Due Dec 2007 - finding out the flavours

[mixedmama]

Hey all... over here!!

That's the stuff I'm after, thank you! Don't really like the idea of perineal massage - just sounds like stretching out your lady bits. (I realise that's going to happen anyway but I have no desire to have a bucket fanny before I've given birth!)

Tried again to go shopping last night but I just get through the doors of Mothercare and freak out. Mind you, I went to Mamas and Papas before hand, talk about intimidating!! The people were nice tho. I pick up a couple of things, then put them back again wondering whether I really need them, then just bolt! I think I'm going to have to take my mum.

mimcakey I tried perineal massge first time round - thought it sounded nice and relaxing - jesus christ was I wrong! it bl**dy kills - why would you put yourself through that twice?? plus as far as I know (read an article about it somewhere) there's no evidence to show that it reduces tearing during birth...

Thanks for the Indian/British names mixedmama - dp is actually Irish and was suggesting Dara so that could be a winner - irish and Indian all in one. Really like Maya but that is my niece's name and LOVE jaya - might suggest it to dp..

To make everyone feel better, I've put on more than a stone (not sure exactly how much but am over 10 and I was under 9) - but I know it's almost all if not all my bump because the rest of me just looks the same. Think a stone is absolutely fine

BTW can't believe all the people who don't look pg in the morning - i look huge all the time. I've had two or three strangers come up to me this week and ask me when I'm due and you wouldn't do that if you weren't completely and utterly SURE (or stupid?), would you?

Ahhh my first love was a Dara! I'd forgotten that name till now, he was the most gorgeous boy ever! His brother was called....Blair

Well Mixedmama, I think that's utterly appaling the way you've been treated. I've felt a bit neglected too with my midwife's off-handedness but we've finally bonded as I had to have the test for slapped-cheek virus 2 weeks ago. She actually was very nice about it instead of making me feel like a sheep in a line....

Scan tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I know I keep saying it, just so excited about it. I'll be gutted if they can't tell us if it a girl or boy, though trying to be phylisophical (sp?) about it.....

lizzer - my scan's tomorrow too! we also want to find out the sex so crossed fingers that both our babies are in the right position (facing forwards and legs akimbo )

mixedmama - forgot to say before - absolutely appalling the way your mw treated you, esp ignoring you dh . Reminded me that my mw was also ridiculous about asking me my ethnic origin 'and now I need to ask you that erm you know awkward question' with her pen hovering over the chinese box, as if it was all really embarassing because I wasn't default white. She even got dp's wrong, ticked white Eurpean instead of white Irish - I said oops no he's Irish actually, and she said, yes this is the right box, when I could see the irish white box staring out at me . Incompetent fool

makes such a difference when you have a lovely mw - mine was absolutely brilliant last time round, where is she now?

Hello! It's lovely and roomy on here

Very interesting looking through everyone's choices for names, there's some really lovely ones coming up. We're struggling for a boy's name and i'm hoping i'll just have an ephiphany like i did with ds, and happen across a name i feel at home with. It's not happened so far...

We have our scan on Tuesday and will be finding out the sex, but i'll be along again like i was for the 12 week . There's absolutely no possibility of dh coming back for it unless he literally walked off the self employed job he's doing and that's obviously out. Anyhow, we'll probably be going for a 4D one once he's home in September, so that's something else to look forward to.

Was it Caz who was saying earlier that you'd not felt the baby moving recently? Have you felt movement lately? I had an enormous kick last Friday night which i mentioned on a previous post - it was such a hefty boot it made me burst into tears of (mainly) shock, but i've hardly felt a thing since until the early hours of this morning when the tapping and shifting started again, thank goodness. I was just mulling over ringing the midwives so i'm feeling very relieved.

Just had my best friend round with her children so i missed the opportunity to rest while ds had his nap and now i'm knackered! Was reading my new Barbara Kingsolver book until midnight then woke at 5.15 and felt wideawake so i just got up . Am feeling distinctly the worse for wear for it now though...

Good luck everyone with their scans.

Mixedmama, awful Midwife - I'd have been annoyed too.

Actually, how often are you supposed to see a midwife? I've only seen mine once in May and don't have another appointment until the end of August. Is this normal?

Am under the weather today. Think I'm starting a cold which is really annoying as I'm going on holiday tomorrow with my mum and DH. Last time I saw her I had a bad cold too. She must think I'm constantly sneezing.

oh dear you poor thing peanut - not sleeping enough really kills you when your pg, doesn't it? What a shame you dh won't be at the scan but you can have great fun telling him if it's a boy or a girl

by the way, what does everyone think about co-sleeping? Just read an article that says the link between SIDS and co-sleeping is completely unfounded (as long as you're not drunk, on drugs etc). We co-slept with dd quite a lot and intend to co-sleep with this one too (makes bf-ing easier) but feel as if I should keep quiet about it as people will disapprove? Am I being paranoid? It's so wierd that so so many cultures do it as the absolute norm but here it is sort of frowned upon..

