Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for our rainbows

[townsender]

Welcome to the thread, for anyone pregnant with a rainbow baby following baby loss.
A lot of us have graduated from the TTC angels and rainbows thread, but please feel free to join us if you are new, to share our highs and lows as we watch our bumps grow and await the safe arrival of our rainbows.

The current TTC thread is here:
Link

Bloody hell you were brave - well done you!
Do have any feelings if it's a boy or girl? I've still not read back through the pages I missed!

All of DDs things are vacuum packed in my parents loft as they kindly removed her clothes/belongings before I got home (at my request).. It was a shared wardrobe with my DS so would have had to face them everyday otherwise..

I do love looking through her memory box though when the mood takes me.. I did get very teary the other day when I compared all three of my sonogram pictures for my DCs.. My DDs was the clearest & I was pleased to have such a good photo of a happy time... :) but then felt shitty because of the unfairness of it all..

April, it must be difficult for you with SIL, I can totally relate to how you feel though. I was very angry towards pregnant people

Lake, I was told by multiple people it won't do any harm, just makes blood a bit thinner to flow to the placenta properly. My consultant said to stop at 36 weeks (I think it was!) and they still gave me an Epi, I did ask but they said it was ok. How are you feeling in yourself at the mo? When all my growth scans were booked it felt more 'real' but it still didn't seem like I was actually pregnant iyswim

Winter, I often look through dd's memory box, I cry every time I love holding her little teddy. There were two, all the time I spent with her she was holding one and I was holding one, when the time came for her to be taken away we switched. She was buried with the one I was holding and I have hers

Quickly marking my place!

Towns thanks for setting up the thread.

Tulip so happy all was ok - I posted to you on the other thread but I basically had an identical experience 3 weeks ago and like you, they decided it was just a sensitive cervix (mine was bleeding a little). Tightest of hugs.

All ok here. On the c section chat, my consultant says he'll do a section at either 39 or 38 weeks depending on how the baby responds to non-stress tests.

My info:

Name: Critter
Age: 35
Angel: My first beloved and long-awaited baby boy J born at 39 +3 by EMCS in January 2014 after a perfect joyful pregnancy followed by a velamentous cord insertion rupture and massive haemorrhage. Died 20 hours after he was born due to oxygen deprivation and blood loss.
Other DC: None.
Rainbow: Little boy number two due July 2015.

Hi all I've found you:
Name: vicky
Age:30
Angel: Edie born at 36 weeks after a fetal maternal haemorrhage
Other DC: DS 4.5yrs
Due: 13th Oct 15

Found the thread, read through everyone's posts and caught up. Love to all

Running out on you all now as work to do x

Just a quick post.

Name: Kayleigh
Age: 29
Angel: Ben born at 34+1 on 15/4/14
Other dc: Jessie (8) and Brian (5)
Due: 9th September but likely to be induced in August.

Tulip what a scary experience, i'm glad everything was ok but it's horrible you had to go through that. I hope you're managing to get some rest

town thank you for starting the thread off

lake i'm only to take the aspirin until 36 weeks, i presume that's so that my blood will be a bit thicker by the time they induce me (but don't quote me on that)

So, it's my 12 week scan tomorrow. I'm so bloody anxious I can't eat! I'm currently curled up in a little ball in bed.

Can I ask how it went for you all on your return to work? I'm going on a little holiday next week then starting back at work on the 18th May.

Hope it all goes well flambola!

My return to work wasn't very good. Despite me asking them to ( and them confirming they had) management didn't notify everyone of what happened.

I had a return to work meeting with my manager and told her I was pg and I had to leave the next day early for my scan. She then apparently was speaking to people behind my back how she doesn't think I should of got pg that quick after dd

Then I walked into a packed room and someone came running in foing 'ohhh how's your little baby?! Have you got any pictures?' I just ran out crying and went into the toilets. I then had a panic attack and wouldn't stop being sick. My friend at work phoned and paid for a taxi for me to go home, she then got told off for giving me money I had none and the cash machine was quite a walk away

BUT.... My employers are useless and there had been much happier returns to work on the thread if you have a good employer I'm sure it will go smoothly for you.

Going*

So many spelling mistakes! (My phone just corrected mistakes to moustache twice )

Good luck Flambola, sure you'll be fine. I think you had an early scan is that right?

Can't help re return to work in afraid. I moved abroad when I was pregnant with my angel with the idea we'd be abroad a year then return. As we were then committed to be abroad I am still on my maternity and will end up running my next leave back to back all being well. Im lucky not to have to go back, it must be difficult x

Good luck for tomoro flambola :)

Can't help with the return to work as I'm a SAHM.. A holiday before hand though sounds lovely :)

Flambola I went back to work 8 weeks after J was born. That is all you get here in the US after a c section.

It was very hard. I did a lot of crying in the loos and felt like people were staring at me. I hated dealing with work politics and stress when I should have been at home with my baby. The conversations with people who didn't know what had happened sucked.

Things that helped were working from home 2 days a week. It was very tiring having to be 'normal' around people. And sometimes I had to go home early because I was upset. Can you do a phased part time return? And ask your manager to send an email round letting people know what happened? I think SANDS has advice for employers which you could share with your boss.

Yes see what your boss says if you're concernes when you're back. As Critter suggests, Sands etc offer some good advice. Also, if you ever (or any of you) need any more advice I'm an employment lawyer and happy to help out!

Did anyone ever find out if they were having a boy or girl at 13 weeks?! I went for a scan today with my sister and just asked when I would be able to find out and she said she was pretty sure it was a boy! Wasn't expecting her to tell me and felt terrible as my hubby wasn't there! I am sure it can't be that certain at that stage but she seemed fairly confident! X

april oooh exciting on possibly finding out the sex... It can be somewhat accurate at that stage depending on the competency of the sonographer!

