Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for our rainbows

[townsender]

Welcome to the thread, for anyone pregnant with a rainbow baby following baby loss.
A lot of us have graduated from the TTC angels and rainbows thread, but please feel free to join us if you are new, to share our highs and lows as we watch our bumps grow and await the safe arrival of our rainbows.

The current TTC thread is here:
Link

Glad it got sorted Ducky!

Kayleigh, wow so they got it right with you DD at 12 weeks, I know a lot of people say girls are harder to identify that early.

Hope everyone is doing well. Had several melt downs today as my stitch was hurting and I felt like my insides were falling out. Spent the day on Google and not much good came of it. Had a good afternoon nap and feel a lot better now! I've been sleeping so much and doing nothing! I think I'm working on the basis sleeping kills a bit of the day! Oh dear in in for a long haul I'm only 13 weeks!

Love to all.

Ps Flambola, how did you get on? X

Keep away from Google!

Thanks for all the return to work stories. They've kind of assuaged some of my fears - except for yours Ducky. Your employers sound like they've been bloody awful!

My scan went well! The baby was there, and wriggling about. I've let myself become a tiny bit excited . They were all fab at the hospital, too. I was worried I might have to chase up my care but they've already made me three appointments with my consultant, one with my midwife and will be putting me in touch either bereavement or mental health midwives, I can't remember which, before 20 weeks. So I feel in good hands.

I can't believe some of you found out the sex so early! I'd love to know what I'm having.

Un-mumsnetty hugs to everyone.

Great news Flambola! Glad they're looking after you. I've been looking into bereavement counselling where I live but insurance doesn't cover it so have to pay £120 an hour! Do you guys think it's worth it? How many sessions did you/ do you expect to have? X

Can I tentatively join you all

Name who has
Angel eve 18/10/2014 18+3 days severe hydrops caused by heart condition and downs syndrome
Other dc ds17 dd9
Rainbow dec 2015 not sure if date have a scan on Wednesday
I'm very very scared as we found out at the scan last time eve had the hydrops and heart problems I'm petrified I'm going to have to go through all the heart break again

Hope your stitch is feeling better April! I didn't have bereavement counselling so can't comment on it. I was offered it but I'm not good at talking so turned it down. Will your hospital not offer it to you?

Flambola that's great news!

My employers are generally rubbish I think! You probably wouldn't beleive it if I told you who they were

Who has, welcome. So sorry to hear of your loss. This thread is so supportive and has really helped me through tough times. Hope you find the same x

Ducky the hospital doesn't offer it and because it's a country with just private healthcare if its not covered by insurance you have to pay for it. In the grand scheme having had private health insurance has been amazing as I have been covered for everything and they work more on the American model of scanning a lot! I have no issues with the NHS (I actually think it's great for what it is) at all but I only just got my referral to see a stitch specialist about a week ago, the day I had my stitch privately!

Whohas, sorry you find yourself here and a sad welcome. I echo Ducky's thoughts about this being a very supportive group. I don't know much about hydrops so just googled it. Is it something that can reoccur? From what I saw it is linked to Rh status? Sorry for my ignorance. Do you feel you're being well supported and do extra scans help at all for piece of mind?

The hydrops where caused by a huge build up of fluid all over eves body the heart was severely damaged I have the same midwife as last time and she was lovely when I spoke to her but not had a proper booking in yet I'm so scared they haven't told me if I will have extra scans of support

ducky thank you for that. I'm hoping the consultant will give me at least some idea as i'll be 26 weeks when i see him.

whohas welcome, so sorry you find yourself here, but the ladies here are so supportive.

april sorry to hear your stitch was giving you pain- i hope it's eased off now. I've been seeing the hospital's bereavement nurse regularly since my meltdown a few weeks ago and i've found it very helpful.

flambola glad the scan went well, and it's really good of the hospital to ensure all those appointments are booked in for you (wish my hospital were as organised)

Love to all xx

Welcome whohas, so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you've got a lovely midwife, so I'm sure they will look after you and make sure you get good care. Are you actually getting a scan on Wednesday, or is it your booking in appointment?
There's no getting away from the scariness of 1st trimester, and all the things that can go wrong, but if I read your story right then sounds like Downs was the root cause of the hydrops (as weak heart is a symptom of Downs). In which case there is no reason it is more likely to happen again to you this time. Waiting is agony though, big hugs.

April I hope you're feeling a bit better. I forgot to say from an earlier post, going to French lessons sounds like a great idea to get your mind distracted from pg stress, and maybe even meet some people too. I haven't had counselling, so no idea if it's worth the money. Ask your DH to check if his employer has an employee counselling and advice service, as that might cover you too, for free counselling

flambola, very pleased for you, hopefully you can relax and enjoy the long weekend now. Your area's healthcare sounds very organised (jealous!)

AFM I'm 19 weeks today. Hooray, and Eeek! I'm getting more nervous by the day TBH. 24 weeks seems a long way away, not to mention the hurdle of the 21 week scan to get through. Deep breaths...

