Due in Dec 09: counting down until the Xmas puddings arrive

[GoldenSnitch]

Oops, no-one made a new thread before the old one got full, hope everyone finds this one...

I mentioned feeling down to the Doctor (I've had proper depression in the past so thought it was wise) and he just put it down to being tired, which I am. To be honest, that's what I think it is too. I just feel slightly disconnected from the world and unable to motivate myself to do stuff rather than the stifling, self hating, crushing depression I've had in the past. I'm still able to have fun and giggles with DS, although he is watching far too much TV while I slob out recently

Other than that, my blood count is fine (so I can stop taking the iron tablets - yey), my blood pressure is fine, bump is measuring perfectly for dates (so ner to all those women at Toddler Group telling me I'm huge) and her heart rate is brilliant. So all good

Just waiting for my consultant appointment on Monday now to hopefully book my ELCS date. Maybe that will make me feel a little bit more in control.

Still got to clear out and paint baby's room and finish getting Christmas presents. Haven't even started on Hospital bag!!

BlairSnitch I went through the same thing (and have also had depression in the past) and this was definitely different. Just a feeling of being fed up, fat, bad back, stroppy 2 year old DS, DH going away to Canada for a week (grr) and extreme tiredness, plus hormones all over the place. Feeling a lot better now that I've been getting the iron inside me. I am glad you are feeling better now.

I've got my consultant appointment the week after next too so like you it will be nice to get that sorted. Are you going to try for a VBAC if labour starts naturally?

Don't overdo the painting etc - for me hospital bag was the priority, then Christmas (and DS's birthday on the 30th) - baby can wait for a few months if necessary to have a nice room maybe? Just spouting what I was told when I had depression and turned into a control freak - just pick small jobs to do first to make yourself feel like you've achieved something, and break down big jobs into manageable sized bites.

Sorry if lecturey xxx

Anyone had what feels like a stitch in their side, just under their boobs? Had it on my right yesterday and today on my left but it its really sharp and quite painful

I don't think I'd try a VBAC. I'd love to but I've spoken to two different midwives no who have said that my issues with DS's birth were, in their opinion, down to DS being too big for me to deliver naturally. He was a long baby and I am short so even though he wasn't particularly heavy, he was very squished in there and hadn't been able to get into the right position. We were both quite poorly after his birth. A second EMCS is by far the most dangerous option (so my book tells me) so it's ELCS all the way for me. I'm disappointed that I'll never get to experience a natural labour (we're not having any more) but I'd rather have healthy children and it seems I can't have both

I want to have Christmas and babies room sorted before we go to Center Parcs on the 23rd November so we've got about a month left to go. I have some presents and ideas for most of the rest and have bought in most of the stuff I will need to go in my hospital bag, I just can't pack it till I have somewhere to put it. Need to get crib from MIL's and a new mattress bought soon else DD will have nowhere to sleep! Need to get clothes down from the loft to wash them too.

Want to try to finish sorting getting stuff out of DD's room this weekend. After that I give up and will concentrate on the other stuff. She'll be in our room for a few months anyway so she doesn't need her own room for a while..

Hey ladies, I have also suffered depression and anxiety in the past and at the moment am feeling strange. Not depressed, as such, but more kind of negative, uncertain and irrational. Also because of my usual medication I feel kind of removed from these feelings and can't quite seem to get over the top of them. It's all a bit strange, seeing midwife next week.

Millie - yes totally really yucky stitchy type feeling right on top of my bump, and finding it impossible to bend over (which is good for getting DH to fill and empty the dishwasher, but otherwise agony).

On the plus side I have done all my xmas shopping online and it has all arrived, so that's one thing down. However, we are planning to put in an offer on a house tomorrow and as it is a new-build and ready to go, I'd really prefer to move before baby arrives - must be mad, but I really don't think I'll feel like moving after he arrives which means we'll be stuck in our rented flat for another 6 months.

Not long to go though!!!

"negative, uncertain and irrational" - That's it! Perfectly. My Doctor says it's because I'm tired. Not sure what I'm supposed to do about that, it's hard to catch up on sleep and rest with a 2 year old on the go...

Haven't seen Arghh for a while, hope she's OK...

Sorry yes I should know better than to stay quiet at this late stage! Baby is still inside! Just trying to get through my last week, such drama at work everyone is getting the Pre-Christmas stress outs so ive been preoccupied with that.

