November 2011 - more hand holding, scans and 2nd trimester chat coming up.....

[Katiebeau]

New thread chatty girls.......

Interesting birth stories ladies. Hope now first timers are too put off. You really have no way of knowing how it will go until it happens so please don't worry about it. The only thing I wish I had know was that if a baby is back to back there are better ways to turn it than crawling on your hands and knees for 5 minutes a day. Spending less time laying down or leaning back on sofas for example, and more time sitting leaning forwards with your bump between your knees. This is for much later on though.

Other than DS1 being back to back during labour it was actually not a bad first time experience. The MW was lovely and luckily there was no shift change so I had her till the end. I didn't need any pain relief as labour was not progressing. I did relent and have pethidine when I was 8 or 9 cm dilated but shortly after (possibly because of the pethidine) the baby went into foetal distress and I had to have an EMCS. On the operating table I was 10cm dilated and looking back I probably could have given natural birthing a go but I was too tried by then and just pleaded for the anaesthetist. lol. All in all it wasn't how I had hoped, it never crossed my mind that I would need a CS, but it was a pretty good experience none-the-less.

With DS2 I had a successful VBAC and I don't think it could have gone much differently. The only things I would change if I could would be the fact that I had the belt on continuously and it made the contractions much more painful and I wasn't able to be on all fours as they lost the heartbeat. (It was there they just couldn't find it ) and I had an episiotomy. I fully consented to this though as the MW said the baby would be another 10minutes without it which in hindsight wouldn't have been a bad thing. The episiotomy was not painful in itself, neither was the stitching up or the healing really. I couldn't comfortably sit on the wound for about a week after but I never had any problems with it. And poss TMI but it DID NOT hurt when I peed! DS2's birth was a positive experience though with the outcome that I wanted.

I am praying that I do not need the belt on throughout this time and I will be making sure no one moves me to lay on my back. Although to be fair even DH thought I was going to fall off the top off the bed with DS2. lol

Hope everyone gets the choice they want this time round and lovely MW's.

Glad that scans have gone well today x x

Ok, I'm really sorry that I started the birth horror stories, I should be focusing on the positives here, and its months away anyway. Plus, I'd hate to find that I have turned into one of those women who delights in scaring other women, that wasn't my intention at all. Nearly everyone I know had pretty straightforward births, and I know I was just unlucky with some things.

Someone said earlier that they can't force me to go to a particular hospital, is that true? I mean, if they say 'no, this is the only hospital we can refer you to' then I'm kind of stuck.....I'm going to go off and do some research. I'm in N. Ireland and as everyone knows, we are about 400 years behind the rest of the UK in more or less everything. I don't think patient choice, or treating women as adults are concepts that have reached us yet. I'm amazed we are even allowed pain relief, there are a lot of people here who haven't moved much past childbirth being a woman's punishment for her transgressions

evening ladies,

congrats on the good scan news. i've got my next one on tuesday to check all ok after bleed on thursday.

some of those stories are awful, i really hope you manage to get the birth you want this time.

mine was actually ok, funny at parts, i was in the water bath thing which had a slow leak so had to be topped up every now and then, and as water room, couldn't have anything electrical in there so there was a wind up radio which dh took on himself as his job to keep wound up, even while i was contracting. to the comment of forget the f-ing radio. the worst bit was tear and stitching, but after a couple of days peeing into water so wee didn't hurt, the pain went.

Has been great reading through some of your previous experiences of birth!!

1st timers please don't be put off - I was told a lot of horror stories during my 1st pg but had a very positive experience.

At 41 weeks pg I was sent in to be induced due to Very high BP (??pre-eclamp). On arriving on the ward the monitor was put on only for me to be told that I was contracting regularly on examination was found to be 2-3cm (I really had no idea and didn't feel a thing ). Went to delivery suite where the lovely MW ruptured my membranes (after full explanation!!) then new lovely MW, minimal pain relief & 6.5 hours later (just over an hour of pushing & Dr coming in to discuss interventions if nothing happened in 30mins) DS made an appearence - back to back, cord round neck and fist to face superman style. Despite his awkardness in positioning the MW gave me clear instructions re: pushing and prevented me from tearing to everyones suprise :)
The only thing that I would have liked to have done differently was not spend so much time on my back but due to them wanting to monitor baby that was the only option to ensure they kept the heartbeat on the monitor.

