November 2014- Thread 6- Pink, blue or yellow? 20 week scans coming up for the rainbow collective

[Alita7]

Wow this makes me feel so far along! Nearly halfway!

We've been thinking about that weeoinion. Also had a hammock (miyo) and on the whole it was great but not an easy transfer and ended up cosleeping weeks 2-6 at least. A friend's husband made them a similar bedside cot and she swore by it.

Also like that your link says you can rent - may well have a look!

Think we are going to rent one of those bednests. They look great. If you go direct to the company website they rent it for about £10 cheaper than the NCT. Alternatively if my friends' baby (due this week) turns out to be enormous and grows out of his by 4 months we can have theirs!!

I got a side cosleeper crib off eBay for £70. It's in perfect condition and came with bumpers, all the bedding, mobile, sheets, everything! To be honest I don't think I'll use it much, DD never used her moses basket by my bed, she was just in with me every night from day 1 and it looks small, but I have it as a just in case, and if I'm honest just to shut up nosy busy bodies who seem to think the 70% of the world that cosleep and have zero SIDS and much closer family bonds have it wrong and the western world with a big SIDS problem and an obsession with sticking newborns in a cot in a different room from a few days old and have ridiculous things like separation anxiety and families which hate each other are right.

I was also thinking about going a bed nest or something similar.

Thanks post, I didn't know there's a court case on civil marriage.

I had a little break down of my own. There's so much stuff to do in the house, but felt really tired and short of breath. I started panicking about not being in control of my body and the uncertainty of what will happen in the weeks to come. 19 weeks of pregnancy to go and I'm terrified I'm going to feel really bad or get ill (that damn low papp-a and the risk of high blood pressure makes this a lot worse).

I was crying into the washing up and my boyfriend kindly told me to rest and he'll take over. I felt bad for him though, doing extra work just because I'm a hormonal mess. And then the baby started kicking and I felt guilty towards him for struggling with being pregnant. I just want him to be okay.

This is hard!

Posy not post!

blamber, it's ok for it to be hard. You're growing a whole, working human being! Don't feel guilty or upset if it's difficult. If you think about what's actually happening in there, it's completely understandable that it makes you feel tired or stressed or worried. I'm glad your DP is taking care of you - you deserve it!

I am also a bit stressed. I want to make a start on a nursery, mainly painting etc. so it has plenty of time to settle and I can do the more active stuff (hanging curtains, steaming/washing carpet etc.) while I feel up to it. Unfortunately, we were supposed to hear whether we had the final go ahead for our new house last week and still haven't heard anything. The spare room in our current bungalow is pretty tiny and the new house has much more space, even in what will be the nursery room. I know what decor I'd like and have it all planned etc., but it's quite dependent on which sized room it'll be going in, as what I want would be too dark for the spare room here. It's stressing me out! Do I put up temporary wallpaper etc. in the spare room here and just give it a good scrub and save the 'proper' nursery decorating for the new house? Or do I assume that no news means it's bad news and we'll still be in this house, in which case I might as well do more permanent decorating? My DP keeps saying, 'Don't worry about it, it'll be fine' and it's making me want to scream - clearly I am worrying about it, you prat!

Phew. Sorry, had to vent the neurotic rage that's been building for the last couple of days.

22 weeks today. Eek! The leg cramps had vanished for a while, but made a return last night. Every time I go to stretch out my calves they suddenly seize up! Painful, but undoubtedly hilarious for DP when I rocket out of bed and hop around swearing like some kind of drunken peg-legged sailor

Silly washing blamber, think we need to get partners to do it if it's making us cry!

It sounds like we're all keen to get houses sorted out and ready at the moment.
I bought an A3 sized whiteboard and filled it with a list of house jobs that need doing last week, no mention of the nursery, that's coming after!
We have pulled up the lino in main bathroom to change that today and found a leak from the toilet so need to call a plumber tomorrow, that wasn't on my list :-(!!

23 weeks today, keep reading how baby is going to double in size over the next few weeks, worried about becoming less mobile!

brand - good stuff on getting your classes sorted.

