November 2011 - more hand holding, scans and 2nd trimester chat coming up.....

[Katiebeau]

New thread chatty girls.......

Cep sorry your OH is being such a dick- is he on his period?

Dirge excellente lady, all sounds fab. Good to hear a lovely scan story, gives me hope!

This week I am mostly drinking lots of milk and eating ice lollies. Left work early today and am now home alone, with glass of the white stuff and the crimson and the petal on sky plus. Brill.

blue what did you put in glass to make pink fizzy 'wine'?

cep i definitely don't think men get it sometimes too!! That sounds like something my DH would do if he were stressed about money and just not voice it in a good/reasonable way. Hope you can get a free scan from your GP (or else we can count down the days to our scans together - mine is May 3rd - I'll be almost 13 weeks)

bluetinkerbell I got a call from a maternity clinic too saying I had an appointment on April 28th?! Apparently my gp had reffered me but not told me... oh well:)

cep, I know what you mean about feeling like its ages until the scan, mine is booked for 10th of May, and I am totally freaking out about having to wait that long. I had a miscarriage right before I got pregnant again, so am constantly worrying that the baby has died or is going to die again. I went to my doctor to try and get an early scan, but he said that I can't have one on the NHS because I haven't got any reason to believe things are going wrong, and even if they were, a scan wouldn't change anything! Its only 9 weeks since my miscarriage, so I am still finding it a bit hard to accept this pregnancy, but I have known for 5 weeks, so it feels like an absolute age to wait another 4.

I'm a teacher, and was really hoping to have a scan to show the kids when I go back after the holidays, they realised I was upduffed in the last week of term because I kept leaving lessons to be sick! You can't hide much from teenagers, and I didn't like to lie to them.. It felt like if I said I wasn't pregnant, it would come true... kind of like reverse tempting fate. Now I'm scared that I'm going to have to tell them all I miscarried, its not fair to put them through that, whether I have to go through it or not.

No amount of puking is convincing me that its ok, but I'm off on holiday to Iceland on Saturday for a week with my MIL. She doesn't know yet, and part of me is excited to tell her, because I know she'll be over the moon, but I'm still worried...

Wow that was a rant, when all I meant to do was empathise with cep!

Awww cep why's he being so mean :(

I felt really dispondant after my first MW appointment she was just covering someone on holiday I wasn't really asked anything, just talked at while she rushed around finding papers and was just given a bunch of papers and sent off saying that GP would have referred me for scan, which I found out he hadn't because he was a locum. So I really feel know the wiser about what's going on or anything! :(

folic i think he has 1 week pre-mt 1 week mt and 1 week post-mt.

gold if i don't get one tomorrow i'll have one on tuesday. hopefully dr has faxed the form, he initially told me to pick it up, but she wanted it faxed, i did tell him so. we'll see.

lizzy I know how you feel, i had one in dec, that's one of the reasons i go a bit overboard with worry everytime i get a bit of blood. i had none with ds, a little with mc'd pg and comparitively (sp?) loads with this one. oooh enjoy iceland.

h007 cause he's an ass. problem is we can't afford it, and he had problems with ex last night causing stupid arguments. so he was already in a bad mood. I'm sorry 1st mw appt was a let down, i assume it wasn't the booking in one, cause they ask loads of questions and take blood etc. do you have that appt time yet?

Yay for great scan news, dirge

Cep, hope the scan comes through soon.

Still puking here and looking huge!

Hi guys, just got back from a week at a campsite near Alton Towers - the kids had a blast and we had to tell them why I couldn't go on any of the rides so they are totally excited now and talking about the new baby.

I am really tired all the time but no sickness, got a huge tummy already tough and it seems much bigger by the end of the day for some reason!

I had to miss my midwife's appointment as it was slap in the middle of our already booked holiday and I wasn't missing that. The woman at the clinic was really off when I rang up to see if it could be changed and said if I didn't go I would miss all my diagnostic tests and my scan and everything! I said as it was my third I wasn't that bothered really, which shut her up, I think she was trying to scare me into going to the appointment.

