We may have been Bitter, but we’re no longer Barren! Get your *PESH* in here! All ready for the BESH clusterdiff of 2015 year of the *CuntCushion* (with added tea tree for those sore fanjo moments)!

[MissHobart]

BESH Graduates having a moan about the lack of Gin whilst actually being over the fucking moon to finally have a reason to not be able to drink it! Anything goes, especially asking the wiser CRESH for their sage advice on the horrors and amazement to come when we get the the biggest WIN in history! Bring your baybees here!

Hmmm, we are only just getting our evenings back and The Little Miss is 7 months old! Hate to break that one to you!

I never change a nappy at night unless it is pooey. Just too much hassle!

Good questions Fank - I was wondering about night-time 'routines' as well. L tends to cluster feed in the evening from about 5-10, so I usually have to eat my dinner one handed with him on the boob. No evening for us yet either! I feed him to sleep upstairs in bed and then sneak him into his cot once he's asleep. Not ideal and I'm worried that he's too dependent on me to fall asleep, but he is now managing 6 hours of sleep overnight with one feed. I have been changing his nappy at around 2 am - I worry about him getting a sore bum.

How did you all manage the first few days/weeks alone with the baby once partners had returned to work? Mr Chops was lucky to get 4 weeks off but went back to work on Monday and my mum has been staying this week to help out, but she has just left (lives about a 3 hour drive away) and I'm sat here crying my eyes out .

I don't think I can cope with a baby, a barky dog, trying to get out with them both when we live in an upstairs maisonette with no lift, and having no friends or relatives locally who can drop by to help out. I've never felt so alone and I have to do this for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Any sage words of advice would be appreciated!

Evening HAgs! Sorry for being AWOL, pregnancy is fucking knackering, especially all the menkul, I don't even have the mental energy to be mental at the minute!!

Fab - Nearly there for scannage! Well done! You've made it this far! You'll make it the whole way through!

I have zero advice re baby rearing but watch the questions and answers with trepidation, fear, panic!

Cunty - You are doing great! I'm sure! I have no plans for any kind of routine, I'm aiming to get through the first few months mentally intact with a growing healthy baby. ANything over that I'm trying to see as a bonus!

Anyone heard from RAsp recently? How's the process going?

I have so much to update and no inclination to do it so I will try and summarise and get back to updating more (or too!!) often!

So, I am now under the care of the PEri-natal mental health team, brilliant! I have a CPN who will come and see me regularly up to the birth and then weekly after to make sure I'm ok, coping, have plans in place in case of crisis etc etc. I have had to push and push for this but now they're there I feel supported! I'm feeling positive about everything (sort of! ) and honestly do not think I will need a lot of what they can offer but its good to know it's there. They even have a mother & baby unit in case I need to be more closely looked after! Plus they have loads of post-natal groups (baby sensory, art therapy etc) so I can go be with other "mental mums" for free! Woohoo! Much more appealing than trying to make friends with randoms at NCT classes!

The PNMHT, Birth MAtters, Midwife and Therapist all support a CS decision so the consultant has booked me in!! MiniHobart will be making an appearance on the 1st May! If I go into labour before that (I fucking hope not!!) I will still get the CS on an "emergency" basis. Thank fuck for that! I have spent since 10 weeks getting this and it was quite a relief when it happened! Not that I'm not frightened of having a CS, just a lot less anxious about that compared to VB and not knowing when!

So now I'm just fucking bricking it about having a baby!! 7 weeks to go, THAT IS ALL!!! What the fuck am I doing?!?!?! How do people do it? I have no idea! Very scary! But BR is amazinG! He has DIYed the house (& nursery) to death so it's all nearly ready for a new addition! Who knew all that baby crap took up so much space! Why does a moses basket need to be so massive?! Just need to get on top of the panic before she gets here and all will be well!

And, Breathe!!

Oh wise CRESH tell me it's all going to be ok!

Thanks!

It'll be fine. Just remember my mantra...

'Low expectation = high satisfaction!'

MissH it IS going to be ok. It sounds like you've got all the right support lined up waiting for you, the c-section, her nursery etc and of course the brilliant Cresh! Can't say much more than just be prepared for letting the first few weeks consume you physically, emotionally and mentally. Go with it and to reiterate Bugs, don't put any pressure on yourself.

I clearly got way too ahead of myself thinking that Fanklet was ready for a bedtime routine and longer stretches of sleep. He fooled us last week while we were away visiting family, going 4-5 hours at night, and when we got home he went back to 3-hourly waking and feeding. If i can get 6-7 hours broken sleep a night then i can function so I don't wish to complain. He's a very good baby. But I'm def going to try an evening/bedtime routine with him this weekend (he's 8 weeks on Sunday...omg how did that happen?! I can't even really remember the first 4-5 weeks very well)!

Cunty you are just in the thick of the fog right now. It's going to get better I assure you. You're doing brilliantly. You really are. It's scary being left alone - MG had to spend a week working away mon-fri when Fanklet was about 4 weeks. I was terrified but I tried to go out and do something every day, even if just to the post office or Drs surgery. I actually found it to be ok though and I don't really feel lonely during the day as Im too busy! The evenings are still quite hard sometimes with cluster feeding but it's getting better. MG has been away for work most of this week too and has another 3 day trip in a couple of weeks so I need to just accept it and get used to be on my own. I Wish I had family nearer (they all live about 300 miles from us) but I've got a few friends with kids nearby and am tapping into the social side of mummy hood. You find pretty much everyone is in the same boat and wanting to make friends.

