Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Ds1 had a friend over to play this afternoon. She is 6. They play so well together. He is much better playing one on one than in a large group. He must take after me!
Anyway, all was going really well until DS starting to wack friend with his sandpit spade

I was so cross with him. He refused to apologise and ran off and sulked. The little girl was fine and carried on playing. It took about 15 minutes for DS to apologise. He can be sooooo stubborn.

I really don't like it when he strikes out at people (inc.us). It doesn't happen very often and when it does he is normally tired but it still makes me angry.

Sorry I am babbling. Too tired to string words together tonight.

Oh reece! sorry your having problems with sleep, yes it its awful, I think its the only think before you have children that nobody can prepare you for!

I just cannot manage without sleep, I only cope because I have a wonderful dh that attends to the twins at night times, alot of the time he sleeps through their moans and groans which come to nothing but which would wake me up and keep me awake, as it takes me up to 2 hours to get back to sleep, so dh has done nights for ages now! just a lucky wife!

When I come home from work at 10.30pm if DH has gone to sleep with a child in his arms I can actually take child off him and he still doesn't wake up, he just isn't tuned into them like a mother, but equally useful not to wake up and fuss!

I am a light sleeper and wake to a bird singing outside! hence only getting 4 hours sleep a night (+ DH snoring)!

I am actually exhausted most of the time and when I have children by myself during the weekdays, I don't cope very well, no patience, snappy and knackered, but I don't get to sleep till mid-night and up early in the morning, whilst the twins are sitting with me with books, I do doze off in the afternoon, but as soon as they move off the sofa I wake, that is how sensitive I sleep, I just wish I could get a good nights sleep (uninterupted)

But I suppose it part of being a parent!

Twins arn't very well at the moment, have been in to see them 4 times already and its only 10.30pm
obviously going to be a rough night!

Wouldn't it be lovely to take a wonder tablet so its ok to go without the odd sleep, just so you can cope when kids arn't well or just not sleeping!

Oh well, night night! better get to sleep before they wake up again, might get an hour in if I'm lucky, (I say DH sees to them, but I still wake when that happens)

Well we had a lovely day today. DH let me sleep in til 10am!!!!! Neither of the boys woke during the night either so I managed nearly 12 hours sleep!!!! I can't believe it. I haven't done that in years. I'm still tired though...

I took DS1 off to the shops this afternoon for some new trainers and we had a lovely time. We had ice-cream together and generally had fun going around the shops. We were gone for 3 hours and he didn't need the toilet once.

Then when we got home the fun began. He was tired and started playing up. His bad behaviour escalated as the evening drew to a close and when it was time for a bath he refused to go upstairs. He was repeatedly playing dh and I off against each other about everything. It has driven us demented. We ended up snapping at each other, DS2 started bawling in the bath and DS1 (after being dragged upstairs by dh) was having a mass tantrum. He was crying so much he couldn't catch his breath properly.

It was a complete struggle but I managed to get him washed in the bath and then dressed. He was freaking out the whole time. (had to bath him as he had wee'd himself twice on purpose to annoy us). Because of his bad behaviour dh had warned him he would lose his bedtime stories. The bad behaviour continued and therefore the stories were lost. We stuck to our guns and I put him to bed. He was exhausted (as were we) and went straight to sleep. I hope he learns from what has happened tonight re: losing stories as punishment as I am quite upset about it all.

Before bedtime dh had also pulled him aside and lectured himn about weeing in his pants and that if he didn't stop he would go back to nappies! dh never really puts his foot down with the children but tonight he went all out war! I hate to say this but I think he was a little hard on DS and I am a bit annoyed as he is off for the next 5 days on business and I am left to continue ruling hardline!!!

I will continue to discipline the boys as I always do but even though dh was a bit ott tonight he does also have a point. We do need to start winning some battles or DS's behaviour will worsen. It was all about control this evening.