We've been thinking about it too - sounds easier than wandering to and fro in the middle of the night. i do wonder how easy it is to stop it though. how did you find it skidaddle?

I didnt routinely co-sleep as I cant sleep properky, and then I will be a nightmare next day. However, if DS wakes up in the night I do bring him to bed and alot of the time I take him to bed with me and DH puts him in his cot when he comes to bed. Got to stop this soon though as othewise I will be taking two children to bed ith me.

Do any of you guys find the ethnic origin question awkward, why do they always feel nervous about it??? I think it is a perfectly fine question and never really have a problem altho I can see why sometimes it is unecessary but with hosptals and stuff isnt it linked to certain illnesses that are more likely to effect certain people.

dundee - I thought we would be sharing our bed with dd forever, and did worry about it, but since she moved into her own bed, she seems much happier there and barely ever comes into ours now. The only time she does is if she wakes up early and I bring her in for a cuddle, and she might doze a while longer. But I love that and long may it continue - soon she'll be pushing me away when I try to kiss her, and then she'll be telling me she hates me and stomping up the stairs so I intend to make the most of it while I can!! We have friends who co-slept with their son until he was three and they all loved it!

mixedmama - I have no problem with the question, it's just the way that it's asked sometimes (e.g. "what are you?"). I always fill it in on forms, I don't have a 'it's none of your business, why should I tell you' attitude that I know some non-white people have

Hello all

Re sleeping, I've heard such different things from different people! One girl told me last week that she moved DD into the nursery on 2nd night home and they've had no problems at all! (she does not BF though, would there be less night feeds then?)

I had thought about one of these cots you can adjust so it is in line with your bed and drop down one side, so it is right up against your bed, if you know what I mean! Has anyone used those before?

Peanutbutter twas me with the silent baby! MW was lovely and reassuring, she found the hb and told me that he/she had probably just turned to face the inside. Of course, since then he/she has been jumping about like a loony, I could even see my skin jumping the other night!! I have my 20wk scan next week, and I just couldn't cope having the sonographer who I'd never met before telling me it had all gone wrong, I'd rather have heard it from the MW if I have to hear it from anyone!

Names names names they are tricky! I LOVE Ava mixedmamma, I'll need to look up and see what it means. Isla is quite popular here but I am Scottish so maybe it is less so down south?

Also how awful re your midwife!!! Ours have been so nice to DH, really made him feel included.

Glad everyone is doing well!!

Just reading all todays threads... mixedmama you really should complain about that midwife! If you don't, then she won't improve and some poor young woman might get horrid treatment. Of course up to you, but i think she sounds like an old bag. She shouldn't do a 'caring' job if she can't show care. Your poor husband, as if men don't feel marginalised enough in the whole reproduction process...

Thank you again to Suey2. honestly I sit at my desk and go to cross my legs and then stop. I leave work and think right, suck stomach in YOU MUST SUCK IT IN THE WHOLE WAY HOME (about 25 mins) and i keep having to remind myself to have shoulders back etc. I must look like bit of a nutter walking through the park!

I keep forgetting to do Pelvics, but i am doing that thing where you stop and start when you're spending a penny (!) which is about 25 times a day at the moment.

Sending you some ANTI-SICK HUGS macdoodle that is really rotten. Can you plan to buy yourself something gorgeous and unneccsary for when the sickness has passed?! As a reward. It's a tough job growing a new human!

I went to midwife today and practically terrorised the poor woman with a list of questions. I was nice about it really, but she did blink a lot and prob was thinking jeez she isn't having it for another 5 months. Anyway, i feel much better, I asked exactly what would happen from when i turn up and am all dilated, where the labour place is, how long can i spend in there (3-4 hours if i wish), who will look after the baby when i need to shower, how secure the tags are on the babies!!! (this one is v important to me), i also asked who exactly will be there when i'm in labour and it all sounded very private. I said i knwo all women go through it, but it will do my head in to have 3 or 4 different strange people possibly put their hands up my ladybits etc etc. Made her laugh, but in a nice way.

Oh yeah and if there are private rooms available - women who have had v difficult labours get first dibs - and there are for about £48. So going to put that aside soon.

Honestly ladies, i dont' want to show off but down my way Bournemouth and Poole, it seems the services are good. I saying this to address the balance of things i have read on other threads about awful services.

So you all need to move to Dorset to have your babies. We also have great beaches.....!

I've rambled, sorry

Caz10 - I'm not from the breastfeeding gestapo, but just to let you know bottlefeeding doesn't necessarily mean they will sleep longer (when I stopped BF my first I hoped this might be the case but it wasn't!!)

