We may have been Bitter, but we’re no longer Barren! Get your *PESH* in here! All ready for the BESH clusterdiff of 2015 year of the *CuntCushion* (with added tea tree for those sore fanjo moments)!

[MissHobart]

BESH Graduates having a moan about the lack of Gin whilst actually being over the fucking moon to finally have a reason to not be able to drink it! Anything goes, especially asking the wiser CRESH for their sage advice on the horrors and amazement to come when we get the the biggest WIN in history! Bring your baybees here!

I didn't know you were back to work
Bugs.

AH I see. WHen are you due back?

It's oh so quiet!

Apologies again for the lack of updates; I knew that life with a new baby would be exhausting but had significantly underestimated just how much! He's currently sleeping on his dad's chest so I've jumped on here for a bit.

Congrats to Fab - and ready for you when you want to head over.

A couple of quick questions for those with more experience:

How do we get L to sleep in his cot and not on one of us all night? We have a Snuzpod co-sleeper and if we're lucky he'll sleep for a couple of hours in it, but only if we put him down when he's already well asleep. The last few nights he's also been quite colicky and unsettled, which hasn't helped. I did fork out for a Cocoonababy this week but he screams the place down as soon as we put him in it. I'll keep trying - it was a bloody expensive gamble!

Does anyone have any tips or thoughts on safe bed sharing? The only way I can get any sleep at night is to have L in our bed next to me and to snuggle him in close. It's lovely as I get to cuddle him, but I'm terrified of smothering him in the night. I tuck his own blanket around him, have our duvet only up to my waist and have his head well clear below the level of my pillows. All the health promotion advice is about how bed sharing is dangerous (we don't have any of the 'high risk' issues they talk about) and it's making me feel like an irresponsible parent.

On the plus side, breastfeeding is going really well and L is packing on the weight.

How's everyone doing? T'is very quiet here! Fank - how's the BFing going now? Has the cluster feeding settled down?

My answers to your questions:

1. Hahaha nope, still not sorted that. Refer to 2.

1. I bedshare (unwillingly) due to 1. I follow the 'safe sleep seven' which are:

The Safe Sleep Seven

If a mother is:

1. A non-smoker
2. Sober
3. Breastfeeding

And her baby is:

1. Healthy
2. On his back
3. Lightly dressed and unswaddled

And they:

1. share a safe surface

Then the baby’s risk of SIDS is no greater than in a crib, and any breathing hazards have been hugely reduced.

I sleep in PJs with a button down top plus a feeding vest, duvet no higher than my waist, on my side with my arm above MiniWink who is in a lightish gro bag. I don't worry about rolling any more because I'm hyper aware of her. Not ideal but better than having to get out of bed a million times a night.

We co-sleep for at least part of the night too. I wear a nightie with an old cashmere cardi over the top. Duvet to my waist and I sleep on my side, usually with The Little Miss close to a rapidly cooling nipple which she was previously sucking.

I used to co sleep with my flatmate's cat (also reluctantly.) The cat used to at least wait until I had woken up before he started poking me in the face and demanding food. Also, I've been trying to get MiniWink to come back when called. She refuses. Puppies are far better at coming to heel with this amount of training. All in all, she would make a very unsatisfactory pet.

Every fucker in my house is asleep except me.

Ah. TC eats my hair if he wants feeding and thinkings I'm feigning sleep. So on that front, R wins.

Reluctant co sleeping here too. Same as above. I tend to wear a soft feeding bra (bravado) and a cardi if it's cold and monkey wears pjs and no sleeping bag. Do you have a co sleeper cot? The bednest was my saviour. When he was teeny I felt better having that there for some safe baby space, even if he was more cuddled into me. Now he comes in when I'm fed up of settling (anytime from midnight to 5am) and the big lump lies horizontally between us. GHJ gets kicked in the face and I get snored at.

Tentatively pokes head around door...hellooo? I don't feel quite ready to come in yet but wanted to mark my place and give hope for an oncoming fresh PESHcluster

Hiya fab, congrats on your win :) Please feel free to hide in Inconspicuous Corner for thrthe time being.

Hags I go back to work at the end of the month :( I am finding the idea far far harder than I would ever have expected. I need to get a grip, big style.

Part time onto shifts, so HWCA and I can more or less manage childcare between us. I couldn't think of a way to manage full time shifts, there's nobody around to help and no paid childcare from 6am. The downside is that I won't see much of my husband. I'm really dreading it. I have absolutely loved my maternity leave.

bugs I'd have packed for him to make sure he left!

Sympathies Bug. You've all heard my GHJ moans. He fannies around, (but, tbf, I'm pretty slapdash with packing - a day out last weekend saw me with no muslins (snotty nose again), no wipes, no bibs and milk but no bottle.) and if I try and help he's accuses me of undermining him (I probably help in a slightly irritated manner..)

Winks, it will be fine. Really. You'll miss miniwinks and HWCA if your shifts alternate, but it is nice to have a role other than mum. I'm full time and fed up already, but I think 4 days would be perfect for me. Just don't spend all your (reduced) wage on coffee and m&s lunches like I do

Oh, and Hello inconspicuous fab.

Almost didn't see you there...

I'm shy and need to have a lot more confidence in actually being diffed so will lurk for the time being if that's ok with you Hags. Feeling decidedly weird about it all at the moment!

I think all of us lurked on the PESH board for weeks before believing we could post - that corner has been well used! Hide under the twat cushions as long as you want.

Thanks Hags

What's happened in here?!

Hags, may I hog the fred with some questions please?

At what stage did you start some form of bedtime routine/pattern with your babas? A is 7 weeks now and has done a couple of 4-5 hour stretches of sleep recently, usually sometime between 10/11pm ish and 3/4am. I'm thinking I could prob try a bath-change-feed-story ritual in the next week or so. Reckon it would have to start around 6:30/7pm so we could have our dinner afterwards and a bit of an evening. And MG could do it after work when he's around, if I express enough for a big feed (what volume constitutes a big feed anyway)!? Am I being overly optimistic and insanely naive??

The only downside I can see with this idea is that expressing is such a faff and quite time consuming for just one bottle, and MG is a bit stressy giving him a bottle as A can be a bit squirmy during feeding...and on a couple of occasions has needed topping off on the boob afterwards. Hes not had a bottle in about 10 days and I'm worried he will forget or just plain refuse it if we don't do it more often.

At what age did you put your babies to bed, leave the room and turn on the monitor? We have A asleep in his carry cot downstairs with us in the evening until we go to bed, which is ok but don't want to be doing this indefinitely. He's been left on his own in his cot for a couple of hours before, with regular checks. I think he could cope with it. I need a plan of action!

Also, when night feeding, did/do you change nappy after every feed?

Sorry for all the me me questions. Things are generally going well; it's just I want us to regain some control over our evenings.

Thanks in advance for you ESHly wisdom