God the energy that is sucked out of us when these tantrums occur is unreal. I am zapped and desperate for another 12 hours

aaaaaaaah! what a horrible day, well actually probably week. All I have done is separate the twins from fighting, ds seems to be getting a bit rough, ya know defending his decisions (physically) dd taking them and retaliating ending in screams and tantrums.

'I want telly on'
'ok, what would you like'
then both want something different, ending in no telly cause of the fighting!

Everything we do or say is wrong, everything they eat is wrong, we go the wrong way, stand in the wrong place at school, buy the wrong stuff from shops, wrong this wrong that! 'BE QUIET'

Right! now I'm off to bed with another bar of chocolate!

Hope your're both ok reece and fotm

Look at the time 12.00 midnight and since I put twins to bed I have had to see to them 10 times already and dh just taken ds downstairs for a bottle, will we ever get sleep (I had 3 hours last night)[[tired]

Hello everyone. Haven't posted in a while as dh took laptop away on business. I felt lost without it

Well ds's behaviour has been up and down since I last posted. Yes, he was definately tired that night when the stories were removed from the bedtime routine. He does seem to have learnt from it which is a good thing . I have had no trouble all week putting the boys to bed. No escapes from the room when putting them in and no extra demands used as delaying tactics.

I think some of this has to do with the fact that I wind the children down about an hour before bedtime whereas when dh is here he wants to play with them and gets them quite hyper at times. I have decided to sit down and talk with dh over next few days about this and other bits and bobs re: discipline etc. It is only fair to all of us (inc.the boys) that we remain consistent.

Had a couple of rough nights whilst dh was away. The worst was Weds. Ds1 woke 8 times during the night and kept coming into my room trying to get into my bed. DS2 also woke twice. I was shattered the next day. Sleepysooz - I know how you feel
I remained as strong as I could be and refused to let DS1 into my bed. Had to use the magazine bribe again but it worked

When I mentioned these night wakings to one of the teachers at pre-school she asked if ds may want to wee. She said her DD went through this and was having night terrors etc. It turned out that once she wee'd she settled back to sleep no problem!!! Maybe this is what is happening. We shall see Can it be that simple???

I have had to start using the naughty step again the last couple of days. It also seems to be having a positive effect

As for potty training well you can read that on another thread. Lets just say he has been proud to remove his pull-up during his nap (which he didn't really want) and show me that he has wee'd all over his cot on purpose. He has done this twice and has done it with a huge grin on his face .

Well I have been nursing noth DS's with sickness since Sat night. had to see Dr. yesterday. DS2 has rash all over body,feet, face etc. Got a virus so no treatment for him but he is ok. Just a bit under the weather.

DS1 has had high fever since Sat night. On pencilin now. Has been complaining of sore neck and also has a rash on his back. Dr. gave all clear re: meningitis thank the lord.

He has been as good as gold and is enjoying all the pampering he is getting

Hope your lo's are all well. Its awful seeing them ill.

aw, reece! you poor lot! you must have been out of your mind with worry!

Well I hope they are on the mend now, obviously a few horrible days.

Makes you feel ill yourself when they are so poorly, I am a bad mummy when kids are sick (if dh around its ok) I just don't cope very well by myself! I have a phobia of sick! so you have my full sympathy! even if I see someone faint, I faint with them! (make a good nurse hey)

Good luck with the recovery!

Thanks sleepysooz. Good to hear from you.
DS1 is well again and went to Montessori today.

DS2 had fever last night so off we went to the Dr. again. He said its just viral so not to worry to much. We will all be ok to trsvel on Thursday as we are off on our hols for 10 days

How are your nights going? Still in own rooms? Behaving themselves?

Hia! yes still in their own rooms, things on that score won't change, we have cracked it!

But.......we are still up in the night 4 - 8 times, so its an improvement on 10 times in one night, I heard dd get up last night and go into everybodies bedrooms crying (which she doesn't normally do) then just took herself back off to bed, I think she must have been dreaming or sleep walking! bless her!

