May 2016 - May the sickness end soon!

[Bishboshbash]

Hello!!
Thought I better start a new thread before the other one is full up.
If anyone wants added to the FB group PM me, can you say what your profile pic is too so I can find you, thanks!
Hope everyone has a good day today, any scans happening?

The race has a great goody bag - a bottle of water and numerous chocolate bars. I did it for the chocolate

Welcome pikz and positiveglow! As we say, May the sickness end soon!

Meanwhile, am officially MENTAL. After weeks wingeing that nobody in the underground gave me their seat, I just had my first rush hour journey with a baby on board badge - a lovely lady got up like magic the moment I stepped onto the train - and then I felt really guilty!!! And then someone got on who smelt like mothballs and I wanted to throw up...

Ok nicky in that case I forgive you!

Hi all, will catch up on posts soon. To those who know vaguely about biology/human body could you please try to calm me down- DS (2 yr old) yesterday went from kneeling position to full leaving on me/both hands shoved on my-tummy/his full weight briefly on my tummy. This was through a fairy thick duvet cover. No bleeding etc. but could this have caused bad damage to baby?
Now freaking out again...never ending.

Anyone heard from Mamama31?? Not heard from her in a while, hope all is ok.

peas - I just came on here to post about something very similar. My DS was standing on my lap and messing about and then suddenly decided to stand full weight on my stomach. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure I read somewhere that you almost have to kill the mother to hurt the baby as they are so well protected. Hopefully someone else can come along and reassure both of us!

arrgh odog thanks, worries are never ending!! Thanks for reassurance, I read that too. It does make sense through all the layers the baby is currently cocooned under and swimming around in?!

I wouldn't worry too much Odog and Peas. I was also worried as my (rather large and heavy) cat has jumped on my stomach a few times. The baby is well protected in there with all the fluid and it still quite far down in your pelvis at this stage which also protects it.

I was also wondering where mamama31 was. I hope she's ok.

I'm not sure if I’ve posted in this thread yet! Congrats on good scans
Ljjeffro & Peas (and anyone else I may have missed!)

And hello to hotchoc and positiveglow!

Toffee I didn’t have a CO test, are we all supposed to have them or does it depend on if your local area offers them or not?
Frozen (and anyone else who has them already) where did you get your maternity bras from? Any recommendations? My boobs are still really super painful, I’m an E cup though (think I’ll have gone up a size or two though, been busting out of my normal bras for a while now) and don’t know how great non-underwired bras would be…

I decided this would be the week I make a real effort with eating better because I’ve felt so guilty about eating loads of bread and biscuits every day, had a nice yogurt with strawberries and an apple for breakfast, then two satsumas just now, my body is rebelling though and I feel so so sick, thought I was going to faint! Giving in and having a sandwich for lunch, think I need the bread in the morning!

My scan is on Thursday, I can’t handle how slowly time is going, it’s agonising! I’ve been a lot more positive in the last week or two but still slightly terrified about getting bad news at the scan. Just want to sleep until then!

Hi Vicky, I got my bras from Debenhams, they're the Miriam Stoppard maternity ones. I'm a 36F now and have found them nice and supportive. They are certainly not the most attractive looking bras though, but I guess comfort wins over style!

Good luck for the scan on Thursday!

Hi everyone sorry for being absent all weekend, had a terrible weekend for nausea, could barely eat dinner last night, however today it's so much better (hoping me saying that doesn't jinx it...)

I'm struggling to read back on my phone but well done on the run nicky that's an amazing acheivement, wish I felt motivated to exercise!

peas and odog Im afraid I don't have any advice but I'm sure I've also read about how protected baby is at this stage. I'm like frozen and only have experience of cats- one of mine jumped on me for a cuddle yesterday- he likes to lay across my chest when I'm lying down and ouuchhh! It must be difficult with young excitable children who just want to play, but I'm sure everything will be ok.

vicky my scans thursday too, what time is yours?

Hi All,

This is where my journey with you ends - I have struggled since I found out I was pregnant and last week made the decision to terminate. I had the operation on Saturday so just wanted to wish you all well and thank you for all of the support you gave me when I was feeling incredibly low.

My antenatal depression was so severe and I was so petrified about being forced to give birth vaginally that it just became too much for me - The support I had from my Midwife, Drs, partner, friends and counsellor were absolutely amazing (not to mention the lovely ladies of Mumsnet), however the prospect of being pregnant for another 7 months was something I couldn't cope with. The anti-depressants helped significantly, but I still didn't feel any happiness or excitement about becoming a Mother.

BPAS were superb and very non-judgemental - The procedure was honestly the worst day of my life and I didn't make the decision lightly. Whilst there is definitely a sense of relief, there is also a massive amount of guilt and sadness and an awful lot of tears.

I'd love to become a Mother some day - however I will be going back onto contraception straight away and working through all of the issues that reared its head for me this time around. I'd like to ensure that if we do try again, it's a much more positive experience and I can hopefully look forward to being a parent. We're also saving up straight away for a private C-section so the terror of the NHS not granting one to me will be negated.

I wish everyone on here very happy and non-eventful pregnancies and wish you all well for the future.

Hi Fluffy. Be well.

Fluffy very sad to read this. Having gone through this myself many many years ago, I know how tough and horrible both physically and emotionally this all is.

