Jue in June - part 4

[BarbieLovesKen]

And heres another ladies!!!!

Hi ladies,

On the nuchal issue, I've put down to have it (though I'm only going to be 9+4 when I have my scan on Thursday, I think - they think I'm later on, so I probably won't get it and will have to have the other test (can't remember what it's called)). It's not because if there is something wrong I'd abort - it's just because I'd rather have the information either way and be able to deal with it and plan for it.

I have no idea what we will do if there is something seriously wrong - none at all - and nor does DH. I suppose I hope that we'll cross that bridge if it comes to it. But in the (I think quite high) likelihood that we proceeded with the pregnancy anyway, at least we would have a lot of time to prepare, get all the information we can, think about work/the future etc, even attend classes if necessary, so that when the baby came we would be better equipped to deal with it (emotionally, financially, practically and in all other ways).

Not sure if that makes total sense.

Anyway, nothing else to report except the pukiness is getting stronger. Almost didn't come to work today but glad I did because when I'm busy I don't feel so bad. When I'm at home feeling sorry for myself the puke per day ratio gets higher. It's nowhere near as bad as it could be, though - enough that I know I'm pregnant, not so much I can't take anymore. So I'm pretty thankful.

Hope everybody else is well

Hi moomin again! Another thought for you! I know that it is a possibility that your or anyones baby may have a birth defect but there is every possibility, more so, that it will be perfectly healthy. Just think if you have got to thus stage in your pregnancy then the baby has already passed a number of natural survival tests so is growing and holding his/ her own already! It is sad but I keep thinkng if there was something severely wrong with the baby there's a high chance I would have miscarried. Godwilling we've got this far and pray that we all make it through to 40 weeks.

The stats you've been given may be classed high risk but try to think of things the other way, if you were given 1 in 1250 chance of winning a £1000 you'd be pretty sceptical of winning!

Although sounds like the worry is really playing on your mind so perhaps you should crack on with the bloods etc and see if the odds are any better/worse?

Not sure If I have said this before but my nephew was a 1 in 80 chance of downs but my BIL and SIL didn't have an amnio, as they were not going to terminate. Anyway 18 months on and he's 100% fine and all is good!

Hello all - found you!

Glad you are all still here and welcome to Lisascat

10 wk scan today - definitely something human shaped there now although huge head (like its father). Also he appeared to be asleep so defo not going to be a morning person (like its father). Sonographer said she couldnt find any evidence of a 'winky' (like its ....).

Celebrated by buying some new pg vits and sticking my head round Mothercares door...because I'm now convinced the 'your not pg' alarms wont be going off identifying me as an imposter!

I'm now onto thinking about the nuchal too. I'm going to have it a week on Saturday and whilst I've had a shift in my thinking, that I have no right to demand a perfect baby and that a ds one would be as loved as any other, I'm not sure my DH is in the same place. Heres a question for you though - is ds a fault with the embryo or the early development? The reason I ask is because my much older friend is on her 3rd IVF pg and I just wondered if she had the same worries as the rest of us at 12 wks or if it doesnt happen to IVFs? Anyone educate me?

can't help you there jasmine i have no idea, but im sure one of the others will be able to

Our original plan had been to have the nuchal scan and then decide from there but as its not offered in our area i think that has sent us into our dilemma ( i just presumed we would get one). I just think £170 is alot of money when i dont know if i would proceed into further investigations anyway. Which is awful i know as i would have accepted it on the NHS that still costs money and time......is that selfish.
At what weeks do they offer the amnio??? i think its after 15weeks so maybe just wait and see from the bloods at 16weeks. I also think as i havent had a scan at all and so few symptoms, i just need to see my babys heartbeat. I cant imagine paying for a private nuchal scan and finding out our baby had died.

On a cheerier note.......what are the best maternity jeans to buy??? i usually wear Next bootcut jeans.......but have real issues due to my shape that i usually try on about 20 pairs before finding ones that fit.....Do next do them in store? dont think ive ever seen any ( but then ive never looked). Who else do nice ones. I live in jeans and am starting to get uncomfy in the evenings which is fine when im at nome as the PJ's just go on but its hard when you are out and just want your button and zip undone LOL

Congrats on the scan Jasmine!

BTW did you see my post about the NCT antenatal classes on the last thread?