So she managed to fit me in next week and therefore apparently I will be allowed to go to my dating scan although even though she knows the date of it she couldn't tell it to me as the midwife has to tell me! So no idea if it will be convenient or not.

Glad to see scans coming through - makes it all more real doesn't it?

cep it was suppose to be a booking in appointment had bloods taken that was about all.

bbm glad you had a good holiday.

hoo7 oh blooming heck, i'd mention it when you see your proper mw.

MrsA I negotiated the price. I am still have my tests and screening done by the NHS so it's technically a birth only package but she comes and visits monthly for 2-3 hours, then weekly from 37 weeks and has thrown in at least 2 post natal visits too for £1,500. Oh and obviously the birth, with her and at least one other midwife, possibly 2. Her usual price is £3k but I am not sure how much extra you'd get for that. I spoke to two midwives who basically offered me a similar package and price (the other minus postnatal). Don't you live near me (Cheshire)? I can PM you the details of the other MW?

I have announced my pregnancy of Facebook . It's such a relief actually.

Cep my DH actually becomes very inconsiderate towards me when I am pregnant. This has been the first pregnancy where he has 'got' it and realised that I am tired, sick, anxious and need support (hence the no argument on the indie midwife that we don't know how we'll pay for yet...). I put it down to him not really thinking of me as pregnant until he sees something - a bump or a scan or even feels something. He was so awful during my mmc that between the dreadful scan confirming the mmc and my D&C I had decided to divorce him. I think some of it was hormones and being so down about the baby but he didn't help himself at all. He was a total, unsupportive arse. So I'm not making excuses for your dh, if you say he's being an ass then I believe you. I am just saying I can understand. I know it's not the same but we're here for you and we understand. Have some of these (((())))) and these xx.

BusyBoysMum that's ridiculous. She sounds like a right jobsworth. I bet she could have told you, what kind of pointless-waste-of-a-midwifes-time is that?? The scan was lovely, I was just so relieved that it was baby shaped this time (well, that and it was alive onviously).

My morning sickness has been fantastic today or not really there. I hope I am not tempting fate by saying that....

Evening all,

I said hello on the last thread and have just been lurking and reading everything that's been going on. You're such a lovely lot and it's very reassuring to read it.

Cep Men just don't get it sometimes. I hope he's realised he's been moody and is making it up to you.

Dirge I can't wait to announce on FB. 2 of my best friends at work guessed today and I couldn't hide it. They were really excited but i just worry about tempting fate by telling too many people.

I haven't had any real syptoms apart from extreme tiredness which makes me feel like nothing's going on. Like everyone I can't wait / am dreading the scan because of what might happen. I also get dull period pain like aches everyone now and again but really hoping that it's just a sign that things are going OK.

Roll on the weekend!

I'd like to add my husband to the occasional prize numptie club. He's been very offhand about this pregnancy, more so because it was a shock to him, but like last time he refuses - utterly refuses to read any book about pregnancy or how the baby is growing week by week. He's a sodding pHd doctor and biologist but this project just doesn't interest him. Then bores me rigid about how abstract the pregnancy is for him and how hard it is to make it real for him. 'Um how about making it a little less abstract then by finding out more'. Plus he just loves telling a pregnant woman how tired he is. Sigh.
Anyway all this talk of scans and booking in appointments has made me decide to ring my midwife team tomorrow. I was told on March 29th I'd hear within three weeks the date of my scan and booking appt which is supposed to be within 8-10 weeks. Well hellooooo I'm 10 weeks next week and have heard bugger all. Am not feeling too confident about this midwife team given they also sent me to the wrong hospital for my EPU scan. Oh and I really want to feel confident in them because I want my VBAC.

knocked up - I have implants too, mine took me from a AA to an E but they were put under the skin so I can see the implant a little bit. They are very pert :) but I like it and they suit my frame. There growing loads though so who knows what they'll look like after wards, though if they need replacing I think Id get unders in and the pear shaped implants.