I am absolutely SHOCKED and very upset that despite expressing your fears and depression and worries about childbirth you weren't absolutely assured you would receive a caesarean? Did they actually say they wouldn't book this in for you? Its horrific that despite knowing that this was hugely contributing to your fears and swaying you to have a termination, they still refused to guarantee one

Hi Peas,

When I was 4+4 I went to the Drs and said I needed a C-section else I'd terminate, I was adamant from the start and the Dr said I should speak to a Midwife so I did, the same day.

She was utterly lovely, we spoke about my needlephobia and my fears around childbirth (as I think I said, I saw my sister give birth.. 3rd degree tear, double prolapse, first child, refused an epidural, so much blood... I was there for the whole of it and they weren't very nice to her) combine that and my 'control freak' nature and I just couldn't cope.

The midwife was lovely, wrote a letter to the Head Consultant then and there. However, the Consultant refused to see me until after my scan at 12 weeks as sadly miscarriages happen. I had a meeting on 23rd November booked to discuss it, however this is still 3 weeks away, at which time I would have been 15+ weeks and I was told that there was no guarantee I'd be granted one then and there - I may have to speak to other people (Consultant Midwife, Mental health professionals etc).

I read up on my Heath Trust and they have one of the lowest C-section rates in the country - something they're very proud of.

I just couldn't deal with the uncertainty - If I got to the 23rd November, for the Consultant to potentially then push me onto other people... I'd be getting closer and closer to 24 weeks and then.... what if they still refused? I am not joking when I say I would have considered taking my own life.

I don't feel they were totally unreasonable and at the moment, I don't know how much of the feelings are 'in my head' as looking at the logical steps they took, they were doing 'something' and maybe the Consultant would have said yes to the C-section on the 23rd November. I will never know.

I don't want to 'inconvenience' people, nor blame my decision on anyone - The hormones were without a doubt the main reason for me deciding to terminate, however the birth was definitely the second reason. I'm very lucky that both my partner and I are in well paid jobs and we are lucky enough to be able to save up to pay for a private C-section. I just feel that if we had that as an option... I could relax slightly, knowing that I would be in total control how / when / where I gave birth (unless it came early!)

I was umming and ahhing about coming back, but wanted to update everyone as everyone was so kind and I also wanted to be open and honest about my thoughts and feelings - This wasn't my time, however I hope it will be in the future

fluffy I was about to say what peas has said, I'm ahocked that with pregnancy related mental health, that the nhs still refused a c-section, I thought that people were supposed to be acknowledging mental health more and to me that's just as valid a reason to have a section as it would be for someone with a physical reason for one.

I'm sorry you've had such a traumatic time, I'm glad you are getting lots of support and I have no doubt this will help you be the mum you deserve to be when you are ready x

fluffy still think this is very sad and pretty disgraceful of the Consultant, really disgusted by this actually. You'd think with all the recent stories surrounding some of the awful consequences of depression and mental illness in expecting mothers and new mums, they'd have finally got better procedures in place surrounding these issues.

I know in future you will definitely want/have a c-section one way or the other, but do bear in mind what you witness as 3rd party, and experience as the mum to be are very different. My birth of DS involved forceps, lots of pain etc etc but I cant wait to go through it again! Best, most exciting thing I've ever done. Hasn't put me off at all. Though witnessing it and not getting your own baby handed to you at the end must have been pretty horrific...

Hope you are ok x

cross post with you Southy

:) peas it's so true though, I don't think enough is done for mental health, how is it ok to leave someone for that long to discuss something so important when you know how they are feeling?! It's not good enough.

Thanks for coming back and updating us fluffy. So sorry to hear about what happened and hope you are ok.

I'm really shocked that you weren't fast tracked/treated as a priory and had to wait so long for the consultant appointment. Take care x

Fluffy I'm so sorry you didn't get the right support and I hope you get it now so if/when you decide to try again in future it's easier and less stressful. I had a termination once and know it's a tough thing to go through both physically and mentally but it sounds like you made the right decision for you and that's the best thing you can do

Grouchy exciting that we have our scans on the same day - What time is yours? Mine is 2.50pm, think I will take a half day off work rather than have to twiddle thumbs for longer.

Feeling so rough and nauseous today despite eating and drinking plenty. Luckily don't have any plans tonight so can have a lazy evening and an early night.

Fluffy I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, I'm glad you have such great friends and family around to support you. Hope you feel better soon.

I'm also another who is fretting about Mama. I might have a look back and see when she last posted, but it has definitely been a while.

Southy my scan is at 11:50, it was late in the afternoon but they wrote and rescheduled so yay even less time to wait! My husband and I are going to take the day off and go for lunch or something afterwards to celebrate assuming all is well. We've arranged to meet both our families in London on Sunday for lunch under the guise of belatedly celebrating his birthday as his Mum has been abroad recently, will tell them then :)

Frozen thank you, will go and have a look - I no longer care about having attractive bras, just want ones that don't hurt my boobs!

Tiff Mine's just before 10am. They've been really good at fitting scans in to suit DH (I'm a SAHM so can do any time). 10 days to wait!

Hope you feel better soon.

I'm getting signs of PGP already. Nightmare. Hope it settles and disappears. I can't have that with 3 and 1 year olds.

fluffy. I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of it. I don't think the NHS can refuse a c section. If a consultant won't do it, they're obliged to refer you to someone who will. It's awful you weren't reassured about that. I hope you're ok and getting the RL support you need.