Im sorry you are feeling so tired Snitch, is there nobody about to have your DS for a couple of hours? If I was closer id offer the distraction of my DS, we could lock them together in a room and use the time to catch up on sleep!!

My Mum came down on Monday but she caused more work than she saved me!

MIL has Mondays and Fridays off but I haven't asked her to help yet. We've got a Halloween Party tomorrow so DS will need to be with me and she's having him while DH and I go to my consultant appointment on Monday. DH has taken the whole day off so I should get some time off then...

Hope your last week at work goes well Arghhh. At least you'll be out of the way before the mega stress starts...

hi ladies, well i've finally bought everything!! I went shopping yesterday for xmas prezzies but ended up in the pushchair shop...... but it was fun

DP was a bit cross that I didn't get the one he wanted but he wont be using it as much as me so it tuff!!

Completly tired out - no chance of a full nights sleep as have to get up every 2/3 hrs for the loo, to turn over or for leg cramps - but just a few more weeks and we'll be looking after our newborns & will think back to how much rest we had before lol

DS slept right through last night and I feel a little better today. Still tired and still relying too heavily on Cbeebies but trying not to feel too guilty about it.

Hi girls, guess who has hand, foot & mouth! I do! Had it in march so remember what its like, the sores on my fingers and tongue are exactly the same so guessing some will appear on my feet over the weekend. DS doesn't appear to have it as yet but I'll be keeping an eye on him. Unfortunately last time I had it was the same week I found out about my missed miscarriage so doesnt bring back great memories. Incubation is 3-6 days and baby had stopped growing 3 weeks previously so doubt the 2 things were related but still.
Chances are everything is ok, fingers crossed anyway xx

Oh No! Get well soon Millie

Hope you're better soon Millie.

On the subject of sleep I got so little because of heartburn from about 16 weeks with ds that when he arrived I actually ended up getting more sleep. As this time round heartburn has been worse if anything plus all the worry & the fact that I'm much bigger & unbelievably uncomfortable I'm hoping the sleep situation will improve once baby arrives.

Had ob appt again today & everything fine. Monitored baby for 30 mins & no sign of a contraction, had another scan & he's doing well. 35 weeks on Monday which is what we've been aiming at so hopefully will be able to relax soon. In fact the general feeling of being able to relax is so great that I haven't got to go back to hospital until 18 Nov.

Sorry you are so poorly milliemuffin, hope you get better soon.
Glad you got some rest snitch.
Glad the appt went well for you Claire236.

I think I might be leaking waters slightly. nothing major, sorry TMI, but aswell as the usual yucky discharge Ive been getting something thats thinner, def not wee because I actually smelled it!! Hmmm I have a scan on Tuesday so if it doesnt get better/worse I shall ask them then. My bump isnt getting smaller so im unsure.

LAST DAY AT WORK TOMORROW! YAY!

Snitch, quick question, did you still want the pink windmill because its now the last one we have and we have someone else now waiting for one, so if you didnt want it anymore she could have that one. plus the boss is back Monday and he'll make the staff put it back on sale and I wont be there to hide it!

I sent DH into your shop on Tuesday and he got one..

I didn't know whether he should ask for you or not.

Sorry

lmao! I put one aside because I was going to put it through on my staff discount! Well at least you got it!

Gah and he would of got the one that had a battered box I made sure I put the nicest box aside. Buggery.

Millie I hope you are ok now!!!
I have had a horrid fall out with someone who likes to call themselves my best friend but really isnt!!!! SHe is struggling to conceive and I have been there for her at every turn in every way I can. I have totally played down my pregnancy and she has not shown any interest other than to criticise my choice of nursery bedding, baby clothes, names etc etc I had awful sickness for what seemed like forever and she never once offered to feed my dd or help in any way...... but i never asked or expected her to. I am due in 4 weeks ish and i am starting to get scared about how i will cope, I went into some sort of psychosis with my daughter and had to be seen by all sorts of people!!! My dp works so very hard i am often on my own. recently my dd went away for 4 nights and i missed her terribly and despite numerous hints to my friend and invites round cos i was really struggling without my dd there (she was fine i might add and having a great time!!) i realised that basically my friend didnt care, she just told me she wouldnt let her dd go away for 4 nights at 7.5 years old so basically it was my own fault. She never made the effort to come round, but drove past my house etc...... anyway to cut a long story short she basically cant handle me being pregnant but won't admit it, she puts a downer on everything i have got or done in relation to baby or being pregnant. It has really wore me down. Basically it has come to a head and when i tried to tell her how i feel she just shot me down, announced she was moving away and is now ignoring me. All i have said is that i am finding it difficult because she is supposed to be my best friend but she always seems so negative with me, and that i need support and positive support. I told her she was a special friend but that i am finding it hard to play my pregnancy down now i am so far on because soon i will have a baby that i cant hide. i think the world of her but me being pregnant has driven a huge wedge between us and I have spent 8 months feeling guilty that it happened so easily for me. I have had a really tough time with life, finally i find an amazing man and we are having a baby together and i should be so happy but this is getting me down. she doesnt even give me a hug on the few occasions i have seen her because she doesnt want to touch bump!!! Honestly i feel and have been sick, i am dizzy, i have the runs (sorry tmi) i cant stop crying. My dp is going mad and telling me it doesnt matter and to ignore her but thats not in my nature..... i let everything bother me and always blame myself. I have sent her 4 text messages saying i am sorry and pleas dont ignore me.... this is awful. I do have lots of friends who are so happy for me and are being lovely but this has really stuck in me!!!!

