My amazing DH is gone. How do I cope?

[IcanandIwill]

Am totally worn out and emotionally exhausted. My story will be obvious to anyone who knows / recognises me. DH died suddenly three weeks ago. Two weeks ago I gave birth to our baby. I'm really looking for advice from anyone who has lost a partner. How on earth do you cope. I cannot get past the fact that he won't be coming back. It does not feel real and I can't accept it. How on earth do you get through the day / week / months?

You won't forget what you had. You have some precious little beings who will remind you of all the good things. At the moment it'll seem more bitter but later the sweet will make itself known

There are times when I wish there was a way of hugging someone on the Internet

Ican what you are living is the worst imaginable nightmare, I have lurked and just wanted to say that you are definately not defeated. Such early days for you all. I don't have experience of losing my DH but there is the threat looming constantly atm and I have found myself crumbling just thinking about it and answering the childrens hypothetical questions. I can't imagine the reality. My heart goes out to you and your children........just sending love xxxx

Sending lovexx

Three months ago today. It was Friday 13th then too. I miss my husband. It feels like another world and another life.

So,so sorry. Your circumstances are very similar to my own. My DH died in a road traffic accident and left me with two young children. However it was many years ago and my children are now grown up. If ever you want to PM me I`ll try my very best to help.

Ican. I'm sorry you're feeling so alone and so far away from the life you remember. I know I can't say anything to make you feel better.

But we're here, if you want to talk about and remember your husband, or if you want to bounce off the walls, or if you want to scream at the top of your voice.

Thinking of you xx

Special day today. Missed him hugely.

How are you doing today? X

Hey. Had a tough few days. I'll be ok. It's just totally shit. Lots of little things going on that have really knocked me xxx

Thinking of you.

Thinking of you xx

wish I could do or say something to help. Sending love and strength xx

Still here and will keep bumping thread. There are shoulders here if you need them xx

Hello. Checking in. Hope your weekend was ok x

Am ok thanks. I think the reality is really starting to set in. I miss him so much. Watching our girls playing together or seeing little DS grow. It's so painful, like someone twisting a knife in your insides, over and over again. I feel the grimace on my face when this happens. I am going to be ok. But I don't know how I'll ever accept it. You aren't supposed to leave for work and just not come home. That's not supposed to happen.

No, it's really not. And to be dealing with that grief, coming out of the blue as it did, must be incredibly hard [understatement]

You are being really strong. My heart goes out to you xx

Was thinking of you today. Sending love and strength xx

Thanks. Been keeping us very busy in the school holidays. It stops me thinking too much

I have PM you Ican, get in touch when your free, i no how hectic the holidays are!x

Hey, sorry I haven't checked in for a while. Hope you're doing ok. Am sure your dcs are loving spending lots of time with you over the hols. understand it would be bittersweet for you though.

Love and strength xx

www.wayfoundation.org.uk/ so sorry for your loss IcanandIwill. I know of someone who found the linked group very useful. X

So I've been doing ok. But I'm so frustrated and angry that I'm having to rely on other people to just get by day to day. I cannot juggle bedtime on my own. I've wanted to go to bloody B&Q for two days now and its not happened. It's so bloody frustrating. I'm trying to sort out some paid help of an evening but this is all on the hands of solicitors and taking do long. I need the help now

I have been ok. But there are times when I then get totally overwhelmed.

I can sorry not been around much lately. Have you thought about getting an aupair to help in the short term ? It still means that you can have help at bedtime when you need it and gain some some sanity during the day. It is hard when all the kids want your attention at the same time. I used to try and bath all mine together and then feed the baby while reading a bedtime story to the others, not ideal but it was a case of doing the best i could. Just keep trying different ways of doing things at bedtime until you find the easiest system for you . Have you tried toddlers and baby in the bath together and then older ones afterwards , then while you are sorting younger ones out with story etc you could let the older ones watch tv ? . When they wanted individual stories I read to the youngest first and the others had to be in their rooms looking at books while i read to the others. You will find a way through this. Take care.