Omg April! A boy! I was told the earliest they could tell is 16 weeks but I suppose it depends on the baby?

Ooohhh you may be able to help me April! Can I pm you?

Yeah it seems v early! I am going to have another scan in a few more weeks so we'll see. Won't be telling anyone it may be a boy as if it's actually a girl I'll feel bad to her that people thought she was a boy! Ha. Secretly very pleased it's may be a boy though!

Ducky, yes no probs just pm me, I'm off to bed now (9pm is a late night these days!) and I'm out most of Tomo but will get back to you as soon as I can! X

Have pm'd you April

Flambola, thinking of you tonight and for your scan tomorrow. I definitely found 1st trimester a lot harder and more stressful than last time. Looking forward to hearing good news.
For going back to work, I had a pretty good experience. I had 5 months off and was constantly worried about being lonely, so was glad to be back using my brain for work, rather than for planning a social life which I had no motivation to have. I went back into a different office, and only my supervisor knew (without any details of what happened), so I could tell people in my own time. My new colleagues didn't even know I'd come back from maternity leave, they assumed I'd just transferred from my previous department. I really only started to feel 'normal'/'myself' after I'd started work again.

April, I reckon if its a boy in the right position then they can tell at 12 weeks. I had the Harmony test, and with the package I got a scan at the same time as the results, all at 12 weeks. The sonographer knew mine was a boy from the Harmony test, but she showed me his '3rd leg' on the scan and it was pretty obvious. The sonographer at my 15 week cervix scan also took great delight in showing me his 'magic wand'.. and she didn't know he was a boy beforehand. (gotta love the willy euphemisms in our healthcare system )

Oooh that's intersting town, well I'll keep you posted! I was just so thankful there was a heartbeat today after having bled so much post stitch and also having had some issues yesterday.

Look forward to hearing about your scan tomorrow Flambola. They are always scary, you should treat yourself after. I've decided I will treat myself each time I clock in another week- why not! Sometimes the treat is a hot choc and early night! Ha.

I strangely miss work! Feel I've lost my identity a bit. With having to be on modified bed rest once I'm in my second trimester work wouldn't really be an option tho. I'm going to learn French online to keep my brain ticking! X

My return to work was good. I went back the beginning of November so I think I had 9 weeks off after but I was going crazy at home alone.

Work were great let me dictate what shifts I wanted to do and what patients I wanted to look after. I'd saved all my holiday to extend my mat leave so ended up taking at least one week off every month for the first 4 months and they used the rest to let me drop a shift a week for a while.

Good luck flambola

April, the thing I messaged you about has been sorted today

Thinking of you today Flambola, all the best for your scan.

I went to back to work about 6 months after I had 'A'. It was really daunting however I did a phased return where I did half days, then a couple of days a week then back to full time. Like lake I had a lot of annual leave so went on a holiday afterwards. It was awful seeing people for the first time but in all fairness everybody was lovely. A lot of people not in our department but who I saw on the periphery didn't even know I was expecting which I was quite relieved about!

April I know exactly what you mean about people's assumptions on our births. I had a colleague say to me not so long ago, ooh you lose all dignity in birth! It's so painful blah blah blah. I looked her in the eye and said I had given birth before you know. That shut her up

Well me and DH are braving it and going to go for a wander round some shops tomorrow with a view to atleast start looking at what we want to buy. We have already booked a Bednest for rental but after the death of the 7 week old I think we are going to cancel the order and get a Snuzpod instead. I know the Bednest wasn't used correctly but I just don't think I can be doing with the anxiety of it all.

Good luck today Flambola, thinking of you - hope the scan goes well.

Tulip, that's interesting - and also so sad - that your mum also had a stillbirth. Like you, I feel like it has helped that my mum went through the same thing and we talked about my older brother growing up - makes it easier to see how my first baby will always be part of our family's story.

I also got massively freaked out by that news story about the poor little baby that died in the Bednest. I have been wondering about bedside cribs - I found it quite hard to get out of bed without help after my c section for a few weeks, and especially hard to bend over to pick things up, eg to load the dishwasher. I know everyone recovers from the surgery differently, but my earlier experience means I would like some sort of side-sleeping attachment so I can feed the baby easily without having to get out of bed and pick him out of the cot. The Snuzpod looks great - I'll have to see if there's something similar available in the US.

That is rubbish about the person telling you about birth, and good for you for your response. Ugh. I often find I don't know quite what to say in those situations and always just end up feeling furious and upset afterwards.

april i was told that dd (Jessie) was a girl at my 12 week scan. I admit i was a bit but it was confirmed at the 20 week scan (when she was head down and therefore proudly waving her bits at the screen).

AFM saw the bereavement nurse and midwife yesterday, i've been advised to keep going with the aspirin, but to keep an eye on the headaches (i don't normally take aspirin at all so they're possibly thinking that could be the issue?). They've also moved my next consultant appointment forward because i've specified i want to see the man himself because all the different registrars are telling me different weeks for possible induction and i'd feel better knowing a potential "window". For those of you who have had your rainbows/ are approaching the birth- when did you know when you were going to be induced? Thanks in advance xx

They messed up my care Kayleigh, but at the 26 week appt (should of been earlier) I was given the option of induction at 38 weeks or c sec at 39 weeks but she said she would be wiling to do either at 37 if I felt I needed to. I then got a date at my 33 week (I think!) but was brought forward when I was 36 weeks due to anxiety. I may have been able to get a date sooner but that was the first time I requested it

april we found out both times previously at 12 weeks, they were right both times. I think they wouldn't say at this stage unless they were v v sure!!

X