I love push chairs, sadly I sold my bugaboo on ebay about a week before I found out I was pregnant! Think the M&P sola is looking good though.

Im lucky on the mw front as my little sis is one so shes more then happy to prod away, though she says she wont 'borrow' a doppler when ever I want. If we get the go ahead from her hospital were hoping she'll be able to deliver this one. Shes going to have a feel tomorrow as Im obsessed over how big my bumps getting! Its hard at the bottom and its bump shaped rather then flab. Dates cant be wrong though so the only other thing could be twins (or Im in denial about having belly fat for the first time in my life). Have my mw appointment on wednesday then another 2 weeks at least till scan as Im only 9 weeks today.

poppet my DH refuses to read any sort of parenting book as well, but then asks me "do you brush the baby's teeth?" and the like all the time!

dirge forgot to say I'm glad your scan went well! I would love to announce pg on facebook but waiting until next scan... think I've spilled the beans to most of my close friends though.

Imbrian I have really gotten thick around the waist and now have a little tummy (but it changes size) and is definitely bigger at night. Do twins run in your family?

Just found out that one of our RL friends is pg too, pretty close in date to me. They have had a tough road though. Makes me feel very thankful, but also worried since ect and mmc are so common... trying not to stress about it. But I am counting the days to my next scan and focusing on the fact that tons of people have babies...

Well... Started catching up from yesterday evening, and even started making notes so I could reply to everyone... But got a bit lost! Katie well done starting a new and exciting thinking about 2nd trinmester but don't think well get there on just one thread!!

Ali and mash and the likes, please don't be so down waiting for scans! If nothing bad has happened there's no reason it shouldn't be ok!

Caz did you see the coverage on the news this morning? Thought of you, and thought it was good to have some coverage of the issue, but thought they focused a lot on saying it was overweight smokers and drinkers who suffer stillbirths, when actually so many are unexplained!

Well done on scan dirge, and announcement! Can't wait to announce! Not sure whether ill go the facebook route though! May just tell the important people and let news trickle through to others, it won't be long till facebook picks up the news I'm sure!

Still waiting for scan date, might ring mw monday as only really have one week window between 12 and 13 as from 13 weeks I have to go to aberdeen for 2 weeks! :(

Night all x

staceroo yeah I've seen the news today. I think it is fab it is being covered, but like you say the coverage could be better. Isn't that always the way?! latching onto smokers and drinkers - although yes are higher risk groups - are not the only groups. If you look at the high risk catergories I for example are in none of them. I was 25 (26 now), normal weight for my height, BMI fine, never smoked, didn't drink at all when pregnant, no other underlying health problems etc etc. I think the unexplained proprotion (which is a fair number, we are one of those) could've had far better coverage. But there we are. Hopefully the Lancet report will raise much needed awareness, bring about any changes that need to happen and reduce the numbers.

I have sort of 'gone public' to a certain extent now too. I'm about 11 1/2 weeks, but I had to announce in work because I wear a uniform, and could hardly button it up anymore, and I really needed to move into my own clothes for comfort. Plus, I can go for weeks without seeing my boss in person, so when she popped into the office yesterday, I had to take a deep breath and tell her. It felt like such a weight off my mind, to be honest. No one had guessed, but when I told, a few people did say that I seemed to be eating constantly recently , so I'm glad they know now that I wasn't just being super greedy, that there was a reason for it all!