I repeat: you're doing brilliantly. And it will all be fine. Routine is over rated anyway!

Oh and one more thing. I now feel ready to get my sechs life back. Really don't want to go back on the pill or use artificial hormones as contraceptive but not looking forward to using condoms again either. The law of sod would dictate that i would drop the butter dish (have seen this phrase being used but absolutely no idea why...please explain) if I went au naturale. Like we have been doing for 3 and a half years.

Oh yes and I still get stabby about instadiffers. Got an announcement today about a couple due early sept. We went to their wedding in late November ffs. She's 36. Why oh why does this still upset me?

sorry, eels are not all that encouraging are they? Best I can do with baby brain I'm afraid.

Hello all, gosh all this talk is way ahead of me at the moment I'm afraid but they seem like very wise words you're all brilliant and Cunty and Miss, you will be brilliant too!

Tomorrow I shall be 7 whole weeks diffed. I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea now but then get a big panic on that we'll go to the scan on Tuesday and it will just be an empty sac and I'll have raised my hopes for nothing. Damn this bleedin menkul. Does it stop??

Getting ahead of myself did anyone here have the Harmony test? Because of my great age my risk of chromosomal abnormalities is going to be raised and from my research the Harmony seems to be the better test than just doing the NHS Nuchal fold test. What do the wise ESH say?

I didn't have any testing. I made the decision that it wouldn't affect what I did so why increase the risks.

Did anyone else have a very quiet baby during pregnancy? I think I've only felt hiccups once and she's definitely not a mover and shaker! I get the occasional push in my ribs but not much else. No routine (though I don't really have one either with working shifts) and she doesn't wake me up (Never has). I'm 32+4 now and thinking the anterior placenta has a lot to answer for!

Ugh... Plague House here - we've all got sodding flu! I don't think L has it too bad aside from feeling a little warmer than usual, so I'm hoping he's getting some protection from my milk.

Thanks for all the reassurance last week. I gave myself a stern talking to and decided to stop moping around feeling sorry for myself and to get shit done. To that end I have researched baby groups in the local area and made a list of what's on every day. I also cracked the stairs/pram/baby/dog issue by leaving the pram in the car and carrying L down the stairs to the car park. It's still a total faff but at least I feel like I've regained some independence. A naughty splurge on an Ergo carrier has also helped with managing dog walking

Possibly a stupid question - do babies normally fart a lot? Like, big manly farts every few minutes? It's been disrupting L's sleep for the last couple of nights and he's shredding my nipples when he feeds as he writhes around groaning and farting the whole time but cries if I take him off the boob. Am I poisoning him with something I'm eating?

MissH - So glad to hear you're getting support, but it's rubbish that you've had to fight so hard for it. I was bricking it at the thought of actually having an actual baybee as well, but in the moment I found myself just getting on with things I thought I'd never be able to do. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and be forgiving when they happen. I know it sounds clichéd but try to trust your own feelings. Last week my mum was trying to encourage me to give L bottle feeds and leave him to cry himself to sleep, which just felt so wrong to me I ignored her. You'll find your own way, and the Hags are a brilliant source of advice and support - you'll be awesome!

Dor - I absolutely love your mantra! I need to write it on a big piece of paper somewhere I'll see it every day and adjust my expectations accordingly every morning

Fab - How's the menkul? I think that panic before scans is quite normal, and more so when it's a hard-won diffment. I can't offer any advice on the testing as I just had the NT test. Like Dor I'd decided not to have any testing as it wouldn't affect my actions, but on the day I went for it anyway and then worried about the results. Are you likely to find it reassuring or will it add to the menkul do you think?

It's official, I've got a little bean in my tum. I've seen it and everything!! All is looking good, size and fluttery heartbeat on the money. Think it may be time to nestle down on the twat cushions?

So exciting and scary fab ! Congratulations! And welcome to PESH land!

Eeeep! We had a celebratory chips from the chippie dinner tonight and totally got caught out by my sister not eating healthily whoops!

Squeeeeee fab! :) Wonderful news, yay for FabLet!

cunty MiniWinks is a farty pants. I quite often think she's done a poo only to find a clean nappy. She honestly farts louder than her daddy (which is saying something)

MissH that's terrific news, yay for the CS being booked in. Not long to go...

I had the NHS tests, I would've continued with the pregnancy no matter what, but wanted to be prepared (as much aspossible) if there were any issues. No help on contraception either, we've not got much of a sechs life atm but we're not averse to dropping butter dishes, so to speak.

Random flyby to say hi to the PESH - I'm hardly ever on mn now thanks to fb, but thought I would stop in. MiniMerk is a year this week

For whoever asked about the harmony - I had it - drop me a message if you have questions

Hope all is well with all PESH and baybees

Wonderful news Fab! Congratulations. Get yourself settled into PESHland. When is your due date??? Did you have a feeling it might work this time? I must say, you seemed pretty calm and in control of the menkul from what I read on the BESH fred.

cunty yes to the farts!! Fanklet is also a big trumper. He is going through a growth spurt right now at 8 weeks and is feeding really frequently and generally behaving quite erratically- one minute smiley, then suddenly crying and most annoyed, not going down for naps in the day so overtired, irritable and hungry all the time! Bloody growth spurts.