Not tried one of those bedside cots but they seemed quite pricey from memory. Last time I had a Moses basket on a stand next to my side of the bed - was in the way of the wardrobe but obviously it was only there at nighttime so was easy to move in the day. I had a carrycot first time round (early 90's great heavy thing) and it was a pain as I had a C-section, so had to make sure that D(then)H carried it downstairs before he went to work. Moses baskets are much lighter. Saying that, I sold mine a few months ago so will use the old carrycot again as a bed for the first couple of months.

Neuro - know what you mean about forgetting the pelvics - hanging out washing is when I try to remember, someone once said to get into the habit of doing it whenever you're making a cuppa. I think I read that you're not supposed to try to stop peeing, apart from occasionally to check you are using the right muscles - something about potentially leading to wee infections? Suey might know more! Or one of the medical types on here? (I sometimes get mixed between Dec and Jan threads as to who is on where!)

well as far as i'm concerned Suey2 is our physical health goddess!
But it does say in my book written by a top obstertrician that it is a good thing to do along with other pelvics.

but i keep forgetting!!!

Hi everyone, found you guys at last!

Not been on for ages as had family staying with us and we're off on hols on saturday so will be catching up with everyone's news the week after!

Some lovely names being mentioned, giving me some inspiration to pick up the baby names book again from the library. DD has a popular Scottish name and this time we would like an English name for this baby.

Co-sleeping, we did it on and off for the first 3 months but then I found myself not sleeping as well. DD went off it too and hasn't been asleep in our bed since she was very small... sometimes I'd love to be able to bring her in with us and for her to sleep but as soon as she's in our bed no matter what time of night or day she uses it as a trampoline!

Good luck for the upcoming scans, Skidaddle - will log on to find out what flavour bundle you are expecting tomorrow.

Does anyone know anything about blood? I had a blood test 10 days ago as I'd been feeling a bit light headed and not quite right, BP was fine, today they phone and say I have to repeat it in 6wks as my thyroid was abnormal. I know it can't be too worrying if they have just said to repeat in 6wks but curious to know if anyone had any similar experience?

I found a book at Borders over the weekend that classified names into categories like "old fashioned romantic" (that's me!), "biblical", "flowers", "1960s" etc etc. I found it was really helpful to me as I could look up names I knew I liked and it would give me other names I was likely to also like. Amazingly enough Isabel (my DD), Amelia, Abigail and Eva are all listed under the same category!! Its not hard and fast so some names are in more than one category. I'll try and find it again today at lunchtime and put the title on here. I found it much more useful than the usual names "dictionaries" that proliferate.

And I can confirm that FF babies do not need less night feeds! But given that you have to get up anyway to get the bottle its not really any great hassle to feed while up too and avoid disturbing your bedmate! (advantage is that bedmate can take turns at this - e.g. at weekend). I did bring DD into bed with me for 6am feed tho and we often used to doze off again for another hour or so, very nice.

OK the book is called "The Baby Name Wizard" by Laura Wattenberg if anyone's interested!

Caz10 - we forked out for one of those bedside drop down cots (think that's what they're called) and I wouldn't recommend them. it doesn't feel at all like they're in your bed and most cots have sides that go down halfway to save your back when you're picking the baby up, so I see no advantage personally. But that's not to say they won;t work for you.

Have my scan in a couple of hours - I never even considered the possibiity that there might be somethig wrong until today - just thought about whether it was a boy or a girl.. last minute nerves i'm sure, all will be fine

let us know skiddle how it goes...

Neuro, please don't do it when peeing- you can cause a bladder infection. After you've weed would be ok if you need a reminder

Not been able to get on - DH broke our pooter at home and been super busy at work. Hoping to catch up today.

hey skidaddle, i think you should just do what is right for you re the co-sleeping. I veer towards definitely not, primarily because DH will be v grumpy without sleep, i would be terrified about rolling over onto DC, think it may be tricky to get them to adapt to their own room and i want a sex life back at some stage.
But everyone's different

Thank you all for feedback re cots, and GOOD LUCK skidaddle, all will be well! It is scary though, mine is on Monday and I am already getting nervous about it.

buzzybee that book sounds great, I have a dictionary one and am still not past C, it is heavy going and not very inspiring. Think I'll try and find yours!

Actually the more I think about the sleeping arrangments the more confused I get! We had been concentrating all our energies on the great pram hunt, and haven't really given beds much thought, but I suppose they should really come first! I read that little babies might not settle in a cot at first is that true? We have a really small house so I'm not all that keen on having the pram parked in the living room for daytime sleeps, is that when a Moses basket comes in? (Mumsnet should invent a "confused" smiley!)