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, Jasmine :)

moomin Next do maternity jeans in store but you need to go online to check which is your nearest because not many of them stock them. Be careful of sizing though. I am, by anybodys standards, a good size 12 or 14 however I had to buy size 8 bootcuts from Next...and they still fall down. It made my day and I've been walking rounnd with the label still on so everyone can see the size!

Kara I did indeed, thanks. Got to get DH through the nuchal testing first before I can worry his stressed little head with taxing issues such as going to classes! Bless, hes finding this pg such hard work!

Thanks Jasmine looks like it will have to be a trip to birmingham bullring, no where closer stocks the range. Anyone else bought a nice pair......and if so what have you gone for, elasticated pockets, over bump / under bump.

Thanks sunny will take a closer look at the link later. Looks as if it will have lots of info

No motivation today, done nothing on my day off but we did have a pretty busy weekend, trip up to leeds for the night friday, back saturday with my whole family for sunday lunch ( 9 of us)......

All this talk of the different tests offered in different postcode areas just made me realise I need to ask you all a really dumb question.

I've got a DD of 3 1/2, so my GP didn't really tell me much when I saw her, because she just assumed "she's done this before, she'll know what happens next". But my first trimester was really different last time, because I was in the Middle East paying for private appointments with an Obs & Gyni specialist. So every appointment I had a full scan, I was told the sex at 12 weeks, and every test available was included with the fee (including tests to prove I wasn't fasting for Eid...as if! I was cramming food in my mouth in cupboards to avoid the fine for public eating. Anyway, I digress..)

So I have no idea what to expect of my MW appt next week or my scan mid Dec. The main thing I need to know is whether the MW will listen for a heartbeat next week. We'd planned not to tell anyone until after the scan, but fat belly, refusal of alcohol and feeling sick may prove hard to hide for another 4 weeks. If MW does anything to put our minds at rest, we may tell after the appt next week.

Crikey I sound dumb - but my pride simply stopped me asking my GP what to expect. This, despite knowing I'm probably going to poo in front of total strangers next June! Where will my pride be then, huh?????

Lisas Hey I feel like an old lag now answering your question...although I asked exactly the same thing this time last week before I saw the MW for the first time!
Your MW apt will be mainly paperwork. You will be given a pile of booklets to take away, a million forms to be filled in together and will most likely give an armful of blood and a pot of wee. It doesnt get alot more exciting than that. Mine also gave me a list of questions to ask the consultant at the 10 wk check (I'm high risk so having 2 wkly apts). Mine also did try and pick up a heartbeat but failed. It would be highly unlikely to hear one externally at 10 wks apparently so if you dont want her to try..and then panicked when you cant hear one, dont do it!

Have you had any scans up to now?

Lisas pretty much the same at my midwife appointment.....90min of form filling and questions / answers. She didnt try to listen for a heartbeat or anything that was able to reassure me that all was ok. I have had to tell a lot of people due to my job etc ( and excitement) but i dont get a scan til 12 weeks. You will also find out what tests are also available in your area as you will have gathered it seems to differ depending on where you live. She may also discuss where you want to have your baby or give you options on the choices that you have.
Hope that helps.....this is my first pregnancy so i also have been very innocent in what to expect :)

Thanks Jasmine, no so far just a GP appt. I think I'm considered really low risk, because everything ticked along nicely last time (despite doing sooo much wrong in the first month when I didn't realise I was pregnant).

My other half's not thrilled about coming to the MW appointment, should I let him bunk off? If there's nothing more exciting than paperwork, he'll probably sit there like a fidgety kid.

And will I find out the sex at the scan? We really don't have a preference, but I want to be able to start talking baby bro or baby sis to DD. When I ask the question "Would you like a baby bro or sis?" (to mean would you like a sibling, not asking her to choose) she says "Baby bro please". I want to be able to give it a gender, so she understands we don't choose the sex off the shelf of the supermarket. I just assumed that, as I was told at 12 weeks before, I would be in this country too.

Thanks moomin, I'm trying so hard not to tell work yet. I recently got promoted, but the paperwork hasn't yet been completed, even though I've already received one paycheck at the new, higher salary. I'm just a bit paranoid about telling them I'm pregnant, before I've got a signed document showing my new salary, in case they try to screw me back down to the lower one for maternity. I know it's highly unlikely, I'm just paranoid. And the pregnancy happened 3 months earlier than planned anyway, and has seriously messed our financial plans as a result, so I'm just being extra cautious!

