December 2008 Once you pop you can't stop

[Veggiemummy]

surely most of us will go on this one

Congratulations Bisou & Simmo!

How many are left to go now?!

Kayz I've been using the Pick up/put down method with ds to get him to sleep & its starting to work. Basically, when they cry you pick them up but as soon as they've settled you put them down again. It does take time, we've been doing it for about 3 days now, but it also gives them the reassurance that you are still there and will come to them.

I'll apologise now because I'm about to have a rant about dh. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling really tired & a bit upset over how much harder it is now than when I had ds1. With ds1 I could get some rest during the day etc but I can't now plus I'm the one doing all the cleaning/washing etc. Dh keeps asking if I'm ok but if I say I'm tired he just jumps in with 'Me too, I didn't get to bed until 2am' or 'Its a bit late to put him back'. Either of those comments just makes me want to hit him. Its like he doesn't really want to hear about how I'm feeling yet 'we're in this together'. But right now I'm feeling tired, weepy & too stressed to enjoy my 2 boys & on top of that, don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to about it all .

Sorry for the rant but I really needed to get it off my chest.

Hope everyone else is doing a bit better.

Morning everyone and congratulations on all the new babies! Some real epic stories there,

lowrib i third what everyone else haqs been saying about writing to complain about the midwife, she definitely shouldn't be imposing that sort of labour on people.

reban wow what an adventure! and what a lovely midwife!

bisou yowza that's a long labour, what a fantastic little boy at the end of it all

cat i know exactly what you mean about all the conflicting advice, a friend told me find one person/book you trust and then ignore everything else. there are so many ways of parenting, it's easier to decide on one and go with it rather than try a bit of everything. and of course being new to it all we don't know what the signs are - it will take a while to learn but meanwhile your baby's doing fine [hug]

rosmerta have some hugs too, sounds like a rough time. DH is similar - he mananges to sleep through dd's grizzling (and snores to really rub it in ) and in the morning still says he's tired... try having spent half the night with a baby gnawing on your nips mate! I have this book which says try to avoid scorekeeping (I had a worse night /i've done more nappies today) but it would really need your dh to be a bit more helpful as it's all about sharing the work and coping with the new roles of parenthood

www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-proofing-Your-Marriage-Communicate-Better/dp/0007243634/r ef=sr11?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230540547&sr=8-1

dd's latest trick is to make hungry signs, then when i put her to the boob she opens her mouth and just bounces her head on and off without attaching. is this what they call 'fussing'?? it's quite amusing to watch, until she gets cross and cries i know i should be supporting her head and helping her to the right place but she's starting to get head control and also both hands are usually busy trying to keep her vaguely in place - she's also taken to scrunching up her knees and pushing at my body, usually kicking the other boob

even so she's still wonderful - looking pretty darn lovely this morning nuzzled up inside my dressing gown in just her nappy - starting to get fatter but still really tiny, and all snoozy and milky [soppy]

at everyone.

hi verso.

i am being but thought you'd like to know that indith had a home water birth on 24/12, i think.

i won't steal anymore of her thunder and let you wait for the rest of the info.

ooh congrats to Indith and Bisou

Not many of us to go - am running clary sage bath as we speak. As I'm now officially LAST on the list I don't expect much to be happening soon

on the bright side, I don;t have to see anyone re: being overdue until the 5th as they're all on hols so I can (try to) relax and see what happens . I think SPD is finally kciking in properly tho which is depressing. Walking is NOT fun.

Congrats Indith!!!

Thanks Rosmerta I think we will try that tonight. Anything to get to sleep before midnight.

Well the HV rang earlier and she can't come out today so she is coming tomorrow. Doesn't matter too much as we are waiting in for a bookcase to be delivered anyway.

Hello girls

Hearty congratulations to Kim and Simmo and dear Bisou. Interesting birth story, Bisou. Glad you are both ok. I think you were v brave. Reban, that is another good story - it had the pace of a thriller! Didn't you have her at GH hospital where my sister works?

Effie, Oli, Turnip and others - wonder if you will be having January babies? Sending you my potent, now trademarked 'baby be born' vibes - or 'baby stay put' vibes for those wanting an undisturbed New Year's Eve...Hope things are going well, Ice.

Mibbes - DD is adorable and I love her to the end of the numbers but there are times when, frankly, it's a bit of a treadmill in terms of the endless feeding, winding, changing, (and with ff the orgy of sterilising and making up bottles, though obviously that doesn't compare to the soreness of breastfeeding). What Oli and others have said is right: coupled with getting over the birth, the swirl of hormones, the sleep deprivation and the general cataclysmic effect on life in general it's a constant wonder to me that any of us can put one foot in front of the other. It's blimmin' HARD. Congratulate yourself on getting through the days and enjoy it when you can. Not that I am the Mistress of Zen. I still feel a little emotionally fragile five weeks later, and am starting to wonder if this is now my permanent state and just comes with motherhood! I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves to be fabulous in every way. I know I do and life would be so much more serene if I didn't.