They wake up at 6am and come into our bed then we all go back to sleep till 8am (although I don't) they snore, just like their father! aggghhhhhh!

But we are coping and are glad we have stuck to it.

Hope you are all well for your hols, goin anywhere nice?

Silly question, anywhere is nice, but you know what I mean!

Anyway enjoy and I hope mini reece' enjoy themselves!

Thats great sleepysooz. So pleased the bedroom antics have ended for you and you are managing some decent sleep (when there's no snoring of course {wink})

We are off to the Algarve tomorrow. I am so looking forward to it but the work that you have to do to get organised. Its been a battle today as DS1 has been a pain in the a**! He has been at me all afternoon since he returned from Montessori.

When I collected him the girls there were trying to get him to help tidy up but he was really giving them a hard time and kept saying 'no, mummy do it' .
I was really embaressed and tbh have come home feeling like I must be doing a crap job as a mother on these aspects of parenting - tidying up after himself, doing things for himself, dressing etc. I also have been trying so hard not to give in. He is such a demanding child. He has been fighting with me over EVERYTHING.

No I don't want that cup I want that one!
Take all my toys away mummy I don't care!

He has also wee'd in his clothes again on purpose for a reaction. So looking forward to getting away.

Sorry, don't know where to go, I am so upset I can hardly see the keyboard to type!

I have just had a falling out with my sister, 1st one ever, bearing in mind we are in our late 40's thats some achievement, and thats why I am so guttered!

She said her ds 19yo came home upset that my ds 10yo! had kicked him in the chest!!! and that he can't be going around doing that sort of thing, she also said they were all with 2 other friends (incidently my twins godparents who my nephew gets along with) and that if I asked them they would side up with my ds, (fishy)

I have just asked my son about it and he said he went to give his cousin a welcome hug and cousin got hold of my ds's shoulders (cause he didn't want a hug, felt silly probably) so my ds kicked his cousin in the chest cause he wouldn't let go of ds's shoulders and then cousin pushed my ds in a bush! so its 6 of 1 and 6 of another.

I would have just put it down to two family members messing around (roughly though) and yes my son shouldn't have kicked cousin, but equally I can see my nephew holding onto my ds to make him kick out, for gods sake he's 19 my ds 10

My sister is very judgmental, a typical big sister and I have always 'done as I was told' just to keep peace, well no more, I am so guttered and upset that she would come to my house in the first place mouthing off about my ds she should get two sides of the story first! and leave them to it, nephew is old enough to sort my ds out in a grown up way without crying home to his mum!

Sorry I'm waffling, I just can't stop crying! I know my 10yo is hyperactive and can be aggressive, but something just tells me unconditional love when it comes to families, I have never reported back to my sister about her son's behaviour ever! and there has been times! but I have always bit my tongue!

I cannot justify any aggressive behaviour so this has hit a raw nerve, cause I know it does need sorting with my ds, I love him to bits I just don't know what to do with him half the time, what with the twins to cope with, its really hard! but I thought my own sister would at least be supportive! both boys in both families are the same and do clash slightly, and thats how I always get by the situation!

Its not as if my son goes bullying and kicking anyone in the streets, for one start he's not allowed out by himself unless he's going somewhere in particular, (I think I was at work that night) and my sister phoned my dh and told him to send my ds round to ds house for her to speak to him, god I'm glad he didn't poor lad!

Sorry I'd better go or I'll be posting 100 pages!
Sorry I just didn't know where to go to get help and support, and I just rambled this all off as I think, so sorry if its rubbish!

Hope you had a better day than I did!

Sorry reece I hope I havent frightened you off, I'm a lot better now, but still havent ironed things out with my sister and its her b'day next week, oh well, time to heal and all that.

How's it going with mini reeces' DD has is now silly 3's my DS still terrible 2's

Night times are just as hectic but sticking with it, still up in the night up to 8 times, but more relaxed and I'm sleeping alittle better, getting used my DH snoring, I seem to encorporate the noise into my dreams then it all of a sudden wakes me up and I kick him to shut up.

