December 2008 Once you pop you can't stop

[Veggiemummy]

surely most of us will go on this one

Verso I have been thinking of you actually as when I was changing ds2 yesterday it suddenly hit me that I am back to having a completely dependant human being again and am kind of wishing I could fast forward a couple of months. Also got the sore nips already did you say the silver things were helpful? Also for dh resentment I recommend giving that man a swift kick in the buttocks then turn him around and give him one in front, what is wrong with him I know he gets tired etc but you have had major surgery less than a month ago!

I did use the tens but found it almost a bit too effective and couldn't feel when the early contractions stopped. Then by the time they got more intense I preferred dh rubbing my lowe back.

LT you sound like you really need that trip to the Ivy sweetie and a couple of very expensive cocktails. I've had friends use support undies to help get their bellies back into shape not sure if it def works but would do for the night.

Verso thanks for your story, I have to admit the main reason I had a homebirth is because I am so scared of being a patient and having anything medical done to me. Not good for a nurse to feel like that I know. I find it strange when people say that homebirthers are brave because I am such a coward about having a baby in hospital.

1-handed typing from me so will try to be brief (I think probably only on mnet does this sound maternal rather than sleezy).

veggie/verso/kayz thanks for your stories. so lovely to read about all these different births.

ladyt spanx are brilliant. and you can get them sent special delivery from here. they are v difficult to get on and off and possibly least sexy pants ever but my god do they work.i had an interview last week (insane i know but it was to be trustee of a charity and i'm v keen to do it. had to take nancy and at one point sprayed jet of breast milk across the table when she came off mid feed - but another story) and wore 2 pairs so as not to frighten them with vast wobbliness. also AP sell a kind of corset thing for post-birth which is slightly more glam. apparently there's a whole school of thought saying it's v good idea to bind your stomach - helps muscles to get back in shape. so not only vain but also medicinal. hurrah.

am sorry you've been feeling rubbish - I know just what you mean when you say you'd like to be thought of. weirdly i thought it wouldn't be as difficult this time - but strangely is still the same - it's easy to feel like you've faded into background or lost sense of yourself other than in relation to baby. it does get easier as they get bigger. veggie am with you on the fast forwarding but then this will be my last baby so part of me wants to try to enjoy this bit too (she says through gritted teeth).

Best of luck to everyone for today.

err not that brief then. ladyt have you read 'then we came to the end'? not updike but distinctly american, lovely writing and not too gloomy

Hi All,

No baby action from me. Think after my show 12 days ago baby might actually be so comfy and not make an appearance until the new year....

Verso hope you DH is behaving now and doing his share and letting you rest.

Congratulations to Hicyy and Veggie {fgrin)

Arti how is the DH's hand? Unglued now?

ZJ good luck with you appointment today.

and good luck to abby Jolly Hotmama and GBB looks like a bumper baby harvest today

Just a quickie from me as off to take DD to music group. You will all be glad to hear that DH is no longer attached to any DIY implements and has full use of all 10 fingers.

Lovely story Veggie . Congratulations.

LadyT and all others with post-natal rolls and wobbles: have a look at this website. They are not comfy enough to be everyday wear (at least not for me but then I am rarely out of my trainers). However, for special occassions they are great. I got married shortly after having DD and I got one of these corsets for the early dress fittings. It was magic. Some people (Gwyneth Paltrow) swear that regularly wearing a corset after birth helps rebind the muscles. They do it in India alot.

Lovely birth stories.

I am hoping that someone on here can offer me some words of wisdom, or at least reassurance. For the last 3 nights DD has been feeding almost constantly throughout the night. She feeds for a bit and then is sick, feeds more, is sick etc, etc. Last night was truly ridiculous, midnight to 6.15am, so I got about 2 hours sleep. When I asked the MW about it yesterday she said that she is trying to stimulate my milk production by feeding in this way, and that breastfed babies shouldn't get wind, so showed me some better ways of holding her to feed, obviously this didn't work last night. It's almost as if she doesn't actually want the milk. Has anyone else had this with their LO's and any idea how long it will go on for? Or any tips for stopping this ridiculous cluster feeding so that I can actually get some sleep. Unfortunately having DS doesn't allow me much rest during the day, so there is no way I can go back to bed, and as of today I am working again, so need to be getting at least a half decent nights sleep. HELP!!!

Awww Katie, that sounds hard. DD was a bit like that except her cluster feed tended to last from 6pm to midnight which at least meant I got a nice spell of sleep from midnight onwards. Can you try and start her feeding marathon earlier?

I think this early on they really are just trying to tell your body how much they need and thats why people say not to introduce a dummy too early. However, a dummy could be worth a try - I have friends who introduced them early with no problems.

here is a link about cluster feeding from the Kellymom site. Reassuringly it says it is very normal and not an indication of supply problems.