Moggle and bunny - love that you were in the antenatal class together - an unplanned meet up without you even being aware of it!
twig - how likely is it that you will hear this week about new house?

for leg cramps - have you tried tonic water - swcheppes as it has quinine in it which is supposed to help....

blamber - it seems the hormones dont really give us much of a break. it can all feel so daunting and glad yr dp is understanding. you are doing a big job growing a human being and that is work in itself. x it seems most of us have the up and very down days.....

mrsdowney - surely it is up to you how you sleep and who you choose to tell surely?? who on earth will know what you decide!!!! its not like it is a compulsory check.

I thought the official advice was baby in same room as parents for 1st 6 months at least? i dont know anyone who put their newborn in another room from a few days old....

I guess it is another example of us all needing to do what we think is best for ourselves and our own family. I dont think if you dont co-sleep you will inevitably have a child with seperaion anxiety and a poor family relationship tho'. Some choose to co-sleep, some not. Some choose a moses basket, some choose a carry cot, some choose a hammock. some choose baby in with them every night, some choose it occasionally. some choose to cosleep initially, some continue it til their kids are 7 or 8. All different. its up to each set of parent(s) and their own lives, circumstances and family....

twiglet that sounds frustrating, hopefully you'll find out either way soon and can make a start on the decorating :-)

Petal - Impressed with yr whiteboard planning but not so with leaky loo. Bah!

No I didn't actually mean it like that weeonion, should have worded that better, was just me going off on a rant. I co slept with DD from day one and practiced attachment parenting which worked fantastically for us and the comments I've had for 8 years about it are just... It's a sore point and I'm already getting it again with this one. From the day I announced I was pg anyone and everyone has jumped to tell me how differently I need to do it this time, how much harder it's going to be with 2, how they WILL take the baby so I can "have a break" as if it's a chore being with my child and how I can't do this "stupid obsessive thing being with her 24/7" and I MUST do this or that and must NOT do something or other. Most of my NCT had them in their own rooms at 2 weeks after some draconian Gina Ford-esque routine and it was more of a priority to them to get them sleeping 7-7 asap, whereas I was very chilled about it all and never enforced any routines, we just went with the flow and apparently that's alien and somehow damaging. I can see why some mums need to do that if they're going back to work or have older ones who need to stick to their routines or just for their own sanity but it doesn't mean it's a better choice than my way. I'm so sick of hearing bullshit like "babies NEED a routine, ALL parents NEED a break, cosleeping WILL kill your baby, baby wearing WILL make them needy and WILL suffocate them blah blah". And unfortunately people do check up on things like sleeping arrangements, midwives and health visitors have a look, and the nanny state being what it is these days everyone seems to have an opinion and report anything and everything that is slightly different to social services who are just evil bastards frankly, I've seen them in action many times. It's actually easier for my sanity to pretend were doing it all the western way & by the book rather than the instinctual way the majority of the world uses and has used for thousands of years. I've learnt the hard way just lie, professionals don't like free thinkers.

Blamber I totally know what you mean about this pregnancy being daunting. I'm finding I start panicking at what's happening to my body, even though most of me says I love it, I still get moments where I think holy sh*t I'm not in control and it's only going to get more intensive.

I also have small panics about how a baby will change my life, and I feel bloody awful for thinking it. I panic about me and DP never being the same again, how life won't be mine anymore and I suddenly feel very trapped. Which is ludicrous because I've wanted kids for years and this pregnancy is such a blessing. I keep thinking why am I having these thoughts??? I should be so so so thrilled. It's like my brain is arguing with itself.
This is mostly why I haven't been able to buy anything, because then its 10 times more real. However since I found out she's a girl I've tried to get more into it and buying some things from a nearly new sale today was exciting, so I'm hoping i'm coming to terms with it. And I want to protect her with all my being so that makes me feel better.

I think it just scares me because I never thought I could have these silly thoughts so I'm worried in case I get PND, I hate not being in control of your own thoughts!!!

Am I an awful person or has anyone else felt this overwhelmed at times?

