GFJ drinkers anonymous

[nelix2000]

hey all, hope you all find the thread! we can niggles and worries!

jools hon one other thing, when you feel up to it, the MC threads were a huge support to me. And of course we're always here if you need us (but understand if it's too hard) - keep us posted tho' won't u xxx

Thanks guys.

All confirmed - cervix wide open and nothing much left. I have to go back for a scan tomorrow to check for "retained products" and have another BP check, then its all over.

Today was very very scary - bleeding was so heavy and so fast, I was absolutely terrified.

Feel kind of OK at the moment but I'm sure shock and tears will kick in soon. The hardest thing was knowing I'd probably flushed Jools Jr away

I will certainly lurk on here and cheer you on from the sidelines - may even post occasionally.

Off to bed soon - DP is being lovely and looking after me well. I think this may have been a bit of a wake up call for him and may crystallise his real feelings as regards TTC and being a parent.

Oh well, lots of chocolate and WINE next week, together with smelly cheese and pate

Hi everyone - only just seen this thread as thought I would pop over from ttc to see how you are. My fault entirely for not copying over the BFPs - pure oversight I promise. Please come back and make encouraging noises and tell us how you are doing.

jools1 - left you message on other thread but just to say so sorry for your loss.
xx

Oh hon. Am so sorry. filfthy french cheese and a lot of booze is certainly called for. Hope everything is ok at the hospital tomorrow...I remember how scary the actual mc is. Just remember that this is real grief and you are allowed to deal with it however you need, and for however long you need.

Get as much rest as you can and glad to hear DP is looking after you.

Don't worry about flushing anything away...if you can, don't dwell on that and remember you did nothing to cause this.

Sorry, am probably waffling and not helping you so will shut up. Am thinking of you

Hey Yelloflowers - for one excited minute I thought you were joining us will pop over and say hi

hi sparky - not, not joining you yet alas. Delighted that heeby has though. I'm in my shagathon stage of the month.

Here is our thread on ttc board. thread

jools nothing i wanted to tell you how sorry i am, we have been there like sparky says and it is so frightening and upsetting.

Take strength in all you can and rest up honey xx

hi yellow hope you can come join us properly in 2 weeks eh!

jools my thoughts are with you at this time, I am so sorry for your loss. It must all seem like a bad dream right now. Glad your DP is there and doing what he can x

Hey yellow long time no speak! will pop over and say hi, off to the gym for now joy!

Thanks everyone.

I'm posting in the miscarriage forum but can't quite let go, so still keeping coming in here to catch up on everyone. We've been through a lot together now and I can't just walk way

Had bad pain and more extreme blood loss last night, so had to phone EPU for advice - thankfully they let me stay at home but just told me what painkillers I could take - I was stupidly avoiding anything but paracetamol just in case ...

Was scanned this morning - mw who did it was lovely. HCG levels barely present and only one teeny bit of lining left to go, so hopefully I'm over the worst and move on. DP won't let me do anything but lounge on the sofa today - probably right as I still get quite dizzy when I get up. Am now on my second snickers bar of the day

Just trying to decide what to tell work and how long to get myself signed off for..

Hope all is well with you all.

Hi Jools,

You poor bunny, i keep thinking about you and have such strong emotions about your story, i feel like you are our friend and i really have sympathy for your loss, and also it hightens my fears for my own pregnancy, somehow when it happens to someone you 'know' it makes it all the more real. If that makes sense.

I am so glad you are being cared for, it must be so frightening for you and i hope that as each days passes you can get stronger and stronger from the love and support around you.

As for the chocky ..... go for it girl!

I guess work didn't know? what do you think you will tell them? you need to take the time out emotionally and physically.

Hi - work didn't know as I was waiting till after the scan to tell everyone

Spoke to my GP today - she was lovely - she wants me to wait till Monday and phone her - if I want more time, she will sign me off. She also said that, although they recomend waiting for AF to come back, it isn't essential - food for thought that one.

Mood is all over the place now - crying one minute, laughing hysterically the next !

hey Jools, I am glad your GP is lovely, its great when you get an understanding one!....you soundlike you are holding together far better than I ever could! hows DP coping? x

DP has been fantastic - more supportive and emotional than I've ever seen him and, if there is a silver lining in this, it is that we are now closer together and communicating better. He was always a bit scared of fatherhood but getting used to the idea - says he's not really sure what he feels right now - goes from one extreme to the other.

