DH has died - niffler

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

Husband now terminalhttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lifelimitingg_illness/3050597-husband-now-terminal

We filled the last thread. Thank you all for every good thought you have sent my way.

[Ilikesweetpeas]

Just wanted to check in and let you know I'm thinking of you Niffler. Can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I'm glad that the money situation is better than anticipated. Whilst nothing can take away your pain hopefully this gives you some time and security

[SingaSong12]

I'm glad one little bit of stress is gone.
Best wishes

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

I received 2 £500 cheques to donate to the charities of DH's choice on his passing from his work. I wish I could name his company as they have been excellent but A. It would be outing and B. They requested that we didn't make it public knowledge as they haven't supported us for publicity they have done it because they think it is the right thing to do. Sometimes the worst situations make you see people for who they really are good and bad.

[Horsemad]

What a lovely gesture in his memory, they sound brilliant.

[MrsMozart]

A lovely gesture from the company.

[HappyHedgehog247]

I'm glad to hear you are getting some money. I know you'd give all the money in the world to have your DH back and healthy but this is a way to at least take one worry off your mind while you try and slowly heal.

[HappyHedgehog247]

And a lovely gesture to do something in his honour. Do you have a sense of what he might have chosen?

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

He chose Movember and Teenage Cancer Trust as the two charities to donate to from funeral donations. He also asked that once I get money sorted I offer £500 to his boss to donate to the charity of his choice. I also told DH and his boss that I would pass it on. DH was very upset at people organising money and the kindness he received. He once said to a nurse that he felt guilty them helping him as they were just doing it because they were kind and nothing would come out of it (he would die). I also said I would do something each year to raise money for Testicular Cancer and another charity that was underfunded (brain tumour research is woefully underfunded)

[KeziaOAP]

What a lovely gesture from his company giving donation to charities in memory of your DH.

Did you decide to go ahead with the newspaper article to make people aware of this terrible disease, I remember you saying your MIL didn't want this to happen.

Take care

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

No MILs meltdown meant we didn't go ahead. It will be published in other ways in the months/years to come though. He didn't want this to happen to anyone else. It will but hopefully funding and knowledge will eventually get a cure rate of 100%.

[SingaSong12]

Just a quick hello

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

Hello Sing how are you today?

[SingaSong12]

Doing pretty well - definitely chillier here this evening than this morning, just need to persuade myself to get up and make food (pasta).

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

It was quite mild here this morning. It has gotten colder but still warmer than it has been.

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

I joined WAY last night. I gave mil the suggestion to do a daily to do list to help her when she's on her own and I think I need to use my own suggestion. I need to start getting some things done.

[MrsMozart]

The daily list sounds like a good idea.

[SingaSong12]

I've used daily lists a lot. The first thing on the list is something I'm about to do and is easy - it's really satisfying to tick it off. For the same reason I generally use pen and paper rather than my phone.

[Chasingsquirrels]

Daily lost sounds good, but don't expect too much of yourself - it doesn't matter if you don't complete the list.

I hope you find WAY helpful and that your local group has people you can connect with.

As well as the main WAY site there are a number of closed Facebook groups, there is one for those without children which appears to be very active.

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

I won't over do the list. Some of the things on it will be like showering and dressing which I do every day anyway. I just think the visual aid might help me a little. I have a couple of official bits I need to do phone calls/letters things like that.

I'm waiting for my code thing so I can hopefully join the Facebook page once I have that.

[Amber0685]

Pleased to hear you got more money than expected really kind of the company, and one less thing for you to worry about. I find lists are very good at motivating me to get things done, if you can't get everything done one day just move it to annother day. Very satisfying when it is all crossed off. How is your dog?

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

Ddog is good. She's overdue a groom which she'll be having next week but she's happy being home. She keeps getting me up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet though .

[Chasingsquirrels]

Oh she is gorgeous x

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

Thank you Chasing. Did I read somewhere on here you have a puppy? A Facebook video popped up in my history of her as a tiny puppy running around in the snow and I miss the little puppy with the big belly.

[Chasingsquirrels]

Yup - he was on my knee but just got off cos he got too hot

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

He's totally beautiful. I have such a soft spot for spaniels. My PIL have a springer and their previous dog was also a springer.