You mention a cuddle from DH, Kayz - sometimes I feel like I need more affection from DP and there isn't really the time at the moment and understandably he'd rather cuddle and kiss DD. I know it's an unsavoury thing to admit but now and then it makes me feel a bit bad. It's also a bit hypocritical, as I am always kissing and cuddling her too (mind you, I do make time for him as well). I feel such a heel whenever I feel this way - whoever heard of anyone feeling a bit jealous of their own, much loved baby - but I am not going to sanitise my feelings on here, even if it makes me sound like a bit crummy, as that would be a) dishonest and b) pointless.

Arti - Babington House! What heaven.

Rosmerta - I am sorry you are having trouble with your DH. Is there any trusted third party you could get to have a subtle and quiet word with him? You can't do everything, it's too much of a strain. Or, even if you do have to do everything, he needs to show you a little sympathy and understanding. Even if someone isn't pulling their weight, however much you want to tell them to buck up, I do find that huge and inordinate praise when they DO do something helpful encourages more help to follow...even though what you secretly want to do is list all their shortcomings in a shouty voice. You can tell me I'm a 1950s relic if you like but if you ever want someone to do something, I'm afraid it's carrot all the way, even if they richly deserve a dose of stick...

Well, I am off to buff up my halo with a spot of Mister Sheen - we are off to the MiL's later for two whole nights. I SOOOOOOO want to stay at home. I feel all defensive already. Keep batting, you all.

OOh and congrats to Indith for when she comes on.

And Veggie - Jordan is a good name for a boy. Intrigued to hear what the middle name is (it's such a nice idea) and Verso, hope you are feeling better. Right, I am going now cos DD is waking up.

LadyT Its strange isn't it. A lot of women spend 9 months not wanting much affection etc and then when the baby arrives you do want affection. Then your DP/Hs give all their affection to the lo. Plus there is the huge bump stopping too much affection and now there is a little baby.
Have fun at MIL's. Practice nodding and saying "Hmm"

Congratulations Bisou. What an epic story. You sound like you did brilliantly. Our LOs share the same head circumfrance - don't they look huge?!

Congrats to Indith too.

Good luck with MiL LadyT.

Sorry you are feeling poorly Kayz. Veggie tyhanks for the advice/support re constant cuddles. It just doesn't seem natural to me to put a baby down lots when they are used to being snuggled inside you. And dd is so warm and soft and relaxing to hold...

I think I over did it a little yesterday. We went out properly, to shops and lunch, and it has made my bleeding much heavier and my pelvic floor aches. Going to have a quiet one today but need to bake a cake as its dh's birthday tomorrow. Have found a lovely Nigel Slater recipe and dd1 is going to "help" while dh cuddles dd2 and watches his gavin and stacey box set.

haven't caught up with anything, but will do. just wanted to let you know that Rosanna Annelie (otherwise known as Rosie when she's behaving) was born at 5.34pm on Christmas Day at 3.454kg which made her 7lb 6oz, although was convinced we were told 7lb 10oz - thanks ladyt for passing the message on. it was an emergency cesarean which was a bit more emergency than they realised, i think, so bugger all that wonderful active birth stuff i planned.

will post full story (think it will be therapeutic to write) later. bf going relatively well despite cracked and bleeding and sore nipples.

got home yesterday on my b'day, so celebrated christmas, b'day and rosie for the first time. she rewarded us with a sleepless night and some curdled sick.

will try to catch up and post later - hope all is well with people
x

congratulations wg, lol at your b'day present from dd!

Thanks ladyt & jump for dh advice. We didn't have these problems 1st time around so its all new. Am definitely going to get that book you suggested jump. But we have talked now & dh has agreed we can get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week which will help a lot.

Just a quick one. I'm usually very anal about checking my bank account online - almost every day. Sod's law - I haven't checked it for a week. I did so this morning and about £4,000 has been taken fraudulently.

The bank are investigating but it's unclear how much (if any) of this I will get back. They are going to phone me back - possibly today, but can't guarantee it. I feel sick.

Congratulations WG Loving your birthday present from DD here too.

Verso That is terrible. I hope you manage to get it all back. I am very anal about my account too and check everyday.

verso soeey this happened to you but you should get all of it back. Its happened to dh & to friends & we could claim everything back.

that is awful verso. they must refund you. maybe i should check our accounts more regularly.

this is the 3rd day since having dd that i have ended up being stuck at home all day waiting for the community midwife. they never give an indication of the time they will visit. it is sooooooooo annoying. hope they discharge me today.