It has been nice thinking back to that time after today. Today has been very much reminicing about the past. It was my Nana's funeral and all went well; DS was very well behaved, he broke down in tears when we left the Church as he didn't want to say good-bye :( My auntie told all the family about pg, I didn't mind as most know but seemed strange to have people congratulating me today. My Nana died 2 days before I was going to see her to tell her about pg, so we announced the names that we have decided on if it a boy & if it a girl as we are using my Nana's name as baby's middle name if it is a girl (my Grandad cried when he heard, he was so touched). The family are all hoping for a girl - though a healthy baby is top priority - as 3 young boys needs some girls to start bringing about some balance.

Anyway, sorry to be sad at the end of my post, has been great to have this group to read to distract me a little... am now off to eat some more Chocolate (the brown vegetable that is better for you than fruit juice!!)

snoozle if your MW won't let you book in with another hospital then it might be worth doing your research as to where you want to go & turn up to the one of your choice once you are in labour - they aren't really able to turn you away if you are there (unless they a full to capacity and closed to new ladies!!) It isn't an ideal situation but may be less stressful than going to a hospital you really don't feel comfortable or safe going to!!

bumpandisaacsmum I like your idea! Problem is, I don't think I 'get' a midwife! Unless things have changed since I had DD 5 years ago.....from what I can remember, you see GP for antenatal care and only attend outpatients for the scans. It was slightly different for me first time round, as I was ill and hospitalised for parts of my pregnancy, but if it hadn't been for that, I wouldn't have set foot in the hospital until I went into labour, as they take no part in the antenatal care - even the outpatients appointments and scans weren't at the actual hospital, if you see what I mean, they were held at another hospital site which only does outpatients, not inpatients. If I hadn't been admitted to hospital, I don't think I would have clapped eyes on a midwife for my whole pregnancy.

Do you other ladies on here have 'your own' midwife throughout your pregnancy, as in, do you see the same person regularly?

Snoozle. I don't think they can force you to be treated anywhere. If you were on holiday the other side of the country when you went into labour then you would have to go to a local hospital and not the one you were referred to.

If I were you I would:

1. Request to be referred to the hospital of your choice.
2. If you are met with a refusal contact the hospital of your choice and ask if you can refer yourself as you don't want to give birth at the other hospital.
3. If both the above fail to get a compliant response make it clear that in that case you will be turning up at the hospital of your choice when you go in to labour.

The only problem I can see is with Number 3 if you need to be induced or monitored towards the end of your pregnancy you might end up back in the bad hospital anyway.

Just be very clear in what you want and don't just accept what you are told first off, as often with a few questions it may turn out that it isn't impossible to refer you somewhere else but that it is not usually done, they don't like to, they need to even out numbers etc. I am sure they would rather you give birth in a hospital you are happy in than stay at home and leave it too late to get to a hospital and end up giving birth without a HCP. (which is what I would do if they tried to force me to give birth somewhere I wasn't happy with!)

snoozle whether through gp or mw if you are told you have to go to that hospital for delivery then there is nothing they can do if you turn up at a different one... It is really hard to go against the confines of what healthcare professionals say/ advise but it is better to go against the grain if you will be happier & more comfortable as it is your body, birth & baby!! FX'd you manage to sort it out without too much hassle, good luck x x

I've just realised that my previous post might not have made much sense, because on the one hand I'm saying that I had no appts at the hospital, and didn't meet any midwives prior to the birth (except for the fact that I was an inpatient, which was sort of separate) but on the other, that that was 'my' hospital, the one I was booked into. Arrrggh! Maybe I just don't have a clue how a normal antenatal care actually works, because I didn't have it first time round.

Right, you ladies have made me all positive, I'm going to stand up and not just accept what is thrown at me. One last complication is that I might need to have elcs, in which case turning up at another hospital won't quite work!! But I'm going to be positive, do my research and not go anywhere that I'm unhappy with. Must stop worrying and being negative, must stop worrying and being negative....

I remember my sister telling me that she had met a lady at the Dublin ferryport who had missed her ferry back to the UK and was now most definitely in labour. Obviously had been cutting it fine in the first place.

My sister directed her to the Dublin hospital where she herself had given birth. I'm sure they didn't turn her away!

