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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

I just want to kill him today

784 replies

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 07:45

I am so annoyed with my son, he is 3.8 and has shown absolutely no sign of 'wanting to potty train' which EVERYBODY told me would 'happen naturally' when he turned three.

He is now sat on the potty, he has been there for around an hour and it looks like he will be there for an hour more. Every time he stands up he cries because he is busting for the loo and I sit him back down again but he refuses REFUSES to wee on the potty.

I need to potty train him before school it is getting RIDICULOUS and when I talk to him now he is putting on this 'baby' voice and sticking his tongue out around his teeth so he can't talk properly and I am SO ANGRY with him.

Why WHY won't he just use the potty? All his friends at nursery use the potty, he knows what to do because we have been going through this ridiculous process day after day trying to get him to bloody urinate out of a nappy.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

OP posts:
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MrsCakesPremonition · 01/04/2014 17:19

What about the pull ups with a panel that changes colour or something when wet? So he gets a visual clue as well as the wet feeling.

BeverleyMoss · 01/04/2014 17:24

For the very last time there are no other user names!

I smell pants burning.

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 01/04/2014 17:30

I am loathed to put him back in pull-ups during the day to be honest.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 01/04/2014 17:37

Novel thought but if you don't like the language or the op why not fuck off? Don't read, don't post? She's been going for 700+ messages. Do you really think one more wail of "the poor wee innocent bairn?" will change her writing style?

There's some egos on the thread fo sure but I ain't convinced they are the ops tbh....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/04/2014 17:49

Fyfifomum - if he is getting weeing in the potty, he will get the rest of it, in time - he really will.

It is just as well I had a quick check before I posted this - autocorrect had changed weeing in the potty to weeping In the potty!

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 01/04/2014 18:07

Thanks SDT I really hope so.

OP posts:
TheFrightenedMonkey · 01/04/2014 18:38

I really don't think we can start dictating how people vent on here, and what language is deemed acceptable. It seems to me the op has taken on board the constructive comments and is taking the advice that she's been given.
The judgemental comments about her language baffle me, if it annoys people so much why not just close the thread and read another one?

ironmaiden999 · 01/04/2014 18:48

thefrightenedmonkey. Perhaps others are worried about he child, and thats why they post, and yes you can deem what is acceptable, as MN themselves can delete your posts if you swear, let alone swearing about your own child.

TheFrightenedMonkey · 01/04/2014 18:58

But as has been pointed out already, in what way does "oh I'm so offended by your language I feel scared for your child" etc, actually help the child?
And as far as I know MN only delete posts where someone is being verbally abusive to another poster, not because they are swearing about a member of their family.
I just think when faced with someone who is clearly at the end of their tether, to judge them for being at the end of their tether is spectacularly unhelpful.

rootypig · 01/04/2014 19:31

Beverly do bore off. If you want to call the OP a liar, say so. You're not 7. Are you?

And for all of the posters taunting the OP about name changes. Most people who nc on MN do it to preserve their anonymity and privacy, either from people in RL, who would connect the pieces of information given, or to preserve their MN persona, because they are embarrassed, or vulnerable, or struggling in some way. I've done it and I have nothing to apologise for. But if on a thread someone who didn't like me then began taunting me about the most private things that I had posted here out of desperation, I would feel quite frightened, I imagine.

It's the worst of the nesty behaviour on this site that what is permitted for some - naice posters with naice problems - is fair game for total vitriol for others.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 01/04/2014 19:31

This poster thrives on the drama.

From the depths of anger on Friday when her ds was spectacularly winding her up to the point she might kill him, she has mellowed, thank God and ds appears to have improved almost beyond belief.

Amazing really.

Why are you insisting you have no former nn's, that's just not true is it?

YouStayClassySanDiego · 01/04/2014 19:38

rooty it appears Beverley and I are like minded in our opinion

This poster won't be frightened by anything written here, not at all.