SORRY GUYS THIS IS SO LONG.... I DONT WANT TO POST IN ANY OTHER SECTION COS I WANT SOME SUPPORT NOT AN ARGUMENT!!! XX

Oh sparkly, that sounds awful for you.

I would leave things now I think. Wait until the baby is born and then let her know that you would be happy if she were to come round and visit, once you feel up to it of course, but explain that you understand that she might find it difficult given her own circumstances. Don't push things now, just make sure that you leave it all open and that this friend knows that she can come back into your life if she wants to. It may be that a break will be more positive and less damaging to your longer term friendship than trying to force things to mend now when you are both clearly very vulnerable and emotionally fragile.

Get the support that you need now from those who are able to provide it, like your lovely dp.

[hugs].

I think i will have to leave it because it is just tearing me apart..... she really is being so unkind at times and whilst i feel for her so so very very much i have to out my own mental health first for the sake of my children and dp. I have other friendds who have had awful situations relating to pregnancy and conception who are dealing with it in a very different way and are still able to be happy for me. Telling me my nursery bedding looked cheap and boyish (we dont know what we are having) and that she thinks our names are too 'normal' and that why on earth would breast feeding be difficult.... she found it easy (she does have 1 dd already), is just unkind and really whatever is happening surely she could just say nothing. I would rather she just said..... you know what i am finding watching you be pregnant really hard so please dont be offended if i am quiet.... than being really vindictive!!!!

Having a good cry and baby goes mad when i am upset so now i feel really mean!!

Sorry to hear all that sparkly, sounds really a horrible time. I know it's easy for me to be objective but can you try and step back a bit and ask why you want this person in your life?

Friends ought to be supportive, non-competitive, non-judgemental and fun to be with, or if they're having a hard time then they need to be someone who you want to help and spend time with anyway.

Is she any of those things?

Sometimes it's easier just to say that a friendship is over, much like a crappy relationship with a man that is going nowhere. It's nobody's fault, just one of those horrible times in life.

If she can't be happy for you, when she's already got one child, then she doesn't sound worth much. If she had no children and had been trying for years then I could understand bitterness but can't she be grateful for what she's got?

Just try and focus on your family and your beautiful child who will be with you soon. Everyone else is irrelevent at the moment.

xxx

Its just awful because honestly i have been there for her. SHe has one very healthy daughter. It was ok when i wasnt showing, when i hadnt bought anything and when i was really sick and she could talk about how healthy she was with her dd. The minute i started having scans and appointments there was no interest at all..... she never asked how i got on or wanted to see a scan pic..... which i totally understood and therefore never pushed it. But now its getting nasty...... like she is enjoying putting me down..... i think at first she just thought it wouldnt actually happen. BUt it is and I am actually really healthy.....lucky i know but have no swelling, blood pressure is fine etc etc. I loved the friendship we had before i fell pregnant but now it is just too stressful. Fortunately a completey seperate friend arrived today with loads of lovely neutral baby stuff and a girl and a boy outfit, a doll for my dd so whatever we have she can have the opposite outfit for her doll etc etc and that really takes some thought!!!
Its not that she bought material stuff but that she showed she cared for me and my dd!!!! I am lucky I do have lots of very good friends..... i just hate falling out with anyone!!!!

Fed up....... she is none of those things at the moment and when i look back she has always been very competitive, judgemental and opinionated!!!!!