November 2012 - the boringly named fifth thread

[Stuntnun]

Previous threads:

1. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1412456-Nov-12-babies
2. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1432039-Due-in-November-2012-part-deux-no-cringy-thread-name-here
3. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1438916-November-2012-Duebies-Part-3-insert-cheesy-name-of-choice-here
4. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1449640-November-2012-bring-on-the-second-trimester

So, there was a fight in the school corridor. I tried to prevent a sibling wading in... The 2 other members of staff were more worried about me getting hurt than the kids or themselves (bless 'em) & one of the parents of the most violent kid has accused us of 'standing around doing nothing'!! Go figure...

FFS chunkychicken

Don't you just hate it when you bring a tin of soup to work only to find out it isn't one of those ring pool openings.. thanks sainsburys.. I don't have tin opener on me! I'm starving

The next thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1479016-November-2012-time-for-gender-guessing

Gutted, on nights for the next 4 now :( I'm already bunged up to high hell. Nights only make it worse!!

Am trying to enjoy the last few hours of sun I may see all year! Tea is being cooked as we speak, and the garden prepared for eating it in

Chunky I'd be sticking pins in a voodoo doll by now, dribbling in a corner at my efforts not to tell her to go fuck off to the high side of fuck. Idiot.

Shelly People have asked me if it was planned too. It's no one elses bees wax really, is it?! Yeah, it was planned, 2 weeks after the event!! As it was, we did plan it, for a long long time. But I'm having fun winding people up with it.

Luckily no one has mentioned my 'bump' yet, possibly because I was fat to start with or maybe I just give them the 'look' so they don't even bother! I'm going to have to get some scrubs to wear in work tonight. I'm quite sure my uniform isn't going to contain the wriggler, the extra fat, and the night bloat.

Just had a massive row with DP and he said some awful things including that he doesn't care about the baby. I'm so upset

I don't think he means it. I think it was in the heat of the moment but it's unforgivable to me. I don't know where we go from here.

apple I am so sorry to hear that, how can he be so insensitive?!
I'm sure he didn't mean it, we all say horrible things when we're angry.
Still that is very unfair of him, poor you :(

Can you resolve things?

-hug-

Apple, this is a mega quick reply as im supposed to be getting ready for work.

Whatever the row was about, it doesn't matter, rows happen, it will be resolved. Pregnancy is a highly stressful and emotional time for both partners. It doesn't excuse what he has said but perhaps he is feeling stressed as things progress? Take some time to cool down. Have a little big cry. Then talk things through.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand how awful you must feel right now. I'll check back in later tonight and see how you are doing xxx sure some other ppl will be along with lots more useful advice soon x

apple he would have said this to hurt you, not because he meant it. He will so regret saying it. Hope you soon have a chance to make up x

It scares me that a thought like that would even cross his mind. I'm not interested in talking to him until he apologises and he hasn't yet.

Not defending it in any way apple but men don't tend to care about the baby in the same way we do at the start... I also agree with Valium that he prob only said it to be hurtful (& it worked!) but you're right, he should apologise. I will say though also say that pregnancy is difficult for both parties, physically & emotionally for Mum & emotionally for Dad, this causes rows, which seem even more significant because of the pregnancy (kinda catch-22/chicken & egg scenario going on there) but the vast majority of people get through it without serious issue with their relationship. Try to have a proper talk when you're both calm & collected. Good luck x

I know how much it hurts when you feel as though they say something they shouldn't have even considered saying in the first place, and I agree with waiting for him to apologise, he needs to realise how much he's hurt you (most men don't realise)
I really hope you manage to sort things out though, just keep in mind that like detective said, pregnancy is a very stressful time, god knows how many times me and my DP have argued in the last 4 months!
It will get better :)

He's gone back to work now until 11 and said he doesn't know if he's coming back. I'm sat here still crying. It's going to be a long night.

Sorry but that last comment 'that he doesn't know if he's coming back' - would drive me nuts but trying to put a rational head on (easier if it's not your own situation I'll admit!) it sounds like someone is going thru the male pregnancy hormonal roller coaster. Don't sit and cry hon - go to bed and look after you and the belly dweller until he has time to calm down and come to his senses. Don't chase him or be hormonal or dramatic - it sounds like he's doing that at the mo' and as you say is saying the worst possible things to hurt you - be calm and let him realise what a dumbass he's been and how what he has said is entirely unacceptable. Go to bed my dear, it'll seem better in the morning too - sweet dreams all xxxxx

And in the morning - if he's unrepentant - go batshit with the strength of a full night's sleep under your belt

apple hope all is ok. I'm sorry he's upset you. I would be very upset too. Good advice from the other ladies. If it is any consolation, throughout my first pregnancy my DH and I argued horribly and viciously a lot. We both said horrible and unforgivable things to each other. We have managed to argue less this time round, but we still have our moments. Try not to let it upset you too much - easier said than done. Big hug and I hope you get some sleep tonight and an apology from your DP.

apple that sounds tough. But I agree with YW - try and get some sleep, so you've got a clearer head to deal with it all in the morning - easier said than done, I know.
It's probabley baby nerves showing through?

How are things this morning Apple? Hope he has apologised profusely by now.

As suspected, the bloat/wind is quite spectacular. I've had to put scrubs on and look at least 28 weeks about now. Feck.

Also hoping you're ok this morning apple, and that he's apologised for what he said. Let us know how things are x

Apple hope you're ok. Dh was horrid to me last night too. I told him I'd not said anything like what he was suggesting!! I went off to agility and while he's quiet I also know none of his issues are my doing. See what happens but he's probably scared and acting like a school boy. Chin up don't let him get to you and look after the bump. Life goes on even if you want it to stop!!

I hope things went well apple.
Evil

Hope you are ok today apple

Big hugs apple I hope things are better today.

Really feeling for you apple - saying he may not be back is incredibly hurtful, childish, and worrying. I hope you have a chance to talk things through, how he feels about the baby, and you, and how much he hurt you. Also take time to think about how you feel about him - you need to feel safe and secure in your relationship, now more than ever - you do not want to be wondering every day if he will leave, and if he really wants to be there at all. I do hope you work things through. This is a busy thread, and there is the wider MN if you need to talk - there will always be someone awake and willing to listen or hold your hand x x x