I hope things get better soon.

Brilliant birth stories - thanks for sharing. Still don't think I would be brave enough to try a home birth esp at the thought of no G&A and as a total clean freak would worry about potential mess which I wouldn't be able to sort out straight away!

Good luck to all the CS ladies today - should have some more babies any time now?

Now 8 days over, but had at least 4 hours of strong BHs last night, every 10 mins or so. Not at all painful though so didn't bother to tell DH in case he panicked - good job because I somehow managed to fall asleep in the middle of secretly timing them and next time I woke up at about 2.30 everything had stopped. Think I had a show this morning tho, so hope there is finally something moving down there...? Really want to avoid being induced on Friday.

Katie you must be exhausted. I don't believe they don't get wind ds1 did and lastnight ds2 was unsettled he is trying bring on my milk so was feeding loads and I'm sure he was taking a big swollow of air each time I attached him because he was so desperate to get on. He did a few burps when I patted or rubbed his back afterwards.

Arti I'm pleased you dh no longer has a ladder as part of his body.

It makes sense that those undies help tummy muscles. They have all these sports shirts and things nowbthat apply pressure on muscle when exercising to give resistense to them and buff those boys up a bit.

LadyT LOL Just had a look at those girdles on the site you linked - can only imagine (in my still pregnant state) that even if the belly was held together I would still have big bulges of flab oozing out at the thighs and would just look more like a Michelin man than ever - those models have clearly not just given birth

Orange you can have gas & air at home. My mw 4 bottles that she left at my house a week before so I could use it before she got there if I needed to. I'm not sure why Kayz didn't have so much they may have had a low supply where she was. MW also gave me some for post birth lady garden check I had some membrane she had to remove so I had lovely chill out period about an hour after the birth. DH had some too, which nice for him.

Veggie but the thought of running out at the vital minute . At the hosp I'm booked in to, it comes straight out of the wall - can only imagine a huge vat of it stored somewhere with all these ladies sucking off it from their own rooms like something out of charlie and the chocolate factory.

Maybe I should have looked into getting one of those installed in the house. I remember at one stage during transition in a break between contractions DS got up to make a cup of tea and asked if I wanted one I had had a nice suck on the g&a and could not speak so o kind of waved my answer at dh looked a bit confused so mw said I think that's a no. I love that stuff. I think she let me use is during the exam because she knows how much I
Love it. DS was holding her examination torch on my bits but he was looking at me whispering 'give me some' but I was looking up at him through a haze thinking no way this is mine. In let him have some in the end. Enjoy your vat of it for me Orange.

Veggie ? what a lovely birth story, it sounds so calm and relaxed and a lovely atmosphere for DS2 to arrive into. Well done you

And verso ? thanks for your story too. I still can?t believe how quick and efficient CS?s are. I?m a bit (ok, a lot) of a wimp about surgery, but reading about all these CS?s is reassuring me that they all result in a swift delivery of a healthy baby, so stories from you and others are making me feel more confident if I end up with a CS. Very sorry that your DH isn?t being supportive, making a baby takes two, so I?m sorry that you?re feeling so responsible right now (hugs)

LadyT ? I love spanx, but you have to get the really unattractive ones that go from your bra to half way down your thighs to avoid just displacing the flesh. I don?t know if they actually squeeze you smaller, or make you stand taller, or both, but I think they make a visible difference and I feel much sleeker in them. But beware ? they take an age to get on and off, so you?ll need to plan toilet trips carefully. And they are seriously unattractive, so I always dress and undress in a locked room, as I am sure DH would demand an instant divorce if he actually saw me in them!

Yay for Arti?s DH freedom again!

And LOL at Orange?s vision of the Charlie and Chocolate Factory style G&A ? I too will imagine that now as I love the image (do you think they could add a second pipe, next to the G&A one, that?s allows you a suck of hot chocolate between contractions?)

Well, I?m sitting waiting for the oven repair man to arrive ? who should be here anytime before 4. And my appointment for the growth check is at 4, so I bet he arrives at 3.30 and leaves me in a right flap. How long should I be patient before I start ringing and demanding to know where I am on his list?

Have a good afternoon everyone xx

VG - sounds like such a lovely birth - hurah.

congrats to all the other new arrivals, too.