BeverleyMoss · 01/04/2014 19:38

okay, since you didn't see through my code, she's a liar.

when asked by another poster she feigned bafflement and said she has been this name for years, when she hasn't.

No issue with why someone might want to namechange, just with why someone would blatantly lie about it.

rootypig · 01/04/2014 19:44

People are entitled to PRIVACY! whether you like them or not! that is what name changing GIVES them. To challenge the OP about other threads is simply not your place.

Beverly your 'code' wasn't much to see through, I just dislike people being coy when they're calling someone out. It's just so superior

atthestrokeoftwelve · 01/04/2014 19:44

How do you know she has had another name?

BeverleyMoss · 01/04/2014 19:46

Yes, yes I'm a very superior 7 year old.

rootypig · 01/04/2014 19:48
Hmm
Original poster
Fifyfomum · 01/04/2014 20:09

There are no other names, this is my first name on here, I've been a member for over a year and this is my name.

The CAF lady was particularly interested in the sensory aspect, she said the lack of want to use the toilet was probably to do with the sensation of having air below him, which makes a lot of sense. They are giving me a sensory 'tick list' to do with him and to see if we can piece together anything more.

It was very good but I did leave crying, I cried during it too actually and told them how hard I had found potty training, I even told them the title of this thread! They didn't seem concerned.

I have a lot of stuff going on at the moment its very very hard. If my language is vulgar it is probably to do with a whole heap of stuff, not just my son. The HV has arranged for me to have HomeStart come in once a week, which I am pretty excited about.

OP posts:
Contemplates · 01/04/2014 20:11

TheFrightenedMonkey Tue 01-Apr-14 18:58:27
But as has been pointed out already, in what way does "oh I'm so offended by your language I feel scared for your child" etc, actually help the child?

I suppose there is a hope that, by highlighting concerns about behaviour, people may be pointing out something to the OP that she may not have considered.

Something that could potentially steer her away from making such strength of feelings known to someone much smaller than her, in the future. (80-90% of our communication is non-verbal, so if the verbal communication on MN was so strong, what must it have felt like in the same room?) the conclusion being that it would very likely feel like an attack and very frightening to a defenceless child.

MrsCakesPremonition · 01/04/2014 20:14

Fify I'm glad you are getting RL support and that your DS will be getting the help he needs to make sense of toilets.

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 01/04/2014 20:17

Oh he isn't defenceless, that kid can throw a piece of Playmobile Pirateship further than you could possibly imagine.

We just heard a bang upstairs and found him underneath his chest of drawers, for some reason he decided to climb on them.

he is fine and safely in bed I hope

OP posts:
TheFrightenedMonkey · 01/04/2014 20:17

I do understand the reason behind the concern, but i also know that I am quite capable of sending texts saying "oh my god I'm going to KILL my mum/dad/boss in minute, s/he's such a fucking wingebag it's doing my head in' whilst at the same time smiling sweetly at the relevant relative/employer and not letting on that my tension levels are quite high!

So I do believe that sometimes all that anger and frustration can be internalised and vented through a text message/forum rather than at the object of frustration. I've never yet had anyone pull me up on it when I've dealt with a situation that way, so I don't think the anger always shows.

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 01/04/2014 20:17

Do you not think contemplates that if I were going to accept that saying piss, shit and fuck a lot makes me a bad person, it would have been by the third or second time someone said it? Is there any need for the ongoing attacks?

OP posts:
TheFrightenedMonkey · 01/04/2014 20:29

Also, or clarity, I have never actually killed anybody or seriously contemplated it even, despite having written it down on more than one occasion :)

Mrsfrumble · 01/04/2014 21:16

My God, this thread has gone utterly bonkers! Agree that a late training support thread might be the way to go, and just let this clusterfuck-of-crazy die.

I'll probably be posting on it. We went away for the weekend and my supposedly-trained 3 year old decided that he couldn't be bothered with using the toilet and spent 3 days peeing in his pants instead, which was just marvelous with limited changes of clothes that I'd packed and no laundry facilities Hmm And yes, I seethed inwardly.