''Even the smallest of footprints have the power to leave an everlasting imprint on the Earth'' Remembering with love our darling children

[Whatevertheweather]

Remembering not only what we have lost but what our darling children have given to us.

A new 'safe haven' thread. Thank you Chip for our last one which filled up in just a month. A sure sign of lots of tears, smiles and wonderful support.

All our children have taught us something whether they were born sleeping, lived just a little while, weeks, months or years. Here are mine:

Never ever take anything for granted, life can change very quickly.
Listen to yourself; your instincts will nearly always be right.
That it is possible to function seemingly normally with a broken heart.
That I have a wonderful relationship that can withstand the hardest of times.
That love and support can come from the most unexpected sources.
That I have a lot of very lovely friends, new and old.
That my family is amazing.
That no matter what it is impossible not to smile and laugh with my beautiful Katie around.
That a rainbow can provide hope in the darkest of times.
That there will be good days and bad days
That I love my children more than I ever thought possible.

For all our darling children xxx

That book is really sick :( everlong it is a book of jokes that we would all find extremely hurtful. I reported the facebook page as "Hate Speech" against a gender. I am all for free speech but that is just in horrible taste.

This book everlong

I'm incensed about it!

I think that book was originally part of a Facebook group that had roughly the same title. It took approximatly 1,000 bereaved parents objecting to the group to get it removed from Facebook. Each time one of us posted (and obviously I knew very few of the other bereaved parents) we were ridiculed and laughed at. It took Facebook about a month before it was removed as a group. I would imagine the quotes (and pictures if there are any) are taken from the vile FB group. All you can do is object strongly....report over and over again on the Amazon web site. BUT after all that is done and even if the book is withdrawn we sadly live in a very strange world, we walk amongst very strange people and sometimes we have to block them out of our life and walk tall with our heads held high and remember our beloved, precious children. The Greek people have a word for people like this and it is 'Malakers'

Have also reviewed it as inappropriate, posted on the product forum and complained to Amazon. Disgusting.

I have also posted on the forum about this book. I can't believe they are selling it. I have also signed the petition on SANDS.
Been going through a bad patch lately, 8 months since Jacob died, this has made me so angry I actually feel a bit better for ranting about it! I may even complain in person to amazon!
Sorry to those who have found us recently. I d on't often post, but there is always help here when I need it.
Could I ask if anyone has had any sort of bereavement counseling and did it help? I have been avoiding it but my DH and work colleagues think I need it. Just wondering how others feel about it, thanks.

Hi tallulah! I have had a few sessions where my bereavement counsellor came out to my house or talked on the phone. To be quite honest, although she is lovely, she's not a bereaved Mum and I have found it more useful talking to my pals on here who do know what they're talking about. I am on a waiting list for a group and think that might be more helpful.

Thanks chip. Yes, I was thinking of a group, maybe. It's really only other bereaved mums who will understand.

Compassionate Friends have group meetings. If you google their name it will direct you to their web site. xxx

Compassionate Friends website

Mech thanks, feeling better since then thankfully, was an odd day

chip I felt very different around my children at the time Scarlett died, I found them hard to deal with and wasn't connecting much with them at all. I felt guilty about that on top of everything else. Like you though, it's much better now. Your experience sounds like a sign to me, I'm glad you came to that road and house and that you didn't do anything x

MrsY (hugs) I remember those feelings too, they're lesser now but are still there even 18 months later. Thinking of you x

everlong did you enjoy the band? It's a very emotional song. I agree with you on the before and after xx

Miasmummy how insensitive of your friend :( I'm not surprised you're so upset xx

Matilda I find it hard to say how many children I have, depending on the situation and person I will mention about Scarlett but often just say 4 instead of the 5 it should be. I always feel guilty about it

whatever totally understand that, in a way I found it a comfort to be around others that had been there and understood and also some that had been through it again. Pregnancy was such a difficult time, I really thought that something would happen again, I was utterly convinced. Even all the women on the Rainbows thread that had their babies safely I didn't think I would be one of them. Thankfully I Was but I remember the feeling was so sure in my mind that I'd lose Ella too xxx

lavandes we light candles too, used to most nights and always in memory of Scarlett and other babies. Need to get them back out of the garage though now as everything has been in turmoil after decorating.

Oh what an awful bloody book, I've seen the FB group mentioned and it's disgusting and sick. Jesus.

My parents bought us a lovely dragonfly ornament for either house or garde, in memory of Scarlett, it's quite big but looks lovely. Need to find somewhere to hang it now. Feeling a bit up and down lately

I may have had a rant about the book!

I'm still so - this is a shit build up week for me and I'm not feeling very tolerant at all.

hi girls sorry to be awol

hubby still in hospital and I just havent had time to sit down and post.. you are all in my thoughts and prayers

I have my first counselling session tomorrow .. not sure what to expect...

will let you know how it goes

Good to see you FM xxxx

......oh yes, a little bird told me its your birthday FM - Know you probably dont feel like celebrating but you have to have the wine now I have poured it xxx Happy Birthday my friend xxx

Happy birthday, fm! I wish you were having a better one, but take the wine before shabs drinks the rest of it!

fm here's some chocolate birthday cake and for you along with the . Wishing for you better health for your hubby, and some internal peace for you. xx

matilda the line I have practised saying is "I have a daughter, Mia, but she died last October." Most people who didn't know have responded very sensitively.

Weird experience the other night before DH's triathlon - we had tried to go to bed early, but various texts and calls kept preventing us from sleeping. Then, when we were finally asleep, a call came through at midnight, and I had a panic as I picked up the phone, worrying it was bad news? not that I have any special reason to think that, just I am now only too aware of how life can change suddenly. It was nothing, but I was a little freaked out and ended up sobbing afterward, thinking about the terrible call I had to make to my parents when Mia died.

Just found out a friend is walking the Cotswold Way later this month wearing trekking boots and a tiara (and other clothing, I presume!) on behalf of the Child Bereavement Charity. Of course I had to donate.

oops in the last couple of hours I appear to have devoured half a box of choccies and nearly a full bottle of wine ..happy birthday to me!!

ooh choc cake..I have just laughed out loud at the image of walking the cotswold way in hiking boots and tiara ... and I really hope other clothes too as the weather is slightly inclement

I have lots of wine... I worry about driving in the morning and then remember there are taxis ...

fm hope it goes well xx happy birthday x

Hope you saved me the coffee creams FM xxx

Ed Sheeran gets me every time..

Good morning ladies from sunny Cornwall (for a while) xx

Happy Birthday for yesterday fm hope your dh is well soon and that your counselling goes well.

I cannot believe that anyone would buy that book. It is disgusting and should be banned. There are some seriously sick people out there.
It made me think of a post Richard's boss, who I had thought kind, put on facebook a few months after Richard had died - 'I'd rather be dead than have a hangover' - his other friends probably thought it funny but it upset me, I deleted him and will not have anything to do with him again. He was the person who found Richard when he died which to me makes it worse, but I do overreact.

Glad you enjoyed Coldplay everlong. We went to see them in 2009 it was brilliant. JayZ was playing aswell I thought we would have gone and had a drink when he was on as it is not usually our thing but he was brilliant, so clever and the girl singer was amazing when they played New York. I loved it all. xx