It's a proper scan on Wednesday at the hospital I'm petrified I really could do with gallons of wine but sticking to herbal tea yes they said eve had too many heart problems she fought as long as she could towns I just want Wednesday out of the way

town for you, i'm also getting more nervous as the weeks go by.

whohas i'll be thinking of you on Wednesday

AFM 22 weeks today, and the anxiety is now a little bit worse. I think it's because i'm very aware that i've now got 12 weeks until i'm at the same stage as where things went wrong last time- and with the way the weeks seem to be flying by recently it'll be here before i know it . I'm trying to think positively that it'll all be fine this time but it's hard at times, so i'm just sort of thinking one appointment to the next. Apologies for the waffling on.

Love to all xx

Whohas, will be thinking of you Wednesday x

Kayleigh, it's terrifying isn't it. When you get to where you were when things went wrong last time. With me I had my appt with the midwife the exact same stage I saw the same midwife where she couldn't find the HB. She was so understanding, she had a student midwife with her and I went straight in, she said hello and I just said 'heartbeat'. She got me on the couch and found the heartbeat straight away, she then spent ages trying to reassure me. I spent the rest of the day waiting for something to go wrong... It didn't. I don't think there is anything that can be said to make you 'relax' x

Thank you ducky I'm petrified that they will find this baby has hydrops :( :(

whohas we can virtual handhold together Wednesday as we have a Doppler scan.

town isn't it strange how quick and slow time is going all at the same point.

kayleigh positive thoughts and virtual hugs

That goes to all of you I here really.

AFM..can I ask you all a question please. Have any of you been signed off sick from work relating to pregnancy issues / side effects in the past? My midwife suggested signing me off until maternity leave starts to reduce anxiety etc and just let me focus on keeping healthy etc. thoughts on this? I kinda feel a bit bad about the prospect, but then on the other hand, work can e quite stressful at times x thanks ladies

Thank you Vicky I have a feeling the next 24 hours are going to drag and drive me insane I can feel my stress levels going mental already

Vicky I wasn't completely signed off but had drs notes saying I had to work at the closest office (my work involved a lot of traveling to different offices) and they had to take measures to reduce the stress of the job, like I was running a whole centre long hours on my own, they had to put someone else on with me and I was allowed to leave when I had done my daily hours if I needed too (it's hard to explain without saying what I did for work! ) and instead of running the centre every day I only did it two days and had catch up days and did other less stressful work.

If any of that makes any sense at all!

ducky it is terrifying. The bereavement nurse and midwife i'm seeing at the hospital are very aware of things though and fully understanding that things will probably get harder when i reach that stage and have said that i can see them as much as i need to- even if that's every day. She explained to us she's had parents in the past go in 3 times a day.

vicky i wasn't signed off as i was only doing a temporary position at the time, but when i had my oldest i was advised by my gp to stop working because i was verging on the point of exhaustion and the stress of it taking more than an hour (and 2 buses) to get both to the job and back home was making me border on becoming depressed.

whohas thinking of you, and will continue to think of you tomorrow. I really hope the scan goes well for you

Love to all xx

whohas I'll be rooting for you tomorrow, not long now and you'll have an answer. Stay strong.

vicky, that's a very good way of putting it. We'll all get there eventually. It just seems to take ages when we're living through it.
I've no experience with getting signed off, sorry. But Ducky and kayleigh's comments sound very sensible - to identify what it is in your job that is putting stress on you (physical/mental pressure/commute) and discuss with your employer how you can work around it. I think especially for us ladies, too much time at home 'relaxing' can almost be more stressful as we worry more than most.... work can be a useful distraction if you can find a way to manage and reduce the stress.

and good luck for you too Vicky, for your doppler tomorrow.

Good luck whohas and Vicky

I agree with town, I left for mat leave early because of being off after dd I hadn't used any annual leave so I put it on the front of my mat leave. I found I would sit at home all day with my hands on my bump waiting for him to move and writing down when he did I suppose it's because you don't have to actually do anything when your at home but when your at work you have stuff to do which kind of keeps you busy.

I still had days at work where I went mad though! One day I was running a centre and just got up and walked out without muttering a word to anyone, I got a bus straight to the hospital because I convinced myself ds wasn't moving.

As far as work goes, I just feel very rushed around trying to balance that, home, DS and all the antenatal stuff this time round. My headaches aren't shifting, had one all day Sunday and yesterday. Then to top it all off this stupid dodgy placenta again! I'm really hoping that scan tomorrow shows they got it wrong and it isn't circumvallete. Knowing our luck though that is highly unlikely!

whohas I'll check in on you tomorrow, what time is your appointment?

My appointment is 1.20 I have been up since 4am I'm petrified xxx

Hope it all goes smoothly whohas x

Thank you ducky will update as soon as I can xxx

whohas hoping everything goes well today x

vicky hoping your scan goes well too x

AFM i strongly think i've taken leave of my senses. Just been to the local supermarket and have managed to purchase some pink baby bottles