Amy it's not just you. I go from feelings of jubilation to panic and worry about exactly the same things as you. I hope it's just a natural consequence of such a massive change and it will all go away once our beautiful girls are here

I also worry that I'm not going to get everything sorted in time. Please cross your fingers that we'll find some where that's not covered in mould and has central heating and proper insulation before my due date or I might refuse to leave the hospital :/

On a less practical note I worry about how I'll find time for dp and dsd as well the house chores and me time around a newborn. I desperately want to make sure dsd isn't pushed out but I get so snappy when I'm tired and just want to do things the easy way and I worry I'll end up hiding in the bedroom with the baby :/

Me too. My last pg was so lovely and I was so happy and chilled and was the perfect age, married to a Dr, in a lovely house & nice area, everyone saw it as good news, this time I'm older, single, I worry about whether DD is really happy about this or just being polite and if it's right for her, no one seems really happy about it, and this time is so much harder than last time, I feel like shit, I'm miserable, I worry whether the recovery will be harder being older, now I've got used to having my own life back will it be harder to get back into being a 24/7 mummy again, I worry a lot about being judged and interference from others, to the extent I know I'm not doing everything I should be were I not worried about judgement or interference, and much as I do not want any man again, I never want to be in a relationship and never want another father around again, I'm finding myself wishing I had a partner around, though I know that's just hormones and if I had one I'd want to kill him and would make both our lives hell. But to be honest the sooner this pg is over the better, it sucks and I'm so over it already. only 16 more weeks to go...! Not that I'm counting or anything...

Amy you are not the only one!
It is overwhelming and I think I've been in denial so far. It is natural to wonder how life is going to be different, I have always been worried about that and still be able to be 'me' and not just a mum. I'm even more worried now that there will be two of them in a few months. I've been able to keep working and play in a sports team a couple of days a week with one child so hope I can keep it all up with two. I am lucky that DH usually gives me an hour off on a Sunday (they went to the woods for a walk yesterday) and I get to paint my nails/have a coffee/read a book! I am worried about being trapped but I also try to tell myself that it's not for forever and before we know it they will be at school and we won't have a choice if we want them around all of the time or not!
Having a baby has made mine and DH's relationship better, not worse so don't worry about that. We appreciate each other more, recognise what we do for each other and because of that when we do spend time together we really appreciate it.

Don't want anyone else being worried but it's so nice to hear you all having the same fears! The no control over my body is really freaky, the hospital process terryifying, and dealing with two and keeping them both happy and feeling loved seems almost impossible at the moment
And completely get all the the will my house be sorted fears!

wow - dontcha just love those scandinavians......
www.viralforest.com/finland-maternity-box/

I saw an article on the BBC news website about those last week weeonion, they look great! Apparently they can opt for cash instead but the items in the box are worth much more. In the article it said that the babies then sleep in the boxes as well rather than a Moses basket!

How nice to hear everyone's freaking out and being all stressed! So reassuring to me!

I have somehow gotten myself a roster of working 4 X 13 hr shifts in 5 days as they happen to straddle two different weeks and I stupidly didn't realise. Thats 52 hours from last Sat to this Wednesday! My poor body! Thank God my pelvis is ok so far.

I have counted that I have 8 wks till Mat leave, (and I have two wks holiday) so thats 6 weeks X 3 long shifts per wk = only 18 full days to go! I can do that!!!

petal - it is a fab idea and the stuff is all gender neutral. what do we get - a cruddy bounty bag full of commercialised twaddle! i havent bothred signing up to any baby clubs etc this time round. I just remember getting innundated with vouchers and mail afterwards. I still get tghe Boden catalogue despite having told them numerous times to remove me from list and that i never bought a single thing from them!
Hardly surprising from the Finns though - I used to work there many years ago and loved their attitudes towards families, children, childcare etc...

A bit envious of all the mat leave chat - I am due on 25th oct and last working day is the ..... 24th october so excluding a weeks hol in spain at end of the month, i have 60 days left..... gah!!!!!!

I've done a new thread.

link to new thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2132575-November-2014-thread-7?msgid=48275878#48275878

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