December 2016 babies... 2nd trimester in sight

[becciandbump]

Not sure how to post the link but having a go guys

I love all the talk about Christmas Day plans, my OH thinks I'm a nutter for worrying about it already! Our plan is to hopefully go to my mums- she literally lives round the corner from us and my siblings will be there etc. However I am due on 20th so if I go over I might not feel upto it, or.i could be in hospital or anything! Praying that baby comes early, around 10th would be so lovely

Seriously I'd forget about Christmas as normal this year, having a newborn is just exhausting, they sleep a ridiculous amount but normally only on you/your partner if you're lucky. If you're bf'ing it can take up to 3/5 days for your milk to come in - csection can delay the milk too just FYI - then you have to establish feeding which is much easier if you can just sit there with your boobs out, I'm close to my family but not that close! Plus travelling with a newborn can be a drama, there's all the kit and they should only be in the car seat for max 2hours and you'll - probably - be sore after labour/delivery.

Basically I'm just trying to say to not put any pressure on yourselves! Try to avoid planning, hopefully your families will all be ok with the "we're just going to wait and see" approach which will make life easier all around

I'm so looking forward to doing nothing this Christmas and maybe even persuading my lovely sister come because she's the only person who will bee genuinely helpful to have around
My dad and DH's parent will want to come here but will still expect to be hosted the whole time and will not understand my mission to stay in my PJs for weeks on end judgey judgey.
I don't know if Ill get my way Im sure we'll just be descended upon Dh can host I suppose.

Thanks puppy and dartmoor.

Think I'm going to have to start setting boundaries early. My mums already talking about booking time off to come and visit (quite how she can guess the dates is beyond me) and made noises the other day about being at the delivery! We're not that kind of family and I definitely don't want anyone else apart from DH and professionals there. She had emergency c section for both me and bro so is excited about attending a birth. I made very uncomfortable noises and hoping that nips it in the bud, but suspect I may need to be more direct

In our experience babies sleep 23.5 hours a day in a way that means you get none.
Unless people are bringing you dinner, washing up, tidying and doing the laundry they are only a burden!!!!

In our experience babies sleep 23.5 hours a day in a way that means you get none.
Unless people are bringing you dinner, washing up, tidying and doing the laundry they are only a burden!!!!

With DD we allowed everyone who knocked on the door in - it was a revolving door. It added to my PND and really spoiled out first few weeks. This time I'm planning a sign on the door, and no visitors - especially overnight guests. We have family that don't help, but expect waiting on hand and foot. They most certainly will not be welcome.

We both want the first couple of weeks as readjustment sleeping time to being a family of 4. And I don't give a fuck if people think we're unreasonable

bristol if it isn't something you want just say your hospital/midwives only allow one birth partner present and that will be your DH. We had my DM with us, she asked to be there, neither of us were bothered if she was - in the nicest possible way - so let her, it didn't add anything I'd say but it didn't detract anything either. If anything she found seeing me in pain very difficult so I don't think she'll be asking this time around!

Thanks for the advice, will definitely be putting my foot down.

Good idea dartmoor, hadn't thought of that one. The best I'd come up with was just to not mention I'd gone in to labour and then just send the photo of the baby!

bristol I don't think it's rude to say only day guests! Can be hard to mAnage if any family are far away though. My mums stayed for about a week with all mine so far, and last time tbh she was quite a nuisance kept expecting to be fed but wouldn't pitch in to help with any cooking etc! Inlaws and family friends sent lots of food over to us, so I mainly served that but my mum would moan about it. So not sure what to do this time as I can do without extra stress of having to "host" and being made to feel the food isn't up to scratch. Maybe she'll be a little more reasonable this time! I'll probably limit to a couple of nights max though.

mrsG welcome to the thread! I can't see a nub in the picture. I have been spending ages on nub theory groups so wound have had a guess for you otherwise!

What are these mothercare events people are going to? Is it if you sign up to their loyalty card?? I will have to have a look!

tipboov no idea as to quality, but just stumbled on these and there's a 30 inside leg option. There are a few different styles too

m.vertbaudet.co.uk/Navigation/Produit/018040129?type=Boutique&fc=6559&bid=1676&semid=1676&endecaShopId=4294949214

puppy our dd never slept that much! She was a nightmare though (reflux, traumatic birth etc). She still doesn't, she woke 6 times last night between 11 and 4am.

For Xmas, I'm expecting this one to come in late November, so we'll be ready to go to family for Xmas. I've told my sister she needs to get the work on her house finished so she can host!

We found visitors a source of strain last time, especially because I struggled with breastfeeding. I think I'll be more relaxed this time. I hope!

Chapman I'm also exhausted, and still suffering from sickness at 16 weeks. I got a fit note from my gp this morning for reduced hours so I can cope.

