I just want to kill him today

[Fifyfomum]

I am so annoyed with my son, he is 3.8 and has shown absolutely no sign of 'wanting to potty train' which EVERYBODY told me would 'happen naturally' when he turned three.

He is now sat on the potty, he has been there for around an hour and it looks like he will be there for an hour more. Every time he stands up he cries because he is busting for the loo and I sit him back down again but he refuses REFUSES to wee on the potty.

I need to potty train him before school it is getting RIDICULOUS and when I talk to him now he is putting on this 'baby' voice and sticking his tongue out around his teeth so he can't talk properly and I am SO ANGRY with him.

Why WHY won't he just use the potty? All his friends at nursery use the potty, he knows what to do because we have been going through this ridiculous process day after day trying to get him to bloody urinate out of a nappy.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

I am REALLY fucking hacked off today yeah, but that doesn't mean HE is getting the brunt of it I've reserved that for you poor fuckers reading I am typing so I am NOT shouting at him!!!

I've asked the nursery for tips, they have been useless 'he will go when he is ready' bollocks. He is nearly 4 and he ain't going anywhere.

I am afraid my sympathies are entirely with your poor child.

my 'poor child' is fine, he is watching toy story sat on the potty (his choice) I am hoping we will catch a poo (he is overdue one)

The toilet will be difficult because he will have to be in a different room to the family room. PITA

I understand your frustration completely. I reached the end of my tether when DS was 3.4. Because it IS completely ridiculous to be well over three and not at least mostly toilet trained when ALL your peers are (which is my benchmark) and I also have better things to do than clean up pee and poo all day. Two things worked for us, within two weeks. Step 1 was harsh but it worked and we are all much happier and more relaxed

1. Take a favoured toy away for every time he deliberately goes in his pants. No shouting, just look sad and explain, repeatedly, why you've done it. Keep toy in sight but out of reach. Tell him if he does a wee in the potty/loo, he gets it back.
2. For every wee in loo or potty, or even an attempt which is an improvement on the last time, give the toy back and keep repeating why and how happy you are with him. I found over the top praise, falling down and pretending to faint and pulling a silly face because I was so impressed made him laugh.
3. Rope in DH/DP or another male. Get DH to demonstrate, make a real performance piece out of it, make out it's the most fun thing ever to do with a willy. Much better to make your DS pee standing up in the long run and forget the potty (I find them absolutely disgusting a concept, used to make me feel ill emptying it). Also more convenient when out and about. Poos of course a different matter but there's fewer of them, thankfully. Good luck.

Jesus Christ, forget what all your friends kids are doing!

Nursery would rather they used potties at almost 4?! That's crazy.

I think you've made this into such a contentious issue by being so fixated on what he absolutely should be doing by now.

Sort the toilet out, get some balls for inside to aim at, make it fun, and do try not to let him know how pissed off you are with him.

Jeez.

I am sure it was not unheard of, just you had not heard of it.

I appreciate your deaire to have your son move on, and it sounds like he is taking a step in the right direction.

But you need to be in a better frame of mind or you will blow a gasket.
Try him on a toilet, even without a baby insert, he might appreciate that.

And of course the nursery and school mypust allow him to use the toilets - out in the real world ie cafes etc it is a toilet, not a potty, for all, so your boy might just skip the potty stage entirely.

How do you know when they've deliberately gone in their pants??

Still don't get why it's a hassle to baby up your own loo. Or make nursery use a toilet.

Many kids just move straight from nappy to loo.

Glad to read tou are venting at us, not him

Does he go to he loo with you and DH, that also might inspire him.

I agree I have been an idiot to listen to everyone anywhere ever telling me to 'wait until he is ready' he is NOT going to 'be ready' anytime soon, obviously just NOT that sort of kid.

FFS I AM FUCKING SORTING OUT THE FUCKING LOO

Jesus people should just RTFT before repeating the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN

Try a Pottette? Use it on the toilet first then he might not have an issue using it as a potty.
Whether or not he uses a potty he will always need to make the transition to the toilet so you will have to face the hassle at some point.

I have encountered some kids who are just incredibly stubborn on this issue and won't be moved, not even for the most fantastic bribes and rewards, not for negative sanctions, nothing at all. They just won't do it until something clicks in their head and they want to do it themselves. I think it sounds like your son is just determined to do this on his own terms and that even if you had tried your friends' methods they may not have worked and you would now be stressing that you had pushed it too early and that's why it isn't working.