Arti Its really bad isn't it. I spent all of DS2's first week sat at home waiting for MWs to turn up.

I just can't believe I haven't checked it for six days. I usually do it EVERY day, without fail. But because of Christmas and being up all night every night with DD2 I let it go . I really hope I get it all back. If I don't I will have to go back to work really soon .

You should get it all back. The banks have insurance for this sort of thing, well DH thinks they do.

verso - so on your behalf. not what you need. Really hope it gets sorted for you - [hugs]

well it's been a day of visits for me - CPN this morning...she's going to speak to the consultant about upping my happy-pill dose.
HV this afternoon - Phoebe has put on yet more weight so I think the growth spurt theory is right! The HV was lovely and is coming back next week. she did suggest formula top -ups for my hungry girl, on the basis that if i'm tired i'm more likely to struggle from a depression point of view, but we've agreed that i'll persevere with just bf for now. tbh a top-up would make her sick because she clearly gets enough at each feed, but i guess to replace a feed with a ff might make her go a bit longer - like kayz is doing. We'll see - think I'll give it a few more weeks yet and then decide.

off to friends for tea tonight - they have a 4yr old and 8 yr old who dd1 adores, and they really are the kindest couple you'd ever meet, but i don't really want to go...tea time is my worst time of day - dreg ends of dd1 and trepidation for the night ahead...really hope i don't cry in their company!

i've just taken our tree down and de-christmased the house! i'm not normally a scrooge, but with all baby stuff and new christmas pressies i needed to de-clutter and regain a little space and normality!

Hi y'all! Am just in the process of catching up - wow there are a lot of new babies! Haven't finished yet but just wanted to say I'll be back with updated list once I've managed to read everything (if no one else has done it of course).

Hope you're all well and can't wait to be on here again soon! Am finding it great reading for when BF...

Congratulations Bisou and Indith !!!

for you Verso and you too Arti

grrrrrrrrr. so i wait in all day for community midwife who finally turns up after 4pm to announce that:
(a) she has forgotten her scales so cannot weigh dd;
(b) she wants dd weighed so wants us to trek to a drop-in clinic at the hospital on wednesday;
(c) she is worried about dd's belly button so wants me to take her to the gp (it looks fine and i do not want to expose dd to flu virus in gp waiting room);
(d) she can't discharge me as she needs a blood pressure reading but has no bp monitor...

. now i have a gp appointment for me and dd2 tomorrow for belly button and bp when i am sure both are fine (and it is dh's b'day). then we have to go to hospital on weds for weight. then we will have to wait in for her again on thurs to be discharged.

Hi all, quick hello, as little one is asleep on my stomach, laptop behind it, haha!

congrats to bisou, indith and I think I forgot to say congrats to zoej earlier too!!

I ventured out of the house to the pub today most exciting!! First trip for the little monster!

Sorry to hear about everyone suffering with stresses and emotional upheavals. LadyT I also had an emotional moment last night, when DH was asleep with DS on top of him, and I just thought "What if he loves him more than me and leaves me and takes him with him?" which was totally ridiculous but I was tired!! He is sooo good with him and has been doing all the chainging/washing/cooking as I'm not that mobile yet, so obviously I had to turn this into something negative...duh.

waitinggirl your little one was born 15 mins before mine, same method...congratulations, funny to think that we were on here at the same time beforehand with the same "oh is that my waters going?" questions. I hope the birth was not too traumatic.

I have a question for everyone, DS will not sleep in his moses basket at all because since leaving hospital we have not been able to make him sleep on his back, he always wakes himself up and starts crying. So he keeps ending up sleeping with us in bed, so that we can get some sleep but this isn't a good long term solution. In the day he is mostly sleeping in a sling on DHs front!! he sleeps loads so is fine from that point of view. He is quite snotty and sneezy and so this is what seems to wake him up. We have tried swaddling him but that doesn't work either. DH tried putting him on his front in the moses basket and watching him, and that seemed fine and he stayed asleep so I don't think it's the being in the basket thing, just the on his back thing. Any ideas?? Maybe once his snottiness clears up it will sort itself out.

Oh and veggie you asked whether they figured out whether DS was geniuinely distressed at any point. I am not totally sure but they eventually figured out it was not the cord wrapped round him causing his HR to drop and they think it was pressure on his head. There was some argument about whether he was properly engaged or not. Apparently when he came out they showed DH a ring round his head which is where they thing that he was having pressure during contractions. I am going to ask the midwife tomorrow as I would like to know at least whether it is likely to be something that would repeat itself if I have another one!

Arti That is bloody awful!! I think MWs need to tell us when they are coming so we don't have to wait around all day.