Today is not going to be a good day though He has epilepsy and I think the stress has now caught up with him and I think a seizure is imminent - the last thing I feel up to coping with at the moment Am feeling sick just at the thought - goes nicely with the cramping

how you doing hon? was dp ok?(sorry, can only type with one hand, have wriggly toddler in other)

don't rush to go back to work will you? wait until you know you can get through a day - i had almost 2 weeks off from start to finish and i think it helped...

Hi Sparky he was OK yesterday but there are warning signs there today, so I wish he'd slow down / spend the day in bed

Went out briefly last night for the first time - felt a bit odd but I managed it, then met a friend for lunch today. I know I'd be prewarned about the mood swings and the tears but they have really kicked in today and I had to come home early as I just couldnt stop crying So, I'm back on the sofa again with Ben and Jerry's and a few DVD's

oooh ben and jerrys jools sounds delightful! how is everything? Its good to be getting back to "normal" whatever that is, but taking time to greive is good too. Tears are all part of it, and will hit at the most inconvenient times. I really wish there was something magical I could say to help you are probably fed up hearing this all x

Hi,

jools how are you doing honey? Not sure if you are looking in on the thread but if you are i am sending lots of love

How is everyone else?

xx

Hiya

still lurking I'm struggling with the other a/n threads when hearing about other people going to good 12 week scans, but it feels ok in here so I shall lurk some more

Am staying off till thurs and will then work from home for 2 days I think.

Lots of ups and downs - uncontrollable sobbing, then laughing my head off . Abdomen doesn't hurt so much now and bleeding has virtually stopped I think, so time to move off the sofa, cut back the chocolate and get back into the real world I think. I am meeting a work colleague for lunch - the only person at work who knows what has happened. Today will be my first real venture out for a week, as I've been too tired / anaemic / dizzy / depressed to face the world before. Am expecting some tears this afternoon (it all started at 1.30 last Tuesday) but am looking forward to getting back to TTC - would far rather be pg than have a drink at Christmas.

How are you all doing ? I still love to hear what is happening, so don't worry about talking about first kicks etc - I wanna be a cyber-auntie and I will need to know what to expect when I get my next BFP

Thanks for the support - I'd be lost without MN

jools soooo good to hear you being positive, it has to be half the battle huh. I hope the lunch went well and the 1.30pm wasn't too painful.

I am feeling very blue today, no reason for it, i feel really sick and tired (in the actual sense not in a fed up sense!) which doesn't help when the work whip is being cracked.

I have made an appointment to see Dr on Friday to book in officially and will ask about an early scan.

xxx

Hey everyone, How you doin now jools? How did lunch go? If you ask me you are doing so well!

Well I have had a constant headache for weeks, its growing a bit tiresome lol!...but I swear I have felt the odd tiny flutter here and there. I may be imagining it, or its most likely wind as I am only 13 weeks. But maybe you feel them early with the 2nd? I swear I felt it with DS too but ppl said I was silly it was way to early, so maybe I should just dismiss it. They booked all my next 3 appointments when i went to the MW last week so have date of 8th jan for anomily scan, kind of excited/nervous. I am waiting for bad things to happen. Mumsnet has been such a blessing to me, but also made me realsie how common miscarriages etc are, I cannot even imagine. So jools you are a source of strength for me that people can and do get through it should the worst happen, and thankyou for sharing your experience with me/us, it must still seem so raw to you, yet you share with us. It makes me feel that I really hope we give you a little something back to

Morning all

Nelix - you are making me blush

It wasn't such a good day yesterday. I've been warned to expect ups and downs, so have resolved to just wallow when I get the bad days at least for this week, in the hope I can get them out of my system.

The lunch was OK yesterday - well quite nice actually but then I wandered all round town looking for "something" to remember beanie by, as I couldn't get hold of the pudsey bear I wanted. This took ages and was quite sad - I felt a bit obsessive and odd, almost as if I was torturing myself by going into the ELC etc Couldn't find what I wanted, so visited the cathedral (a rare event for me) and lit a candle for Jools Jr - cue more floods of tears but I did find what I wanted on the way home - a grey floppy bunny that is my pressie to the baby and something to cuddle when things get too much.