LT - spanx are wonderful, but from my experience incredibly hard to get on and not sure if i'd want to do all that pushing and pulling over a newish scar - good luck. and lots of love for your feelings re: DH - you really have had so much to cope with, and having a baby does remind you of your own and others mortality, doesn't it?

kimberley - had a dream last night that you and i were mnetting and you started going into labour - is this a premonition, or are you still there waiting? isn't it sad i dream about MN?

so now at 39 weeks i am OFFICIALLY on maternity leave - just have to get my tax done (oh, the joys of being self-employed and not earning enough to justify getting someone else to do it for me) before the baby is allowed to come.

for a while now i've been saying "i'm not ready, i'm not ready" because everyone assumes i desperately want sproglet out. i don't to be honest. would be quite happy for it to stay inside for another couple of months/weeks. am feeling fine. i kept saying "i'm not ready, the shelves aren't up in the baby room" which was true. a friend then commented that it wasn't really the shelves, was it? and now i've realised what it is - i just haven't rationalised the fact that i am having a baby and my mum isn't here with me. i'm an only child, and so my main source of female support (pace wonderful friends) would have been my mum and she just isn't here and i miss her so much. and she would have loved it and yet also freely admitted that she didn't know what she was doing (unlike MIL who seems to know better/different on every aspect). mum was pregnant with me around christmas as well, and away from her family (she was german), so she must have been going through similar things to me, and i would have loved to have asked her about. i think i'm beginning to think about it and her now and preparing myself for it all. my dad has a lovely new ladyfriend and they took us out for dinner last week - the next day she rang up to say how sorry she was that she had to be with us and that it couldn't have been my mum. i think that has really set me off - i mean, how lovely a thing was that to say? so i told her that if i couldn't have mum, she was a perfect second best. and it all puts dh's mother's attitude into sharp contrast - when dh mentioned to his mum that i didn't want to use perfumed products for the first month or so, her reply was "well, you were brought up on estee lauder and it didn't do you any harm". added to which she smokes (despite a recovery from life threatening kidney cancer 5 years ago) and doesn't realise quite how much i don't want our sproglet to be around any smoke at all (mum practically gave birth to me while smoking and certainly breastfed while smoking - didn't everyone in those days?)

oh, whinge whinge whinge.

good luck all those having their own sproglets today!

Aw, heckorama, just typed a mammoth message and lost it. Will try to remember it. Hmm...

Veggie, what a fab birth story. It's deffo another section for me if I am lucky enough to have another baby, but you make a homebirth sound so lovely even to a lost cause like me Verso, I also greatly enjoyed hearing about another section. Sorry your injections hurt, I was pleasantly surprised with mine but I guess it's probably luck of the draw. Also, I was distracted by DP stroking my hair so nervously he was nearly rubbing a hole in my head. Sorry you are feeling resentful of your DH - no practical advice here, just sympathy. I do quite see how it's problematic with his health issues...But things will be better by the spring. That may sound lame but it will be here in a flash.

Lal, thanks for the heads up on Spanx! I will be getting some, and an AP corset, AND one of Arti's Brazilian contraptions! My dress for the IVy only cost about twelve quid from Primark so I reckon I can splash out a bit on some medicinal scaffolding (not that Agent Provocateur is very medicinal ) My Mum always said to me that "Beauty has its pinch" - well, it might not be a suitable motto for a tiny girl, but it will come into its own now...literally

Hmm, I suppose that the cheapness of my dress means that it was machine stitched by infants with bleeding digits (gloomy emoticon)

Mibbes, I know what you mean about things cutting into the scar - it's right where the underbump seam is, isn't it? I bought some poncy jogging bottoms so I could wear them out of doors, but yesterday was my first day in trousers. Can't really do skirts and anything other than long dresses yet as my ankles are still a bit swollen. However, I have noticed that if I really suck in my abdomen as hard as I can it looks ok. So I am thinking that said corsets, muscle toning exercises and a strict diet later on (I put on about 3 stones and the overhang seems like flab) - it might really help (valiantly hopes that it won't just be empty skin left after this). I know this is all v shallow but frankly a bit of shallowness always perks me up. I came late to the idea of motherhood, let alone motherhood, and as scrumptious and fabulous as my LO is, it messes with one's identity a bit. Well, it has with mine. That doesn't mean I don't adore her or regret it one iota - DP laughs at how much i kiss her - but I am going to let myself feel things, even negative things. I don't agree with suppressing feelings, it leads to trouble. Just so long as you round off with a large measure of blessings counting. This combo has kept the lid on my head through many a dark time, anyway.

Katie, I'm not sure but I don't think the MW should have said that bf don't get wind. I am a bf dunce as you know but that's not what it says in my book. I am sorry you are getting so little sleep, that sounds SO tough. Try to look after yourself if you can. Really hope one of the bf queens can come up with some practical tips for you.

Lal, but now I want to hear about the milk squirting incident. Wow. How did the interview go? Hope you got it. Thanks so much for the book recommendation too! (hares off to Amazon)

ZJ, I will definitely get the long Spanx. What a shame they don't do ones which go from head to ankle. WG, I will shoehorn myself into them somehow, new scar or no. So sorry you are missing your Mum, that must be really rough. Imagine how proud of you she would be, though. And how nice your Dad's new ladyfriend sounds. I think that's uncommonly sensitive of her to ring you up like that. Have a good day and I haven't forgotten about the parcel.