Lisa my DH didnt come to the MW apt. He couldnt because of work but tbh there wasnt much for him to be there for apart from to annoy the MW or play with the birthing toys. I'm trying to involve him in everything but scans are more important to me I think. Its personal choice. There might be some questions about his family history though - do you know it or could he usefully contribute to those? - its important to be able to give a full picture on what runs in your families.

It weird but I'm actually glad in some ways that I do have some 'challenges' because it means I get those early scans. I cant imagine waiting til 12 wks I'd be going stir crazy. Not sure about the sex thing. I know that can be detected through the bloods but those might only be done if further investigations needed? Sorry, someone else can probably answer that better.

I think the sex will be identified at 20week anomoly scan which is much more detailed than the 12 week dating scan......we dont want to know so i didnt really ask that question. Lisa my DH was at the MW appointment but only because he was at home and she did a home visit.......it wasnt really necessary but it would be useful if you dont know his family history.

Hi all, I finally found you..I hadn't even noticed the last thread was full until I tried to post. Just thought everyone had gone a bit quiet

Motherof & Jasmine thats wonderful news that your scans went well, mine is tomoroow morning & I am so excited. DP is away so my friend is coming with me, think she is even as excited as me if not a bit more! Think it's you NurseSun who is having your scan tomorrow too? Hope it goes well for you.

Welcome Lisascat, I have been to both my MWs appts alone which have been fine.

Moomin sorry I am not much help re screening tests, ultimately I would not like to have an amnio because I am aware that the risks are mainly down to the clinician's skill & I think that would stress me out no end.

Personally I tend to avoid all the risk scoring stuff altogether. I think worrying about caring for a child with disabilities is always a big issue during pg, but disability could happen at any time through accident or illness after pregnancy. I honestly don't know exactly how I would cope but I think my personality would deal better with not knowing right now. Hope that makes sense?

Of course that is only my own thoughts & I know that the screening tests do have their place & are important to so many people. Am sure whatever choice you make will be the right one for you.

Mrsbigw that is one of my arguemnts too......you never know what may happen after they are born and end up with a disabled child that you are then responsible for. Its not the caring for a d/c that worries my DH its the long term outcome after we are no longer to cope.....

moomin how old is your DH? I think I remember you saying you're 38 - I don't think that's going to make a substantial difference than if you were 28. You'll only be 68/9 when your baby is 30 - and that's a lifetime away! And your chances of being fit and active at 68/9 are very high.

On the other hand you could have had a baby at 18 and got sick/had an accident at 20, so there's no telling ...

Anyway, that's just a thought. Just wanted to reassure you you're not an old lady just yet!

Really good point mrsbigw

Today has totally dragged by - and I have practically zero cash until DH's wages come on on Thursday so it is going to be a lloooooonnnnggggg week!

Thansk TTL , my DH is only 42 and we are very fit and healthy. Our parents are totally differnt in fitness and outlook. My parents are nearly 70 and still young and active. His mom is mid 70's going on 90! and i think that influences him a lot.
I think thats the problem that we have totally different thoughts on the matter and finding a compromise is difficult. I have just spoken to the private scan place......they say below 1:150 is high risk and if thats the result then the consultant will do a CVS test under the NHS. Recommend doing it in the 12th week so i think we will wait for scan on monday and then make a decision......

hello ladies - 4th thread! I also spotted an august thread (!!) so we are the old experienced ones now.

can't possibly catch up with everyone, but good luck to those who have scans coming up.

booking in on sunday, will be 9+3 by then so i'm thinking not much of a chance of a scan before christmas!

take care everyone x

oooh the tricky subject of the nuchal scans, bloods etc... I think I've come to the conclusion that whether or not you had the scan or bloods or both, the ultimate final confirmation or otherwise always results in an amniocentisis or CVS, so I don't think you're actually any better off with the scan over the bloods...ultimately you'd want to be pretty sure that it wasn't a false positive before you made any decisions anyway...So, I think I am just going to have the blood tests and see how I get on...
It's a very personal thing though I think and so hard that some regions offer the combined test as standard and others don't.