But I have heard nothing at all from the hospital about a first scan or booking in appt with midwife or anything. Plus, I was talking to a friend today who had a baby a few weeks ago and she was telling me that in our area you are no longer allowed to choose a hospital or consultant or anything, you just get referred to your nearest one and thats that. My nearest hospital terrifies me. I had a bad experience there first time round, and there have been a couple of maternal deaths there in the past couple of years which the inquests found were entirely due to negligence, and to top it all off, its filthy. Its like the third world - when I had DD, there were women in beds in the walkway down the middle of the ward (no privacy), because there weren't enough beds, and its worse now, because they closed another maternity unit and transferred the workload to this hospital. Plus, on the privacy front, everyone I know who has had a baby there recently has told me that they have a rule on the ward that you are not allowed to pull the curtains round your bed for privacy, at any time of the day or night, not even if you are trying to get started breastfeeding. Curatins are only allowed to be pulled by the staff, for examinations. It sounds like prison, not hospital!

Oooh, that was a long post, but I wanted to get that all off my chest!

Snoozle, that hospital sounds dire! Could you kick up a huge fuss and get referred elsewhere?

Proper nervous now and scan isn't til 2...

snoozle you cannot go there! It sounds bloody awful. I am certain they cannot force you to go there. Speak to your midwife and if that gets you nowhere then speak to the SOM.

stace FB approach was like ripping off a plaster - quick and effective. I did get sick of the emails, texts and notifications though and turned my phone off in the end. Another friend is having her 12 week scan today so hopefully I'm yesterday's news now .

Good luck Ali didn't realise you were today!

Sorry xposts Ali! Afternoon scans do nothing for your nerves do they? Good luck, will be thinking of you and looking out for updates!! x

I was feeling a bit panicked and negative when I posted all that last night. The things I said about the hospital are all true, but I suppose I have to balance that against the fact that everyone I know had their babies there and have lived to tell the tale........I had an emcs and lost a lot of blood with DD and needed a blood tranfusion. They forgot to give it to me, but one of the staff had filled out my notes in advance, so it was only picked up on a week later, when someone mentioned in passing about my blood transfusion, and I told them that I knew nothing about any blood transfusion. But it was in the notes, and the notes couldn't possibly be wrong . Also, I was in the delivery room for about 14 hours before emcs, and the midwife on duty sat with her back to me, hunched over her monitor and ignored me for most of the time, I was made to feel that trying to deliver a baby whilst she was trying to work was the most terrible inconvenience to her. On the plus side, the consultants were lovely, and most of the midwives were too, but they were just so far stretched and overworked.

I am going to raise all this with the midwife at my booking in appt, because my heart pounds with fear just thinking about it. I know the hospital has had a lot of bad publicity due to the deaths there (one mum died because they had her on a self administered pain relief drip which hadn't been set to cut off at a maximum dose, so she unknowingly overdosed. the other mum died from a blood clot on her lungs which was dismissed by staff with the cheery words 'this is the NHS love, you don't get one to one care in here'. This was all reported and admitted to at the inquest, so I'm confident its not the rumour mill) so I'm really hoping that changes have been made in response.

wish me luck!

Alicat10 - me too. 3 15pm. Nuchal today. Arrggghhh. I wasn't this neurotic with DD, this pregnancy I am terrified something will go amiss.

Got to eat more today though. I brought on horrid morning and motion sickness myself yesterday by not eating enough and getting low blood sugar. DH fed me a fudge bar as soon as he came home with DD and within 20 minutes I felt much better. I felt so stupid. Why didn't I think of eating??? !!

Good luck Ali

Snoozle - my experience of our hospital was the same except the MWs were lovely. The rest was horrendous and the overall care disjointed with a lack of thought adding up one finding to another which led to problems. Everyone too manic in the NHS, overstretched etc. That said their BF support was excellent too. So some good, some bad.

We only got pregnant this time because we had the money to go private from an unexpected bonus. I have quite a list of things this time I would not accept again intervention wise and to be honest the NHS around here isn't built to cope with "fussy" Mummys like me!! That said I have seen my NHS midwife as they want me on the system in case of emergency (makes sense). She was a massive HB fan but after going through what happened last time she shocked me by saying, "seriously consider an ELCS, you have some really good reasons to insist. If you don't go private I would back you all the way"!!!

I'm going private to maximise my chance of natural without intervention but it depends on so many things.