These firawla

www.mothercare.com/expectant-parent-event/expectant-parent-event-mob,default,pg.html

Ahhhh mad to think the babies will have started to arrive by Christmas! I am hoping for an ELCS in the first week of December so should be a couple of weeks in by actual
Christmas Day. Had an emcs last time but DH had a month off and my recovery was not awful and we had the loveliest time settling into being a family of three. It was all a happy haze. Imagine it will be a bit different this time with a toddler although hoping DH will have a similar amount of time off. My dad and brother live abroad and will probably come for about a week for Christmas and to meet the new baby but they will
Hopefully be more helpful than annoying and if we're not feeling up to it they will stay at my in-laws' place. DH's family are all local but are lovely and won't intrude much but will help with anything they can. M-I-L is wonderful with just coming in and blitzing housework, taking washing away, having DS etc so we are very lucky!! We have gone to s-i-l's for Christmas Day when we've been around the last few years - with my in-laws and hers (and my family when they've been around) so imagine we will try and pop in briefly although they will understand if we decide not to. Will save us having to sort a Christmas meal out so is the easy option for us really!

For whoever was worried about mothers wanting to be at the birth you have to be honest about your wishes. Personally I think a birth is a very special time for husband and wife or partner and wife I wouldn't want my mother there but she would be welcome at the hospital as soon as baby arrived. My sister on the other hand had my mum there the entire time which may be hard for my mum being at one grandchilds birth and not the other? I'll have to be quite sensitive about that although my sister lives near her and we are hours away so not that practical anyway x

Thanks for the link Bristol it says no events at my local store so will have to check again later!

I would love my mum at the birth but I doubt it will be possible as my dad is really ill (terminally ill and and in a wheelchair) so it would mean my brother being able to go over and look after him so mum could come over. And that would mean him taking time off work. I wouldn't ask him to do that and by December he won't have holiday left to take even if he wanted to. My due date is a Friday though, so who knows, perhaps I'll go into labour over the weekend and all will work out and pigs will fly over the hospital

I'm trying not to think about my mum's labour with me. I was her first. I was two weeks overdue and about to be induced when she went into labour. It took me 36 hours to come out. Not an experience I'm keen to repeat with the next generation!

Thanks bristol no upcoming ones near me at the moment but I will keep an eye on it - looks quite good!

Mrsthedog and I had a bit of a time with DD being born. From waters going to EMCS was about 55 hours. They then had to stay in hospital.
Doing this as a couple together, going through it and coping and managing has been great for our relationship and out parenting confidence. I'm really glad it was just us two :-)

puppythedog over the last five years we've been through three miscarriages and five rounds of fertility treatment together, and he's been with me in scrubs holding my hand through egg collections without sedation, all of it just the two of us. It's been horrendous, and it's common for couples to split over the pressure (5 couples just in our infertility group) but we're stronger than ever. After what we've been through so far I can't imagine we're going to be lucky enough to have a nice smooth birth experience. I don't want dh to have to deal with it himself if my mum can be there as well for support, if nothing else but in a practical sense.

So there are two conflicting posts about presence of someone other than the parents at Birth.
I can't remember who was playing about being unsure, I think I wanted to share my thoughts because it is something you share as a couple and my only thoughts are will an extra meet both of your needs? Barking sounds like it would only be a helpful thing for you.

Sorry puppythedog, having a particularly bad day and I was being oversensitive. I would really love my mum to be there but it's unlikely to be possible, hence it being a bit of a sore subject for me.

barkingtreefrog I did not think you were criticising me or that you had taken it personally.
It's a really helpful reminder that what is right for one couple/parent may not be for others.
I love my mother in law but had she been there we would not have been able to look back on the start of our parenting knowing we could carry on the two of us. When our relationship was under pressure we could look back and think 'if we could do that we can definitely talk about this stuff'.
There is the other side of course, a whole village etc. Support for both.
It all depends upon your circumstance and your system of people as to what would work.
I hold our experience very dear, I am very proud of us :-)

I think, like everything, who you want to have with you varies from person to person! My DM was lovely and her being there allowed DH a break to stretch his legs etc - from first attempt at inducing to EMCS was 4days I think, all a bit hazy! All in hospital due to being so overdue - in any case she was great but having not been through it before she wasn't that much help tbh but she appreciated being there and, like everything in life, it wasn't just about me was it!

I had DH and my Mum and my sister there! It was really nice. They weren't all there all the time, as it was a home birth so people could go in and out and make cups of tea for the midwives etc. I live abroad now, so it would be difficult to do it the same way. We also have DS now and as I had a fast labour last time I might end up with just the midwife if someone can't take DS quickly enough! I feel a lot more relaxed about it this time though, I know my body can do it, I know the midwives are supportive, I know it's just a few hours from the whole experience of being a parent.