I spent the evening wondering if I really could bear to go through 12 weeks of over-analysing every twinge and worrying about every smear of blood Not knowing when the baby died means I don't have a milestone to psychologically move past (apart from 11+4 when my world fell apart) I had NO bleeding apart from the teeniest of brown smears when I was around 7 weeks, so anything will worry me - am I strong enough ? I think I have to be, as it just feels like there is nothing in my future at the moment and nothing to work for / look forward to unless I try again.

Was trying to be positive today - got up when DP did and wanted to achieve stuff, but am still sat on the sofa in my dressing gown

must go and DO something useful !!

Morning all

Nelix - you are making me blush

It wasn't such a good day yesterday. I've been warned to expect ups and downs, so have resolved to just wallow when I get the bad days at least for this week, in the hope I can get them out of my system.

The lunch was OK yesterday - well quite nice actually but then I wandered all round town looking for "something" to remember beanie by, as I couldn't get hold of the pudsey bear I wanted. This took ages and was quite sad - I felt a bit obsessive and odd, almost as if I was torturing myself by going into the ELC etc Couldn't find what I wanted, so visited the cathedral (a rare event for me) and lit a candle for Jools Jr - cue more floods of tears but I did find what I wanted on the way home - a grey floppy bunny that is my pressie to the baby and something to cuddle when things get too much.

I spent the evening wondering if I really could bear to go through 12 weeks of over-analysing every twinge and worrying about every smear of blood Not knowing when the baby died means I don't have a milestone to psychologically move past (apart from 11+4 when my world fell apart) I had NO bleeding apart from the teeniest of brown smears when I was around 7 weeks, so anything will worry me - am I strong enough ? I think I have to be, as it just feels like there is nothing in my future at the moment and nothing to work for / look forward to unless I try again.

Was trying to be positive today - got up when DP did and wanted to achieve stuff, but am still sat on the sofa in my dressing gown

must go and DO something useful !!

Heyjools, in your dressing gown at 940am is nothing toover! most days I am in pjs till after lunch and only get dressed IF i have to go out
Having something to hold and remember is a really really good idea, you have lost something precious and your greif is real, there is no time limit on how long you need/want to take over this, please dont feel the need to give yourself a time scale
You will try again when you are ready and will no doubt worry the whole pregnancy, its totally normal. You will be closely monitered though with the next one wont you?early scans etc?
It must feel like there is little to work towards, but when you do try again and make it through pregnancy and see your baby, you will know that all you are going through now happened for a reason and you will be holding that reason. You will tell them one day of why you hug this grey floppy bunny and what it means to you. Losing a baby at any stage is a real loss[hug]. And by greiving this loss you are doing something useful, you are gaining strenght to try again....take your time sorry if my opinions/advice seem strong or wrong x

Evening all. Sorry not been on much, have a horrible cold so have been moping around a bit.

Jools - [warning waffly post coming up so ignore my advice/comments at will!] don't worry about the next time. There's some horrible stat that 75% of women have a mc of some description (many won't know about it) and the next time is without doubt scary....I didn't tell anyone, or even get excited , until I'd my nuchal scan this time...BUT the chances of it happening again are slim - fewer than 1% of women have recurrent m/cs. I keep thinking (the worry doesn't really go away) - if one if 3 pregnancies ends in mc, and this is my 3rd preg, then I shouldn't lose this one - I've already fulfilled the stats. I however am mad as snakes and small details like that keep me going

When you get your BFP (and you will - I seem to recall you get knocked up pretty quick too!) come and join us on the knicker checkers thread over in PG - everyone there has had at least one mc and is a great place to share all your worries.

BTW - think the idea of a toy to remember beanie by is a lovely idea. I never did it and I wish I had. in the meantime, please stay and hang out with us and be a cyber auntie (and tell us to shut up if you need to.)

Nelix - My scan is 8th of Jan too - the same day each time!! How's the headache?

Heeebbbbbyyy whhhherrreeee arrreee yooooouuuu? (everything ok hon?)

PS - Heeby and Jools - seems like you don't automatically get an early scan the next time after m/c. I wept when I went to see to my GP so that got me mine

PPS - Jools Heeby will remember me banging on about this in the summer but I saw a reflexologist after my mc and it really helped get my cycle back in order quickly...and I got to lie down in a dark room and relax once a week.....try and make sure you pamper yourself if you can so you can try and relax about TTC (I know...easier said than done).

right am off to have a coughing fit Night night xx

Well, tonight was a night to get very very drunk Will deal with real life in the morning, but I wouldn't have got this far without my online friends - you have a lot to answer for