We cracked it at home (using chocolate buttons) and just sent him to nursery in pull-ups until he was reliable at home. Took him out in pull-ups as well. I know some people say once you take the nappy off that's it but that didn't work for us. We got it sorted at home, then graduated to pants at nursery as well and then pants for trips out of the house.

Your absolute worst-case scenario here is him not being trained by the time he starts school. I think that's really unlikely and I'm sure it will click sooner than that, especially as you are making progress already with the Spiderman pants and so on. However, if that worst-case scenario did come to pass, I bet it would happen very quickly as being at school would give him a very strong incentive to want to do it himself. Honestly, I don't think it will come to that and I know why you definitely don't want it to come to that but as a worst-case scenario it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Good luck, it sounds like he is getting there anyway but we found it wasn't linear progress - he would have a great day or two and then some really frustrating setbacks again. It's a very stressful process but it will succeed eventually.

I think it's crazy a nursery expects a nearly 4 year old to use a potty rather than a toilet. There is no way my 3 year old would want to sit on a potty at her age let alone 4 and nearly going to school. He needs to use a toilet... What will you do when you go out? Carrying a potty around is a nuisance. I would be having words with the nursery.
I hope you are using this forum to vent and swear instead of swearing at your little boy

Always had an open loo door policy with the kids (well I have, Husband is not up for it) I am hoping he knows we use the loo to do a piss and a shit so hopefully he will start using it too.

Shout away. We have all been there but you need to step back a bit! Its not the end of the world here - he will use the loo. September is a while away. As I said, it could be a child protection issue (I think the rules changed a little while ago) with the potty/nursery.

There will be a million other 'targets' to come (reading, writing, times tables...) And they all come with their stresses.

My sister ran a preschool in the US. She said that she was amazed at how many kids came in nappies - and these were all ages up to school age.

Try to not get riled. Treat it like the most insignificant thing in the world. Yes, kids can be most stubborn, and sometimes you can't talk them into/out of things. Bribary or punishments don't always work either.

September is a long way away. You need to get him off the potty (we had a step with a potty built in, that also has a removeable seat to go over the loo) and start getting him to tell you when he needs to go. Loads of praise when he does. Make it an exciting game 'ooooo! Quickity quick! Let's all go to the loo!'. Make up a daft poo song or dance. Stick a duck in the loo, whatever it takes to make you feel slighlty daft (you can't be cross if you are chanting 'duck poo poo, duck wee wee!'

PITA because it's not in the family room....I've lost you there....

Prob me only had one coffee so far.

I'd give it a go to a different approach that will distract his mind from the fact it's important to wee in potty for 'social' reasons… kids can catch that!
Why not to try the following??
Loos drink wee-wee and eat poop: magical creatures than once they have had many wees and some food ;) they leave you a little present as a thank you for feeding them… sounds crazy or like bribery?? Kind of!! But it may work with your DS.

Dd just decided to do it, with a few tears to start with, but she got there. Me interfering got us nowhere, bribes got us nowhere, stressing made it horrible for everyone as there were many times I tried it before,

She didn't care that she has a massive poo in her nappy that was making her bum sore and couldn't care less about what her friends were doing. I think it will be fine starting him on the toilet at home as dd did this and uses toilet or potty when we go out.

It will just click though op, you can't say he's 'nowhere near ready' I thought that when dd was crapping EVERYWHERE except the potty, then one day she just got it.

Really don't think him sitting on the potty all the time to watch tv etc is such a good idea.

Op

I hear you ans I am NOT Giving you any tips or platitufes or poor baby.

I have a child who will be FOUR IN JULY and she refuses. Totally to use a toulet or potty. I have lost it over and over again. Nursery decided they could handle her. They tried fir three weeks sending her home with carrier bags of clothes. Eventually they gave up.

ee don't go out now to parties or playgroups or even visit others hpuses because I cannot change a ALMOST FOUR YEAR OLD in front of others ans listen to the FUCKING tips ans sneers.

I've tried it. I've tried everything. I wish to god she was someone elses problem to worry about because on this issues she has beaten me.

eyelet hugs

You know exactly how I feel by the sounds of it. Having the ONLY child in his class coming in with nappies.

having to avoid parties/friends houses/events because I know that he will be chatting away to me while I have to change his shitty nappy in front of people talking about how little Typhoid was potty trained at 2.

ffs