it than that but that's the basic gist of it.

She tried contacting me a year or so ago but within a day of emailing she'd got my back up about life so I just stopped emailing her again. It's sad but sometimes it's just better for everyone in the long run.

If she apologises then this is all water under the bridge, if she can change her ways, but why should you have to put up with the stress and being used as an emotional punch bag in the meantime?

My advice would be to leave it alone and if she asks what the problem is then brace yourself to sit down with her and be honest.

But also don't stress too much about it, watch your blood pressure xxxx

Thanks 'Fed up' care about her so much but dont feel i should be punished for what is not happening in her life. I totally need stress free at the moment, to prepare my head for what is going to happen shortly (max weeks if i go 2 weeks over). I can imagine her comments so clearly if i dont manage to breastfeed or if its a whinger like my dd was!!!! We will see, thanks for listening!!!! xxxx

Thanks again, she is very competitive and I am soooooo not. I live in a rented house, with everyones cast offs, have little money, second hand clothes, a big old telly ...... but a gorgeous well behaved dd...... her dd is a real handful which is another issue too!!!!! When she bought a house i was over the moon for her...... even though i was sad inside that me and dp havent got two pennies to rub together and that buying a house is very very unlikely for a long time. You are probably right and are saying the same as my dp!!!! And my blood pressure is well and truly up and my veins in my hands are throbbing which is a sure sign i am totally stressed out!!!! But you know what i love my dp, dd and baby in my tummy and thats what matters!!!!!!!!!! She is a friend i met through my ex p..... if you have read any of my history (Majormug) you will know why thats probably not a good idea anyway!!!!

Millie - sorry to hear about your being sick, my flatmate at uni had hand, foot and mouth, so I have some idea how you must feel. Hope it all goes well and that you get over the worst of it soon.

Sparkly - I agree with what everyone else has said, leave it be for a while, it sounds like you have all the support you need from your DP and other friends, concentrate on these positive relationships. Your baby needs to be born into this positivity and you need it too.
Take care.

Sparkly - I think you've been more than understanding of why it might be difficult for your friend that you're pregnant. I agree with everyone else that you should take a step back & see if she makes any effort, friends shouldn't treat you the way she has.

I got very excited last night as I booked fantastic Bon Jovi tickets & baby went a bit mad bouncing about like crazy. I'm starting to reconnect with him now. Had been feeling a bit detached with everything that happened & had been really worried I wouldn't bond with him when he arrived but feeling much more positive now. Getting scared about the whole birth thing though.

Arghh - Thanks for setting one aside for me. I suppose messaging you on here while you were at work was not the best way of telling you he was on his way I would have e-mailed but DH has been messing with the PC again and I couldn't for a few days. Is it your last day today? You must be so pleased! Thank you so much for all your kindness with the vouchers and the windmill, you are lovely

Sparkly - it sounds like the best thing you can do is cut out this 'friend' for a little while, at least until baby is here. The last thing you need right now is to be making yourself ill over some silly mare who can't be pleased for a friend. Concentrate on you and your family for now and if she still seems important in a couple of months once baby is here and settled then try again. You may find that the drama that disappears along with her is a welcome loss - I know I did when I had to cut ties with a friend who was just making my life a misery - and you'll not want it back again.

Millie-Hope you get better soon, poor you!

Sparkly-I could have wrote your post a matter of months ago, has have had the same issues with someone i called my very best friend. When i had my missed miscarriage at 12 weeks back in January, instead of being supportive as i have to her on a number of occasions, she turned nasty and basically told me to pull myself together, it obviously wasnt meant to be etc etc! Anyway, to cut a very long story short, i cried a lot of tears over our 'lost' friendship, but have come to realise it is really not worth being upset over. We are on speaking terms now, but things will never be the same again. We stopped speaking beginning of Feb, i never text her or anything and she got back in contact with me end September, saying how sorry she was etc. When i see how my true friends are, i realise she was really out of order. Big hugs, its not nice for you what you are going through, but just try and forget about her for now, if she does get back in touch make sure you let her know you will not stand for this kind of behaviour!!

Hope all the rest of our mummies to be are doing well Claire-great news that babba still staying put, clever baby.

Ive just used my Mothercare voucher sent kindly by Arrggh, am feeling more sorted now. Nursery now all painted, furniture arriving tomorrow and we,ll put up cot,even though LO will be in our room in a crib for first few months. Cant wait to get baby clothes washed and put away.

Cant believe I only have 4 weeks and 4 days to go!

x-posted with claire-How very i am of you booking Bon Jovi tickets! I absolutely love them, have seen them live 4 times now. May just have to have a look at where they are playing........

This will be the 4th time we've seen them. They're fantastic aren't they, especially live. We decided this time to spend the extra on really good tickets so should make it even better. They're only at the O2 in the UK unless they plan on announcing any other venues later. Tickets went on general sale this morning.