I've just missed out all the birth stories - sorry! Thought it would be easier as I don't want another thing tro freak out about, which is unusual as I'm normally a forewarmed is forearmed kinda woman...but think a little ignorance is bliss for me

Can I second that I'm not the sort of person that revels in telling horror birth stories. The vast vast majority of women have great labour and birth. I think on MN the sort of women here will use it to vent worries and concerns.

Please don't be put off, even the worst births generally end up with a healthy baby. Information helps you know what is right for you.

just dug out my maternity clothes from ds4. Was very disappointed in how little there was.
Thought there were loads more and it's a bad month for us financially so can't even go shopping.

What an awful day we are having here. DS1 woke up and had a nose bleed. DS2 woke up and threw up everywhere. I have been giving him sips of water to drink but even that isn't staying down. He doesn't seem very ill. He is still playing but every so often he will scream and hold his belly or his left side. He is asleep now but is moaning in pain in his sleep. I wish there was something I could do but I know that no medication will stay down.

And to top it of I have been being sick all morning too.

I hope my birth stories didn't put anyone off or upset anyone. I was hoping that after some of the more scary ones that mine would be more positive. I certainly don't think of them as horror stories anyway.

Sorry for the self indulgent post. I hope everyone is ok today and enjoying the sun. We can't cos DS2 is ill.

Hi all!

Birth Stories My heart goes out to all the traumatic birth stories. Mine was ok, but long as DD was back to back. Short version = contractions slowed at 7cm, tried breaking my waters but didn't kick start contractions. Put on syntocin but I didn't let them whack it up until I'd had an epidural. DD born after 40mins of pushing and was correct way round.

I understand if first timers want to miss out reading the birth stories. I personally do not want a home birth. I feel more relaxed in a hospital where I am near drugs if I need them. Also the maternity ward (tho noisey) was great as the midwives were only a push button away. DD had problems feeding (she was muscousy and very sleepy) so I needed more time/experience with the midwives to help us. She was also born at 10.30pm at night and DH was sent home after 2 hours. I went up onto the ward thinking 'what do I do now!' whilst looking down at DD. Didn't sleep v well as kept checking she was still breathing

rightontime hope your afternoon improves!

Sorry for no more shout outs but have only scanned the last page.

Sad news today - I found out that while I was at my scan yesterday 1 of my best friends from childhood finally lost her long battle with cancer :(

Oh alicat I am so :(
Puts things into perspective somewhat.

DD been ill today. Threw up about an hour ago but now seems right as rain. I heaved a bit but didn't join her!

alicat, what a sad thing to hear, hope you are bearing up and your friend's family have loads of support at the moment.

DH and I went out for the day, wandered around Linlithgow Castle with the dogs, but I really can't manage to buzz around as much as I did before already. I was however looking at all the buggies around the place to see what they were!!!

Well, evening all. I had a wee gush of bright red blood early this afternoon then absolutely nothing since and no pain so I'm adopting a lalalalalalala not thinking about it approach in my head.

Is this foolhardy I wonder?

folic I had the same on Thursday, but then I've been having mixtures of pink/brown every day since almost 2 weeks! try not to think about it indeed! no pain should mean it's all good!

Cheers blue I am determined not to panic. Amongst other things I cannot bear to call EPU again- I've already had two scans and my proper scan is in 2.5 weeks.

Still...there's always that niggling doubt isn't there...

oooh definitely folic I know sooo well what you mean, luckily my scan is on Thursday so not so long a wait anymore... I'm just trusting on what they said at EPU that as long as it isn't lots and lots of blood it is ok.

alicet I am so sorry to hear about your friend. >

Am with everyone who says a little blood is OK. I have had brown blood for the last 2 weeks albeit only a slight leakage and I am just going to sit tight till the nuchal scan.

Another one with brown spotting this morning. I basically sat on the toilet all morning freaking out. between 7-9 there was quite a bit every time I wiped (sorry for tmi), then less and less until there was none around 12.

I had this with Belle at 13, 14 and 15 weeks too but that was more pink/red.

Feeling uneasy, like you said folic that niggling doubt. but I know spotting is really common and doesn't need me to panic anymore than I already have. You can imagine how freaked out I am now that I've been spotting and still not really being sick. Was randomly sick yesterday morning but that was the first time since 9+1.

It is so frustrating having no control over anything. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in October ready to be induced. I have a feeling my emotional health is going to become more and more neurotic if todays reaction is anything to go by.

10+3 today.

alicat I'm so sorry to hear of your friend. :(