Well Autumm looks and feels here, have to shop for those winter clothes, perhaps a trip to tesco or primark and george on the cards, although DS1 not feeling well, might be nerves as we have karate grading tomorrow.

Oh well take care, keep in touch!

Hi Sleepysooz.
Not scared me off at all. Been away on hols last 10days and just back today. So sorry you had a bad day and all that trouble with your sister etc.
It's so horrible when you have to deal with added stress that you really don't need. You have your hands full as it is.
Maybe things will settle down soon. I agree that a 19 year old really shouldn't have to go running to his mum about your DS. The boys should make up between themselves and yourself and your sister should put it down to a silly altercation that meant nothing. It's not worth falling out about. I am sure she will be feling a bad about it all as you are. Maybe she has other things bothering her and that incident made her have a blow out. I don't know but I am sure you will patch things up.

Our holiday was great although DS1's behaviour was pretty bad at times. He did many bold things. To name a few; He pee'd in his dad's shoes on purpose, he locked us all out on our terrace for an hour (had to keep shouting for a maid to help us), he crayoned all over the outside (white) walls of the villa, He pushed a waiter, had tantrums about anything and everything,etc..... He was also an angel at times. When will he learn to do as he is told????????? We are finding it extremely frustrating times and he ignores all discipline techniques etc.

DS2 was a little gem.

DS1 was great with using the toilet.

Sorry reece I'm not much support, I'm afraid I am in stitches laughing at what your DS1 got up to, it read so awful (and normal) I had to laugh!

I don't know what I'd have done in those circumstances, you poor things, don't they show us up sometimes.

I suppose you have come home and need a holiday now to recover, (thats how I usually feel)

Yep it was a testing time but we all had a good holiday as well.

Had a bad night though last night. DS1 woke 2.50am. Tried to get in our bed and I kept returning him. He woke DS2 with his crying etc and for the next 2 hours I was walking from 1 room to the next trying to settle them to sleep. Lets hope tonight is better

DS1 went to Montessori and loved it. No problem going again. He has come home and is singing the alphabet to me . I am so proud.

Arrrh poor FOTM. I really feel for you and your DD.

Sounds to me like she has been a bit down due a combination of things. Tiredness and feeling under the weather make most of us lose our chirpiness.

Yes, they do get absolutely exhausted following pre-school but after a while they get used to it and seem to cope with it better. My DS goes 5 mornings a week and for the first couple of weeks he was a wreck and needed a nap. Now he is fine, goes the whole day without his nap and has even been in good humour during the afternoon. (maybe the holiday did help him get some rest).

The fact that she has had a cough and was asking to come into your bed sounds like she was simply looking for comfort. However, you are doing the right thing sticking to your guns. DS came into our bed a few times on holiday (was frightened of the strange room etc) and has been trying to get into our room now we are home. I have stuck to my guns and not let him in. He has got the message now but its so hard sometimes. I think it is even more difficult to turn them down when they are sick. They are also very clever at persevering even when their illness has gone.

The other thing I wanted to say was that my DS's teacher told me that most children new to pre-school go through a period of separation anxiety behaviour. Maybe DD is having a bit of that now.

Try not to worry - bet she wil be back to her bubbly happy self before you know it.

Glad to hear DD is getting back to herself.

That makes sense about them picking up all the virus's that are going around. DS got over 1 virus a couple of weeks ago and now has a bad cold. DS2 is catching everything from DS1 so we have double the fun!

Hi,

I have just found this thread, looking for solice from the problems we are having with our DD's terrible twos.

The volume she screams at is terrifying, she gets so angry, her body shakes and nothing calms her down.

It stresses the rest of us (incl older DS) to bits - and now it is happening at night as well, with her screaming for up to an hour (after which we usually give in and take her into our bed). I know this is not the thing to do - but the sleep deprivation is killing us all....

Glad to know we are not alone... But would love to know how to reach the light at the end of the tunnel...