WG your dads girlfriend sounds so lovely. That's quite a special thing to say.

LadyT many natural birth advocates would probably not be happy to hear me say this but as proud as I am of both my birth experiences and as much as I loved them in hindsight, there was a point in both of them where I could quite happily have layed down and let someone take them out of me ( in fact in think I asked the midwives to do just that during ds1's birth) there comes a point during the birth when I think why the hell am I doing this they all come out the same however you birth them.

2nd and subsequent mums how long do these after pains last?Blummin heck they hurt a bit. I want my gas and air back. Also I can't remember how long my belly will stay like this. I still look about 6 months pregnant. DS1 keeps asking when the next baby is coming.

Oh and my top tip for sore nipples, Sainsburys taste the difference all butter quadruple Belgian chocolate cookies, take 2 each time they are feeding, it makes it better.

Veggie, don't know if it is the same but my tummy didn't look much flatter for about afortnight! But now it's heaps flatter, apart from the dreaded bottom bit!

ANyone got any top tips for getting the smell of washing up liquid out of bottles/teats? [1950s housewife emoticon] However much I douse them with hot water it doesn't seem to shift and it worries me, the smell is strong. Same if I put them in the dishwasher. I hate plastic bottles as well. I use the Ecover washing up stuff but it still stinks. Ooh, must go, the Kraken awakes...

Afterpains lasted about 8 days with me and are definitely stronger second time round. I shamelessly tanked up on co-codamol before feeding as they are always worse during a big feed.

My tummy - sorry! - is almost back to normal - DD2 is three weeks tomorrow and I'm in non-maternity trousers today - but I was big (size 18) before I had DD2 and didn't put much weight on (I couldn't afford to!) so I haven't had far to go back down... I'm interested in these corsetty things though - wonder if healthy eating and long pram walks will help me get back to a size 14-16? Before DD1 I was a 14-16, and got back quite quickly to that size after her birth - but then ended up on antidepressants which made me BALLOON (even though my GP promised they wouldn't ) and have been an 18 for the past two years or so.

LadyT I think conversations like this are good for the soul... I might go online window shopping in a bit...

P.S. Health visitor was remarkably pragmatic and nice and sensible (mirabile dictu) and said she wouldn't weigh DD2 today because it's too soon after her last weighing and might make me worry unnecessarily! She is coming round again next Monday though and will weigh her then. Given the amount DD2 has been feeding (and pooing) today I don't think I have much to worry about...

Off to the hospital tomorrow for a "prolonged jaundice" follow-up. I hope it's good news.

I agree with being truthful about how you feel about everything good or bad after you have kids. My
Mum never was I think she felt as a mother you should suppress your emotions but kids pick up on them and as a result I have never felt close to my mum because she never shows her true self to me. I want my boys to know me warts and all. And I will quite happily express that I want to be the women I was before they were born.

Poor DS1 is sick he has a cough and a temp. He is laying on the couch next to me while I have half naked ds2 on my chest asleep. DS1 keeps telling me he loves me a rubbing my belly I think he actually finds it's squishiness comforting at the moment so am grateful for it still being there.

WG That's funny you dreamt about me going into labour! Maybe it is a premonition! But sadly nothing happening here at the moment. My bump has dropped quite a bit and I've had loads of BH... but nothing else beyond that. DH and I did almost have a panic attack on the train yesterday though! We went to get off train and I realized my trousers were wet. Apparently I sat in something wet on the train... but for a second we both thought my waters had gone and I didn't realize it! haha! Made for a moment of panic and excitement!!

I don't know about you other ladies, but I have been cleaning like a mad woman today. Maybe it's because the family starts arriving in a few days. I have been cleaning EVERYTHING! Scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom and am about to move on to sweeping and mopping. Maybe it's a sign of things to come hmm

ladyt and all the other ladies with belly woes. Don't be so hard on yourselves. I know we all want our pre prego bodies back ASAP. But it took 9 months for you to grow a precious baby. So it only makes sense that things may not snap right back into place for a little while . Many hugs to all of you!! Personally I think you are all beautiful! Oh... and super heroes!

Hello.

I can't remember who was saying about the G&A but I had 5 bottles of it. They had to send for another 2 because 1 had been put in the car half empty and the pipe was broken so it was leaking. The living room got more than I did!!

BF is going a bit better. DS2 didn't sleep at all last night really. He slept from 11 until 1 and then was up until 6 with a few half an hour naps. MW came today and showed me a little trick to keep him sucking if he stops.

DS1 is being a little bit naughty. He keeps trying to hit DS2 and then runs off giggling. I'm hoping he will settle down soon and be better with him.

Does anyone know if you can do too much too soon?
I went out for a walk today as I've been bored the last couple of days. I feel like I have pulled a muscle in my side.