I need a quick rant - I have just had a stand up row with some stupid old hag in a shop in my local town (which I really hate and can't wait to move from) because she barged into me without a word and when I said sarcastically "No, Excuse Me" she launched into a tirade at me about how I must be deaf and how she said excuse me actually. I said I didn't hear anything and thought she should watch where she was going as I was standing still in a queue to pay, I didn't move and she barged me, and I am 8 months pregnant etc and she shouted at me that it was my fault and I was hormonal and very rude.

The shop assistant was on my side and said there are loads of very rude old people in our town and because she was nice to me I started crying - I am so cross with myself that I cry so easily at the moment - but I am just still really angry with that stupid woman.

Just wanted to get that off my chest

Thanks

She sounds like a delight. I cry at the drop of a hat at the moment & it's really annoying. Not surprised you're angry with the ignorant old cow. Bet she's one of theose old people who's always going on about how everyone else is rude as well.

All the old people in this town think they own it (it is a retirement haven) but there are loads of younger people here and it's always the old people who tut at buggies or small children on the pavement etc. Honestly, where do they think we're going to walk, in the road? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thanks for your sympathy x

I could cry right now.

DS is having a throwing everything phase. It's been going on for weeks and no amount of telling him not to and sending him to the naughty step seems to be working.

We've been at a friends house this morning and I've talked to him 4 or 5 times about throwing. He even hit at least 2 other kids with stuff he was throwing. Last straw came when he threw a big helicopter toy at friends conservatory window!

I brought him straight home after than even though he was crying cause he didn't to leave. Naughty step wasn't working cause all the other toddlers kept talking to him on the step and there was no-where out of the way to put him.

I'm so ashamed of him right now and feel so out of control

Snitch-Big hugs to you, as DS was like this but thankfully that phase passed. Just take deep breaths and keep repeating to yourself 'it is just a phase, it will pass..'
DS was a horrorhandful when he was 2 but thankfully on the whole now he is a delight, but he is 4 now so old enough to know better.

Fed up-Hope you've calmed down after your run in with the, ahem delightful old lady. I too can cry at the drop of a hat so would probably have done the same in your situation.

Thanks Annie

Sounds like a few of us have been having awful days today

I think I would have shouted at your old lady too fedup How rude!!

Sorry your ds has been giving you a hard time Snitch. We're obviously gluttons for punishment to be doing it again aren't we.

I will admit to having the odd "what on Earth am I doing" moment!

It'll be worth it when they're playing happily together - right?

Thanks everyone.... am stepping back but it really hurts!!!! Saw 2 friends today who are just lovely and happy for me..... came away feeling tonnes better!!!

Snitch..... the friends I saw today have boys and they were fighting over toys..... really fighting..... stuff got thrown, broken, food trodden in carpet ....... we had to just laugh in end!!!! One of boys slammed a toy on another boys hand cos he ha to give the toy back!!! The boys are all 3 and we just took it in turns to tell them all off!!!

Snitch - had a few of those moments myself. I'll have 2 boys so will that mean the sort of fighting sparkly describes. Sometimes I'm glad I work full time.

Sparkly - I'm sure it does hurt. Glad you've got positive friends to give you a boost though.

Got our new car yesterday which is very lovely & much more sensible than the old one.

Who's trick or treating today? ds is going with a couple of his friends & their mums then we're all meeting up for a little drink afterwards.

Hello everyone.

Sorry that you are feeling a bit fed up Snitch. I'm getting very stressed about how I will manage with two, some days I feel sick when I think about it and can't feel excited about the new baby at all.

I'm also getting horrible muscle cramps in my legs and feet at night, really painful and difficult to get rid of. I think I remember these from last time, is anyone else getting them? And during the day my legs feel like lead weights and I feel faint at the slightest exertion.

Can't wait to get a date for my section!

I get the feeling faint thing too!! One trip up and down the stairs and I have to sit down!! And sleeping is becoming next to impossible. Everything aches when I lay on it and I'm awake every hour or so to turn over or pee!!

I was up for at least an hour last night feeling very down and unable to sleep too. Really, really worried that I'm getting depressed now. I hated myself last night.

My friend who has two boys gets all out fighting a lot. At least with a boy and a girl it should be slightly less violent round here

On the plus side, I'm getting some more stuff ordered today so I'll be closer to being ready for this baby and Christmas which should make me feel a little more in control and I'm seeing the consultant on Monday and will hopefully get the date for my ELCS

Baby has a name too - she will be Catherine. Just got to pick a middle name now...

I think you're doing the right thing sparkly. We're all here if you need to chat in the meantime...

Oh, and Happy Halloween everybody

Just finished the pumpkin, just in time for it to start getting dark...

Have added a photo if anyone wants to see